Breaking the male stereotype?

[trickrider]

I would assume that it is safe to say that most of the guys here long ago decided that they would rise above the "mire" of obsessing about conforming to male stereotypical behavior patterns. I realize that we range from confident cross dressers to guys who have a pair of heels stashed in a box somewhere that are pulled out when no one else is home. For myself, I'm closer to the guy with the hidden box, but in reality almost all of my footwear are technically "womens". My feet are rather small and a tad narrow, so I discovered a number of years ago that women's models simply fit me much better. However, the shoes or boots that are worn daily fall into the range of Dr. Martens, chunky clogs and a good supply of Ariat Fatbaby boots. But the footwear thing aside, I'm curious how a lot of you percieve yourselves relative to what I'd call the typical obsession with being "macho" or whatever that so many guys fall into. Does your open mind in regards to footwear extend through your whole life? In line with my "screen name", I am involved in horse trick riding and I'm a gymnast. Both of these pursuits are for more populated by females than males even though I honestly think that most guys (especially the really outwardly macho ones) would be scared to death to do either. Of course I love these activities, but there is actually something about the majority of participants being female that strengthens the interest. Then again, shouldn't that be a no-brainer to the typical "macho" guy to want to participate in female dominated sports to be in the company of some of the most fit women around? (Sure works for me!) Strangely enough, it must not work for the macho guy. Anyway, I know I'm rambling a bit, but seems like an interesting, perhaps philosophical thread.

[Dawn HH]

Trickrider:-) Welcome to the HH Place. Enjoy your posting while here. Cheers--- Dawn HH

[Bubba136]

Macho guys? You mean the ones that gather on the street corner, chewing tobacco, spitting while scratching their backsides and ogleing and makeing uncomfortable every female that happens to walk past while they're "standing on the corner watching all the girls go by?" Perhaps if you pooled their intellect you my might be lucky enough to gather enough to fill a thimble -- those "macho" guys?

[jazzymj]

I would assume that it is safe to say that most of the guys here long ago decided that they would rise above the "mire" of obsessing about conforming to male stereotypical behavior patterns. I realize that we range from confident cross dressers to guys who have a pair of heels stashed in a box somewhere that are pulled out when no one else is home. For myself, I'm closer to the guy with the hidden box, but in reality almost all of my footwear are technically "womens". My feet are rather small and a tad narrow, so I discovered a number of years ago that women's models simply fit me much better. However, the shoes or boots that are worn daily fall into the range of Dr. Martens, chunky clogs and a good supply of Ariat Fatbaby boots.

But the footwear thing aside, I'm curious how a lot of you percieve yourselves relative to what I'd call the typical obsession with being "macho" or whatever that so many guys fall into. Does your open mind in regards to footwear extend through your whole life? In line with my "screen name", I am involved in horse trick riding and I'm a gymnast. Both of these pursuits are for more populated by females than males even though I honestly think that most guys (especially the really outwardly macho ones) would be scared to death to do either. Of course I love these activities, but there is actually something about the majority of participants being female that strengthens the interest. Then again, shouldn't that be a no-brainer to the typical "macho" guy to want to participate in female dominated sports to be in the company of some of the most fit women around? (Sure works for me!) Strangely enough, it must not work for the macho guy. Anyway, I know I'm rambling a bit, but seems like an interesting, perhaps philosophical thread.

Interesting question. I'd like to think that I draw my identity from a variety of both relatively conventional masculine tropes (I'm a big sports fan, avid bicyclist, and chess player) and totally unconventional ones (heels, I have a catsuit fetish, and my favorite form of cardiovascular activity is dance classes). During my early heeling days (2001-2003), I used to take great delight in wandering around my neighborhood in heels, jeans, and an NFL hoodie. During the non-heeling years (I resumed only about a year ago) I would often hear from more conventionally maculine guys in the neighborhood about how much they admired those "shoes" or those "outfits" I used to wear. They always seemed happy to hear that I planned to resume the shoes and the outfits (though I'm still working my to the catsuits). Back in the day, sometimes guys would tell me in exactly so many words that they wished they had the balls to wear high heels in public too.

So I never had any doubt that I was "representing" for a large group of men who wanted to but for whatever reason didn't dress outside the lines.

-MJ

[Guest]

thats the reason its why I fit better in "womens" sizes/styles too, jazzymj (and to trickrider) they feel better on my feet.

[Maximilian]

Welcome to the forum trickrider. "I'm curious how a lot of you percieve yourselves relative to what I'd call the typical obsession with being "macho" or whatever that so many guys fall into. Does your open mind in regards to footwear extend through your whole life?" Since I can remember, I've always felt that adhering to certain frameworks that society has conceived was rubbish. I believed (and still do) that people are highly complex and multi layered. In my high school yearbook I was written to be a"complex" individual because the people who knew me (but weren't my close friends) could never categorize me into a certain group or label me to be something because I used to hang out with people from various groups, think in a manner that they couldn't form an opinion etc... My interest in feminine fashion styles is simply another way that I try and show the world that black/white is way too simplistic to judge a person. On the other hand, this style is hardly exclusive for me since I do enjoy dressing in a "macho" way as well. I too have been drawn to sports and activities that are more popular with women than men. I did gymnastics as a kid, I still horseback ride, I love to dance (ballroom as well) and have also started going to Yoga class. Society (especially here in North America, less in Europe) views men who are into these activities as not being macho but closer to being gay. I can't find a logical explanation to why my sexual orientation is in question because I like these activities. It's actually more logical that I participate in these activities because I like being around women (which is true). There are subjects that you simply don't talk about with guys that you can talk about with women. Being single, I also have a far better chance befriending and meeting women when I'm surrounded by them instead of playing ball with my male buddies (which is also fun). There are definite advantages to hanging out and enjoying activities that are more female oriented. To sum it up, I enjoy the best of both worlds. I have (according to what society thinks) macho characteristics as well as feminine ones. Both sides of the spectrum make me who I am. While my sexual orientation is clearly part of my macho side, my interest in feminine fashion is an expression of my feminine side.

[Histiletto]

I wish we could get above or eliminate the labeling of crossdresser, for we have made the choice to include the wearing of high heels as part of our attire. But alas, it is the understanding of the world we live in. It is as it is, because there aren't enough examples of male heelers willing to go out in public and be open about their desire to wear high heeled footwear, making it a common sight. With society continuing to think it is perversive for men to wear articles of clothing deemed for women only with no actual determination of ownership, how can any other conclusion be realized by so many? Even in this forum of males who profess to wear heels, there is controversy as to what heels are appropriate for males. Obviously, the choice of wearing what heels is for the individual to select, whether they are male or female.

[blackberry]

Welcome to the forum trickrider.

"I'm curious how a lot of you percieve yourselves relative to what I'd call the typical obsession with being "macho" or whatever that so many guys fall into. Does your open mind in regards to footwear extend through your whole life?"

Since I can remember, I've always felt that adhering to certain frameworks that society has conceived was rubbish. I believed (and still do) that people are highly complex and multi layered.

In my high school yearbook I was written to be a"complex" individual because the people who knew me (but weren't my close friends) could never categorize me into a certain group or label me to be something because I used to hang out with people from various groups, think in a manner that they couldn't form an opinion etc... My interest in feminine fashion styles is simply another way that I try and show the world that black/white is way too simplistic to judge a person. On the other hand, this style is hardly exclusive for me since I do enjoy dressing in a "macho" way as well.

I too have been drawn to sports and activities that are more popular with women than men. I did gymnastics as a kid, I still horseback ride, I love to dance (ballroom as well) and have also started going to Yoga class. Society (especially here in North America, less in Europe) views men who are into these activities as not being macho but closer to being gay.

I can't find a logical explanation to why my sexual orientation is in question because I like these activities. It's actually more logical that I participate in these activities because I like being around women (which is true). There are subjects that you simply don't talk about with guys that you can talk about with women. Being single, I also have a far better chance befriending and meeting women when I'm surrounded by them instead of playing ball with my male buddies (which is also fun). There are definite advantages to hanging out and enjoying activities that are more female oriented.

To sum it up, I enjoy the best of both worlds. I have (according to what society thinks) macho characteristics as well as feminine ones. Both sides of the spectrum make me who I am. While my sexual orientation is clearly part of my macho side, my interest in feminine fashion is an expression of my feminine side.

Thank You for putting into words what I too feel but have been unable to express.

[mtnsofheels]

Hi Truckrider, jazzym, Maximilian and the rest. Interesting train of thought. Your writing provokes a reassessment of why and what I do wearing heels and relaxing with femme side.. You are right we have both sides which we are active in some aspect or another. Perhaps complex is a good start or simply we have dug deep enough in our selves to understand that our mind is the biggest block from really show our uniqueness as a multi faceted person. I would say I am more comfortable with female friends to be who I am rather the tougher male counterparts but is only because they would be less accepting of me, but they also know little about the real me. I have extended that through a lot of what is I do for work when communicating with people, I would say how I am has allowed me to be more sensitive and feeling for more people's difficulties in overcoming their comfort zones or pushing levels of there abilities and risk. With my feminine side I am comforting encouraging and my male side I am taking them beyond their limits and bringing them back safely. Sexual orientation has been in question for me as well since playing either side of the personality can lead to a better understanding of both sides of the fence. But know I have accepted that being, or similar to many of us, as we are is just being me as I am. Unique and fortunate to be allowed to know ourselves and show others how they can be. Lucky! Great post!

[Dawn HH]

Bubba136:-) You sure did describe those corner guys perfectly to a "T". I sure wouldn't want to be a girl and have to pass them on a street corner and take all of that guff. I don't mind wearing girly things, but I wouldn't lke putting up with what they have to to grow up in todays world. It must be very tramatic for them. Cheers--- Dawn HH

[Guest]

A good thought provoking question and in similar ways arrives from time to time as our views of ourselves evolve. Jazzymj has some great feedback. When this happens then the confidence goes up, I had a heelly morning at work on the last day before Christmas, I got a few "whys" and that is a little disconcerting that I was taller. A perfect morning! As me, I was paranoid that I was or could be gay during my teens, I suppose I admired some lads who were better looking than me but I didn't mix with the girls in either mode, I had a curiosity and crossdressed in private pre 16. Sports wise couldn't play football so I didn't match in there, Basketball was a success, never been into horses just bikes, boats and cars. Always admired heels, watching and being jealous. 1970s platforms WOW I was there!, my parents were not so positive! Years go by and we mature with confidence and it got to a point WHY can't I. Being here and a good wife has allowed it to come about. I hate being Flat but I know I can't work in heels or do it all the time, but I enjoy what I do. Alan

[Magickman]

In my case, it was a nasty accident, a fall, in fact. What I did was, I fell down and broke my male stereotype. The recuperation was lengthy and difficult. And, in the end, my male srereotype was irrepairable. So, here I am, a bachelor of middle years, without a functioning male stereotype. Naturally, this has produced some serious consequences. Without the stereotype, I am unable to consistently wear boring men's shoes and clothes. My nails are usually painted, and I am unable to drink beer. My life has been turned upside down. What I have to say to other men is, "Be Careful out there. Protect your stereotype, at all costs. It is the only thing protecting you from complete anarchy and total confusion."