TallSwede Posted February 22, 2003 Posted February 22, 2003 Hi Dockbay94! I guess that maybe presumes that you are born in 1994, and thus, during this year, will be 18 years of age. I do not know your local laws (beware of all *exceptions* in the fine print...), but you are in my eyes an adult. -With an addult responsibilities. Here in Sweden it means that you have to face full responsibility for any crimes done, etc... OTOH it also means that you are "FREE" to do whatever you want without your parents being the first judges... (for good or bad...). If you are ""grown up"" according to your local laws, then do whatever you feel best in the long run... -Else, if your parent(s) still have responsibility for you (and thus for your actions, please do consider how what you do might affect their lives (and your relationship...). TallSwede
Firefox Posted February 22, 2003 Posted February 22, 2003 Hi Dockbay. Well, just tell your mum you fancy some boots or something with a bit of a heel on. You've got to go for something that girls round your way are wearing or is not too extreme or she wont go with it. Also to prove it's what you really want it may be worthwhile offering her some of your own cash towards the purchase. Otherwise she could think it's a whim and you might not wear them. It depends a lot on how narrow minded your mum is or how cool she is so in a sense you are the one who is going to know best how to get round her. Oh yeah, you never said why it is such a problem for you to get them. Is it the money or something else ?
jo Posted February 22, 2003 Posted February 22, 2003 >> I guess that maybe presumes that you are born in 1994, and thus, during this year, will be 18 years of age. << Er? Umm? Not sure what sort of mathematics they teach out there in Scandinavia? Or have I slept and it is now AD 2012 ??
Firefox Posted February 22, 2003 Posted February 22, 2003 It doesn't sound too extreme. That's the kind of boot I wear to work a lot of the time. It depends on the heel too. Many people don't mind chunky heels on guys but need a little mental rearrangement to appreciate the thinner ones. I wear a mixture of all styles but more often chunky, blocks or cowboy style. It doesn't seem to big a problem to me even if your mum needs to come with you. Just tell her before your planning on getting some heeled style. If she makes a fuss, wait half a year or so till you can get out on your own.
Francis Posted February 22, 2003 Posted February 22, 2003 it's true that parents are a little more accepting if the heels are of the chunky style rather than stiletto variant come to think of it, so are most of the closeminds 3.5" are the lowest heels I own, apart from the flat steel toecaps necessary for labourious tasks. usual daily heel height is at least 4" but it's always best to start low and work up
Firefox Posted February 22, 2003 Posted February 22, 2003 Well maybe the easiest thing would be to get out with friends, or wait a bit or borrow/buy some of a friend. Then wear them around in the best of taste and she'll see them, and get used to it, or at least ask you about it. Then you just expalin that's the style you like, and the ice has been broken without the need for any "I've got something to tell you sessions".
squirrelheels Posted February 22, 2003 Posted February 22, 2003 Yeah, that's the way I did it. Just waltzed into the kitchen one Sunday lunchtime and waited for a comment. It came, I replied. Of course, if you don't already have heels, this could be a bit of a problem... There's never a right time with parents. Best to pick a time when she's least preoccupied with other things, and will have a bit of time to chat with you. You could start with something like "I'd like to go shoe shopping sometime, do you reckon you could come with me? I'm after something with a heel, is that ok?" sorta thing. Obviously, modify it to your tastes... But the important thing is that you ask her when she ISN'T busy or has things on her mind. And second to that is that you'll have at least 10 minutes to talk to her, otherwise you may as well not bother! Don't start off like this: "mum, i like wearing heels"... it's too quick, too hard hitting, and gives you no way of backing out. With the first statement I suggested, at least you can back out after the first sentence and if you're feeling wimpish. If you get her to agree to come with you, you can tell her about the fact you want heels on the way there. You may prefer to go with that option in the first place, but it's best to get it out of your system all in one go! Hope that helps SH Hi! I'm a signature virus! Copy me into your sig and help me spread!
Firefox Posted February 22, 2003 Posted February 22, 2003 I'd say it was easier to wear them. I know it seems crazy but after the first time you'll wonder what you were worryng about. The first time I did it when my mum was around, was when I was about 22 or so. A bit older than you, but the principle is still the same. That's what you want to wear, and that's your business, though up to 18 parents have more influence so it pays to be accommodating somewhat.
squirrelheels Posted February 23, 2003 Posted February 23, 2003 I suppose that's one way of doing it. Stick with whatever you feel best with, and the way with which you will feel most confident. If that's the way you wanna do it, go for it! As for the clothes, ease her into it gently! Let her get used to the heels first, then think about skirts and other things further down the line... You might need to think about introducing the clothes when you're a bit older. She might not like you wanting looking "like a tart" (British word, could be translated as "hooker") when you're only 13... a lot of mum's don't want that for their daughers, let alone sons! SH Hi! I'm a signature virus! Copy me into your sig and help me spread!
azraelle Posted February 23, 2003 Posted February 23, 2003 You could invite a couple of your supporting girl friends and your mother to go shopping for some shoes, and sort of have them lead into the conversation that you would like a pair of girl's hi-heel boots 'cause they don't make them high enough in men's styles. Alternatively you might get your mother to take you and your girlfriends to the mall for a movie or shopping trip, and have her pick you up 2-3 hours later--she might go for it if she knew you would be there with friends (not alone). "All that you can decide, is what to do with the time that is given you."--Gandalf, "Life is not tried, it is merely survived -If you're standing outside the fire."--Garth Brooks
squirrelheels Posted February 23, 2003 Posted February 23, 2003 Pretty sound suggestions, azraelle! Some mothers are quite ignorant... My ex girlfriend's mum was... She thought cinemas were innocent! However your mum/mom might be quite different, she might not like you going to the cinema with a whole load of girls! But it's worth a shot anyway. Go for it SH Hi! I'm a signature virus! Copy me into your sig and help me spread!
azraelle Posted February 23, 2003 Posted February 23, 2003 I guess I am (quite innocent) too SH. Never thought about it quite that way before (not even when I was married--unusual places never really was the kind of turn-on that it apparently was/is to others). But what are you going to do in a movie theatre with a couple of girls at the age of 13 that you couldn't do more easily someplace else, assuming you're of such a mind? It's not like they might wind up pregnant--too many people, not enough space, etc., etc.. I don't know whether to thank you or curse you--gawd, what an eye-opening paradigm split you've just caused in me! "All that you can decide, is what to do with the time that is given you."--Gandalf, "Life is not tried, it is merely survived -If you're standing outside the fire."--Garth Brooks
Firefox Posted February 23, 2003 Posted February 23, 2003 It's a bit easier if you just wear heels. I find that is quite easily accepted at work, home, social etc etc. If you are talking about X-dressing then I can't speak from personal eperience, but I have read that those people can have a hard time if they do it in everyday life. It comes down to trying to be something you aren't. Most X-dressre want to pretend to be women, at least temporarily, whereas most male heel wearers just like the shoes, or at least are content with the shoes. I'm not saying the judgements by which people accept these things are right, but that's how they tend to react.
Highluc Posted February 24, 2003 Posted February 24, 2003 It comes down to trying to be something you aren't. Most X-dressre want to pretend to be women, at least temporarily, whereas most male heel wearers just like the shoes, or at least are content with the shoes For me I just like to be who I really am, wearing heels or even a skirt has nothing to do with pretending to be a women. Besides my masculine I just have a strong feminine side as well. Wearing some items mostly sold and targetted for the feminine gender is part of the necessary expression to allow both my sides to live in harmony. I'm sure lots of guys have some similar feelings but most are afraid to give in to their needs. The ones who go public often get rude comments by the ignorent and intollerant society, forcing them into trying to disguise completely as a women in order to attract less attention on the streets. Of course there are also true crossdressers with other desires but believe me that's why so much honest transgenders are forced by society to become transvestites. Be youself, enjoy any footwear you like and don't care about what others think about it, it's your life, not theirs. Greetings from Laurence
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