Advice on Heel Wearing

[sscotty727]

All, Although still kinda taking a break, I am "sorta" back and would like to pass on a few things that I think would help others avoid some of the problems/issues I have encountered. I think there have been several things going on with me and my relationship going on with my wife and I think it is important to share some of this with you all to perhaps help you with your mates. First of all, my daily wearing of chunky heels I don't think she has a major problem wtih as long as I keep it descrete by wearing non-obvious heels and long pants. Where I think I started making her feel uncomfortable is when I have been recently "pushing" the limit, wearing pumps (courts) and my new chunky pumps in public. The main one that set it off was my suggestion I wear the chunky pumps to the store the other night to go shopping. I never stopped to realize maybe I was pushing her too far too fast. I have agreed to stick to wearing only chunky heels in public and descretely and she seems to be ok with that. The other "part" of the equation is what I wear around the house. For the last 3 years I have been "living" in a hotel room during the week and wore my pumps when in the hotel room (even to sleep in). Well I am not back home and not living in a hotel room. Since I had gotten very use to wearing heels, I started wearing them around the house and in bed. I think this made her VERY uncomfortable and also raised concerns about what if our daughters got up and saw me in pumps. Chunky heels is one thing, pumps is another. So I again agreed to not wear pumps casually around the house. I think when I am alone (in the car, if they are gone, etc) I am probably ok with it, she just worries about others seeing me in them. Again, I have to respect her feelings in this. The last part deals more with intimacy. Pumps turn me on sexually, I am sure alot of guys (maybe women) feel the same. My wife tends to be more on the quiet side where I am more agressive. So, for YEARS now, I have been wearing my heels and asking her to wear heels during sex. She has always said yes. Well, after talking with her and LISTENING to hear, I realized that she isn't as turned on by heels as I am, especially when I am wearing them. I am sure it probably makes her feel like she is with someone gay or a woman. So once again, we agreed we would limit the heel wearing during sex to "occasionally" vs "always". I think these things will make her feel ALOT more comfortable with things and make us both happier. Guys, I encourage you to make sure you consult your "significant others" feelings and even if you get a quiet "its ok" make sure they are REALLY ok with things. As Gene pointed out, it is VERY important you respect their feelings in this whole matter and not get so wrapped up in your own. I will probably post here now and then, BUT, I need to be more careful in not getting caught up with the "hey, guess what I did" where I keep pushing further and further just so I can come here and post "I DID IT". I think that is what lead me down that path. Thanks for listening, I hope all this helps others. Scotty

[Rockpup]

I can understand, my partner is not a fan of high heels, but lets me indulge. I have to remember to balance out the fetish play with non heeled gear. (yes, alot kinkier things have happened then ballet boots) As far as street heeling, I do not think he would be comfortable at all, so I have not brought up the subject. As far as wearing them around the house, he's not home 1/3 nights since he works 24 hour shifts at the fire department. Although most of the time I wear my boots while playing PS2 while he's on the computer *shrug*. I respect that not all my interests are his, and not all his interests are mine. He is more important to me then any fetish gear. I do not believe that my heels have yet to cause a problem, but other stress's have been around recently and I do not want to cause any problems to arise. Good luck, love your wife and family first, they are the priority. Jim

[shyguy]

Good advice, and good on you for listening AND hearing your wife.

[asdf174]

Yes. If I findsome I will remember that.

[larry]

Here we go. I agree about the high heels and I feel sexy when I wear them. I, like so many of you, Always wear then during sex and my wife understands. She really appreciates the fact that me, wearing hose and stilletos gets me in the mood for our encounters and most times, She wears stockings and stilletos too. Sometimes she really gets into it, but it's not that often. I never pushed the issue and we have evolved. Not long ago, I was checking out high heel shoe stores on the net and my wife actually encouraged me to buy another pair of 5" stilletos. It was wonderfull. Later she said that red patent shoes usually go best with lighter colored nylons than i'm used to wearing. I was overwhelmed with the whole thing. I know where your coming from. I dont want to get into the game of oneupmanship either. Wearing stilletos and stockings out doors would blow my mind! But it's never going to happen. I respect my wifes limits and appreciate her understanding...Sincerely...Larry.

[Firefox]

I don't think you should let shoes or any other small thing like that take over your life. It's not good for you and it's not good for your realtionships with other people. You may have noticed that sometimes I post here a lot, and sometimes hardly at all. That's because I deliberately take a break doing other things. I mean, I still wear heels to work or out and round and about, but I treat them as footwear and not some big deal. If heels are your regular footwear you have to do that to preserve your sanity.

[Dawn HH]

Fellows:-) I agree 100% with all that you have said previously---but the one thing you should put first---is the little woman in your life. Compromise is a good tool for both sides. Cheers--- Dawn HH

[genebujold]

Scotty, I'm downright happy things between you and your S.O. have worked themselves out. Kudos to you for your being willing to understand her side of the issue. It's what really separates the men from the boys (and not the price of their toys).

Thanks for the nod, but I'm going to have to pass any credit for my own comments on to my own S.O., who's stuck with me through thick (headedness - on my part) and thin. I only learned to listen to her when I finally realized not doing so meant loosing her. Even so, when it comes to the art of love, I am but a grasshopper...