Bubba136

I hate broccoli. My wife likes it. All three of my children like it. For the past 27 years, my wife has tried to convince me that I should like it. And, you'd think that after so many years, she'd get tired of trying to convince me to like it or I would become resentful at her constant insistence that I change my taste. She's aware of my dislikes. And, when she passes the plate of broccoli along with some kind of comment about how healthy it is, I just politely give her my well used, time tested, response (complete with a nice smile) -- no thank you -- and set the plate on the table. I believe, Susan, the same can be said about our awareness of your stand on men wearing high heels. Don't you think it's time to just say"no thank you" and pass the comment along? Put the shovel down. Quit digging that hole. The longer you hold the shovel, the deeper the hole gets. 90% of the people that post on this board deeply respect you for your religious and traditional values. You know I do. Why let those that don't share your views bother you? You have significant contributions to make to this board. Rather than reiterating your stand on men in heels, let's move on and give us the benefit of your vast experience with high heels?

Hey Susan! Chill-out!!!! I think there's a lot of "awe" in hoverfly's comment. I, for one, am impressed.

Nice shoes. Do you wear the same size shoes as your wife?

Maryanne said: "Recently I have felt that my contributions are not appreciated." I've not noticed any adverse reaction to your postings. In fact I really enjoy reading your opinions. I, for one, really wish you would reconsider your decision to leave.

Great going, Jeff. Keep it up and soon you'll get around to wearing red. Can't wait to hear the reaction to your red and white shoes. (although I think I remember Shock Queen wearing red patent babydoll pumps to work)

Although I've been with my wife when she's bought heels for me, I've never tried them on in the store. When she goes shopping, if she sees a pair she thinks I would like, she buys them for me. Problem is, her taste in shoes is completely different than mine and we usually wind up returning them. On a couple of occasions though, she's bought matching pairs and we've worn them out to dinner together.

Why didn't you hold up your foot, pull your pants cuffs up and show her your hose and high heels? I wonder what her reaction would have been then?

There are some nice shoes there but no stilettos with high heels. Why is it that sellers of large size shoes don't carry some of the more attractive styles that are availabie in smaller sizes -- like pumps, sandals and boots with stiletto heels higher than 3 inches? if I lived closer to the event, I would make a point to drop in and discuss this in person with Kenny.

Brown works just as well as black when they match the way you're dressed. I've never got much reaction from wearing my brown boots with 4½ blade heels with jeans or tan Dockers trousers.

Sue13 wrote: " I make my husband wear 5" stilletoes most of the time and he probably walks in them better than most women I know" You have to make your husband wear them? He doesn't like to wear them on his own?

I don't think Janise is going to get any answers or particular help with her personal dilemnas by visiting Jenny's site or any other special interest shoe sites. I'd hope the quickest way for her to forget her traumatic experience would be concentrate on other things and let time heal.

Firefox succinctly said it all. However, If Janise believes we can help, then all she needs to do is ask.

But then again...A misunderstanding some times stirs up a bee hive up in a good way

It can more often have the opposite effect....especially when one doesn't carefully analyze the cause before firing a full broadside in disagreement.

Thanks, Susan, for filling in the blanks. I was totally unaware that Janise had posted comments on this forum. Apparently, reading between the lines of what you said, she found the experience somewhat helpful. I sincerely hope she fully recovers from this unfortunate and life-altering occurrence. She is, indeed, very lucky to have you as a friend. And, as I said, I am sincere with my offer to help in anyway I can. If there’s anything I can do to reinforce your effort, please ask.

I’m sorry Laurie, but I believe you misunderstand my comment. I totally agree with you that we should give Janise all the help, assistance, support and comfort she wants of us. I was merely pointing out that, in her present frame of mind, and because we are total strangers – some of us being closely associated with what she views as the cause of here distress -- she might not be receptive to anything we have to offer right now. And, that all we (our community) can do right now is to let her know that we are here to help in anyway we can. All she has to do is approach us whenever she’s ready. As for her ever posting here again, I don’t recall her ever posting here. I became aware of her plight from a comment Susan made. I’m not sure Janise really knows we, or this forum, exists. That’s what I meant by us being total strangers and her not being a member of this community. Am I mistaken about this?

Laurie wrote: "we need a different approach in helping Janise get over what has happened. Let's not sit there and tell her not all men who wear heels are this way when all she knows is that a man in heels has hurt her. Let's heal the hurt first, then move on to change the perceptions." It would, indeed, be benevolent on our part to try to help Janise heal from the unfortunate trauma she experienced. After all, it is only natural for everyone here to want to surround her with a protective shield of love and care to relieve the pain and anguish she suffered and to show her that she is safe in our arms. However, several issues concerning our ability to aid and comfort her come immediately to mind. 1st is that Janise isn’t a member of our community. Her plight was initially brought to our attention by Susan (the original) to illustrate a point she was interested in projecting. Susan indicated that she was involved in helping Janise with her medical and emotional healing. And, at this juncture, I doubt Susan would consider it wise to introduce her into our community. 2ndly, as sincere as I know we are in our wishes to support, aid and comfort Janise, I sincerely doubt that she would be receptive to any assistance offered by anyone that is so closely identified with what she perceives to be the cause of her mistreatment. 3rdly, at this stage in her recovery, Janise really needs expert medical attention and qualified psychological treatment that can only be rendered by someone that has far more experience treating this type of trauma than I think anyone currently within our small community possesses. Lst's leave treatment to the those qualified to give it. When all is said, we can’t directly help Janise here. However, I genuinely hope Susan will continue to provide us with updates on Janise’s condition and progress. I also would like Susan to know I am, and I believe other members of this community also are, ready and willing to give any and all assistance we can whenever she asks.

Janise has my heart felt sympathy'. I am truly sorry that she was so severly harmed by this individual. This "entire episode" could and should be blamed on “a” psychologically unbalanced individual. What the guy did to Janise was wrong and he should be severely punished -- locked away in jail and the key thrown away. It’s barbaric when anyone is treated in this manner for any reason. It’s not my way, or the way of any other psychologically well balanced human being whether or not they engage in any form of “sexually deviant behavior". It’s my opinion that the court greatly erred and should have found this guy guilty of committing violent rape. However, since they obviously didn’t, Janise should have had a better lawyer. Because, her lawyer failed to convince the jury or liberal judge that “mental sickness” isn’t an excuse for his behavior. I still think it’s inappropriate to paint all men that wear high heels with the same brush -- as being violent and wishing to harm women that view men wearing heels as deviant sexual behavior. If the guy had been wearing any other items of women’s apparel -- stockings, panties and/or a dress-- would these items be blamed for the crime? Besides, if you’re going to produce a documentary of causes that trigger violent behavior, let’s include all causes – from putting onions in potato salad to extramarital affairs. Janise is extremely fortunate to have you as a friend. I cannot think of another individual as compassionate, caring or considerate as you. As to her physical appearance, there are, as you are well aware, individuals that can get beneath scars or disfiguration to the heart. And, as one of those guys that wear high heel, I’m proud to know you as a friend. As for the “element of hate and contempt present by others,” we can’t really do anything about that as long as the “element” of free speech is prevalent – because these forums accentuate anonymity – anyone can act in any manner or say anything they wish without being accountable and with the idea their true identities will never be discovered. I still don't understand what all this has to do with race!

Thanks! And, all the while I thought metal tip heel caps were replacements for rubber or plastic tips that are put on heels today.

Who cares what color you skin is? I don't. I really play hard-ball when it comes to shoes, though. I would more likely critize your taste in foot wear. (Gosh, those are the most awful looking heels I've ever seen

That?s a new one on me Bert! I'm white and have never owned any black underwear. Khaki is the only other color underwear I've ever had -- and it was issued when I was in the military. As far as black shoes go, I think it might have something to do with the tanning process and probably with making boots waterproof -- such as rubbing animal fat into the leather to keep moisture out.

Whew! I've read and re-read Janise's post and still can't figure it out. I associate "racist" with race - the color of a person?s skin or disrespect because of ethnic background. I can't imagine, regardless of how I look at it, associating a man wearing high heels as being "racist." What has that got to do with it? As for "what happened to you", I think you're connecting the dots out of sequence. The cause and effect really don't have anything to do with a man wearing high heels. The cause of that man mistreating you is far more complicated and goes much, much deeper, in my opinion, than your simplistic explanation. The fact that "unpleasent" things occurred to you or in your presence is unfortunate. However, to blame the entire episode on a "man wearing high heels" is really a stretch. I would think that if this incident has traumatized you to the degree it seems to have, I think you should seek professional help as quickly as possible.

Renee: About BZ Heels. BZ shows up in Jenny's chat room occasionally. And, he used to post quite regularly on Jenny's fourm. Haven't seen him lately, though. I know Debbie was trying to track him down to get steel tips for some of her shoes. I asked him to email her the next time I chatted with him. Not sure if they ever got together. Might ask her if she has his email address. Also, might email Phil (Pheels) or Jenny to see if they can't find his email address for you.

if I happen to seem him again, I'll ask him to post a comment here and you can get in touch with him, then.

P.S.: After I posted this message I did a quick search for BZ Heels using Copernic. I found the following:

?You may contact BZ Heels by clicking here to discuss adding his custom steel tips to new Classic Pumps or upgrading shoes you already own! "

his email address, according to the website is: bzenter@earthlink.net < bzenter@earthlink.net>

BZ's website URL is: http://www.classicpumps.com/bzheels2.htm

That's all I know about this subject!

That's not cheating. Besides, who cares. They're girls shoes, aren't they? That's the way it all begins. From Ann Taylor penny loafers with 2" heels on to Ankle Boots with 4½" blade heels. It is, as Jeff says, "one step at a time"

Perhaps Laurie is looking for a word to express the "unconventional" formulation of the subject of this forum?

Heike wears heels that are at least 7" high. However, she's bow-legged and really doesn't walk very gracefully. But, still worth the time to view.

Thanks, Phil! We really appreciate your effort. If we can help offset the expense, please let us know where to send the contributions.