SleekHeels

Unfortunately yes. Amongst the current trends for women there seems to be a move towards casual menswear, checked shirts, rough jeans, workstyle boots etc. Being the old fashioned git I am I prefer women to look like women.

Maybe the women prefer than I look like a man.....hmmmmm

You hit the nail on the head Walkonit... for fashion freedom there are two sides to the coin.

They are very pretty, I love that style of ankle strap that crosses over at the back.

I voted "no" but that's just my personal preference to be clean-shaven as part of an overall look I feel comfortable with. But if others can make the look work then good luck to them.

I think it's interesting how the other gender-related issues came up under this particular thread. I mean, men have a free choice of whether to grow a bear or not, but to an extent women have facial and body hair quite naturally but they go to great efforts and expense to eradicate it under immense social pressure. It just goes to show how strong cultural norms are over our natural state (can you imagine birds pulling all their feathers out to look "beautiful"?). As for heels, they're an entirely cultural creation, it's no more "natural" for one gender to wear them over another. However, the fact remains that I shouldn't be at all surprised if my wife thinks I look silly in stilettos or classifies me as a transvestite for wearing them, because that's the cultural norm, but I'd hope we could avoid hostilities and discuss the matter openly and come to a compromise that respects each others feelings.

And yes, sometimes I do feel "silly" wearing heels, not because of society's reaction to guys wearing them (women in heels can get lots of disapproval from other women too), but because in certain situations they're just totally impractical (like walking on cobbled streets) or even dangerous (clack-clack-clacking alone on a dark street at night)... and women might feel silly in heels for just the same reasons.

Finally, it's impossible to separate fashion from gender - just about every clothing store is divided into mens/womens, and even this forum "for the girls" and "for the guys"... sometimes issues around heels will cross those gender boundaries and challenge them, and on the whole the moderators do a difficult job well to distinguish this from CD/TV/TS-specific issues.

I think the first pair are the nicest shoes, but they do look a little too formal with those trousers - a slightly more smart-casual pair of cropped trousers might go better, and a slightly darker colour (tan, light-brown/capuccino, or stonewashed blue denim) could provide some subtle contrast and work well with a top to match the colour of the shoes. Otherwise if you're sticking with lighter coloured trousers go for a white top. Hope you find a look that works for you.

I did a similar test once and it scored me towards the female side of the spectrum. At this point my Y chromosome should've taken over with a couple of expletives and a loud fart, but my vastly more intelligent X chromosome won over and I decided it's quite a compliment and I felt rather flattered and good about myself as a human being

I think I'd also feel uncomfortable with 20 staff around... that's just unlucky timing. If you're not trying them on then a busy time is best as you'll just be another customer in the queue. For trying on I've found the best times are early afternoon (after the lunchtime rush but before the schoolkids hit the mall) or late evening (but not too close to closing time), though it depends on the store and the location.

I still sometimes walk out of a store because I don't feel comfortable, either because I picked a bad time (live and learn) or because the store didn't create a welcoming environment - they're the ones who have failed and should feel embarassed if they can't make all their customers feel welcome.

To get your red shoes, pop into the store again on a few different occasions and see if you get lucky and feel comfortable enough one time (maybe wear tights - even if you don't try the shoes on, they might help you feel more like you're not in the wrong department)... I'm sure we'll all look forward to a success story and a photo of the shoes of course!

hhboots, "the only try on station is a big island right in the middle of the store" used to fill me with dread too, but the last couple of times I've thrown myself into it and it was great! (I'll post as soon as I take some photos).

It sounds like you asking her to wear heels so much and admiring other women wearing heels has made her feel second-place to the shoes, and she sees them in a different light now. Surely she wants you to love her, not her shoes or other clothes.

Perhaps you need to build her confidence that you love her unconditionally.

Walkonit, I think you are so right about that... make her feel loved without any expectations beyond that, and even if she never rediscovers her heels again at least you'll have done something for the relationship to get out of the stubborn stalemate.

@hhboots inspired me with his pictures. Together with my wife we decided to buy Aldo Franchette (UK 7 and UK 9). And so here there is a picture of these beauties

That's a beautiful tangle of legs in high heels, you both look very pretty in your shoes.

Any ideas why she's gone off them so much, legs777777 ?

When you said:

I still have some of the scars as a reminder not to say anything.

my wife has a nice collection of heels but wish she would wear them more often. any suggestions on how to get her in them more without just bugging her all the time.

Same problem here, wifes very stubborn, any suggestions eagerly welcome.

This reminded me of another post, so I posted my reply there: http://www.hhplace.org/guys/19303-who_s_been_caught_looking_another_womans_heels.html . Basically do things to try to make it easier for her to wear heels by removing the difficulties (surely if the phrase "put yourself in her shoes" applies anywhere, it applies here!).

If any one has some constructive suggestions on the art of persuasion of my good lady, without the fear of the silent treatment for weeks on end, I would obviously be very grateful. For the time being I will need to carry on wishing and looking.

Is it possible that she might wear heels more if you encouraged her to wear them less? What I mean is, if she's thinking of wearing heels out (say, to dinner) but she's put off by having to walk any distance in them or have to carry an extra bag around so she can wear her flats and change into them... instead of saying "wear them! wear them! wear them!" maybe you could offer to carry her shoe-bag for her so she can wear her flats and change into heels later - basically anything you can do to actually make it easier for her to wear heels rather than just encourage her to put up with the difficulties. I'm clutching at straws, but maybe that'll give you some other ideas.

You are correct. I do enjoy the reactions I get from my female friend when she sees me wearing high heels. But, at least in my mind, she does act differently with me when wearing and not wearing high heels. Maybe treated differently might have been the wrong way to ask this. But at least in my case, I do notice a differnece in her.

I like your question a lot... it makes us think about positive and negative aspects of being treated differently, and the reactions we'd like compared to the reactions we get.

I know my wife loves me and is very understanding of my way of life, although I mentioned in an earlier post that I get the sense she is not always fully comfortable with this at all times. I do make a significant effort to ensure I don't look like a complete ass when I heel with my wife and I want to come across looking as natural and comfortable doing it as possible. I try hard to I put her feelings first and if there is ever a time that I feel she is embarrassed while she is with me, I would seriously reconsider doing it in the future.

That's so important. Sometimes we can be so self-absorbed in our heeling (and get so used to feeling isolated by the negative reactions to it) that we forget to actually be sensitive to the needs of our loved ones. If we're so caught up thinking we're breaking barriers down when we're actually putting barriers up withour realising it, maybe that could be a part of why we're treated differently.

Welcome! What other styles of heels do you like to wear now? Are heels very popular in Finland, or is it very rare to see them? Enjoy sharing your high-heel experiences on the forum.

Glad to hear you're enjoying your heels and looking after your feet. Have fun and enjoy the forum.

Welcome Stilettos72, Your first outing sounds fun. What shoes did you wear? And just as important, how did it feel? Did you Halloween experience help to give you confidence?

The question "are you treated any differently?" makes me also wonder: "Do you want to be treated differently?". Sure on the one hand we want to just be accepted and be treated no differently at all... but if wearing heels is an expression of how we feel inside, don't we want that to be recognised and acknowledged, and in that repsect being treated differently is part of the acceptance?

Hi Kit and welcome. What type of boots were you looking for? Did you find them? What kinds of heels do you like? Enjoy the forum

I've only recently gone public with my heels, but yes, an encouraging partner would give me more confidence to go places in heels with her that I wouldn't go by myself.

The shopping suggestion sounds great. Although I've done that alone, it's be so nice to share the experience with her (and I mean share it, I'd want it to be fun for her, not just something she'd do reluctantly to make me happy). I really would enjoy watching her trying on shoes as much as trying them on myself.

And it wouldn't just be restricted to a partner either. Just going out and doing those things with supportive girl friends would be awesome too.

I ticked 3" round-toe wedge heel quiet covered because that's the best match for my one proper street-heeling experience so far. As for in store, I've think tried just about every option apart from sandal but with summer coming that one should be ticked soon.

It tends to be assumed that men look at women like pieces of meat, mentally undressing them... and maybe a lot of men are doing exactly that, so it's no surprise that women find it hard to believe that a guy can admire a woman in any other way, and feel like they're being cheated on. But then if you're checking out a woman and thinking "wow, I wonder how I'd look in those heels" then maybe it's more "mentally dressing" yourself rather than "mentally undressing" someone else, and perhaps partners who know about heeling and accept it don't feel so betrayed by that. Personally I resent the reaction that we face being ridiculed for wearing heels. I want to wear my heels with self-respect and to be respected (how crazy is that?), and that's taught me that there's nothing "immoral" about heels (for guys or girls), I'm not turning myself into a piece of meat by wearing them, and neither is a woman so I don't have to look at her like a piece of meat to find her attractive. I accept I'm probably in the minority on this one, but then maybe that's exactly why I want to wear heels, to signal that I'm not the typical guy who's going to look at women in a degrading way, and challenge the gender stereotype that all guys are just apes and that all women just have to accept that.

I'd enjoy wearing stylish flats rather than ugly heels, so style wins over height... but of course stylish heels would be the best combination by far.

I've never tried their boots before, but I guess now I'm trying on in store they could be worth a try if I see a style I really like.

Nice boots, they easy to walk in?

Pretty much the easiest of all my shoes and boots, they're only 3½" heels, and the mile walk was really comfortable.

Thanks for posting about your adventures. I enjoyed it, and it's helpful for me to imagine so many hours in heels.

I also had my first adventures out this week after a year or so indoors. First trip out was maybe 10 min in the grocery and then into a Starbucks. Today was even shorter. It was interesting and fun and my interest is growing. Today, I had a brief trip out to the post office in boots very similar to yours. Mine was from DSW, called an Audrey Brooke Leather Wedge boot, about 4" heels. It is a bit noisy! and I was self conscious. But had fun.

That must've been quite a buzz, did you get any reactions or were you as invisible as I was? Those DSW Audrey Brooke boots look like a good choice for first-time heeling. They look really quiet, how come yours were so noisy? Mine are as quiet as trainers/sneakers which is almost too quiet. I'll stick with them for now - I'd love to build up to trying my ankle boots ( http://www.hhplace.org/attachments/everybody/12169d1299728320-boot_photo_shoot-black_ankle_boots.jpg ) with black jeans, but it seems like a big step to go from wedge heels to non-wedges.

Oh, and as for thigh boots I don't own any and have never even tried them, but I thought these (from Wallis) this winter were absolutely gorgeous... unfortunately I couldn't stretch my budget to buy them, even when they were discounted.

Shoes are my favourites, with knee-high boots a very close second. What I don't like about my legs is that they're quite short, and while heels really help to elongate them and give a nicer proportion, mid-calf boots seem to have the opposite effect so I tend to prefer to hide those under trousers, or maybe wear with a long pencil skirt to get the look to work. Ankle-boots tend to work best for me under trousers too, though maybe I should try them with skinny jeans or leggings to see if I can find a way to make that work for me. I also tend to avoid really thin narrow heels as they tend to make my legs and the rest of my body look chunkier.