genebujold Posted August 7, 2004 Share Posted August 7, 2004 This is but one of the things that happens when people are unable to respect their boundaries: It is very deep regret that I have deceided to remove my posts from the topic that I started due to comments that I have found rude and offensive from narrow minded people. It seems that I have inspired some much interest from these individuals who obvious have very little else in their lives and minds apart from picking on me. I have never and would never single someone out for them wanting to express themselves in their own style. I would like to wish all friends and the nice people on this board the best of luck but I shall not be returning. I would be grateful if all my posts could be removed from the forums. Vicki I'm not sure if this is related to the issue to guys posting in the "For the gals" area, but considering numerous intrustions over the last two weeks, I admonish you: Guys - Stop It. This is THEIR forum. Learn to respect it and given them their space. I, too, have learned from my mistakes, here, as have some of you. The rest of you have not, and continue flooding their space with numerous posts like a bunch of uncontrollable guys in the midst of the heat of passion. Stop! We have our own forum, as well as numerus other forums on which we can post. Use them. And give the women on this forum room to grow! *** In case you think this event is isolated, think again: Well, since it is time to go visit my mother, I am thinking of taking a bit of an internet vacation as well. I will admit, I am burned out. I have posted a lot and moderated here in the past year and a half, and I hope some of it has made a difference. But everyone take notice. From this point on, I am on vacation, and I have no idea when I'll be back. Or even if I'll be back. I'd hate to pull a Jenny, but, if it happens it happens. Time for this Goddess to go to sleep, be forgotten by mortals, hide on the mountain, and drift off into myth. Sincerely, Laurie Heels While I cannot speak for LaurieHeels, I can speak for my wife, who's monitored the progression of this board, and particularly this thread, and is quite intuitive on picking up emotional/relational subtleties that most people miss. In fact, I often invite her to participate in my counseling sessions because of her gifts. She says the board's female side is dying because it's being choked by innumeralble male posts. I agree. Guys, Stop! If you can't, you may very well drive off perhaps half of the most important part of what this board is all about. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Becky Posted August 7, 2004 Share Posted August 7, 2004 Gene - you are doing exactly what you want the guys to stop doing...................YOU ARE POSTING IN THE GALS SECTION you idiot!!!! Why don't you post in the "announcements" area or "for everyone" area - you had to post here didn't you I thought you said a few weeks back that you were leaving the forum - or was that statement as empty as your head? Most of you guys make me laugh.........you parade around in womens shoes and other attire, then you come here and justify your actions amongst yourselves so that you don't feel too weird or guilty, then you ask us girls if you like guys wearing heels and stuff!! Well the answer is NO - we like men to be men and any woman that tells you otherwise is a CD/TV/TS or one of you sad men masquerading as a woman. This forum is spiralling down hill fast and I can't see a way for anyone to stop this problem. Most of the guys have no respect - is it any wonder you can count the "real" women who post here on one hand. So many shoes & boots to buy in so little time!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dr. Shoe Posted August 8, 2004 Share Posted August 8, 2004 I think that the reason genebujold posted his message here is because this is probably the only way he can reach the people he's talking to. Some of the worst offenders may only look at this forum. I tried to put a reply to one of the threads here in the "for the guys forum" but no-one replied to it but continued posting here. If these offenders aren't reading the Guy's forum, what makes you think they'd read the general announcements one? It is a shame to see a board like this in crisis because the ladies who post(ed) here were the voices of reason among a majority of selfish posters who cannot tell the difference between a compliment and ridicule and are so puffed up with thier own self importance that they don't realise they are hurting the very people that are trying to support them. That's the trouble when a group like this gets so large, it gets impersonal. Most of the originals and moderators I know personally and have met them on the various heelmeets and I can truthfully say that at first this was a genuinely friendly site but over the last few months it has become populated by faceless trolls who's only aim in life is to cause the maximum of dissention they possibly can. Here's the question girls, are you going to let these assholes run your life for you and let them make the decision as to which board you post on, or are you going to stay and let them know what you think of them? There have been people who have meant well but have said things that are slightly controversial but this has been whipped up by trolls who have deliberately exploited this just to cause as much ill-feeling as possible. I echo genebujold's comment: leave the girls in peace, reply to the posts perhaps, but only in support not in confrontation. Graduate footwear designer able to advise and assist on modification and shoe making projects. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HighBoots Posted August 8, 2004 Share Posted August 8, 2004 Anger often shows the true side of people. Becky just shown us that she's totally intolerant and close minded. Honestly, if people like her, be they male or female, quit a forum I'm reading, I won't miss them. Now about the problem of guys posting on the gal forum ... two points : 1) some people are just too stupid to understand when to stop. That's true outside of the net, and even more true on the internet where everyone is anonymous. 2) many gals used to post on the guy's forum before, and they were always welcome. I never seen a guy tell them to shut up and go post on their own forum ... I followed some of the "intrusions", even though I never posted on the gal forum before, and this will also be my first and last post here. The main problem was not guys posting here, but guys ruining good threads with stupid "epeen" contests. I think some guys acted like morons, but also some gals overreacted in answer to this, making things even worse, instead of reporting the problem to a moderator to put the offenders back into the right way. A good example of overreaction is Becky's post above. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DandyDude Posted August 8, 2004 Share Posted August 8, 2004 This is but one of the things that happens when people are unable to respect their boundaries: I'm not sure if this is related to the issue to guys posting in the "For the gals" area, but considering numerous intrustions over the last two weeks, I admonish you: Guys - Stop It. This is THEIR forum. Learn to respect it and given them their space. I, too, have learned from my mistakes, here, as have some of you. The rest of you have not, and continue flooding their space with numerous posts like a bunch of uncontrollable guys in the midst of the heat of passion. Stop! We have our own forum, as well as numerus other forums on which we can post. Use them. And give the women on this forum room to grow! *** In case you think this event is isolated, think again: While I cannot speak for LaurieHeels, I can speak for my wife, who's monitored the progression of this board, and particularly this thread, and is quite intuitive on picking up emotional/relational subtleties that most people miss. In fact, I often invite her to participate in my counseling sessions because of her gifts. She says the board's female side is dying because it's being choked by innumeralble male posts. I agree. Guys, Stop! If you can't, you may very well drive off perhaps half of the most important part of what this board is all about. Where to begin... I have stayed away from these boards for awhile for various reasons. One of them is the controversy about men posting on the women's forum. On the earlier, longer, thread about this topic, I posted that the functions of these boards are different for men than for women and that needs to be understood. For a short recap, while men, except for several including myself who wear heels as a part of an outfit and are secure, use these forums as more of a support group in various forms, the women here use the forums as a coffee clatch type of thing. Since women are expected to wear heels, they don't have the issues that all heel wearing men have to deal with, such as fag-baiting and general hassles in varying amounts. The women tend to use these boards the same way they would use those fashion boards that certain posters from here have gone to and stirred shit by attacking the posters there, as informal versions of women's clubs. Men here tend to be in several different groups with some overlapping here and there. You have those such as myself who wear heels as a style and are not trying to pass as a woman, apparently a distinct minority here especially recently. You have those who have a guilt complex over even liking heels let alone wearing them, these boards are therapy for them. There are those who just like to see women in heels, them I think would be served better by the vanity sites that get promoted here every once in awhile. Lastly, you have the element that has grown recently here, the drag crowd. Speaking of drag, I recall the real problems with posting started because the influx of them taking over the women's forum. The last few times I posted in this forum to ask the women a question, BECAUSE I WAS INTERESTED IN HEARING WHAT THEY SAID, each and every time, the thread was taken over by the drag crowd. Yes, the problems were started because the drag crowd, who I try to avoid at every opportunity, took over the women's forum. That was why they were given their own, so they wouldn't continue to dominate the women's forum, which didn't work. It's all in the older threads. Now to the women: I recall Becky picking an argument with me over something I said that she didn't understand. Well, now I'm going to pick it up again because of her asinine statements regarding men in heels. No Becks, not all men who wear heels are drags of some sort. Women such as you contribute to the problem by placing limitations on what men can and cannot do. A man is a man no matter what he wears, and a woman is a woman no matter what she wears. The determinants of a person's sex, not "gender"(death to pomo/Derrida/Heidegger)are not their clothing, not their thoughts, not the psychobabble of Fraudian drug-pushers, not the actions of groups of sawboneses in Colorado and Singapore, but a person's chromosomes. I know of quite a few women who actually like men in heels. Interestingly enough, they are the type of women who would have fit in here the most. By that I mean they are sort of 1950s retro in terms of attire, but have various other elements mixed in as well. I know one who is a Lili St.Cyr fanatic who also likes leather, another who is sort of post-goth crossed with Bettie. I also know a redhead who swears by Diana Rigg as a role model, along with Chanel suits. As for me, I wear heels along with makeup, nail polish, and I do interesting things with my hair. At no time do I try and fool myself or others into thinking I am female. Those women all told me they would not post here. They did say they liked reading the vintage, ultra, and story forums, as well as the pictures. You complain about this and that. Well, you help to promulgate the idea that any man who wears heels is a drag of some sort. You make things worse. If you are going to complain, at least have something other than generalities to base your complaints on. I, unlike most here, do not "play nice" to get female attention. I enjoy reading the posts from the various women, including several now departed, but do not intend to take a lot of crap. If those on these boards wish to retain women by begging, then so be it. I came here originally for two reasons: One, to converse with other men who wear heels and two, to converse with women who wear them. I did not come here to be insulted by an ignorant person who buys into the Fraudian dope-pushers line that a man who wears heels wants to be a woman. Excuse the long post, but I'm letting things out I've kept bottled up. The solution is not segregating the forums, but encouraging the women to post more and not letting certain elements take over as they did before. Gene, one of the women I mention above saw your post and she told me that she would be very afraid of you because you are grovelling. And yes, Vicki was unjustifiably insulted. "To kiss, pretty Saki, thy shoes' pretty tips, is better than kissing another girl's lips." -Omar Khayyam Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
new_look Posted August 8, 2004 Share Posted August 8, 2004 dandydude i read your post and i think you made a good job of summing up how my impression of all this was. As for Becky, it appears that she simply looks here to pick an argument with people, sporting facts and rules that she evidently knows nothing about, and adds a lot of insulting comments which to lots of people are a good knife in the back. I would certainly not be grovelling to such a person as you to stay here. I do hope the moderators have something to say about what was posted above. How can anyone have the cheek to post that heelwearing men are TV/CD and not real men, on a site that plays a big part in promoting the normality of men wearing heels as a fashion for men. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Becky Posted August 8, 2004 Share Posted August 8, 2004 Here we go again..............open the door and leave the self opinionated young up start "Daz" come in and have her bitch then watch as she minces back out. Put your specs on Daz - I've made no comment that heel wearing men are TV's / CD's. I commented that girls like men to be men (i.e. not wearing heels or other female attire). Look before you leap little boy!! As you so rightly point out Daz, this site is to promote the normality of heel wearing men, therefore the implication of this means that it is not normal for men to wear heels. If it were normal for men to wear heels then this site may not exist. So by your own admission, you are implicating that you are abnormal and are mearly here to justify you abnormal actions by conversing with like minded men. So many shoes & boots to buy in so little time!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Firefox Posted August 8, 2004 Share Posted August 8, 2004 Let's review the actual guidelines of this forum. This forum is for female fashion topics. There's no ban on guys or anyone else posting here, but can you make it about female fashion topics please as in the forum header guidlines. I'm not too fussed myself, but it pisses many other people off if you transgress this guideline, which was introduced in the interests of member's wishes and general harmony. This thread is not a female fashion topic. It was meant in good faith, no doubt, but has served to reopen conflicts, so if we stick to female fashion topics in this forum, it will cause less distress. I'm fed up of conflict because instead of reading about shoes, I have to deal with people's "issues" and I do prefer reading about shoes than dealing with issues. Yes, amazing, but true Secondly, the board guideline's state it is not permissble to abuse other members of the board, so why do people think they have the right all of a sudden to call someone an idiot or similar. Please think about the board rules before you post. I know people get fed up, and that is understandable in the light of recent events, but if you post something in the heat of the moment, can you edit it next time please. Do I really have to keep spelling this out? Next time I'll probably just delete the user concerned. I'm getting bored of telling you. I'm going to lock this thread now, and I hope any new threads or replies posted here will be about female fashion topics. If you would like to dispute that, or offer some advice, or start an argument or discuss the format of the board, or spill your heart, please send me a private message or post in the rant/community forums etc. Thanks Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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