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Yes, you are a lucky person! If we look at the statistics, more than half of the female partners is actually supportive. This is very encouraging. This leaves of course the people who have a partner that cannot handle some characteristics of their SO. For whatever reason. I guess those of us with a supportive partner should just enjoy their good fortune. I once read, in the days before I ran into hhplace, when I was still going around the internet to find out more about myself, that about 50% of the men have 'the nylon gene', meaning that they like soft and smooth fabric. I also read that estimates are (in the UK) that at least 50% of the men have experimented with female items of clothing (or so considered). Maybe with women there are similar things and a given percentage has a predisposition of wanting a partner who looks super manly by whatever standard defines what is manly. Anything that interferes with that is seen as bad. Of course when we get involved with such a partner, it boosts our ego that we are appreciated so much as a man, but then when we come to the point of "Oh yes, there is this little detail about high heels" we are turning someones world upside down. There the conflict is born. We like this person very much for one thing and have a fundamental problem with another. Telling ones wife may be one of the more difficult moments in ones life. For me it was. And the relief was enormous when she accepted it and became supportive. Hence I can relate so much with other stories like it. And I feel so sad when people get a bad reaction. Let us just hope that once men in heels will be socially accepted, the people who now cannot handle it, will start coming around as well. Of course then the problems will be with something different, but that may not involve most of us. OK OK, I got a bit talkative after a good part of a bottle of sake...... Y.

After more than a year a new avatar. These are my latest Pikolinos. They are from the winter 2008/2009 collection. They are Spanish shoes and they are rather wide. My wife has them also and she usually takes a size 42, because of the width in normal shoes, but here she could do with a size 41. In my case I still had to do with a size 40, because I have some soles that give the bottom more profile (in length I normally take 39). They are very comfortable and I have gone into town with them several times already. The heels are about 3 inches. And although you don't see much of me, yes, it is me. If you want to see more detail: Y.

The great merit of hhplace is in my eyes that it has given many people quiet of mind. The knowledge that you are not the only one, and that the urge to go out with your heels is also shared by others. And it also helps in discussions with ones SO to be able to say that there are many others. The massive amount of data about men who like heels has helped many people when they broke the news to their partner. I think that thanks to hhplace my wife has no real problems with me going out in heels. Her only consideration is whether I make a fool of myself. Hence it has to look good and not be too obvious. Others don't have that restriction. Still, one doesn't see men with heels easily. I was today downtown Amsterdam in the Kalverstraat (one of the busiest streets) and realized that even if there would be several men with heels (mine were only 6cm) you wouldn't notice. Either you look for shoes and every time you see heels and you look up, you see a woman, and conversely, when you look for men and then look down you see flat (often sneakers). It becomes very tiring after a very short while and hence you stop doing this. Conclusion: only if your attention is really drawn to it (like red pumps that cry for attention) you would notice. Is that a good thing? Y.

I don't think there is anything wrong with lighter colors. The important thing is that the whole fits together. That your shoes are not crying for attention in the whole. That the first look of anybody else goes to the whole you, not to a little part. If that is the case you are special maybe, but that is all. It can get respect if you do it well. But if you have one item of clothing that is nonconforming and forcing attention on it like red stiletto's in an otherwise drab colored outfit, people may think you are strange (or worse). And have bad taste. Of course that is my 2 cents only..... Y.

Very smooth transaction plus it was a buy one get one half off.

All that planning was (in my eyes) a total waste.

The important part is: "act normal". Anything else can only spoil it.

The only reactions one may get is when the sales assistant is very inexperienced.

Like you are the first male to ever buy a pair of heels from her.

And then she will look funny no matter what.

Just select a sales assistant who is experienced.

Y.

How much the neighbors hear depends very much on the exact composition of the floor, and on how you walk. Some people make very much noise even barefoot. But this is a lower type of sound then when you have for instance heels on a parket floor. With parket it depends very much on what is under it (floating or directly on the concreet). With a carpet it depends on the quality of the carpet of course. With my parket I have the solution that if the heels are not too pointy, one can use these felt things that you usually put under the legs of the chairs and other things to protect the parket. They stick rather well and after that there is no problem at all. After a few weeks they may come off at the heel and you may have to put a new one. They don't work too well with stilettos though. If it is just a matter of practising, you could use heels of the height you like and a surface of about one square inch (or a bit more) and put this protector. You can also put a bigger piece under the front part. Now you can walk all you want and you make even less sound than with the shoes your wife thinks you are wearing. (or than with slippers). I hope this helps. Y.

We have a beautiful oak wood floor. My wife and I have agreed that we will not allow any stiletto heels on it. Or shoes with metal under them. (I experimented on loose unfinished pieces of parket and stiletto heels do leave marks. I don't think the finish I have, which accentuates the beauty, will change that). On the other hand, with a good finish, regular heels don't leave any marks. Hence we will walk on it with all other types of shoes. For a while I used to walk (out of lazyness) often on my socks, but the podologist told me I shouldn't do that. It caused me problems under my foot and walking became very painful. Now I always use shoes, with or without heels, with some special soles and everything is fine. The floor is still in mint condition after quite a few years. Maybe, in a few years, I may have to put a new protective layer on it, but that is all. Y.

Hi, My favorite brand is Oroblu. That is available in many countries of the EU. They have many types, but if you are very tall they may not have your size because their larger sizes seem to go more in the width than in the length. I use the 44-46 size and when I buy one size larger it doesn't give much more length, and it isn't very tight in the upper part. The L'eggs that all our US friends recommend I have never seen in Europe, but I haven't been much in the UK. Y.

When I started using an epilator on my legs, my wife told me to not use the epilator under the arms. Ingrown hairs can cause rather nasty infections there. On the legs it is another matter. There the ingrown hairs are more harmless. Y.

Could it be that these people are from Russia (or Ukraine)? If you study the size table that jmc pointed at, that would be the only thing that makes sense. Y.

Just a little remark that has come up here in the past. If it is the fact that the shoes come from the ladies department that is causing problems for your wife, you might want to know that Yves Saint Laurent sells heels for men. They are about 3 inches. The price is however rather high. But if it solves your problems it might well be worth saving for. Y.

Interestingly I just heard an interesting bit of trivia and would love for any astronomy buffs to comment...On a clear night there are only about 2,000 stars visible to the naked eye...would love to know if that's accurate.

This depends on a few factors.

1: where you are (city, mountains)

2: whether there is a full moon.

3: how good your eyes are.

Under ideal conditions for all three cases the number may be more than 5000.

In the center of NY you should be pleased with a few dozen.

When it is really dark and it is overhead you can see the milkyway as a band

across the sky. That is very impressive. I have seen this only once as I am

a city person (with a few good star atlasses though).

Y.

Because he doesn't want to cool his heels?

Hate to disappoint you, but the Andromeda galaxy is in the Andromeda constellation. It is a rather vague spot that really doesn't mimic a star. The nebula you refer to is the Orion nebula, which isn't a galaxy but an enormous gas cloud inside our own galaxy. There are many pretty pictures of it, but they are all taken with big telescopes. With a little amateur telescope you can just see a vague spot. Ursa major, of which the big dipper is part, is really a large constellation. The big dipper is just the tail part. It is in its best position when indeed it is low, when the bear is with its feet down. Y.

I agree very much with stilettoscot. He has worded it rather well. You have to realize that you get something for free here that you cannot get anywhere else, unless maybe you set up your own forum. Then others will be your guests. I have been following this forum for a few years now, first only passively and later also with some contributions. What I have seen is that over time things slowly mutate till at a given point the management team pulls things back to "the original target". Sometimes people get very excited during arguments and become so excited that they post messages that they might regret if they had only waited a few hours before pressing the reply button. Sometimes it even results in people being banned without others knowing why, because the insulting messages are removed. But all the time you can know that some people have been thinking before they do these things because they also like to see a nice forum. Even if to the users it seems counterintuitive. My advise is that if you really disagree with something, wait at least 12 hours before posting a reply or a follow up. It will improve things greatly. And also try to look at things from the viewpoint of the administrators who DONATE us their time. In society they ask you at most once a year your opinion on a limited number of subjects and they make you pay lots of taxes, yet you know that you should just accept whatever the high and mighty decide and make the best of it. Try to do that here too: try to enjoy that what can be enjoyed. Y.

I think what we need is a way for non-supportive partners to be able to communicate with supportive partners. It may however not be easy to organize this properly. Given a non-supportive partner, one needs the right person for the communication. One with whom things click. Arkansas vs Sweden is probably not it. Have there been examples of such communications in the past and how did that work? Y.

Since your wife has the opinion that your shoes shouldn't look feminine, then does she ever wear any shoes that look masculine, or does she always wear feminine stiletto high heel shoes? If the answer is that she sometimes does wear masculine shoes, then don't let her tell you that you shouldn't wear feminine shoes. There is no room for double-standards in this world.

Actually it isn't like that. All her shoes are feminine. She doesn't even own any sneakers

croccs toeslippers and that type of stuff.

It is just that by mutual agreement neither of us doesn't have stilettos (because we have

a very beautiful and expensive wooden floor and don't want to damage that) and we

don't want to rock the boat too much when I go out in the street. Hence she helps me

select shoes when we look for shoes that I can go into the neighborhood with safely

although the last vote is my own.

We do own a number of boots and shoes that are identical (except for the size).

Depending on where we are going/ whom we are visiting we may not wear them

at the same time though. As I said, we don't want to really provoke our environment.

Y.

I haven't talked to my wife for three days. I don't like to interupt her.

I really don't think I would want to be seen with or hang out with guys wearing stilettos. It really wouldn't fit within the circles in which I move, so to speak.

Where would you put the line? Are block heels acceptable? Or the conical heels that

are currently in fashion? (mostly female fashion of course)

My wife wouldn't want to be seen with me wearing stilettos, but the above mentioned

heels up to 3 inches she doesn't have problems with.

Basically her opinion is that my shoes shouldn't look feminine. Of course the definition

of feminine is very subjective, but since usually our tastes agree rather well I am

not going to argue.

Y.

Eventually it will come down. I don't know after how many years though. Probably fewer than 100. Unless of course it hits another space shuttle and the people in Houston will have a tough time figuring out what happened. Time for the ecologists to worry about all the garbage we have dumped in space. There are many thousands nuts and bolds in orbit. You get hit by one of those you have had it. Y.

The fewer stories you tell, the less attention you draw. When you make a big and complicated construction they will for sure remember you and talk about you (and probably laugh about you). Do as Dr. Shoe says. Do natural. That is the way not to draw attention. Don't tell stories. You don't tell stories when you buy a pair of jeans or a sweater from the mens side of the shop either. Y.

Maybe he means 'billing hours'? I want to congratulate our US members on their choice. It is giving the whole world (with only few exceptions) a new hope. And the speech in which McCain congratulated Obama was a very good example of how a democracy should be. It is very hard to understand those people who are not willing to accept the result. On the one hand they try to tell the rest of the world they should be democratic and on the other hand they cannot accept the results of their own elections. According to an analysis I saw on TV one of the problems is less dialog between people. People live in neighborhoods of all likeminded people (probably add to that thay they only visit selected discussion forums) and never really discuss with people of other beliefs. In such an environment it is easy to look at others as being 'not real people'. I find the words 'entitlement crowd' needlessly offensive. But on the whole, we are all looking forward to a new future in which there will be more dialog between the nations. Y.

I prefer stilettos, preferably metal, why would I want to make them quiet?

If you live in an apartment (like most city people) and you have a beautiful but hard

floor, you may not want to bother the neighbors too much.

Y.

What's going on, can anyone explain? Does anybody else feel like this?

Maybe it is the same mechanism as when a little child sees a toy and suddenly

it needs to have that toy and will dream of nothing else and for weeks will be asking

for that toy and promises that it will never need another toy and will never ask

for more and then when it gets the toy it will play with it for a few days and then

of course start looking for the next one.

I have been thinking about your question for years now, and the best I can come

up with is that there are events in our youth, we may not be consciously aware of

them, in which our mind makes a connection between something and a feeling

of well being, shelter, happiness, fulfilment, etc. After that, maybe at a later age,

whenever we see or experience this something, the mind thinks of the corresponding

emotion. Maybe the high heel shoes are connected with the feeling of happiness

or protection or whatever that your mother or sister gave you and somehow you

try to recreate this feeling by being as close to such high heel shoes as possible.

I believe that everybody must have some of those 'programmings'.

Of course, some psychological features have genetic effects, but I don't see how

genes should know about high heel shoes, unless it is a manifestation of something

more generic.

The thing I really worry about is if 'science' figures out how such a mechanism works.

Can you imagine what the advertizing industry would do with that knowledge?

Or big brother?

My personal reaction to the above is that I just try to enjoy it.

Cannot get rid of it anyway.

Y.