micha Posted August 20, 2006 Posted August 20, 2006 But, I do want him to know I love and support him and accept all the facets of his personality...unless he tortures baby animals or something...that would be a problem. Did you ever believe that your friend is liking to torture baby animals Meanwhile I'm fed up with these silly imaginations. I'm a quite normal guy - a little bit crazy and gay. But I don't want to be put in the same pot with animal tormentors or pedophiles. And I'm convinced that your friend is thinking in the same way. With such suspicions you are insulting him. I'm sure that he will realize it by the time. That could be simply the end of your relation... The best fashion is your own fashion!
new_look Posted August 20, 2006 Posted August 20, 2006 micha i believe Ruby Slipper was saying she would be ok with the personality of heels and hose, and that wouldnt be a problem and that there was ONLY a problem of his personality IF he was torturing animals
johnieheel Posted August 21, 2006 Posted August 21, 2006 baby animals. and I hope he isn't making shoes from them unless they are cows. real men wear heels
Ruby Slipper Posted August 21, 2006 Author Posted August 21, 2006 Micha I think you misunderstood. I am fine with his heel and stocking thing...there could be a lot worse things he could be hidding from me...like killing baby animals which is an extreme. I was trying to say it would take a lot to make me not want to be with him or think he was freak. And who said anything about pedophiles? I never accused my Fella of having that issue. I dont have any issues with gay men or woman...really I'm not here to offend...just to learn new stuff, met new people and understand. There are so many different people in the world, I feel I would be missing out if I sheltered myself from what new experiences could offer. I'm pretty opened minded and I'm sorry if you were offended in any way. Thanks Dawn. It's funny you should mention the near future. He seems to have a lot on his mind lately so maybe you are right...maybe the bean spilling will happen soon. I almost just came out and said something this weekend but I dont think its a good time. There is something in the air and I think if I asked him about it, fuel would just be added to the fire. Everyone is great here!!
johnieheel Posted August 21, 2006 Posted August 21, 2006 Pray on it. I'll pray with you. real men wear heels
dr1819 Posted August 21, 2006 Posted August 21, 2006 I may be grasping at thin air, here, Ruby, but it really sounds like he's struggling with this, and is possibly contemplating telling you, but what's holding him back is that he thinks you might bolt. Guys are like that, and will torture themselves for months before telling a new love something that may not be well-received. Just tell him: Dear John: I love you and am committed to our relationship, so please don't freak out about the fact that I've known for quite some time about your enjoyment of heels and hose. I'm ok with that, really, and am learning more about it. I don't think you're weird, strange, or that it's somehow wrong. Unusual, yes, but not wrong. If you'd like to talk about it, I'm here for you. If you feel uncomfortable about it, that's fine too - just know that I love you. Love, Ruby PS: Let's go out tonight!
Shafted Posted August 21, 2006 Posted August 21, 2006 I agree 100% with the letter approach, dr1819. It allows him to stay in his comfort zone. Shafted, the boots that is! View my gallery here http://www.hhplace.o...afteds-gallery/ or view my heeling thread here http://www.hhplace.org/topic/3850-new-pair-of-boots-starts-me-serious-street-heeling/ - Pm me if you want fashion advice or just need someone to talk to.
Ruby Slipper Posted August 21, 2006 Author Posted August 21, 2006 Dr.1819 I really like your letter. Very straight to the point but sensitive. It's a hard decision. My insticts are screaming what you are saying with the whole he is struggling with telling me. How does a person know when its the right time to bring something like this up? What if I do it too soon and he freaks and runs? Do I wait until he is ready? What will that do to me? Ladies who have gone through this, any advice? Why cant men just talk? Especially with a person they know is 100% devoted and in love with them. Do you mind if I keep your letter? I think I could use it for support for myself. Maybe I should just take the plunge.
FreeMannWorld Posted August 22, 2006 Posted August 22, 2006 Well i thing THER is no right time for a good talk betvine 2 persones... 1 just need to open op for the bag... Sorry to sayed it but u ther have so much ind u head to thing about, Let it come out ind a good way now, rader ind a "NOW I CAN`T HANDEL IT ENY MORE I AM GONE FOR GOOD" ....Plzzz i not sayed it to head eny boutty.... But if u can´t talk about something like this ( YES it´s hard i no) u both can´t handel the futher he/you NEED to TALK sorry to say it..... Yes merby he will get mad but it will get good ind the end! We men are protreting over pride! we do not like to be called cissys just becruse we are drifent... ((( Frist i am not good to spell ))) ..........(((( Sorry for that ))))........ .......................(",)....................... http://s112.photobucket.com/albums/n161/FreeMannWorld/
dr1819 Posted August 22, 2006 Posted August 22, 2006 Dr.1819 I really like your letter. Very straight to the point but sensitive. It's a hard decision. My insticts are screaming what you are saying with the whole he is struggling with telling me. How does a person know when its the right time to bring something like this up? What if I do it too soon and he freaks and runs? Do I wait until he is ready? What will that do to me? Ladies who have gone through this, any advice? Why cant men just talk? Especially with a person they know is 100% devoted and in love with them. Do you mind if I keep your letter? I think I could use it for support for myself. Maybe I should just take the plunge. Thank you, Ruby. My example was intended to be short, simple, non-confrontational, supportive, kind, loving, sweet, to the point, and, at the end, deflective. Then again, I'm a lay marriage and family therapist with our church, so you'd expect nothing else? I think if you lay it out as stated, and he freaks and runs, then he's a few issues of his own to work out that you're not a part of now, nor were you a part of when they became issues, and that he should work those out. It would be time to wait. Not back off, just be supportive and give him room to adjust. As for men just talking, I'm a man, and I can talk. Then again, I'm 40+, and have unlearned old falsehoods so I can pretty much talk about anything. I would ask you this - why can't women talk? Just tell him that you know. That's talking, so talk to him. If he doesn't know where you're coming from, he'll conjure up all kinds of things. Neither men nor women live and love well in a vaccuum, so communication is critical. Keep it simple: "I love you. I am committed to you. I could care less what you like to wear, be it heels or hose. I love you. I am committed to you..." I'd like to say it takes a village, but he's beyond that, and like all young men, working through his own issues. Give him room, but give him hope, and given him a reason to stick around. Uncertainty isn't hope, so let him know.
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