aussieheels1

i feel the same as you mate...   it's the thought of someone i know catching me in heels that worries me as well as it takes away the control that I have in who to release this information about myself to (gossip travels fast)...  but then like what most others have said, it's all in the mind and that what ever we think is probably the worst case scenario as to what will actually happen...  i have had internal conflicts about this for may years and it is something that being rational doesn't help the argument over the brain that's not willing to listen/believe.....

btw - great look...  that's how i like to wear my heels too...  although i like much skinnier jeans (which i wear without heels with no issues)...  but everyone have different tastes....

I don't really know the reason. I think it's the finality of being caught. I someone I know, that I would prefer didn't see me, sees me then there is no going back. They will forever know and there is no taking it back. A big part of me wants that to happen. If it does happen then I will have absolutely nothing to be afraid of anymore. Strangers laughing or making comments won't bother me as much, at least that's what I think, it's the ones that you know that seem to have the power over me. The impulsive side of me wants to just mindlessly post one of these pictures on Facebook or a social media site because hen there really is no going back and EVERYONE will know.

The type of heel really doesn't bother me. I am equally nervous about wearing more masculine boots as I am about wearing a pair of tall black strappy sandals (I would definitely take the sandals).

My wife and I are going second hand shopping tomorrow with the little one. I think I'm going to finally do it. Finally just buck up and be a man and stop letting others live my life for me. I want to live my life on my terms and nobody else's. Also, how can I tell my son someday to be himself and not care what others think if I can't practice what I preach. I want to be a good example and I think this is really the first step. My wife even tells me this and says I need some tough love, haha.

Anyways, we shall we what happens. Even though I don't post often every single one of you are a huge inspiration to me. I read the forum everyday several times a day and love seeing all the pictures and reading all the stories and hearing about all of your successes and failures. You're all such great people. JeffB's cAsual style and incorporation of skirts with his heel wearing and thigh boot guys crazy amazing outfits (and guts) are a few of the honorable mentions. Also, I am really really loving sleek heels' outfits. I'd like to work up to that someday. I especially love that awesome floral skirt and denim skirt in one of your recent posts on your thread. You're all fabulous and thank you so much

i agree with everyone's comment that dark secluded location may be more trouble than it's worth but at the same time i'm like you and am too worried/scared to go out in busy area for fear of people laughing/mocking me or run into someone I know....    most of my outings are at night and I find that putting petrol in cars after hours in heels is a good place to start.  I've also been to supermarket that open till late when it;s not so busy in heels without too much of an issue...

not sure if this matches what yo are after but i find that a pair of more tight fitting or skinny jeans and they will work with the heels and the rest of my top male half walldrobe.... to me the jeans matches the the heels while it suits the casual tshirts and jackets that i normally wear....

when it comes down to it.... maybe everyone is right... maybe there's no such thing as masculine and feminine and it's just a society accepted stereotype... but even though they are stereotypes, i think what everyone have is a longing to belong and fit into the standard stereotype (to some degree). Sure we all have our own individuality but most people take into the context of the stereotype as to what these individuality traits are.... so maybe to re-phase the OP statement we are wning the inner-stereotype women by wanting to wear heels (in private and public)

this had been an interesting thread... I think at the end of the day everyone is pretty much agreeing to each other but we are all just at different stages of our life and different stage of heel wearing and acceptance. Yozz - i think you make a great example... for those that think it's too specific, please note that example is just there for make a clear point and obviously Yozz is going to find an example that gives the most black and white points to his case... but our own experience is probably somewhere in between.... it doesn't have to be a respected university professor to have those issue... it could just be someone doing an office job where they are worried about prejudice and not getting promoted because of their choice of footwear... sure they can make a fuss to HR about discrimination but is it worthwhile to do so... at the end of the day, it comes back down to heels are not generally socially accepted on men and thus is another possible reason where people can make incorrect judgement on us.... we can choose to face it and live with it or avoid it but also miss out the complete freedom of wearing heels all the time....

ilikekicks - there's nothing you are saying I disagree with, but knowing something and then being able to carry through with doing it is 2 different things.... I think we all agree and know that the whole gender based clothing is a state of mind.... what makes something more feminine and masculine is simply dictated by some designer or general perception/acceptance of an idea.... but we all live in this world with these pre conceived roles which everyone use as a guide to live by.... most of us are brought up to believe that these stereo type is an accurate reflection of how things should be.... it's very hard to break this "state of mind" and be free of it...... I really do wish i'm brave enough, strong enough, to ignore these conventions but most of us have the need to belong and don't want to be an outcast... further more we all have fears of loosing whatever social structure you have already acquired in their stage of life.... i know these may all be seen as excuses but they are the reasons why it's often not as simple as just do it..... I admire a lot of the posters on this forum and how they have manage to integrate their heels desires to their everyday life and I think you guys are much braver men than i ever will be.... i hope i'm not putting a downer on here but it's actually feels good to actually type this out to better understand myself... and maybe others might feels the same....

waiting to see details and see whether it's possible for me to pop down for a visit.......

I have to back Pumpcat up on this thread... i understand and agree with what the other is saying that it's more to do with one's confidence than whether Men is "allowed" to wear heels. But I have the same insecurity as pumpcat has and go through phases where I can go get petrol in my heels and skinny jeans and singlet top and then the very next day I would be worried about whether my skinny jeans are too skinny and people would know that they are girls jeans. I want to be able to ignore the world perceptions and wear what I want (and I can hear the posts after mine saying I;m an idiot and I should be able to do this), but the reality is we all have different lives with different relationships and interactions where this may not be possible (again this might be a state of mind). While there are quite a few of you on the forum that are completely comfortable in their own skin and have the confidence to wear whatever they want all the time, I think for each one of you there are 100 who are concern and does not have the same confidence.... that's why we are on here looking for support.... I love this forum and have always been around for inspiration and support but some of those comments may put pumpcat off from further posting on here asking for advice... and I think that's a lost for lots of people who may not be posting but are lurking as they are not sure how to handle their feelings towards their desire to wear heels..... btw pumpcat.. in answering your original question.... for me, I think it's easier to get away un-noticed for wearing certain "female" clothing items as compare to heels.... i wear girls skinny jeans, yoga pants, shorts and pants all the time and have many girls singlets (which are longer and have racing or strappy back)... unless they are extremely feminine (eg lot of lace or it's a skirt or dress) most people don't know their fashion enough to notice.... whereas (in my mind) heels are a clear stand out as people in general have a black and white line as to who wear heels.....

If they can get elected to be President/Prime Minister etc, then I can wear heels If they can be so stupid and be senior managers/VP, then I can wear heels If they can have "Tiger Blood" then I can wear heels If they can earn millions and millions of dollars bouncing/throwing/kicking a ball around, then I can wear heels

joirisken123... good for you..... you have made a huge step and have done something a lot of us in the forum is still struggling to do..... I'm definitely not one to give advice as I have failed to tell my parents and is constantly concern that they may run into me wearing heels..... but I can tell you that you are probably correct in thinking that your interest is not likely to go away. I have had a conflict with my wanting to wear heels (and cross dress to some degree) for so long and keep buying and throwing things out ... it took me so long to appreciate that this is a part of me and I need to accept it and move on and see where it takes me. Like the others, I was wondering how old your sister is, as I would think that she may be one of your best support (assuming you are close... and also you would know her personality more than us). If she is younger than maybe your parents is right in asking you not to tell her as yet. I'm sure your parents will take time to accept this... in fact it's not even a matter of acceptance, they probably have so may things going through their mind before it gets there. Again all parent is different, but being a parent myself, I can tell you if my son want to wear heels (ior tell me he's gay or anything that is not accepted as norm), my first thought is about protecting him to make sure he will not get picked on and then it might come to thinking about whether it's my fault in how we brought him up (whether I have influence him to do so or missed signs earlier on).... so I think it does take a bit of time until acceptance come around.... hopefully you will get your family support but I do agree with others, let's not push it for a little while and see whether they will bring it up with you or it get brushed under the carpet. Histletto - I had similar experience as you and had the same thought that if heels (or feminie clothes) are accepted as norm for male to wear, would I be as obsessive with heels etc.... my current thinking is.... I have no idea..... this is always one that puzzled me..... I keep thinking that if it is widely accepted than I would wear heels whenever I want and probably dressed a lot more feminine but then again if it is generally accepted, then there's no such thing as feminine so the whole argument just collapse on itself..... something we'll never find out i guess....

i usually buy girls skinny jeans.... but i do like the low rise on them... Have a pair of high rise which is alright (as it hold my beer gut in a little bit I like the jeans to be really skinny... and often have people commenting on how skinny my jeans are... with which my response is that "Are you suggesting I'm fat" or "Normal jeans, fat legs"

freestyle75 - that's some detail tracking of your spending... i almost think i rather not know what i've spend on sometimes sleekheels - I go through phases of when I'm confident enough to wear heels in public or not... but mostly I'm a closet wearer and thus often feel guilty about buying heels when I can't really get full enjoyment of wearing them out and about..... even when I do venture out it is for late night petrol refill or supermarket run.... fantastic feeling when I do it but my fear i(of being seen by someone I know) often gets the better of me..... BTW - I did go back to the store with credit card ready but the heels I wanted were gone.... I hope it gone to a good home somewhere...

Man... now I'm really regretting not getting the heavily discounted heels.... hope it is still there tomorrow when I go back to get them...... this will be the most expensive heels I've own (admittedly not in the league of others heels purchases here in this thread)..... I really want to spend money on the heels and wear them but just not being able to wear them more (as in going out) really make me question every purchase.... I suppose it's lucky to some degree.... if I was a woman, I would probably spend my life savings on shoes..... LOL

I saw a gorgeous pair of heels in my size at Myer (department store in Australia) today and the retail price was $249 and was discounted to $119.... I was so tempted to buy it but so far, my most expensive pair of heels in my relatively large collection is less than $60. I almost pull the trigger as it is hard to come by a pair of beautiful heels greatly discounted at the right size but just can't justify spending over $100 on it as I'm still pretty much in the closet with my heels wearing and will not get enough wear of it. Now that I'm home and thought through it, I'm getting non-purchase remorse thinking I've missed the deal/chance of the century..... This lead me to think to ask you all... I know everyone financial situation is different and also the stage of their heel wearing is different (I think if I knew that I can wear it out in public all the time, I would not hesitate to spend the full $250 to buy the heels), how much is the maximum amount you have or would spend on a pair of heels.... did you regret your purchase... or like me regret not making the purchase?

love the concept..... looking through all of the photos... what really stand out to me after looked at a few is that the person gender and the clothe's perceived gender does't really stand out anymore and that everyone looks fine wearing either gender's clothing..... have to agree... a lot of the male looks very comfortable in the other gender's clothing (probably due to good photography direction as they are imitating the original pose. I suppose the images reinforce the idea that gender specific clothing is irrelevant as enough people wearing each other clothing, the gender line disappear and everything just look natural on whoever is wearing it.... not that would be a better place for all of us.....

web_jock..... i too find images of females in heels skateboarding very sexy even though i think they are just posing rather than actually doing tricks on the board.... i can believe they can probably ride a straight line on them but may be hard to turn and balance. every now and then i see female on motor cycles wearing high heels/boots... that to me is extremely sexy as well....

can't really say it is for the comfort.... definitely because I feel good wearing them... be it or not for the feminine thing....

that is a brilliant christmas present.... wish i had the same.....

absolutely.... always dream to be a woman (for brief moments of time) so that I can wear everything that is acceptable to wear.... I understand that I can wear it as a man and it is no ones business except for mine to wear what I want... however, I want to pull off the look and as much as it shouldn't be important, I want other people to see me and appreciate the look (as oppose to thinking why is that man wearing high heels and skinny jeans) do want want to be a woman full time.... no way... do I want to be able tio wear what they can wear and actually pull the look off.... yes.....

A picture for you all to see what I was wearing...

Heelguy

look amazing mate... wish i look half as good as that in that gear..... and wish even more i had the confidence you have with dressing how you want when you want and where you want....

Mind you, if I look as good as you in the pic, I probably would be dressing like you everywhere i go

well done mate..... and great response from the woman behind you... A large amount of my outings are also late night petrol/gas run.... must be something about going somewhere that is open late at night to minimise the amount of people one would encounter.... it's odd though, sometimes i would get nervous wearing a low heel (or even ballet flats with long baggy jeans) but then other times I've done it with not a care in the word with stilettos and skinny jeans.... i suppose it all depends on my confidence on the day/night....

I'm a size 11 and definitely would prefer to be size 9 so I can get my size easier... on the plus side, when there is a discount, size 11 seems to be ones that are available (unless the other heels wearing men get to them first!! LOL)

When you say lingerie, is that a sexual thing?.

Not sure what is the definition of a sexual thing.... wearing lingerie and heels make me feels good.... is it always a sexual thing... probably not, but it makes me feel nice (don't really know how best to explain it)....

I'm sure most women don't wear lingerie and heels for comfort and there's an element of sexual, an element of them feeling great that they are looking great and some empowerment for them feeling attractive....

So I suppose what I'm saying is that, there's always probably some sort of sexual element to my feeling to liking to wear heels but it all comes back to me feeling great in them (let's not fool myself saying they are more comfortable then flats).... I just feel good in them as I think they look great and want to wear them all the time

btw - i'm straight but love wearing all things feminine ... go figure....

I always get a laugh when I see girls out and they bitch about there high heels and then I look and there wearing like 2" heels LOL It's like hey look at my REAL heels! LOL

i agree highheelsgirl... when i hear that complain from girls I often join in and joke that i hate having to wear my 5 inch stillettos all day... little do they realise, i meant the opposite

sounds like a great night..... I agree though, even though I love wearing heels and female jeans and tops and want to add some feminine edge to my style, i don't think i'm wanting to do this to get male attention.... it's definitely about about me and how i feel when I'm dressed like this....