JeffB Posted June 22, 2002 Share Posted June 22, 2002 Every day at lunchtime, a co-worker and I go on a one mile walk for exercise (and no, I don't wear heels!) and fresh air after being cooped up in the office. Well, a couple of days ago when we were on our way back to the office, we saw a flamboyantly dressed gay man cross the street. he had on a red t-shirt, a black vest, multi-colored floral pants and black, four inch spike heeled mules. He was as out of the closet as one could get. My walking buddy and I did double takes and snickered something fierce the rest of the way after seeing him, but later on, as I was putting my pumps back on at my desk, I couldn't help but wonder if I was perceived by other as being gay because I wear women's shoes? Grant you, I don't dress as flamboyant as that guy we saw. I'm low key, nice looking and tasteful in my dress. Still, despite all that, would I be incorrectly thought of as being gay because of the shoes I wear? I don't think so, but to most of society, the perception is there. What do you think, everybody? I don't want to LOOK like a woman, I just want to DRESS like a woman! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Beeblebrox Posted June 22, 2002 Share Posted June 22, 2002 Well, I just wonder if you asked him if he was gay, or how did you assume that he is gay? He might be just as straight as any of us. Anyhow, its interesting how we react to other people when they do or dress in a way which go against of what we think is "normal". I think its interesting because as you say, how does other people see us when we are walking around in our heels. Perhaps if we could understand this better, we might possibly find a way for accaptence. Not only us, but for all people who want to express them self as they like. I also wonder from time to time why conformity has such strong influnce on most people. Could it be because of the society who wants easy controlled humans. I dont say we are, but the question remains. Why is conformity such a strong force? Or can it be that most peolpe feel unsecure if they see anything they arent used to see. In that case, why do humans react in that manner? As always, the truth could be all of it together, or one or the other. Naturally could it be factors we dont know about yet. Do you have any thoughts of what can couse the conformity people and why they react as most of them do? Its also interesting to think of why we "read me" are worried about what other people think about a man wearing heels. I can only say that the more I wear heels out in the public, whith low heels visible or high heels covered, I tend to care less over time what people think. Perhaps its an effect of wearing heels frequently, and in that case it could be that people like me who "suffer" under conformity (if that whats it all are about), need many small steps at the time and a lot of practise. Well, this is just some small thoughts from me, and I feel that here is more to think and talk about. And this is just thoughts and we might discover what reality is as time flyes by. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Trolldeg Posted June 22, 2002 Share Posted June 22, 2002 A lot of people in my class thought I was gay when they first saw me, I have learned afterwards. But then, I dressed bit outrageously, besides the heels. I hope I have thaught them not to be so judgemental in the future. _________________ To defy the laws of tradition is a crusade only of the brave. <font size=-1>[ This Message was edited by: Trolldeg on 2002-06-25 10:04 ]</font> Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Laurieheels Posted June 23, 2002 Share Posted June 23, 2002 People conform because of fear. I won't go on a rant about the historical aspects of it. To be brief, if we look at religion and government, we find that a culture likes people to align towards a common theme. People who are different might go against the goal of that governing group, which then disrupts society. The fear is that non conformity will break down society and cause the laws society has in place for the good of the people to be ignored. It's about order vs chaos, really. And yes, a man wearing very feminine shoes is often associated with being gay. Why? Well, the shoes display feminine qualities, and gay people are viewed as effeminate. Thus, feminine shoes, feminine traits, and most likely, gay. It sucks and such attitudes must be destroyed. But they exist, so right now, while we fight them, we can either learn to live with them for the moment and change them as we go along, or worry and fret about it all day and night and let fear keep us from living our lives. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Firefox Posted June 23, 2002 Share Posted June 23, 2002 Change them as we go along is the best way. Even women with short hair and Doc martins can be derided for being butch so I think we owe it to ourselves to give everyone a chance and not let appearances colour our views of someone excessively. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nikk Posted July 2, 2002 Share Posted July 2, 2002 I'd guess that a lot of people have assumed I'm gay, especially when I venture out as my (probably not terribly convincing) female alter ego. It doesn't bother me in the least, but in fact I'm strictly hetero, so making assumptions based on someone's appearance can be very dangerous. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
stellah Posted July 10, 2002 Share Posted July 10, 2002 Yeah... sad but ture. This is our society - If you wear somethinf feminish, you become instantly a gay in their eyes... I bet they never think that there exists no "normal" person - one who has no desires for anything out of the ordinary... and they are surely the most normal and best person on the planet. Damn it! One of theose is my own father. Recently I informed him of my fetish and he thought instantly that I need medical attention! Well, I guess even worse things can happen when a old guy interests only in cars and has a really narrow mind... _______________ HH forever! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TXT-1 Posted July 11, 2002 Share Posted July 11, 2002 Stellah, as a 21 year old guy that is "car mad" and likes Likes stilettoes and platforms (some people here think platforms ARE out of fashion! ) I wish the rest of the world could beas open as some of the people (most?) on this board!, later TXT-1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
stellah Posted July 11, 2002 Share Posted July 11, 2002 Probably the salesmen in shoestores are one group of people acting more tolerantly... so I often go to the shops to enjoy nice footwear. Since they never have may size I have to satisfy with looking and touching them. I can only order footwear for myself abroad, but this is risky since I can't try them on. I hope one day I can walk in my favorite boots aong the street with my friends and everyone will enjoy looking at our footwear or not notice them at all. But definitely not look at us as weirdos :x _______________ HH forever! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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