Histiletto

If only the fashion cycles would bring back some of the exact styling and looks of the late 50's, early 60's, and some of the 80's and 90's high spike heels that proved to be the best of the alluring classics. They have made our hearts yearn to feel their caress and long to accent our appearance as we gracefully move along our pathways. It's styles like these:

that encourage us to wear high heels in making life seem a bit brighter and worth the effort. 

My legs to torso ratio makes wearing high heels an equalizing necessity, proportionately. I still fall a little short of being 6 feet tall, even in 4.5 inch equivalent high stiletto heels that only raise me about 2.7 inches plus the thickness of the platforms. As for the study survey, it may entertain a slight interest, but I don't find it to be credible in the least nor do I go along with the comments, for they are preference based. 

Hey p1ng74! Congratulations on buying more sensibly high wedge heels for your first pair. Most guys seem to buy high heels as though they are wanting to touch the stars, which usually takes longer to learn how to walk gracefully at such heights.  

Not being a fashion follower per-sa, I'm more apt to get the styles that fit my taste, rather than purchase by the styles that are in fashion or trending. Furthermore, for the past 3 to 4 years, most of the trends or brands I use to buy haven't been over all motivators for giving me any reason to buy the wares presented, even when I can afford them. Lately, I have found a few pairs that have been pre-worn at least once or twice that more than filled this void, but the use life of most high heels is short, especially when I wear stilettos like these regularly. 

The average 4" high heel will only raise me about 2.5", while 6" high heels will possibly raise me to a little over 2.8". It doesn't seem to be much of a gain just looking at the height increase on a tape measure, but this distance makes my world seem better in heels. When in heels, I have less of a problem reaching things on the top shelves of the kitchen upper cabinets. Without heels, its a bit more of a moments inconvenience. I also notice once in a while, the difference perspectives in heights when standing at kitchen counters or in front of the bathroom mirror. In stiletto heels with platforms, the height difference increases the thickness of the platform. So 1.5" platforms will raise me around 4.3" taller than being barefooted when wearing 7.5" platformed stiletto pumps. I have noticed that most platformed heels have the equivalency of 4" high heels plus the platform thickness, which kind of annoys me, because in my mind platforms shouldn't be used until after the maximum heel height limit of the wearer has been reached or the heel height is already in the extreme sloping range for the size of the footwear. In the larger than average size footwear, the 4" equivalent height has more of a mid high heel sloping than a high heel.   

I found them on a consignment outlet called RealReal on the internet. (therealreal.com) At this site, people are looking to sale their wares. So I am lucky to have popped in at the right time and saw these Giuseppe Zanotti Design, 5" Stiletto Pumps for sale. There are many designer heels and less known brands to pick from. The only draw backs are that there items have usually been worn or used at least once and the seller only had the one. There is a chance other sellers might have the same item they want to sell, but the appareling size may be different.  

The perfect high heeled pumps are three dimensionally detailed and imprinted into my memory and I have searched for them with out much success. Fashions are suppose to recycle every 20 to 30 years, so I keep hoping and dreaming for their return. Meanwhile, I have found substitutes that I consider are in the ball park of coming close, otherwise I wouldn't have any heels to wear. Recently, I was able obtain this pair of pumps:      Which made my day when I first saw being depicted. They still aren't my ultimate dream heels, but they are so attractive, even more so as I gaze upon them as they support my posterior. The toe boxes may be pointed, but the way they form the point correlates directly with the curve the end of my toes make, so my toes don't feel crowded. I want to wear them constantly and I also want them to last forever. What a conundrum to succeed at both. Luckily, I have similar styles to wear that can help my conflicted situation.  

Whether the need to wear high heels is from taste, want, passion, obsession, fetish, or addiction, the level of need was increased because of not being able to satisfy the desire. There are many men and women who have quite a quantity of heels within their wardrobe selections. Had high heels been a choice for only the very rich, there would have been more women being perceived and labeled with the same increased degrees of need as the males choosing to wear heels have been perceived .

To me it is more of an obsession that never seems to be completely satisfied. The fact that I was denied many opportunities in my youth to buy and wear high heels openly has contributed to my mind-set of getting all the high heels that do a little more than tickle my fancy. Once I'm allured to a pair that fits well, I tend to buy as many as I can before they are sold out. 

Slipping into these heels after a hard day at work, I can really relax in refreshing style and comfort  

This is a good promotion for men wearing high heels. Ashley Maxwell-Lim is inspiring and hopefully more men will see their taste to wear heels as part of a positive approach to living a full life, instead of surrendering to the diminished existence brought on by the misguided social standards that has been programming and forcing people to comply or be shamed for wanting to make natural choices.

My first recollection of the footwear I preferred, happened when I was toddler of about 30 to 33 months. My sister had brought home the day before a pair of Mary Jane black patent leather shoes, a lot like these:  which I really liked more than the brown leather high tops I had been given. The next morning as I arose, my mom told me to get ready for an activity at the church. After bathing and getting dressed, my thought was to put on the Mary Janes so they would be mine to wear for the day. Everything seem to be going smoothly until my sister woke up and realized I was wearing them. A quarrel broke out and the footwear I had thought were mine, were given to my sister. Need I say anything about not being happy with this arrangement. No matter how much I cried and protested, the high tops were forced upon me and my understanding of mine was shattered, but my desire to wear them grew. Later on, when I saw chances to wear them, they'd be on my feet, even when it was during bedtime. There was no shortage of squabbles, because of this and the relationship with my sister became really strained over time until she out grew them. You guessed it, I immediately claimed possession of my preferred footwear when she brought home another pair. The time that ensued was like heaven on earth, because I was wearing the footwear of my dreams. Where ever I existed, the Mary Janes were securely on my feet with only a very few exceptions. Also, the practice of boys wearing Mary Janes was still a fashionable look, but I wasn't aware of this. I just knew I loved wearing them and my understanding of getting them replaced with another pair of Mary Janes was a certainty, since my sister got another pair. Life couldn't have been sweeter! Then the day came for my Mary Janes to be replaced. With an elated anticipation, I walk up to the shoe display and chose them. What do you mean no? Haven't I showed you how much I want them? OH! NO! You're going to make me wear high tops again! Doesn't what I want have the same importance as sis's? I guess I'm not worth much of anything to you, but my desire to wear them is still with me. For the next decade plus, I learned to connive, deceive, and lie to try and get some moments of satisfaction for my desire. I didn't trust any one and no one seem to care enough to cause a difference. I was alone in crowds, that had programs for achievement, but they didn't really motivate me to excel. Others would be wearing Mary Janes and oh how I wished I was them. My sister has probably been the most victimized during this time for I constantly invaded her space, which I now regret, because we are so distant in our relationship and I wasn't able to be there for her when she needed someone.

Moving on, my desire developed into the obsession, which included high heeled pumps. As a teenager, there were many situations that I took advantage for the wearing of heels. I learned the size I needed and how they felt to wear. I finally earned enough money to purchase my own heels, which looks similar to this pump: All this activity was done under the guise of secrecy. With these obsessed feelings, I entered adulthood, trying to cope with everything, while still feeling alone and still satisfying the importance I felt for me to wear heels, I pressed on. I've made a decent living with achievements and less rewarding situations to overcome. Through it all, I still have the taste and desire to wear high spike heeled pumps and I love how it feels in fulfilling this. Yes, I have left out a lot of personal things, events, and activities, but you have enough to know why I love to wear high heels.

Thanks Amanda, for your words of perspective. Hopefully they will develop into the same kind of motivation for men that men used that encouraged women into the suffrage for equality and breaking the social stigma of only being long dress wearers that mostly hid their footwear.

The Dremel is probably the best small power tool anyone can have in their home tool set-up. If there is a conceivable way to use it, usually you can make an attachable gig to accommodate the process using the accessories available. The expense may dent your budget at the time, but in the long run, it returns a hundred times over in convenience, self-confidence, and being able to get the results you expect. Flushing the heel tips with the heel shape becomes an easy pass with the right sanding or grinding bit and a home made attachable and adjustable gig that removes only the excess or unwanted part of the tip. With many of my stiletto heels being so thin, I've been able to reduce the diameter of the metal heel tip replacements to fit these stilettos. I'm sure I've saved the cost of the Dremel by doing this, instead of taking them to the repair shop.  

It should be a given - If your heel tips are less than 9mm in diameter and you want to wear them for lengthy distances (like miles) on normal concrete walkways, you have to carry or have handy extra tips and the tools for replacements accessible where ever you are. Otherwise, you'll have to carry or at least have access to other pairs of back-up pumps in which buying them on the way may also be an option for those who can afford the time and expense. 

***Warning*** Be careful doing this procedure!!!! May be better for a shoe repair person to do this. However, I've had some heel tip post break off almost flush with the surface of the seat hole. Using a precision grinding bit, I make a centered depression in the exposed post. Then with a 1/16" drill bit for metal, I bore a hole through the post center so that I can bore incrementally a larger hole area with larger bits until either the post can be slipped out or totally bored out at the size needed for the replacement heel tip. Usually the hole becomes off-centered enough that the post is drilled away at a side point and the rest of the post can be extracted or falls out. If the hole is made too big, a metal sleeve needs to be inserted to correct this, depending on the area of the heel's capping surface there is left to work with. So again, be careful!

On ‎11‎/‎21‎/‎2017 at 2:27 AM, JeffB said:

Perhaps this is a bias on my part, but whenever I see those sort of pencil thin heels, I invariably wonder how they could support someone's weight without snapping like twigs. I know I wouldn't have had the courage to wear such shoes back in May when I was a whopping 243 pounds, and even though I've lost fifty pounds since then, I'd still be leery of them.

For about a decade after the stiletto style heels were introduced, many of them did break, bend, or become detached from the sole at the seat, but now the chances of these damages happening are rare, at least with good quality heels. My weight may not be under yours by much, but I worry more about the scrapes, gouges, soft or penetrable surfaces, and replacing the heel tips, which seems to be almost an every other wear day necessity when I wear the same thin heels a few times.

Good choice hernaezjames,

These Lava Heart Pumps are really nice looking.

If I'm not mistaken, the Kate Spade "Licorice" Pump is the basic style of these high heels with the heart emblem applied. 

I agree that good stiletto heels do feel just as sturdy and reliable as block heels. However, I have to qualify the concept of good. With most of today's fashion heels, the support of the heel seems to hold up the back of the shoe and not necessarily the heel nor the ankle of the wearer. Since the support from the heel isn't perpendicularly centered under the forward section of the wearer's heel, the amount of work needed to land each step also increases. The sound made by the shoes a toddler wears, until the action of their ankles are strengthened enough to coordinate the fall of the sole is the same action high heelers have to deal with while high heeling. Putting the support of the stiletto heel under the wearer's heel lessens the time and leveraging the ankle has to manipulate holding the foot in suspension after the heel tip contacts the surface. The aesthetic beauty of the shoe backed heels isn't that alluring either, at least to me. When the idea of the stiletto is merges with the styling of the spike heel, the perfect high heel shaping results. These heels are my examples of the aesthetically beautiful spike/stiletto heels:    

Many years ago, I purchased a pair of Fuss High Heel Pumps, but the heels weren't as thin as the ones you have presented. However, some of my other brands with heels this thin and comparatively tall, a few have come loose at their seating with the sole and a couple have cracked horizontally about mid way down. Of course, the rubber or plastic heel tips barely last any lengthy walking distance and walking a mile requires at least one heel tip replacement for each stiletto heel during the walk and then again at the end even on the best of surfaces. Most high heels, especially stilettos, are worn as formal show and exhibition footwear, not for long hikes, on rugged terrains, nor in heavy and laborious uses.  

The wearing of heels is more of a matter of taste. It is anybody's guess as to why or how such tastes initialize and not every person experiences this desire. Even when the social expectation and dictation highly encourages or forces people to wear them, doesn't mean those people had or got the taste for wearing heels. In fact, the act of forcing people to do things often leads to a rejection or hatred of that which is perceived as being forced. So, this understanding could be applied through out the existence/history of mankind as social attitudes and standards meandered under the knowledge/myths/superstitions, class distinctions, roles, and technologies of the periods. 

They are made for the people who surgically had one of their toe assemblies (joints and all) removed from each foot for there are only four slots for four toes showing with each shoe. If it is real - well, another entry into the freakish look is all I can say about this pair of strange footwear. 

The Idea of talking with your girlfriend about this is a good start. You might be able to find others, groups, or activities that would be accepting and embrace men wearing high heels in your area. Organize and put on a costume party or cross dressed scavenger dinner hunt with friends. Hope this helps!

It is easy to get on "see shoe" buying or accumulating sprees to satisfy the inner cravings for heels or anything a person experiences. As Steve 63130 so aptly reminded us, there is no "need" for wearing heels. There are must have perspectives developed or dependent on the intensity of the desire to be satisfied, pleased, comforted, and/or completed. This is one of the direct effects from the personality tastes that naturally exist in each person. 

At some point every wearer of high heels has to make the tuff decision on some shoes to bear or work through any discomfort until they or the shoes become comfortable or to initiate a separation of sorts. Having to part with heel that you adore is harder than working through the familiarization process only to find you just can't or shouldn't wear them period. Which may be the more satisfying path, because you tried every possibility you could think of to succeed in wearing them comfortably.

The basic argument against Nicola Thorp stems from the fact that society has traditionally interceded over the natural right of individual agencies to choose their own appearance. Like Nicola, everyone has been the recipient of the social attitude that feels the need to put people in social situations where their right to choose what they wear is violated. Dress codes should be applied only in situations that involve safety and/or harm issues within the business environments that don't normally deal with any public interaction according to their work requirements, but for most aesthetic reasons - it's the individual's choice.  

Hey caultron! Welcome to the forum and I'm looking forward to reading your discussion comments. 

cgllc1860, 

The supporting comments you have received have been invaluable. I hope they help you and your wife to find the right directions in finding a solution both of you can live with. You wife probably knows you better than you think, so give her the love and respect she expects. It's the small things that will be important. A smile, an ear full of sweet nothings, leaving notes of intrigue, comfort, and love in obvious places, doing things that helps her day go smoother, lets her know she is the only real important part of life you have reason to live for. The allure of heels has become a realization in your life, probably as much as she has also been affected by their beauty and the way they make her feel. However, the time and the program for the wearing of heels has been part of her growing up, while you haven't been able to go through the same type of process because of the social attitude. Men and women are not as different as we have been led to think. Just as you want to wear attractive footwear to feel special, she most likely wants to wear her favorites also for the same special experience. Let's quit seeing each other as aliens and realize we are individuals with our own set of desires and tastes that are naturally connected with the need for satisfaction. These are the type of things marriage partners have to opportunity to share with each other and then seeing them fulfilled together gives life more treasures to look forward in satisfying. It's the small things that bind or erode a marriage.