Heels and Relstionships

[asdf174]

How many men out their have GF or have a wife that supports you wearing high heels? I only ask becasue I was thinking about how I never have had a gf. Kind of starting to wonder if I ever will. Esp. with this new found acceptecnce I have of me buying and wearing heels.

[hhpumps]

my s/o really does not say anything. although she thinks i have too many. however, when i buy a pair, i make i buy her a pair also. there is nothing wrong with wearing high heels. like they say - "WHY SHOULD WOMEN HAVE ALL THE FUN!!!"

[Heelfan]

Hello asd! I would have thought that if you pause to read through ALL the threads that have mounted up in "For The Guys" and in "For Everybody", the scores of interesting and worthwhile postings on that subject (girlfriends and wives' reactions to guys heels) should more than adequately answer your question. Cheerfully yours, Heelfan

[new_look]

but for the record most of our partners are fine with it. This is a great boost to heeling, when you can go out with your female partner. I think i mentioned this before. basically it quadruples my confidence cos 1. people rule out the possibility of me been gay cos im with my gf 2. people see she can accept it, so why shouldnt they too

[Dawn HH]

Asdf174:-) This has been posted somewhere before, but I'll repeat it once again. Mickey68 goes along with my wearing heels and we street-heel together. I'm careful not to embarrass her in any way as she doesn't want that and neither do I. She also goes along with my crossdressing and we purchase shoes and boots, as well as other items that Dawn may need, together and have fun doing it. On occassion we both swap dresses, blouses, skirts, jewelry, and make-up, as we both take the same size. Cheers--- Dawn HH

[SkyScraper]

My gf is fine with me wearing them around the house, but she doesn't want me to wear them outside, which is a pity... Best wishes, hhs

[Dawn HH]

High Heeled Sub:-) You should show her some of the postings here on the High Heel Forum which may change her mind on men wearing heels in public. At least it might make her think about the subject which may make her decide later that it isn't so unusual to see that men DO indeed wear high heels outside of the house. It could be a start of her changing her mind. Cheers--- Dawn HH

[asdf174]

Thats cool. Your all so lucky to have partners that at least support you wearing heels around the house. Hopefully my future gf will be that supportive.

[Dawn HH]

Asdf174:-) You are young yet and sooner or later you will find someone who will want to share your life style and wearing heels is certainy a part of it. I dated girls until I was 33 years old before I met Mickey 68, got married and settled down. You have got plenty of time yet. I was 33 and mickey was 26 when we joined our lives together, and we just celebrated our 36th anniversary recently. You will know when you have met the right one and WHAM---this is her---this is my soul mate. Hang in there, your future may be bighter than you think. Cheers--- Dawn HH

[shyguy]

I started late too DawnHH I was 28 when I settled down, and had been through the "why haven't I got a girlfriend " Thing. When the right lady happens to come by you will know Asdf, till then enjoy life, and don't waste time worrying about it. When you stop looking love will find you.

[Dawn HH]

Asdf174:-) I quite agree with what Shyguy says. Just about the time you give up---Cupid will put his arrow into your butt and you will end up saying, "Where have you been all of my life"? Cheers--- Dawn HH

[dressboots]

I got married at 34. After several "dud's" (all different reasons) I too sometimes wondered if I would ever meet a women that we would mutally want to make a commitment to one another. Been 14+ great years and many more to come. Really, when it comes down to it, if a person is worth anything, something like wearing heels should not stand in the way of a meaningful relationship. I told my girl friend about my heels well before proposing to be sure anything that might give her second thoughts was out on the table. It was a chance, yes, but I was certain of her acceptance. I date some women that I think it would have ended the realtionship then and there but those relationships did not fruit anyway. I belive she thought I was street heeler when I told her so feel with a gradual approach it is possible to go beyond our house. It took her a little getting used to but she is fine with it now - in private. If you already are heeling publicly then you do not have to worry about that.

[dressboots]

I saw a typo (among many) in my last post. It is suppose to read "dated" past tense. I do not date anyone but my wife, now. We are totally committed to one another, no question.

[asdf174]

Thanx for teh support Dawn HH, Shyguy, and Dressboots. Its hard but I'm tryign not to worry about it and let the whole not haveing a gf thing bug me. And have been trying to concentrate on improveing myself and my hobbies a tad bit more. I've been trying to get out more as well. I think my main problem is I'm just really shy to be honest. I can't say anything when I meet someone.

[Dawn HH]

Dressboots:-) I was engaged to a girl before I met Mickey68 for a year and a half. I truly thought she was THE one until I put an engagement ring on her finger. Then Satan came out of her. Just in the snap of a finger she did a complete flip-flop doing a complete 180°. Being sensible as I am, I gave her 6 mo. to straighten out after a lengthy talk. If everything was back as before the ring incident, then we would plan our wedding and our future together. If not--the engagement would be permanently off. During that 6 mo. period, she kept getting progressively worse. She wanted to say "jump" and I was supposed to reply, "how high". Well, I'm not that kind of a person and certainly not a push-over so at the end of the 6 mo. period, I broke off the engagement. I had been "dumped" many times through the years, but this was the only girl that I had ever "dumped". In her next breath she said that she would keep the engagement ring and I told her to go ahead and keep it. Her next statement was that she wanted the wedding band also and I said Un-uh, no way, as we didn't get that far and I was keeping that ring. To soothe my hurt feelings, I went out and bought myself a Corvette as I had always wanted one and I didn't date for several months after that. Women go out shopping, I bought a Corvette. Then, I was invited to my friends wedding and you guessed it, there was this cute little strawberry blonde bridesmaid---Mickey68. After dating her for only 6 weeks, I ask her to marry me and she eventually said yes and we went looking for a ring set for which I used the wedding band as a down payment and I made sure Mickey's ring set was of much more value and much better quality than the first set so there would not be any reprocussions in the future and that is how things worked out. I knew that Mickey was my sole-mate and I wasn't about to let her get away. End of story. Things have a mysterious way of working out in the end. Asdf174:-) Don't worry about being shy, just be your genuine self, date a lot of girls and go out with them for the joy of being and doing things with them, and have fun. From the time of my first date until Mickey and I got married, I constantly had a girl-friend. If something happened and I got dumped, I would have a new girl the next day. Play the field, have fun, and one day, WHAM---an arrow in the butt. Enjoy your life. Cheers--- Dawn HH

[Dawn HH]

Dressboots:-) I was engaged to a girl before I met Mickey68 for a year and a half. I truly thought she was THE one until I put an engagement ring on her finger. Then Satan came out of her. Just in the snap of a finger she did a complete flip-flop doing a complete 180°. Being sensible as I am, I gave her 6 mo. to straighten out after a lengthy talk. If everything was back as before the ring incident, then we would plan our wedding and our future together. If not--the engagement would be permanently off. During that 6 mo. period, she kept getting progressively worse. She wanted to say "jump" and I was supposed to reply, "how high". Well, I'm not that kind of a person and certainly not a push-over so at the end of the 6 mo. period, I broke off the engagement. I had been "dumped" many times through the years, but this was the only girl that I had ever "dumped". In her next breath she said that she would keep the engagement ring and I told her to go ahead and keep it. Her next statement was that she wanted the wedding band also and I said Un-uh, no way, as we didn't get that far and I was keeping that ring. To soothe my hurt feelings, I went out and bought myself a Corvette as I had always wanted one and I didn't date for several months after that. Women go out shopping, I bought a Corvette. Then, I was invited to my friends wedding and you guessed it, there was this cute little strawberry blonde bridesmaid---Mickey68. After dating her for only 6 weeks, I ask her to marry me and she eventually said yes and we went looking for a ring set for which I used the wedding band as a down payment and I made sure Mickey's ring set was of much more value and much better quality than the first set so there would not be any reprocussions in the future and that is how things worked out. I knew that Mickey was my sole-mate and I wasn't about to let her get away. End of story. Things have a mysterious way of working out in the end. Asdf174:-) Don't worry about being shy, just be your genuine self, date a lot of girls and go out with them for the joy of being and doing things with them, and have fun. From the time of my first date until Mickey and I got married, I constantly had a girl-friend. If something happened and I got dumped, I would have a new girl the next day. Play the field, have fun, and one day, WHAM---an arrow in the butt. Enjoy your life. Cheers--- Dawn HH

[genebujold]

Dressboots:-)

I was engaged to a girl before I met Mickey68 for a year and a half. I truly thought she was THE one until I put an engagement ring on her finger. Then Satan came out of her. Just in the snap of a finger she did a complete flip-flop doing a complete 180°. Being sensible as I am, I gave her 6 mo. to straighten out after a lengthy talk. If everything was back as before the ring incident, then we would plan our wedding and our future together. If not--the engagement would be permanently off. During that 6 mo. period, she kept getting progressively worse. She wanted to say "jump" and I was supposed to reply, "how high". Well, I'm not that kind of a person and certainly not a push-over so at the end of the 6 mo. period, I broke off the engagement. I had been "dumped" many times through the years, but this was the only girl that I had ever "dumped". In her next breath she said that she would keep the engagement ring and I told her to go ahead and keep it. Her next statement was that she wanted the wedding band also and I said Un-uh, no way, as we didn't get that far and I was keeping that ring. To soothe my hurt feelings, I went out and bought myself a Corvette as I had always wanted one and I didn't date for several months after that. Women go out shopping, I bought a Corvette.

Then, I was invited to my friends wedding and you guessed it, there was this cute little strawberry blonde bridesmaid---Mickey68. After dating her for only 6 weeks, I ask her to marry me and she eventually said yes and we went looking for a ring set for which I used the wedding band as a down payment and I made sure Mickey's ring set was of much more value and much better quality than the first set so there would not be any reprocussions in the future and that is how things worked out. I knew that Mickey was my sole-mate and I wasn't about to let her get away. End of story. Things have a mysterious way of working out in the end.

Asdf174:-)

Don't worry about being shy, just be your genuine self, date a lot of girls and go out with them for the joy of being and doing things with them, and have fun. From the time of my first date until Mickey and I got married, I constantly had a girl-friend. If something happened and I got dumped, I would have a new girl the next day. Play the field, have fun, and one day, WHAM---an arrow in the butt. Enjoy your life. Cheers---

Dawn HH

Wow, Dawn HH, that's cool!

I had a nearly identical event, albeit it only lasted three months, at which time I took her engagement ring in for cleaning (really! And resizing, too, at her request). When it took more tha a week, she got "suspicious," broke it off, then, three weeks later, wanted her engagement ring back, to which I replied, "what engagement? Are we still engaged? No? Then I'll talk to you, but unless the engagement's on, the ring is no longer yours.

Fortunately, she had enough integrity to refrain from tricking me out of the ring, even though with my heart in the condition it was, it would have been easy for her to do so.

Six months later she was still way ticked, her dad wanted to shoot me (even though her daughter clearly broke off the engagement against my own wishes, and at the expense of a $400+ airplane ticket to meet my folks), and I had the ring.

Engagement rings aren't gifts - they're promises. No reciprocation? No ring! Most jewelers even ofter money back if the proposal is refused. Accepting an engagement ring, then saying, "it's off, the ring's not" is, well, stealing. The ring was never intended for wear as simple jewelry, but acceptance was a symbol of accepting the marriage proposal, while a return or refusal of the ring was the answer, "no."

I haven't a clue as to who/what/when/where/why/how this time-honored tradition throughout many hundreds of countries throughout the world (although some use cows, or goats, instead of rings), was distorted, but I strongly believe it was here in S.W. USA, in the land of "me-me-me-me-me" (L.A.). Don't know if it comes from Daddy having too much money, or not setting aside enough time with the family to teach his daughters the difference between right and wrong (or just being absent due to the 68% divorce rate).

Regardless, it's an issue that needs to be addressed.

Historically, the ring is NOT yours, and never is! UNLESS you're his (and he is yours). That's the tradition.

And I've know women who were married more than 20 years who, upon divorcing their husbands (usually for marital unfaithfulness on his part), left both their engagement and wedding bands on the nightstand as they left.

Why? Because they understand the tradition. They comprehend the symbology.

Believe it or not, that symbology is powerful.

A few of those men repented, turned from the errors of their ways, and are reunited with their wives, who were able to forgive their repentant husbands, and gladly resumed wearing their bands.

That doesn't mean there wasn't a lot of healing, and growing that needed to happen - there was. And it took time. Lots of it, with fits and starts months before things arrived at any semblance of an even keel.

And some of the marriages never recovered, the hardness of hearts being a fickle thing to overcome.

My point is that some of the most tried and true foundations of our societal existance are engraved upon martial rituals. And when those rituals are violated by those who've never been taught the difference between right and wrong, a lot of unnecessary hurt usually ensues.

The only mistake I ever made was in not finding a pawn shop to salvage my first engagement band / wedding wring set. Instead, I used it for my current wife a few years later, and when she found out, I lost bigtime brownie points for recycling a ring - I'm being vulnerable, here, so please learn the lesson.... I've since traded up on a wedding set of her choice, which turned out to be quite reasonable in price (only a few thousand dollars - my wife has modest tastes, thank God), so we're all back to being happy.

Bottom line - there are many people out there who're not only willing to love you for who you are, but who're willing to accept you for who you are - provided you accept them for who they are, as well.

Some would argue it takes a lot to make a relationship work. I would argue it takes just three things:

1. Both people must be willing to (and do!) consider the interests of the other as better than their own.

2. Both people must accept (and do!) that love isn't a feeling, but rather, an action of sacrifice for the betterment of the other.

3. Both people must (and do) turn their hearts to God, without whom no one has hope of complete heart/mind/soul/strength fulfillment here on this Earth, or the hereafter. I've met many happy non-Christian couples, but few who had any hope for tomorrow, as the vast majority were living for today. And what happens when today becomes tomorrow in their lives?

Who knows.

I agree the vast majority of you might find my third point to be quite contencious. Nevertheless, it's a theme repeated throughout the world's religions, not to mention numerous self-help groups including AA and those who help drug addicts.

Does that mean only the dregs of society need God?

By no means! God came for us all! It's just that those among the dregs are the more likely to turn to God for help. The rest will be in for a big surprise.

If you're at all human, you need God. And if you don't believe in God, it doesn't matter - he still believes in you.

I can't begin to tell you how happy I've been here on this board. The comraderie with respect to one of my interests has been spectacular. Like all such forums, however, I felt like something was missing. Although I hope I have not offended anyone, I'm sure I have, as someone is always offended when you mention the love of Jesus Christ.

Consider me - please - consider me. I'm a heel-wearer too. Do I judge you? By no means!

Neither does Christ: "As for the person who hears my words but does not keep them, I do not judge him. For I did not come to judge the world, but to save it." - John 12:47.

Please keep this in mind while reading my words, for I, as one of you, do not judge you either.

I wear heels. I wear skirts! Jesus Christ wore tunics, and robes.

The fashion of a societal age should never dictate morality.

Men wore heels between 1500's and 1800s, more than 300 years, before a snafu in societal heirarchy snuffed it out.

Men wore skirts between, oh, somewhere between 50,000 BC and 1500 AD, so what's the big deal? And in many countries, skirt wear persisted well into the 19th century.

I would HATE to think it was the "Christian Right" that mandated pant wear for men in this century alone when skirt wear was the norm, not only in Biblical times (they did not practice bifurcated clothing), but throughout all of history, until the 19th Century, when "tights" grew in thickness to become "pants."

Even the likes of George Washington, Thomas Jefferson, Abraham Lincoln, and others wore little more than "capris" pants, high socks, and long waist-coats (essentially mid-thigh dress-shirts).

Styles CHANGE, folks!

But the heart of a man hasn't changed for thousands of years.

We still want freedom. We still want love. We still wish to rule - but will serve as required to get ahead. Such is the nature of the society in which we live.

And it's ok.

I don't know what to impart to you, my friends, my online family. Press on. Seek the desires of your heart. Love one another deeply.

Au Revoir.

Gene'

[genebujold]

How many men out their have GF or have a wife that supports you wearing high heels? I only ask becasue I was thinking about how I never have had a gf. Kind of starting to wonder if I ever will. Esp. with this new found acceptecnce I have of me buying and wearing heels.

Help: http://www.americansingles.com/

Here you can enter your own profile as well as search the profiles of others. Don't read the canned comments (likes/dislikes) as they're generated by checking boxes, and most people check most boxes. Instead, take the time to read the personalized comments from each individual. Therein you will find someone who's right for you. And be picky! As with all good things, it may take a few months! But good luck, and God be with you.

Gene'

[asdf174]

Thanks. I haven't been to that one yet. I'll try it out.

[shyguy]

Amazingly, I was also engaged and had a similar experience to Dawn HH where the girl got more and more demanding. She even asked me to buy her family a full set of furniture and called me selfish when I said I was saving the money for our wedding/ house purchase. She stopped me seeing friends, and even talking to any females I knew. Then dumped me, kept the engagement ring, and I found out she had been keeping in touch with her ex the whole time. He moved in with her and her family a week after we split. I also turned to cars, couldn't afford a Corvette (not so common in the UK) so settled for its sister the Firebird which received a lot of attention, and took a lot of the pain I had to dish out while I hurt inside.

[xaphod]

Amazingly, I was also engaged and had a similar experience to Dawn HH where the girl got more and more demanding. She even asked me to buy her family a full set of furniture and called me selfish when I said I was saving the money for our wedding/ house purchase. She stopped me seeing friends, and even talking to any females I knew. Then dumped me, kept the engagement ring, and I found out she had been keeping in touch with her ex the whole time. He moved in with her and her family a week after we split.

I also turned to cars, couldn't afford a Corvette (not so common in the UK) so settled for its sister the Firebird which received a lot of attention, and took a lot of the pain I had to dish out while I hurt inside.

OUCH.

Like all 'deals' in life, there are a few good ones and some you should walk away from. Women fall into that category too.

I had an enthusiastic crew member who would go far out of his way to do some sailing. We had many enjoyable voyages together .... (and a few wet and miserable workouts ! ). Regretably he hooked up with quite a pleasant woman who disapproved of all this sailing stuff, gradually imposed 'responsibilities' on him, and arranged more and more things to occupy him to the detriment of his sailing. He's now 200 lbs (was a fit 140) and can only now converse about children and schools.

Xa

[shyguy]

Yeah I'm lucky, now I have found the best woman for me, and made her my wife. Every cloud has a silver lining etc.

[Heelfan]

To Arron (posting as asdf) - let's all hope that US dating agency finds you a great lady and great happiness! - Good Luck. To Shyguy - congratulations on putting your misfotunes bhind you and finding Mrs. Shyguy! Cheerfully yours, Heelfan

[dressboots]

Made "friends" with the woman who became my wife first. It took time - more than she wanted it to I found out later. I designed and had the engagement ring made for her without her advance knowledge. I asked for permission of her mother before proposing (her father was deceased). My approach to relationships was be friends first and if a relationship grows, great. But do not sweat it if it does not. I have female friends who are friends nothing more. Not only is my wife my sole mate, she is my best friend. Who better to support you in who you are than your best friend? Got to admire those who knew true love when you met. It does not happen to everyone, such as me, so don't sweat it. xaphod: Sorry to hear that your sailing partner got redirtected. I have had buddies go similar direction when they were married, much to my disappointment, but now it does not bother me anymore. People change, we cross pathes, we become friends, our pathes may diverge, but it makes our friendship no less valuable. I valued the time I had with them when the friendship was active. I make additional friends along the way.

[larry]

To asd174. Larry here. I have been avoiding your post because it screams for help and I didnt want to get this personal. Growing up, I realized that I was different from the other guys my age because of my high heel fetish. Oh yes I love seeing the ladies in heels and nylons and I secretly wore my older sisters hose and heels whenever possible. I suffered under the dillusion that I was the only one. When I started dating I soon realized that I viewed myself as inferior because of what was going on in my inside. What I say will ring true!! I have dated more than 100 women. Am I a player? HELL NO! I overcame the fear of rejection. I'm not exceptionaly handsome, blessed with brains or money. My most effective approach with the gals was this. > Hello my name is Larry and i'm kinda nervous about talking to you like this but it's just something about you that attracted me to you. Youre so beautifull....... This works about half of the time and I was blown off the other half. Its like throwing pasta at the wall. If you throw enough STUFF at the wall some of it will stick. MY wife understands my fetish and I love her but so many women dont...Go for it while you can....Larry.

[Dawn HH]

Shyguy:-) Xaphod:-) Dressboots:-) Genebujold:-) Heelfan:-) Larry:-) I hope I haven't left anyone out---If I did, it wasn't intentional. You know Genebujold---For someone who wasn't going to post anymore---You sure did lay a very dynamic "SERMON" onto all of us. Thank God that our Wive's/GF's/SO's are so patient and understanding of our unique personal situations and our being so different with our personalities---God Bless them all, every one. And let us all "THANK" them for being themselves and standing by us and allowing us to grow and understand our unique foibles. And to the rest of you fellow crossdressers and heel wearers, all I can say in summing up is---AMEN, BROTHERS, A---MEN!!! This still relates to relationships as I am breaking in a new pair of boots thanks to Mickey68 buying them for me. They are a sleek leather boot in a low-calf height with narrow, squared toe and 3½" covered heel. Side zip, rubber sole, imported, and in black and were on sale for $49.00, normally $64.00. They have what you would call a blade heel for sturdiness and are becoming quite comfortable the more I break them in. They will soon be ready for some great street-heeling. Oh, and I almost forgot to mention that we got them from New-port News. I have several pairs of their boots in various heel heights and styles and they always fit right out of the box. Cheers--- Dawn HH

[asdf174]

Thanx for the advice Larry. I'm hope I'm able to get over my fears and shyness. I don't konw why I'm so shy.

[asdf174]

I suppose I'll find away around it soon though. Thanx to everyone again for their adivce and opions. Its a big help.