mlroseplant

I haven't seen shoes like that in years. I didn't find them particularly attractive in the 1990s, but I was rather impressed that girls wore them literally everywhere. Even to work in the grocery store, or for an entire shift as a waitress. Of course now, it doesn't seem nearly that impressive, but at the time.  .  .

Yeah, that's the thing, we're not pretenders here. When we wear heels, we actually wear heels. I cannot and will not claim to wear 12 cm "all the time," because that would be a lie. However, I do feel comfortable in 10 cm (4 inch) pretty much indefinitely. I haven't had the opportunity for a heeling marathon for quite a while, but I'm pretty confident in that assertion.

@bluejay, I seem to recall some stories about how you have been harassed about your fashion choices in the past. Perhaps recounting one of those would be helpful in this situation. I don't think you're the type of person to put up with it much.

I too have been harassed by teenagers, though not for a long time. What I find it that when you engage them in a friendly way, they tend to melt pretty quickly. It's also nice to know that people actually pay attention to outfits you have gone to a great deal of trouble to create.

Let me get this straight: Heels "help you stride through the world," but at the same time "the risk of falling is not far away." And 12 cm? Never actually seen them in real life (I mean, besides me). Even on social media, there are precious few who can actually walk well in them. Many try, few succeed. At the moment, I include myself in the many. I hate to beat up on the new guy, but I going to--most of the above post, while admittedly rather charming, is nonsense.

In my personal experience, there are very few women who wear (or used to wear) heels as a way to attract attention. Not zero, but approaching zero. I personally wear them because I like them, nothing more, nothing less. I can remember a conversation I had with a young college boy, who was with his girlfriend at the time. The kid stopped me on the street and earnestly asked about my footwear. He wasn't being mean, I believe he was genuinely curious. At one point he asked me, "Do you wear heels to get attention?" I replied, perhaps somewhat rudely, "No. Actually, I rather wish people would leave me the hell alone." Even then, he didn't get the hint. I have no idea what the girl was thinking, she didn't say a word the whole time. If I wanted attention, I don't think I'd want it from a socially awkward kid.

5 hours ago, Tech said:

Something I'd really like to change if possible...

I wouldn't mind that either, but I'm trying to figure out how that might happen, given the current state of things. Just glancing at the last few subjects in the "Guys" and "Everybody" topics, what are the main subjects? "I am afraid to wear heels in public," "I gained the courage to wear heels in public," "I gained more courage to wear these outrageous heels in public," "I actually got compliments on my shoes and outfit by the general public."

There is definitely some amount of material that women might be interested in, but it seems that largely we just talk about being accepted, and there is nothing wrong with that. How can we make ourselves more attractive to women? HA! Story of my life.

I understand your pain, but alas, I cannot feel your pain, being a reliable UK 7, sometimes even a 6.5. I haven't looked into trainers for quite a while, but last time I looked, they were pretty much huge and ugly, even the women's.

I can't disagree with you about anything you've said--well, except for the part about wearing flats. Who would ever want to do that? Nevertheless, I hope you do realize that nearly 100% of your audience on this site is male.

22 hours ago, pebblesf said:

I find that much of my "timidness" in my various stiletto booties/boots is caused by being concerned about wrecking the heels prematurely while out and about.  I have spoiled a few heels on my favorite pairs which was very upsetting.  So, I think I tend to "walk gently" in my boots, without even thinking about it, in an attempt to avoid ruining them.  I'm thinking this works against progress in the long run though.  

On a positive note, was wearing my 3.5" block heeled ankle boots in Home Depot yesterday, these boots are great for everyday chores, shopping, etc.  Super easy to walk in, without the worry of damaging stiletto heels.  Was trying to navigate the damn self check out, god forbid you try to pay with cash!  A very nice younger attendant came by to help then complimented my boots.  I spent a minute or so chatting with him and thanking him for taking the time to compliment me.  

I have definitely eased up on my shoes over the years as far as the wear. I don't necessarily break fewer shoes than I did before, but the heel tips do not wear out nearly as fast as they used to. It's not that I walk timidly, I just walk more gently, as you suggest. Specifically, I don't do a hard heel strike anymore, and a lot of that has to do with ankle flexibility that I've developed over the last decade. Nevertheless, I basically have only one pair of stilettos that I wear for occasional walking, and I have posted a picture here. They actually measure 120 mm high, but are the most walkable shoes I have at that height. I use them as practice shoes to help me walk better in my higher shoes. I also wore them to church last week in deference to Pride Month. Unfortunately, the sanctuary was decorated weirdly for vacation bible school, and nobody could see my feet. Anyhow, I got 9 miles out of the stock heel tips, and over 16 out of the replacements. I'm on 30 miles total for those shoes. To put that in perspective, that's twice the mileage I used to get out of stiletto heel tips, and I don't think the quality of the product has changed significantly in the last 10 years. My non-stiletto heel caps have experienced the same relative increase in service life.

I like the self checkout at the grocery store (because I can bag my groceries my way in my own cloth bags), but I hate self checkout anyplace else. Actually, if they'd do like they do in most of Minnesota, and have a regular checkout but self-bag, I'd prefer that.

On edit: It occurred to me that in small file size, it may not be obvious that my mules, though predominately black, are rainbow colored.

Cali and I agree very strongly that there isn't a reason to wear heels that don't feel good. Having said that, I have two different types of shoes in my collection these days. I have my walking shoes, and I have my church shoes. The walking shoes basically have no time limit. The church shoes, depending on several factors, might only be good for several hours, especially the 12 cm variety. But none of them actually hurt my feet.

Thanks for the shout-out! I also find that height to be challenging, so your story and experience has inspired me to get my act together, so to speak. In a perfect world, I would wear 12 cm stilettos everywhere, but as we are well aware, it is not a perfect world.

As a final followup to this thread, I have now worn the Elisabet Tang/GenShuo pumps out in public, and I can say that they're pretty decent for the money. I don't know if you pulled the trigger on that lot of them a month or so ago, but I think they would be well worth the money, provided that they actually fit. Both pairs I got had to spend some considerable time on the shoe stretcher. One thing that impresses me is that despite being fairly aggressive with the enbiggening device, nothing came loose, nothing broke, and the material didn't pucker permanently, as is often the case. They look and walk better than they have any right to at that price point.

Still no interaction between me and my high school classmate. I can't really blame him, he's got some major health issues going on right now, but it still seems strange to me that a guy I actually hung out with back in the day would boldly ask a question, and then not really react to the answer. On the other hand, the last time I actually saw the man, in my mid 20s, I was playing a gig at a bar with my band, and our drummer, 6 foot 4 and an imposing presence, had threatened to do harm to him. My last in-person mental image of him was his backside as he was running out the door. By the way, he deserved it.

In other news, I'm still working overtime at the data center, and I have been getting up very early in the morning so that I can get my walks in. It's the only way. If I try to do it in the evenings, it ain't happening. I'm not good for anything after supper. I posted in the "New Shoes" thread, but I'll share some more photos of my Pentecost Sunday outfit. There's nothing really special about it, other than the red color, which is the liturgical color for that day. Now we're back to Ordinary Time until Advent, so everything will remain green for a long time. I've never felt comfortable taking pictures of myself, but I've tried some new poses that I picked up from social media. I hope I don't look like a complete idiot.

Fake patent leather stretches even less, which is why I had to be fairly mean to these shoes with the shoe stretcher to even get my feet in there. I probably should stick to Steve Madden, because size 9 is actually size 9, at least for the moment.

I haven't bought any new shoes in over three months. However, I have several pair purchased in 2024 which have not made it onto this thread. Up for your consideration today are my red Genshuo pumps in fake patent leather. I also have these in beige/tan/nude, whatever you want to call that neutral color. I originally bought the beige pair to replace my Steve Madden Klory pumps, which had developed a wonky heel. Because I have several pair that are similar, I suppose ebay's algorithm pushed inexpensive pumps to my feed. I bit.

Not a week later, I saw the red pair and had to have them. This shade of red is just brilliant, and that in combination with the super slim heel got to me. Speaking of which, the heel is a full 4 3/4" tall, so I can say I have 120s, though I think a true 120 would actually be more like 125 mm in my size. The heel width is quite slim at around 7.5 mm.

The problem with these shoes is that they are really too small for me. I usually take a 9, but I could probably use a 9 1/2 in these. I don't think they make half sizes, but at any rate, the shoe stretcher has allowed me to wear them in reasonable comfort. I wore them to church (red for Pentecost Sunday), and had them on for about 3 hours. I could have gone longer, but that was plenty, especially considering that I'm not really ready for heels that high. I can walk, but reviewing the livestream footage, it's not especially pleasant to watch. I'm not awkward enough to be embarrassing, but not graceful enough to meet my standards. Workin' on it.

One last note. These are the quietest stilettos I've ever worn or heard. They are eerily silent, even on tile floors. That just seems wrong.

Good luck to you in your recovery. It looks like you've got some pretty solid stuff there--nothing too crazy, but stylish and very nice looking. I don't love wedges either, but they do have their practical purposes!

I too have wondered why I have heard that same comment over and over again, "Oh, I can't wear heels." Or, alternatively, "I can't wear heels anymore." I understand that there are some valid physical reasons why somebody can't wear heels, or at least not for very long. However, thinking back to my own experience, I think a lot of these obstacles can be overcome. It's just that overcoming the physical challenge of wearing heels requires a lot of work, and I don't think most women want to put in that kind of effort. Or perhaps it would never occur to them that it's a skill rather than just a fashion choice.

In any case, it's generally a conversation that can't go well. This is why I tend to say very little in reply to such comments, and do much as you did, saying something like, "Ehhh, they're really not all that bad."

It almost hurts to think about, but at the time I was just an apprentice, and the year did not start with a "2." I learned a lot on that job. Not only about how to be an industrial electrician, but how to get along with people as well. There were people from all over the world on that job.

The reason I don't see so many heels is because I spent the majority of my waking hours at a construction site. Having said that, I can remember back in the day when a building was nearly complete, the owner would give tours to groups of people (I always assumed that they were employees/bosses at the company). Invariably, there would be several women in high heels during tours through a building under construction. I can recall another job site I worked on where the female engineer would show up every week to check things out in 4 inch block heeled boots. That was the Barilla pasta plant, and the engineer was actually from Italy. That may have had something to do with not only her footwear, but her impeccable sense of style, despite being on a construction site. The concrete floors were in by that time. It's not like she was stepping over clods of dirt in heels.

I'm going to hazard a guess that nothing's ever going to come of this strange little interaction. No reply to my last transmission for two days. Just a "like." I've got better things to do.

Got a strange message on social media a couple of days ago. It was a friend from high school who asked in a private message, "Hey look--I am in no position to judge anyone, but I was wondering when you decided to wear women's shoes... Are they comfier, because my feet hurt." This really seems a little off to me for an initial contact message. No "Hey, how's it going? It's been years and years!" or anything like that.

As I had accepted his contact request maybe a month ago, I can only assume that he picked up on one of the remarklably few photos of me that show my shoes, and none of those really feature the shoes. After I came home from work, I messaged him with some short answers, and he responded to them with similarly short answers. I'm quite sure he was otherwise occupied, because the conversation trailed off rather abruptly. I'm glad I did not invest a whole lot of time into an explanation. We'll see what happens in the days to come.

14 hours ago, Shyheels said:

I was talking to some people at the boatyard this morning and heard that in a conversation the other day I was described as the guy in the green boat who always wears tall boots. I’m getting known …

As you will in a smaller community. I know it wasn't your intention when you started this thread, but it seems that we are the people mostly seen out and about.

22 hours ago, pebblesf said:

Don't do that to yourself.  You have taken good care of yourself and look better than many younger folks.  So sorry the wife isn't a bit more supportive, I have similar issues with my better half.  

10 hours ago, Shyheels said:

I certainly don’t think you’re delusional, or if you are then I happen to share the same delusion as I think you look quite presentable in heels, always thoughtfully put together - and I say that as someone whose own personal tastes do not run to sandals or pumps.

telling someone they are delusional in terms of their style or appearance and its affect on others is undermining and cruel. And irrelevant as the only opinion that matters in this situation is you. If you like the way you look, or how it makes you feel that’s what matters.

Using the word "delusional" is a translation from my wife's English to the King's English, but I think it's a pretty accurate one. The only thing that has changed in the last decade is the scope and intensity of her disdain. Before, she believed that every single person was staring at me every minute we were in public, and probably pointing and laughing. Now, she believes that every person who gives me a compliment is merely teasing me. There is, of course, a kernel of truth to both of these. I'm sure that a small percentage of the time, both are true. Let's face it, I'm not for everyone.

I would like to visit Toronto someday. It just hasn't been a priority. I even have relatives there, some of whom I've never met.

While out shopping the other day, I saw a woman wearing shorts with knee high boots. The boots are what I would call flat, but they did have modest separate heels maybe 1 1/2" tall. Her top was long sleeved and sort of flowy. The shorts were short, but not shockingly so. I approved of her outfit in theory, but something seemed a little off. It was when I met her in another aisle that I realized that the woman had to be at least 60, and possibly more. She was with another younger woman who appeared to be her daughter. The daughter was dressed normally for an American in sweatpants and a t-shirt at least one size too big.

Because of hair dye and good physical appearance, I had at first assumed the woman was much younger, and yet there was this indescribable quality that made me think, "Why does this outfit look less than awesome on her?" Don't get me wrong, I'm not being ageist, I don't believe there is an age when women should dress a certain way, or stop dressing a certain way, but this was not really happening for her, even though I cannot point to any one thing.

I wouldn't have thought another minute about this encounter, which did not involve any conversation or contact, but here I am, days later, thinking about it for one rather selfish reason: Do I look like that when I'm out and about? I know I shock people for a completely different reason, but I think I do the shorts thing rather better. Perhaps I am delusional, as my wife has insisted I am for some time.