heel'd Posted May 5, 2004 Posted May 5, 2004 Been surfing the net for the first time to find people like myself that go out in public wearing (what is commonly know as due to gov't pigeon holing) women's shoes. I have collected heels for a large majority of my life, a pair here, a pair there. Was always jealous of the ladies when I was in high school during the late 80's and that I wanted to have those shoe options as well. It took me most of my college years until I worked up the guts to finally go out in public. I had a few pair of "cute" shoes as I am all about the cut, color, and lines (design) of the shoes prior to me even trying on a pair let alone donning them on my feet. I live and play in the Allentown, Reading and Philly areas and maybe someone here has scene me. Most recently I have found a highly supportive girlfriend who actually (watch out here folks) likes to see guys in heels. Also belives there should be a law against body hair and is what actually attracted her to me in the first place. Since that time I started wearing 'womens shoes' a little more often in public as she seems to like the idea just about as much as I do (possibly more). So we go out often. I have exposed the public (at restaurants, malls, food stores, colleges, gas stations and etc) to my shoe wearing. IThas varied but all my shoes have at least a 1" kitten heel to a 3.5" stilletto with 'bows on the toes' in "RED" and even pink (goes nicely with my pink shirt). More often than not it is the women that pick up on and make the glares, quick looks, double takes, and wierd faces. THe men I have encountered looking just pass it off. Only once did I get anytype of comments from a guy and he was puerto rican and I can understand that due to their societal setup and that "crossing sexual borders" is taboo. So what I have to say is ... ladies...lighten up a bit on the glares and stares. I have found the problem is most folks dont know what to think and where to process a guy in women's shoes. Basically it is new information for the brain to understand and get accoustomed to. So you have to expect the reactions. Luckily my gf tried being a lesbian for a spell. She was use to being eyeballed and getting the glaring stares from people and noted to me that it made her a stronger person in the long run and that if you dont look people in the eye's when you are doing what you want to be doing that they wont make the faces at you or approach you. Funny thing human conditioning is. When we look at other people in the eyes it is permission for the other person to be part of you and to communicate when it is on good terms. In the world of gangs and such "eyeballing" is an open invitation to a challenge or fight. So avoiding any eye contact seems to work and most people leave it go. What I also found it that if you limit the clothing to just one piece of clothing being female on the male, society is much quicker to accept it. A skirt and heels seems more taboo that just a flouncy kilt or a cute pair of womens shoes. I hope you guys are out there doing what I am doing and spreading a little bit of yourself in the world and opening societies eyes. A pityful part in developing our society's norms is that 3 things have to happen for society in general to accept a way of life or expression. 1) it has to make it onto one of the daytime talk shows. 2) it has to make it into the local nightly news. 3) it has to make it into BIG time mainstream news on TV. Then all of a sudden mainstream america accepts (or at least numbs themselves) to a new look or way of life. One thing I have to add, is be tasteful and descrete in your dressing. Follow the women's fashion lead and the take pointers from the ladies you see at the local malls and such in their dress. Even at the the highpoint of women in heels it may be sexy and discrete at the same time. There is something to be said for that. Even a women in trashy loud shoes get's odd looks from everyone (but do what you want). This is a great website. How many members on on this board anyway? Maybe there should be a "guys in heels day" one day a month to get the general public use to the idea. I am all for it!!! Lori and Ron.
loveheel Posted May 5, 2004 Posted May 5, 2004 So well said Heel'd. And welcome to the board. I have found the problem is most folks dont know what to think and where to process a guy in women's shoes. Basically it is new information for the brain to understand and get accoustomed to. So you have to expect the reactions. This is really what it is. When most people get passed their amazement of seeing something unusual, a lot actually think women's shoes can look good on guys. You will find that a lot of guys on this board have relayed that experience when exposing their passion to friends or family. Yesterday I had an interesting experience in a shoe store. I was trying on some women's sandals. Really nice ones (4.5" heel). This is a shop where the sales girl knows me very well, so I am usually quickly surrounded with open shoe boxes and shoes lying around the floor. Two women (probably late 20's) walked in while I was sitting down putting the sandals on. Once walked straight up to me and literally stared at me for several seconds while I tried them on. She seemed so shocked and finally asked me if "I liked women's shoes". Even before I could answer she stated "You don't think you can walk in those !" So I went on to demonstrate it for her. You could literally see her come around and processing this in her brain thinking that it looked pretty good. It helped that I just had my toe nails done an hour before and was wearing sharp pants. So the whole look went well. It was really a nice experience to see her go from total shock to acceptance and even approval. We chatted a bit about the shoes she was trying on, and she seemed to like my recommendation. Just goes to prove that most people's reaction is conditioning. Just like it was with ear rings. I just doubt that we will ever get enoughmen to wear women's shoes so that we can make an impact on people's thinking. I think what it will take is some cross-over styles of men's shoes that have some feminine touches. Then maybe...
loveheel Posted May 5, 2004 Posted May 5, 2004 Actually, here is an image of the sandals I bought. They are very comfortable, even though they have a high heel
Firefox Posted May 5, 2004 Posted May 5, 2004 The board has 1321 members at the moment (see Index page): Our users have posted a total of 53452 articles We have 1321 registered users The newest registered user is joshn In total there are 9 users online :: 4 Registered, 0 Hidden and 5 Guests Most users ever online was 38 on 29 Nov 2002 02:53
asdf174 Posted May 5, 2004 Posted May 5, 2004 Hello, welcome to the board. Nicely said. Even though I do like to wear those outragious "trashy" heels out. I like those sandles. It's all good. ~Arron.
JinxieKat Posted May 5, 2004 Posted May 5, 2004 Ugh, I hate that trashy shoe sterotype.. I wore a pair of 5" black patent stiletto courts to work today. It's the first time I've worn 5" heels all day at work. I made it till the last 45 mins before I had to change into my 4" heels. I also made it through most of the day before I got the comment about them being 'F#*K Me' shoes. It just ticks me off. I was wearing a nice skirt suit. A button up long waisted jacket that tucked in at the waist and had short sleeves. The skirt was a black and white houndstooth check that went to my knees. Nothing about my outfit was not professional, I work at a bank so it would not be appropriate to do so. Yet, still that comment! Uggg.. it makes me so mad! The funny thing was it was the younger folks making the comments. One older woman who works there just smiled and said she used to wear them when she was younger but couldn't anymore. Society is just too judgemental at times.. [/endrant] javascript:emoticon(':wink:') JinxieKat
Heelfan Posted May 5, 2004 Posted May 5, 2004 JinxieCat, you must have looked MARVELLOUS! It's so sad that you made all that effort to present yourself superbly, only to get less than the huge compliments that you really deserved. If I'd been there, I would have made sure that I showered you with admiration and praise. Anyway, at arm's length from Bristol UK, to you from me - "Well done!". Cheerfully yours, Heelfan Onwards and upwards!
new_look Posted May 6, 2004 Posted May 6, 2004 sounds like jealousy to me. they are stunned by the look, and have to say anything
JinxieKat Posted May 6, 2004 Posted May 6, 2004 THANK YOU! This has been bugging me all day. It was wonderful to get it off my chest and then all of the postive replies here... I needed that. Thanks again! JinxieKat
Lee Posted May 14, 2004 Posted May 14, 2004 Loveheel, I really like your new sandals. Great looking High heel shoes. JinxieKat, So sorry to hear about your ordeal. By your description, you must have looked very nice and professional, head to toe. Not suprised that is was the younger folks how commented like that. Manners and civility are not taught to a lot of kids these days. I hope they do not deter you HH wearing. Lee
Mickey S. Posted May 14, 2004 Posted May 14, 2004 THANK YOU! This has been bugging me all day. It was wonderful to get it off my chest and then all of the postive replies here... I needed that. Thanks again! JinxieKat JinxieKat, like HeelFan said: you must have looked awesome! And I had told you that - more then ever when I'd noticed your colleague saying the bad words. JinxieKat - keep it up. We all love it!!! CU! -Mike
JinxieKat Posted May 14, 2004 Posted May 14, 2004 I am continueing to wear my high heels. I've never been one to not do something simply because it is not the 'in' thing to do. In fact I'm going to be wearing my very, very skinny 4" sling backs to work today. I'm being brave, today is my 11 hour day at work and these skinny heels are more difficult than my usuals. Wish me luck!! JinxieKat
Anne_Louise Posted May 14, 2004 Posted May 14, 2004 Keep up the good work Kat, and don't take any notice. As someone said, it's often jealousy - there is a thread here about the comments people make when they see someone wearing heels, and most of them are unoriginal. If you are new to heels it could be that you are still a little self-conscious, and maybe that comes over a bit to others, though nothing excuses insulting comments. I would say that those initials (C.F.M.) could be more appropriate to some of those young girls, with their exposed midriffs, piercings etc. It quite escapes me how a pair of very smart and glamorous shoes could be seen as an invitation to copulation. I must admit, when I wore my first 51/2" heels I did think everyone was looking at me, and perhaps I looked slightly 'on edge', but now that I wear them, and higher, daily, I walk and move quite naturally in them. You were also wearing a smart, professional outfit, and a lot of young women don't like to see women looking smart, it seems to make them insecure! With my heels I often wear my skirts short as well, both for work and socially, and these days I get very few adverse comments and quite a few compliments. Today I'm in my 'snakeskin' suit, deep red, with a mid-thigh fitted jacket and a shorter skirt, and I thought I could wear my new 61/2" heels for a bit of shopping, visit to the bank, and so on, all within a fairly confined area as I'm not ready to risk that height over long distances yet. The mirror told me I was looking smart, and I believed it! I felt that people were looking (especially passing motorists!), but I wasn't aware of any comments. I do work on my posture, and I make full use of my height (5'9'' + heels), and I have confidence in the way I move in my heels and short clothes. I'm sure that helps, and from reading some of your other postings you seem to be still gaining self-confidence. Keep up the fight though, don't be put off, because the results are definitely worth the effort! The problem is other people, not you! Love, Anne Louise
Mickey S. Posted May 14, 2004 Posted May 14, 2004 @JinxieKat: All the best!!! @Anne_Louise: 6 1/2"?! Non-platform? Wow, that must be some sort of a serious challange!!! Glad to hear that there is still some girls out there like you! CU! -Mike
Bubba136 Posted May 15, 2004 Posted May 15, 2004 Anne_Louise said when I wore my first 51/2" heels I did think everyone was looking at me Me Too.... Being mentally comfortable in your own mind is the key to wearing heels in public.
Anne_Louise Posted May 17, 2004 Posted May 17, 2004 Bubba, should we be surprised?! But seriously, I wonder how much notice the general public takes of heel height, just that they are either high or low. You real experts would be interested, and those of us who wear them know how they make us feel, and that 6" are more satisfying than 5", but I used to get almost as many comments when my highest were between 41/2" and 5" as I do now with my 51/2" and even ( admittedly only very recently) 61/2". But I wear them for ME and any admiring looks, comments and compliments from those who can see the difference are a welcome bonus. Let's face it, at 5'9'' I look tall in 4" heels, so the extra height doesn't make a great difference to people's perception of me.
Paul (North-East) Posted May 17, 2004 Posted May 17, 2004 In fact I'm going to be wearing my very, very skinny 4" sling backs to work today. I'm being brave, today is my 11 hour day at work and these skinny heels are more difficult than my usuals. Wish I could have been there to see you JinxieKat, I'm sure you looked amazing. How did you get on with the skinny heels for a whole day? Love, Paul.
Paul (North-East) Posted May 17, 2004 Posted May 17, 2004 But seriously, I wonder how much notice the general public takes of heel height, just that they are either high or low........But I wear them for ME and any admiring looks, comments and compliments from those who can see the difference are a welcome bonus. I think you are right Anne Louise, I don't think the general public would spot the difference between a 5 1/2 and a 6 1/2 inch heel. But rest assured, you are much appreciated by heel loving guys like myself. Love, Paul.
Kathiee881 Posted May 18, 2004 Posted May 18, 2004 Our stories sound very similar. I'm a newbie to this meeting place, and I'm a guy in my mid 30's who has been wearing heels now for about 20 years. I also spent a lot of time in high school and college "observing" the various styles of shoes the women were wearing and often wanted to ask some of them if I could buy their shoes right on the spot. I have some pics posted at http://photos.yahoo.com/kathie881
asdf174 Posted May 18, 2004 Posted May 18, 2004 Just about all of my heels are 6 inchs and above. It's all good. ~Arron.
Recommended Posts