I found out why ...

[ImInHeels]

Sorry for the long post, but I've read through it a few times to try and make sure its all clear. OK, so I've known "the twins" now for a few years or so. I met them via a friend who worked with one of them. He shortly started dating the other sister, (the other one already had a boy friend). In my usual style I usually find talking to women fairly easy and would happily chat to them both on group nights out. Anyway over the years of going to their birthday parties, as group night out, a few times with just me and the twins, there next party come's along (this was last year). I was invited to their birthday party again. However a day or two before their party my online invite disappears, nothing else was said. Anyway I was at another friends party last week, and my friend and his girl friend where there, turns out her sisters boy friend took offense to me being friends with his girl friend and didn't want me at the party, or her to talk to me anymore. I guess looking back she did become much more distant around that time. This is probably one of the more extreme cases I've had confirmation of. I guess some guys are threatened by my friendship with their girl friends. (There's been one or two other cases of female friends becoming very distant in the past).

[LovesHiHeels]

I think this happens alot.Your female friend gets a new boyfriend and that is the end of that friendship. One female friend I had and because we used to spend alot of time in the pub I got to know her friends as well. This one friend off hers didn,t have a boyfriend. I turned up to this pub and I said was hello to this friend of hers but she had a new boyfriend. This boyfriend of hers was so jealous that he tried to punch me. All I going to say he came of worse.

[Cammile]

Sorry for the long post, but I've read through it a few times to try and make sure its all clear.

OK, so I've known "the twins" now for a few years or so. I met them via a friend who worked with one of them. He shortly started dating the other sister, (the other one already had a boy friend). In my usual style I usually find talking to women fairly easy and would happily chat to them both on group nights out.

Anyway over the years of going to their birthday parties, as group night out, a few times with just me and the twins, there next party come's along (this was last year). I was invited to their birthday party again. However a day or two before their party my online invite disappears, nothing else was said.

Anyway I was at another friends party last week, and my friend and his girl friend where there, turns out her sisters boy friend took offense to me being friends with his girl friend and didn't want me at the party, or her to talk to me anymore.

I guess looking back she did become much more distant around that time.

This is probably one of the more extreme cases I've had confirmation of.

I guess some guys are threatened by my friendship with their girl friends.

(There's been one or two other cases of female friends becoming very distant in the past).

There are a couple of steps you can take to prevent oddities like this from happening in the future.

Number one; If a girl that you know already has a boyfriend, try adding him to your social list. That means if you are taking the twins out he should have invited him along as well. The tactic here is to introduce yourself to the boyfriend. This way he can personally find out that you're not a threat and will no longer have to rely on his assumptions about your intentions toward his mate.

Number two; Try to be aware of your actions while around other people. Chatting around with the Twins in a private arena maybe a much safer bet than going to parties. While at large functions where everybody knows each other, you are exposing your self to the threat of gossip. Be on your best behavior and treat your female friends more like your boss then a huggy-touchy-kissy toy. This might help dispel any rumors which can be blown out of proportion and eventually ruin a friendship.

[astrid]

This type of thing is very common. It shows real insecurity on behalf of the new boyfriend. The same guy will mock people who are not "normal". I always feel that people with this type of mindset have something to hide. On a side note, my female friends love this in a guy. The look on it as a challenge to change him. Its like getting a guy who is known for cheating and turning him into a loyal non-cheating boyfriend.

[Bubba136]

[snip] Anyway I was at another friends party last week, and my friend and his girl friend where there, turns out her sisters boy friend took offense to me being friends with his girl friend and didn't want me at the party, or her to talk to me anymore.

This is probably one of the more extreme cases I've had confirmation of.

I guess some guys are threatened by my friendship with their girl friends.

(There's been one or two other cases of female friends becoming very distant in the past).

In the case of the "twin sisters," the way I see it, it appears that the "boyfriend" of the twin that isn't the "girlfriend" of your friend, is kinda insecure in his relationship with his girlfriend. As in he's kinda controlling and can't abide any other male figure becoming too friendly or intruding into his (imagined) sphere of influence without feeling threatened. Some guys are just that way!

AS for the other female friends that you've become "distanced" from, perhaps they've "picked up" on your interest in female attire and find it a little disconcerting that you are so interested in some of the subjects that you find so easily to discuss with them.

Individual circles of acquaintances expand and contract with time and changing interests. People grow. And as they do some friend's formally strong connections weaken. And, while maintaining a periphery acquaintanceship, the strength of the ties are significantly weaker.

Have you ever considered that there might be some aspect of your personality that could be the cause for their distancing themselves from you? While I certainly would thoroughly examine the common interests that formally connected you to them to see where some divergence of interests has occurred, I would also take a good look at the possibility that some adjusting of your personality might also be in order.

Otherwise, I wouldn't be overly concerned about growing apart. I'd continue to seek new friends with which i could interact while maintaining the "friendship" with the others.

(Remember the old childhood saying" Make new friends but keep the old.

One is silver, the other gold)

[ImInHeels]

Thanks for the replies, I'll try and respond to everything and try and not miss anything out. I can see cases where a female friend gets a boyfriend after your friends can see you as a threat, and react in a manor as they may not understand your friendship. However even in cases when she already has a boyfriend, and your(my) only intention is friendship, if the guy is in a position where he rejects surly he must be very insecure in himself & his relationship. In the case of the twins. The other twin already had a boyfriend at the time, and although we were not in the same social circle I would always stop to say hello to him if i ever saw him out. The same with any female friend I have who has a BF. I never invited them out myself, it was either to a group thing, or them inviting me somewhere. While I am aware of my actions and I'm not usually a huggy/kissy person, baring the occasional hug hello. However maybe i should review how it looks to others when I'm chatting with women, maybe something there from a distance could be missread, however I can't see how. as for budda's comment on picking up on my interest of female attire, this is not something that i ever talk about or discuss, from time to time I may pay a complement on their outfit. Its only happened a few times, and baring the case of the twins, the others have all be around the time of getting new boyfriends. I have considered the aspect of my own personally, and there are cases when I find that maybe our friendship isn't right for each other. These are fine its all part of making new friends, however there are times where we get on like a house on fire. In some cases are more then able to sit and chat for hours on end. (Ok with that last point in mine, I can also see how some guys could feel insecure).