High Heeled Goddess Diary #9

[Laurieheels]

I have come to realize that my gift for writing is something special and powerful. Ideas are fluid in my mind, swirling about in the chaos, pulled through the mire of every day life by inspiration, and then, suddenly, dreams take shape. Ideas are forged, stories wait to be told, and potential is endless. Yet, I have not put great effort into my writing these past few months. Yes, this is going somewhere. I have decided that there is not enough of an audience for my diary. I am not feeling the reward I need to keep me writing this diary. My goal in life is to be a writer. To create stories that entertain many people. To find a voice, and an audience. And yes, make a living from it. I have started to lose interest in posting this weekly diary. It is not fulfilling the needs that I have. I fear that Diary #9 will be the last, as I am not entertaining plans of continuing the goddess diary. I've always wanted to change the world for the better. To make people think, to let them feel something, and to entertain them. Writing is the skill I would love people to know me for, not high heel wearing. As well, I find that when I am with Chris, all thoughts of high heeled discussion seem to vanish from my mind, lest it be between us. My story ideas remain, and my desire to be a writer remains. My interest in the diary does not. Perhaps it is enough for me to be his personal high heeled goddess, and in a way, his heel wearing muse. I don't need more than that with respect to high heels. Yes, I still love wearing heels, and I plan to continue being a goddess in the real world. I plan to stay four inches and higher, and maybe I'll get to six inches. Perhaps a special report will be made at that time. Until such a time, however, I find it more important to work on my writing, for the fictional stories I wish to create, set in fantasic worlds where my imagination can run free. Beyond that, I am content having a life with Chris, being a good influence on his daughter, and having good times with his friends and family. They all like me and approve, after all. I only have 47 days left in Calgary, and things will get very busy until the official move day arrives. Time for the diary will vanish as it is. The participants of this forum deserve a goddess who is still inspired to write about her high heeled activities in the real world. They deserve a goddess that can live up to their expectations and their own dreams. They deserve some pictures every now and then. Well, more frequently than I ever post them, anyway. I know some people will post messages to try and coax me back into the diary routine. I thank you now for your support. It is not my intention to let anyone down, although I feel I have let myself down by ignoring the stories that I need to work on. I may find other ways to express my writing on the internet. If this happens, I will be sure to let everyone know, so fans of my writing can follow, and fans of my high heeled activities can understand that they don't need to. I will continue to moderate to the best of my abilities, of course. No one should feel that free reign is granted to be an idiot. I am still around, watching, waiting, and ready to unleash a frenzy of typing to assault any who would bring discord to the community of heel wearers and admirers. But for me, writing is the key, the goal, the dream. If I had several hudred fans willing to express their interest in my writing, I would have continued, but I know this is not how things are. Once again, to all who enjoyed my diaries, I thank you for reading, and I hope you can find someone else to be your internet high heeled goddess. There are many who can do amazing things and could easily surpass anything I have done with regards to the shoes. I wish anyone who would be my successor the best of luck, and a constant stream of appretiation from the fans. All of the admiration and reward I need I have found with the love of one man, and in the love he has for me. Thank you for reading these last fourteen months. Laurie

[BobHH]

Have I missed something? Are you leaving Calgary for somewhere else? May I ask where? Sounds like a writing career is pending - and it sounds like that will occupy your attention, at least for a while. Please don't disappear, though. The frequent messages are appreciated even without the diaries.

[Julietta]

Laurie sorry you feel that way as you will be very much missed, but from the bottom of my heart I wish you well with your writing. Love Julie xxx

[allheel]

Thank you Laurie for your diaries. There is only so much you can write without inspiration and without wider vistas to stimulate the imagination. We've enjoyed your stories and comments and we'll be glad for you to keep us in line. But none of us should limit ourselves too narrowly in life. Do you have a writers' group you can join, to share with others and to get useful feedback on what you have written. Hope you find one to your liking, and that your writing is rewarding. One of the best moments in my life was someone telling me a book I had written had been a substantial influence in their life. Makes you fell humble and uplifted at the same time. Regards.

[Bubba136]

Just because you no longer write your weekly diaries doesn't mean that you have to quit posting here. All of us would like to hear of your progress. So, stay in touch.

[PJ]

Laurie;

Thank you Laurie for all of your devotion and efforts to this diary project. I have read all of those that are archived here (Training Diaries #1 through #52 and Goddess Diaries #0 through #9).

.....Yet, I have not put great effort into my writing these past few months.

Sad to say, I did sense this, but said nothing.

.....I have decided that there is not enough of an audience for my diary. I am not feeling the reward I need to keep me writing this diary.

I noticed that the replies to your recent diaries had decreased. But what really surprised me was when only 48 out of 747 forum members voted that they read your diaries with any regularity.

......I have started to lose interest in posting this weekly diary. It is not fulfilling the needs that I have. I fear that Diary #9 will be the last, as I am not entertaining plans of continuing the goddess diary.

I can understand your feelings. Without motivation, it's hard to perform any task.

......I know some people will post messages to try and coax me back into the diary routine. I thank you now for your support. It is not my intention to let anyone down, although I feel I have let myself down by ignoring the stories that I need to work on.

Laurie, I support your decision. If you decide to return to posting your diary, it will be when you are ready.

.....I will continue to moderate to the best of my abilities, of course. No one should feel that free reign is granted to be an idiot. I am still around, watching, waiting, and ready to unleash a frenzy of typing to assault any who would bring discord to the community of heel wearers and admirers.

I'm so glad you have not decided to leave us, and that you still have an interest in wearing high heels.

.....My goal in life is to be a writer. To create stories that entertain many people. To find a voice, and an audience. And yes, make a living from it.

What kind of writing do you enjoy? Have you made any attempts in contacting publishers? Have you considered selling your writings online?

[Laurieheels]

It's obvious I am leaving Calgary to move to Edmonton. A few hours drive, all of the same stores, but it's all about one thing. I never said I would be leaving, just not writing the diary. As for writing and what I like to write about, for the time being ZI will keep that to myself. I haven't looked for a publisher or tried to sell the stories. Part of the joy is in the crafting, and I wish to create something that really makes me feel good about myself and what I have written. Then I'll shop it around. I need to write as expression, as a way to enjoy life. Not for the purpose of selling the piece and making some money. Too many writers are looking for that, and their books are, well, sub par.

[Alex]

Sad now. Laurie, I can only wish you well in all your future endeavours. I was hoping that you'd continue the diary a little longer but I understand why you stopped. When you've got stories in your head the best thing to do is share them. Good luck.

[Guest Allu]

Flames or Oilers? Now we have icehockey world championchips here in Finland. They play nearer than half mile from my apartment. If there is any reader from Slovenia - I'm sorry, it was unfair to play while Selänne (San Hose Sharks # , Koivu (Montreal Canadiens #11) and Janne Niinimaa (NY islanders #44) are on ice. But anyway there still are many games to play and even we can collapse.

[Julietta]

Flames or Oilers?

Now we have icehockey world championchips here in Finland. They play nearer than half mile from my apartment. If there is any reader from Slovenia - I'm sorry, it was unfair to play while Selänne (San Hose Sharks # , Koivu (Montreal Canadiens #11) and Janne Niinimaa (NY islanders #44) are on ice.

But anyway there still are many games to play and even we can collapse.

Is it me but is this one WAY off topic?

[jo]

>> Is it me but is this one WAY off topic? <<

I didn't even understand the post. I guess it got dropped into completely the wrong forum and completely wrong message board, by someone with far too many windows open.

Nearly done that a few times myself.

[Laurieheels]

Flames or Oilers, possibly a reference to the hockey teams of Calgary and Edmonton. I think I am being asked which I prefer, the Calgary Flames or the Edmonton Oilers, as I am leaving Calgary for Edmonton. I also think the perception is that people in Canada are automatically hockey fanatics. My answer: Oilers, because at least they can make the playoffs in the NHL.

[Julietta]

Ahhhh I see thank you Laurie. Jxx

[High Surprise]

Thanks for that explanation... I was lost too

[Yamyam]

Well, Laurie, It's a shame you're refocusing on different priorities, and I will miss your writings. Where it's pointed out that only 47 of some 700 board members said that we'd miss your writings, I think that's the vast majority of the non-lurkers. So, rather than being around .06% of your reading public, it's probably more like 90% of the active board members who voted that we read your writings regularly. On the other hand, I understand your motivation as well as someone who isn't you can, I think, and I wish you well with all aspects of your life. I hope you do write some more, and I'll certainly read it, and I'm sure I'll enjoy it too. Best wishes with your move, and with everything else too. And should you need some readers, you know where we are