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Spotted this as a simple advert on my local papers website. (Portsmouth News)

"Need a Digital Camera

Outstanding value with expert advice.

Stockings of all leading brands"

Do they supply a scantily clad model as an extra to wear them?

Not quite as tongue in cheek as an old window poster in a hardware shop.

"Buy your man a new tool for Christmas"

Al

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Oh gosh, I love adverts. I once saw a Baby Burco boiler advertised as a Burco Baby Boiler. But on TV I'm intrigued that Santander are happy to give the impression that their bank is made of lego. I was, of course, delighted to see Johnny Rotten advertising butter. I refused to look at the VW ad that used God Only Knows. I wouldn't let them use a song I liked to put their images in my head. Anyway, I never forgave them, VW of all people, for using the girl in the red coat imagery from Schindler's List. How dare they? I'm afraid I can't find it.

There's a beautiful advert at the moment, for Galaxy chocolate, with a girl obviously meant to be Audrey Hepburn and Moon River as its soundtrack. I'm going to get up early and go to Tiffany's for breakfast. Or have champagne before breakfast. I've had it with before, but never before before.

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Don't get me started on commercial advertising. I refuse to watch commercial TV on account of the fact that I hate having products rammed down my throat every 10 or 15 mins when all I want to do is watch whatever it is I want to watch. And where do they find the people who come up with the ideas for them? A talking mere cat that makes a funny squeaking noise selling insurance? COME ON!!!! But the classifieds, well that can be very funny. I thought the baby boiler one was hilarious and alsheels one sounds like a very bad translation. "I can a speaka heengleesh. I learrrn it frrrrom a boooke!"

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The trick is to watch adverts critically. Advertising seeps so insidiously into our lives everywhere. View the ads appreciatively (you get the time to with a TV ad) and learn the tricks they're pulling on you. Never feel you're immune. You're not.

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