Wedding footwear fashions

[Puffer]

My wife and I went to a ‘second time’ wedding yesterday in a medium-sized East Sussex town. The modest church ceremony was followed by the reception at the nearby golf club in a very pleasant setting, with weather to match. There was a fair range of guests, aged from around 10 to 75 (but very few 25 – 40), notably including about 10 pretty girls aged between13 and 25, three of whom were bridesmaids. Alas, there was really nothing exciting to note on the footwear front. The men can be dismissed immediately; almost all of them wore black Oxfords - just about the dullest men's shoe ever - with absolutely no ‘high’ heels or even ‘shoes of character’ (except, perhaps, my own – fairly pointed black Faith slip-ons).

The bride (a tall, slim blonde in her mid-40s) looked stunning in her dress (which, together with those of the bridesmaids, had been made by my wife as her wedding gift and was greatly admired) but wore almost flat off-white satin pumps with a block heel, neat but totally boring. The youngest bridesmaid (13 and the bride’s daughter) also looked lovely but clearly had great difficulty walking in her 2” kitten heels and her 15-year old sister did somewhat better in black satin 2.5” peep toes. Before the ceremony, my wife was talking to another acquaintance (a neighbour of the bride) and asked after her children. This lady replied that her daughter was now 13 and that ‘you can’t miss her; she’s the blonde in the ‘killer heels’ that she can barely walk in’. When the girl appeared shortly afterwards, she was in a neat black and white dress and complementary two-tone court shoes with a stiletto heel around 3.5” – but she walked competently and confidently in them for the entire period of the wedding and reception and was clearly comfortable. I’m glad she didn’t hear her mother’s reference to ‘killer heels’ (which always sounds pejorative to me) and somewhat disparaging remarks about her ability to wear them – but maybe she had been practising, unknown to mum.

Most of the other girls and a few ladies in their 40s or early 50s wore stilettos. Two of the older ladies looked good in stiletto sandals with heels a little over 4” but there was nothing otherwise higher than about 3.5” and most of the remaining ladies looked as though they were shod for walking round the shops rather than for a wedding, comfy sandals being to the fore. But at least there was none of the common 'my feet are killing me' shedding of shoes before taking to the dance floor in bare feet or nylons, never a flattering sight.

I do wonder what the trend would have been with more ladies present in the 20 – 40 age range, or are the very high platform stilettos etc only for downtown ‘clubbing’ rather than for a smart (but certainly not pretentious) wedding? And the contrast between the two otherwise very similar 13-year old neighbours was very marked, one being totally at ease and the other anything but. A sign of the times, maybe, but I suggest that high-heel practise should be on the school curriculum – and preferably for both sexes!

[onyourtoes]

A bit off topic... In the UK, are weddings the huge industry they've become in the US? There is a service or item for sale for every aspect of the event, from expensively printed pre-invitation "save the date" cards, to the preservation of the bridal boquet, it's all business. According to costofwedding.com, the average US wedding costs $20,398 -- 12,320 GBP.

[Puffer]

The short answer is 'yes' but obviously there are many options and not everyone wants or can afford all the frippery. And I think that 'average' (i.e. mean) total wedding costs are somewhat misleading as many people can have quite an elaborate function without spending a great deal, whilst some others will incur huge expense of many times the mean. Although the credit crunch has encouraged some couples to economise, often by utilising a DIY element with practical help from family and friends with catering and other facilities, I would agree that the UK trend is towards spending more and some couples (or their parents) have very extravagant ideas. I assume that the US follows the UK custom of the bride's family meeting most of the wedding costs, although it is becoming more common for the bridegroom's family to contribute. I suppose I should be lucky that I have no daughters - but none of my 2 sons and 3 stepsons is yet married!

[RPMindy]

it's becoming more common place now for the groom and his family to pitch in... times aren't as easy. i know i pitched in and my fam helped a bit for my wedding (though their help was much less than mines)... for my bro.... my folks pitched in a lot more... and my next bro, the same will happen trend wise. but i think folks are cutting cost more now with the credit crunch. but the one thing that remains constant.. on the dance floor, heels tend to get tossed (though the height worn to evens has dropped a bit though) RPM

[gwl1]

My wife and I married in the mid-1970s when heels for men were the (too-short lived) fashion rage. My wedding shoes were slip-on men's loafers with 2 1/2 or 3 inch heels. I remember they didn't fit all that great because they were a standard D width and I have a narrow foot, so I slid forward in them a bit. Nevertheless they were heels and that's what I loved. I don't have them any more. (I do still have the necktie that I wore for the wedding, and it still fits! LOL) We didn't have much money, and neither did our parents. Our wedding cost $300 for a cake and punch reception (for 50 guests), musicians, minister, and venue. But the marriage is still going strong and there have been a lot of (better fitting) heels since! GWL

[docs41]

My wife and I married in the mid-1970s when heels for men were the (too-short lived) fashion rage. My wedding shoes were slip-on men's loafers with 2 1/2 or 3 inch heels. I remember they didn't fit all that great because they were a standard D width and I have a narrow foot, so I slid forward in them a bit. Nevertheless they were heels and that's what I loved. I don't have them any more. (I do still have the necktie that I wore for the wedding, and it still fits! LOL)

We didn't have much money, and neither did our parents. Our wedding cost $300 for a cake and punch reception (for 50 guests), musicians, minister, and venue. But the marriage is still going strong and there have been a lot of (better fitting) heels since!

GWL

Sounds a lot like my wedding in 1975. I wore a pair of boots with 3" heels an a 3/4" platform. Our wedding was a "shoestring" budget affair too and we are still together and the shoe collection is still going strong! I agree that the heels for men rage of the 70's was far too short lived. At least we are still wearing heels despite what the fashion world says.

[M-a]

I married two years ago and I had bought these gorgeous white heels with black lace and a black bow on them. Matched my white dress with black decorations perfectly! BUT right before I was going to walk down the aisle with my father I choked and paniked. I was so sure that I would tripp on my long dress and fall flat on my face in front of everybody. I ended up walking (more like running) down the aisle without the shoes... Today I'm a lot more confident and if we were to do it again I would definitely choose to wear a 5" heel and still feel comfortable.