SleekHeels

Nice colorful shoes, but it seems inappropriate that you were secretively trying on someone else's shoes while at work

I agree, definitely rude to try them on, the only way I would ever have tried those shoes on is by asking the owner first. Having said that, I don't even think I'd ask anything more than "Lovely shoes, where did you get them?" or perhaps in my wildest dreams "Could we go shoe-shopping together so I can buy a pair?".

I think there are many steps from imagination to participation... from my childhood memories of imagining wearing heels and actually trying them on I can hardly separate the two, it's all a blur but it was initially triggered by seeing heels in a movie. Over the years it's mostly been imagining first and then turning that into reality, be it first time walking into the high-heel section of a store, first time buying heels for myself, first time walking outside in heels, or more recently trying on heels in store and heeling in public. I guess re-imagining the experiences can also be a trigger for imagining new ones too.

I agree that seeing a woman in a beautiful outfit and heels flicks a switch in me that says "wow she's gorgeous, but I'd also love to experience how that look feels on me". The most memorable is my pink slingbacks - one lunchtime I saw a woman in a grey trouser suit over a pink top with pink slingbacks and she looked so coordinated, smart and cute, I just had to search search the entire mall to track down those shoes and try to recreate that look and feel it.

Other big triggers have to be walking past a shoe store and gazing at the window display and seeing a pair of dream shoes that just draw me in like a magnet. Also hearing the sound of heels really stands out just like when you hear your name called out in a noisy room or like a dog that's just heard the word "biscuit".

I also remember the arrival of new catalogues, just like alan said straight to the shoe section. I'd play a game where I'd have to pick shoes I'd like to wear from each page, which was pretty easy in the glamorous heels section but pretty much impossible by the time I got to the frumpy sensible shoes section. Apparently some catalogues had a mens section too but I'd probably have fallen asleep if I ever looked at that.

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My thoughts exactly.

If heels are able to undermine your morals then heels are way too important in your life and you need to put things in perspective.

If you don't mind the buckle detailing the Harley Davidson Marissa isn't a million miles off, or the Calvin Klein Charlee avoids the buckles but has a slightly less chunky heel.

http://www.shoes.com/en-US/Product/04733-5149390/Harley+Davidson/Blk10Inches+Pla/Women%27s+Marissa.aspx

http://www.shoes.com/en-US/Product/EC1216733-5124226/Calvin+Klein/Black+Leather/Women%27s+Charlee.aspx

Both are a bit more expensive but are real leather and I expect you could polish them up nicely if you want more of a shine like the original tall boots (which are synthetic).

Otherwise maybe put the photo of the boots on your cell phone and hit the shoe stores to ask around.

Persephone, what a beautiful name, I'm sure you feel like a goddess in your heels. We look forward to reading your posts, enjoy the forum.

Sure high heels can be sexual, but they can also be stylish, elegant, confident, cute/pretty too. The thing is that sometimes sexuality is taken as some kind of moral depravity and high heels have been typecast as tarty/slutty, but hopefully society has moved on from that and now high heels can be worn as respectably (or disrespectably) as someone wants to behave wearing them. Fishnets used to carry the same prejudice but now they're a mainstream fashion item, and to an extent last year's fashion trends tried to do the same for thigh boots too. For me I'd say that wearing heels is an expression of a more sensual than sexual feeling, but each to their own.

The last time I was trying on in the store I overheard another customer who had found one shoe in her size but couldn't find the other one of the pair. The shop assistant had a look and I discretely had a look too just in case but I don't think it turned up in the end. I would have loved to have found the other shoe for her and handed it to her, while still trying on my high wedge sandals of course.

That sounds like a cautious but really enjoyable visit to the museum, and great that you have a supportive friend to share it with. When you're able to post photos we'd love to see what your wedge boots and sandals look like.

Well, it was kind of interesting in that it highlighted what other aspects of shoes (besides high heels) evoke gender bias... and a reminder that we should wear (and be free to wear) shoes because we like the style rather than what gender is printed on the box. And it does raise the question of: do unisex/ambiguous styles of shoes break down gender stereotypes or actually emphasise them more by polarising the extremes?

I've never been a fan of kitten heels... all the drawbacks of stilettos (like getting stuck in paving cracks) without any of the flattering effects of a higher heel, and also the deception of hearing that sound followed by the inevitable let-down of seeing the shoes. Heels are cute, flats are cute, even kittens are cute - but kitten heels, not for me.

The guitar sounds like a great find, and all the more fun in boots. Your post made me think that wearing heels in public or playing the guitar in public pretty much comes down to the same thing - there's nothing inherently wrong with one or the other, it's just confidence.

I'm glad to hear that your friend is cool about your boots/heels - that's a pretty cool friend. Those Kesha boots look great. I'm not usually a fan of cone heels but I think they really work with the rest of the boot and look really stylish. Enjoy wearing them. You seem pretty relaxed about going public with them, I wish I'd been so comfortable about that when I was your age. Good luck, do let us know how it goes. As for the tight strap, what are you wearing under the boots? A thinner pair of socks or even tights might make the boots more comfortable to wear if you've not tried that already.

I totally agree. It's just that sometimes we want to do things (like buying/trying heels) but we feel uncomfortable about doing them. It's Fred87's "So just do what makes you the most comfortable to get the heels you desire" and jwhite44's "take whatever approach you need to so you feel comfortable, and you're able to achieve your goal to buy yourself some shoes" which emphasises that we can do things that change how comfortable we feel.

Legs777777, it's a couple of weeks on from your original post, and it'd be interesting to know if you still want those red shoes, if you've been back to the store at all, if you're any closer to feeling more comfortable about buying them or not... only if you feel comfortable sharing that of course.

The day I had my first ever experience trying on in the store I must've gone to 5 or 6 different branches until I found a situation I felt comfortable enough to try them on. I don't think it magically gets easier after the first time, we just get better at doing all the right things to create good situations and take advantage of them when they come up.

What about these?

http://www.waltersteiger.com/gallery/woman/big/18.jpg

Similar, but quite different.

I dont like those at all. Asides from anything else, they look way worse for your feet than even classic stilettos.

I agree with dww, assuming the heel is much the same you could wear any of the three without any issues. Given the angles you've shown, my favourite would be the first ones based on the buckle styling and the shape of the toe. I find the second ones too plain, but they look much smaller/neater around the ankle (if worn with tights, leggings or skinny jeans). On that basis I'll hazard a guess that the third ones might be the mens despite the buckle, just because they have that clumsier male styling around the ankle.

I agree those wedge boots look great for inconspicuous heeling... even with the click it would take a bit of a heel connoiseur to detect those. I like the ruched style with the buckle detail of the flat Zinia boots, but of course they'd look better with a heel... perhaps something like their Kesha or Wondor boots when you feel ready to graduate from the wedge. Do you think your friends would be cool about it if they discovered what you're hiding under your trousers (I mean the boots of course) ?

Christine, we're so glad your avatar isn't your steel-toed boots Those red shoes look gorgeous, and must feel fabulous to wear on a sunny day.

Welcome Holly, high-heeled hugs are always welcome, and we look forward to your contributions too.

Thanks to all for the lovely comments.

Hi Your grey pair are stunning.

From your avatar I should've guessed you'd like the grey ones!

Nice shoes - like the others, Ithink I like the grey ones best. Where did you get them?

Both pairs were from New Look branches. The grey ones have disappeared from their website, but the product code is on the end of this old link if it'll help you track them down in a branch:

http://www.newlook.com/shop/womens/shoes/zip-platform-court_203455304

They came in black also, but I preferred the grey.

The slingbacks are still shown in sizes UK 6 and 7 on their website:

http://www.newlook.com/shop/womens/shoes/slingback-platform-heel_212715101

but larger sizes might still be in stock at some branches. They also came in blue, here's the old link:

http://www.newlook.com/shop/womens/shoes/slingback-platform-heel_212715140

Sometimes I'll wear my heels, look in the mirror and think I look ridiculous. It happens. I'll laugh and think "thank goodness I didn't go out looking like that" and try a different outfit/combination until I find something that works for me.

Perhaps many women get their fashion mistakes out of the way during their teenage years (with a bit of hit-and-miss advice from friends), whereas guys generally don't have the opportunity to develop their sense of style... particularly guys whose desire to wear heels is so strongly subdued and isolated by social preconceptions.

I guess what I'm trying to say is that sometimes we look ridiculous because we've chosen to wear something that looks ridiculous, while other times it's in the "eye of the beholder" (i.e. the social conditioning of the beholder). We sometimes even do the former deliberately in order to challenge the latter (like the trend for wearing odd socks).

And that leads to what I think is the root of the original question as to whether a guy wearing heels needs to incorporate other aspects of feminine appearance, or if he can incorporate heels into an emphatically masculine appearance. In terms of changing social attitudes I think both approaches can be done positively or negatively... so perhaps an underlying question is "Is the man look with heels more effective as a shock tactic or as a more subtle approach in changing social attitudes?".

You're not the only to go through cycles of fighting it and embracing it. Hopefully you've found the path of self-acceptance and self-respect. This forum's a great place to celebrate the passion for beautiful shoes. We look forward to hearing more about your boots and your adventures.

That made me think... I hope I am just rationalizing the price and not the boots. I agree, we could try to make some "checklist" of features of our ideal boots, but they need to have that indefinable magic to be "wow!". I think it's like that silly idea of designing your ideal woman/man on a computer - you'd end up with a hollow monster and it's so much better to meet a real person who surprises you in nicer ways than you could've imagined. Boots/shoes are a little bit like that I think.

That's a way bigger platform than anything I've ever tried, but assuming you can walk confidently in them (maybe it's easier than it looks, and definitely a lot of fun) they add a really great edge to a casual look.

Just my opinion, but I don't think that just because I love heels that heels worn by a woman automatically make her attractive... and by the same reasoning, just because I'm not attracted to guys that doesn't mean that a guy wearing heels automatically makes the heels unattractive. Shoes are shoes and people are people, and when the two come together I think the attraction is more about heels as part of an overall image and expression of character and personal style. Therefore I think yes, heels would still be just as attractive regardless of who is wearing them.

I couldn't pick out the "girliest" and I couldn't pick out the "manliest" either but here are the heels that make me feel the most glamorous and goddess-like: