ilikekicks Posted November 7, 2012 Posted November 7, 2012 ANY thoughts or inputs/opinions on this are not only welcomed, but appreciated! Ive been ' stewing ' lately. Not in pity or aggravation, but by just common thought. Someone asked me a question privately and I also met someone thats ' like me ' in many ways. Its made me believe I might have been a bit misleading in representing myself here on HHPlace. I think theres 2 influences ( maybe mindset would be a better term ) to most of the thinking of the gentlemen whom visit this site. There are some of us whom have a desire to wear heels. Sometimes it goes beyond this and theres a want/desire/need to go for whole outfits. Theres some whom feel sexually energized. Theres some whom are into some kind of cosplay and like doing different things.. maybe its just a fashionable desire? The above folks are mostly ' people of choice' . We all make them freely, nothing wrong with them, its your choice in what you wish to wear. The second ' group ' are those whom actually have a true ' need ' of sorts. Theres 2 parts to it. The Second group would be those whom are switching genders ( or have ) and those of us with what Im going to call ' mis-sized ' bodies. The first half of this group I believe most people can come to terms or understand that there are those of us out there whom have always felt something was wrong. They have known their mind or spirit didnt fit the body they were born with and have taken course to do something about it. There are some whom have just lived with such a conflict and done nothing or never put into motion some resolve to do something about how they have felt. The Second half is the part I reside in. Its a very small number by all comparison. We are those guys whom were male, we are ' guys ' and have no problems being a guy. We can be macho, effeminate, stupid ( even idiotic at times ) . All flavors and colors. But we have one distinguishing thing that is always noted in our lives. We arent shaped/built like what most would assume a ' guy ' is. Some use the term ' androgynous '. Like an android out of a sci-fy program/movie. We are often mistaken for being a woman.. Not by choice, it just happens. In my instance, Ive never been some muscular type. I have been told by quite a few woman they would kill for my legs/ass/waist or something to that effect. We find that going into the mens department leaves us with jeans with the proper inseam when zipped and buttoned up fall to our ankles. If we put a belt on them to keep them up, they are scrunched at the waist and look horrible or make us seem like someone whos from a third world country ( starved ) and finally had a chance in a first world place. Often, we find ourselves looking for ' tops '. Shirts. Womens shirts taper nice in the waist.. but theres nothing on top to make them fit properly, so they look slouchy. Mens shirts? They look like tents around the waist and flap about in the wind.. The only real solution is to have a seamstress/tailors number stored on the phone and doing lots of business. To my perspective: I do wear a lot of ' flats '. I have narrow feet and mens shoes.. they just hurt my feet. I could wear 2-3 pairs of cotton socks, but then the stinky-sweaty effect happens.. not comfortable. I think what really brings myself ( and probably others in my position ) to wearing heels is more out of ' proper look ' then anything else. I couldnt see myself wearing a nice pair of trousers with a set of work boots/sneakers and 2-3 pairs of cotton socks. Talk about tacky! Such is a choice, but is there really any other one in such an instance? Its not an excuse by any means at all, Im not at all looking for one nor any sympathy of anykind, Im just looking for insight into what others might think. The private message I received made me reflect on someone I met with this past week while out and about. Darian and I were at the mall taking a walk ( doing my physical therapy.. 2 birds/one stone ) and I saw a babe wearing a cool cropped leather jacket. I remembered someone on here saying they had a short pink leather jacket and I just had to know where they bought it.. ' Excuse me miss, can I have a moment of your time '.. She turned around.. and it was a guy. It was a situation I have often found myself in and all I could think was ' Ah.. crap! WTF! I screwed up! ' . The guy was taken aback ( as I often am ) and had ( probably ) the same look on his face that I have given others in the past. The expression of ' What kind of idiot are you? Im a guy, dumbass! '. After the initial expression, he looked down, checked out what I was wearing and said ' Sure '. I didnt notice the boots he was wearing at the time but they were a pair I had seen in Bakers in the past ( Almost bought them ). We never exchanged any info and the whole thing was just very odd. It was absolutely weird and Im still sorting how I feel about the situation out. Darian didnt approach us but was in the background and actually didnt believe me at first when I returned to her and told her ' He bought that jacket at Wilsons leather.. '. It took her a moment to comprehend what I said and her response was of total shock " What?!!? That was a guy?!!? OMG! Your kidding, right? ". Talk about a roll reversal. Being honest, Im not really into heels and dresses. I often think to myself negative thoughts about what Im wearing.. that I really dont fully-approve of what Im wearing. Its not because its womens clothes or because they are mens clothes.. its just that theres NOTHING that fits me! I wish I would have tried stirring the conversation with that guy but I was just so weirded-out that I wanted to bail ( leave/get out of there ). It would have been good to have someone to speak with whos in the same situation. I wonder if wearing heels is so I will ' blend in '. Something about womens pants having their footware with the outfit is just more presentable. Be it flats, boots, heels.. Mens footware just doesnt look or feel right with womens pants/bottoms. Any thoughts or opinions? Do you fit into the first or second group? Cheers! -Ilk. REPEATEDLY ARGUMENTATIVE, INSULTING AND RUDE. BANNED FOR LIFE.
Foxyheels Posted November 7, 2012 Posted November 7, 2012 I am definately in the first group, a bloke in heels, by choice. I would seriously doubt the sanity of anyone who mistook me for a girl. I can obtain clothing easily that fits quite well. I imagine it's quite an issue if you are forced to go to the ladies section to get your clothing due to lack of availability. Your fashion direction is pretty much forced unless you have the ability to have clothing tailored but that would be very expensive I inagine, yet another factor forcing your fashion direction choice. High heels are the shoes I choose to put on, respect my choice as I repect yours.
Curt Posted November 7, 2012 Posted November 7, 2012 I'm starting to think of myself in the first group. I love heels, flair jeans, tapered coats, and womens tops. Would I go completely female, I don't think so anymore. I just love the style of clothes that women have, and they have the freedom to wear what they want. I would like to know what a woman thinks of this. Would she resent a guy for dressing with feminine items, or would she be attracted to it. Everybody has their own fashion sense. I wish someone would explain this to my mom. She wants me to wear dockers pants and mens ugly shoes. Not on this guy! I got to look glamourous or nothing!
Shafted Posted November 8, 2012 Posted November 8, 2012 I would be in the first group, a guy who chooses to wear high heels as part of a whole outfit. Sorry, just drawing a blank on everything else, it's just outside my realm of experience. Shafted, the boots that is! View my gallery here http://www.hhplace.o...afteds-gallery/ or view my heeling thread here http://www.hhplace.org/topic/3850-new-pair-of-boots-starts-me-serious-street-heeling/ - Pm me if you want fashion advice or just need someone to talk to.
ilikekicks Posted November 8, 2012 Author Posted November 8, 2012 I would like to know what a woman thinks of this. Would she resent a guy for dressing with feminine items, or would she be attracted to it. There was a quite long thread about this a while back. A lot of views were presented. I am definately in the first group, a bloke in heels, by choice. I would seriously doubt the sanity of anyone who mistook me for a girl. I can obtain clothing easily that fits quite well. I imagine it's quite an issue if you are forced to go to the ladies section to get your clothing due to lack of availability. Your fashion direction is pretty much forced unless you have the ability to have clothing tailored but that would be very expensive I inagine, yet another factor forcing your fashion direction choice. Economics did make me look at a lot of it. Sure , I could go buy things and have them tailored.. and the bill adds up.. I wind up paying more for something to be tailored then I would for the item to begin with. Add the 2 together and its expensive when compared to having to just buy something ( thats usually cheaper to begin with from what I have experienced ) and being able to put it on right away. Thats another part of it : The inconvenience of having to wait. I had to buy a suit for a wedding. After trying something that fit in the length/inseam, they tried to take-in the waistline.. it looked HIDEOUS when it was done. Items with the proper waist didnt have enough material to lengthen out the inseam on.. I wound up shelling out a LOT of money on what was supposed to be a ' cheap ' suit. Instead of 250$, it was 700$ and still looked like garbage. I would be in the first group, a guy who chooses to wear high heels as part of a whole outfit. Sorry, just drawing a blank on everything else, it's just outside my realm of experience. It was just my own reactions that I questioned. -Ilk REPEATEDLY ARGUMENTATIVE, INSULTING AND RUDE. BANNED FOR LIFE.
SleekHeels Posted November 9, 2012 Posted November 9, 2012 As far as the second group goes I wouldn't say women's clothes fit me any better than men's, they just look and feel a lot more stylish to me when they do fit. I feel they match my personality better, so it's not so much a physical "need" but maybe a psychologial need or just a preference/choice. Neither would I say that I want to change sex (male to female) or even gender (masculine to feminine) although I do feel a need to be free to express feminine qualities (or not express masculine ones). As for the first group, I guess I could "choose" not to wear heels but I would be supressing my desire for personal expression (not just "fashionable desire" but a fashion statement which ties in with my social and political views on gender). So ultimately I think I'm somewhere between the first and second groups, a combination of "need" to express and "choice" of how to express. If you like it, wear it.
Curt Posted November 22, 2012 Posted November 22, 2012 I think I'm in the second group. Sexy heels don't look right with normal mens pants. I can put on girls jeans, heels, a form fitting coat and sunglasses, and pass for a woman no problem! Good luck in finding pants in the mens section. Ilk will agree that it seems the smaller the waist, the shorter the leg. In girls pants, you can choose what length yoy want. I'm usually a size 3 or 4. Or a 26" waist and a inseam of 34 or 35 when wearing scorching high heels. I actully enjoy the femme stuff. Make-up, perfume, heels, flare pants and coats. Shopping at sephoria is like an all day event. I don't know if I could be completely female, but would love it if somehow a woke up the next morning as a girl! Guys wearing heels is easy, just put thhem on and go out. Being stuck in the wrong gender as a lot harder to deal with. A guess that's why I like the girls clothes with the heels. Deep iinside I'm one of the girls. Mens clothes don't appeal to me at all.
Guest Posted December 2, 2012 Posted December 2, 2012 Up to my thirties I was skinny and could fall in to the androgynous category also had long hair mostly straight but did perm it during my early twenties. More of a podgy tum now due to age and an appendix removal (messy one half a C section) built some muscles and now wider in the shoulders. I still have a "fitted doublet" that yes I can get on but can't move in it now. I'm certainly of the first group, as with the above I could be of the second during that time period. As to gender wishes I'm male and that's fine but I get jealous that there is so much choice for women. Need the body of course! Next life if you believe in that, I'd go for female but some girls would probable say it isn't that good! I think the above gives an impression of my youth. Al
antha Posted December 4, 2012 Posted December 4, 2012 Al racing bikes, don't get me started I'm the second group. . .sort of. I def have the need for wearing heeled boots, and i used to bodybuild many years ago so jackets and shirts are always baggy at the waist. Got long blonde hair too, had it short several times, but too high maintenace getting it cut every 5 mins, ultimately i prefer my long locks. Trouble is it's starting to get a bit thin at the front and i really want my thick head of hair back. I would love to be able to 'dress up' for an evening out, i'm totally fed up with shirt and trousers, like Al, i really hate the lack of choice. So had my life taken a different path i'd be similar to Ilk, just would rather not be skinny again, i prefer having some muscle shape to me instead of being up and down as i was. I'm afraid it's the times we live in, it ain't a good time for people like us. There's a picture on the wall of a staircase in Dunster castle in Somerset, that really took me, http://www.1st-art-gallery.com/Edward-Bower/A-Cavalier.html it looks out of proportion but it was painted to to be looked at from a staircase. The real one is BIG! it's worth a vist if you're on holiday there. If we all had this freedom, as men did, we would have few issues.
Walkonit Posted December 9, 2012 Posted December 9, 2012 Interesting discussion. I guess like some of ther others I think I fall somewhere between the groups. I look like a guy, I have broad shoulders and a v shaped torso from training. Slim fit tapered shirts work fine for me on my upper body , but I have difficulty finding men's trousers that fit well because they are cut too big in the waist and bum as well as too small in the thigh. Womens pants however fit me much better and are on average soooo much nicer to wear. As mentioned above they more naturally "go" with heels. Having said that I love to wear heels regardless of my body form. I've also found that my lower half looks great in a skirt, but the appearence of a v-shaped torso on top looks weird so I don't wear skirts out. I've also tried dresses but it's ridiculous as when the dress fits well over my lower half the upper part is about half the size it needs to be !
Guest Posted December 10, 2012 Posted December 10, 2012 (edited) Antha great picture. Planning "banqueting costumes" trying to find something to design from and then the ornamental braid, lace and ribbons to create the perfect look is the easy bit. Building it is the hard bit. Good confidence and skill knowledge is a must. Lace is hard to match (certainly in 1980) either very expensive to have made or difficult to find good pattern "lace curtain" that could be cut and used. Three of us put mine together that took over a week, the hat took 3 attempts over a couple of weeks. Footwear was hard, square toes never easy to come by and again expensive, square toe cowboy boots were a good starting point with buckets built on the upper, in the UK the cowboy boot fashion was just on the wane (1981). Slim calf style was only for the upper classes. Now thigh boots are findable at better prices but no stilettos allowed sadly, also they tend to be more pointed or round, whereas in the 17thC square were the norm. Fighting kit is cotton and wool based all heavyweight to last. Bucket boots only for officers. I was with the ECWS English Civil War Society. There is also the Sealed Knot, both do muster battles and living history displays around the UK and both have Facebook pages. When it comes down to getting dirty, one does not wear finery. Al Edited December 10, 2012 by Alsheels
ilikekicks Posted December 12, 2012 Author Posted December 12, 2012 I would love to be able to 'dress up' for an evening out, i'm totally fed up with shirt and trousers, like Al, i really hate the lack of choice. I view this whole dilemma as having more then the average person for my choices.. yet theres only one thing that really ' fits '. By ' fits ' I mean in measurement, not in personality. The other day, I was all set to go to a gathering. Flannel shirt with a hoodie underneath, a pair of Levis 505 jeans and a pair of sketchers sneakers.. Darian took one look at me and asked ' Is that what your wearing? '. I thought she was upset but later found out from others asking me if I realized my clothes looked like a tent because they were falling off of me.. So had my life taken a different path i'd be similar to Ilk, just would rather not be skinny again, i prefer having some muscle shape to me instead of being up and down as i was. I was skinny to begin with, had some medical issues and lost ( over ) another 40lbs. All is fine now though, Pasta is an ally! I'm afraid it's the times we live in, it ain't a good time for people like us. Honestly, I think times are ' ok ' on teh style front. Other fronts though.. things arent doing well. If we all had this freedom, as men did, we would have few issues. I believe we have these freedoms. We just need to be brave enough to use them. -Ilk REPEATEDLY ARGUMENTATIVE, INSULTING AND RUDE. BANNED FOR LIFE.
antha Posted December 12, 2012 Posted December 12, 2012 Cool Al Ilk you are probably right there Up till the last 150 years mens fashion has been quite flambouyant, if you could afford it, since then it''s got stuck in a rutt. The 60's wasn't too bad. . .missed that. The 70's Ugly fashion (in my opinion) but great oppertunity for heels. . .missed that too. However after those brief moments we're back to boring again. As you say though, we actually have more freedoms now but we choose not to exersise them. If we want more change we have to do something about it. So i best stop complaining.
Recommended Posts