Style mistakes (faux pas)

[fastfreddy2]

Faux pas ......

These remarks are addressed to people living in the UK alone. I have no experience of those living outside the UK, except some short term experience of other Europeans, so my remarks are about us Brits only.

I was pointed at this post very recently:

I wonder sometimes if guys in here understand that it's okay to by fashionably imperfect. Think Kate Moss.

Something is almost always off--messy hair, mismatched accessories, wrinkled shirts. YET, she always looks amazing.

You don't have to be ready for a photo shoot to go out in the world and wear high heels. You don't have to perfectly imitate the rebelliousness and raunchiness of the Rolling Stones to look good. Nor do you have to perfectly imitate The Sex Pistols' spiked leather jackets, torn stockings, and pierced bodies.

Your look can't appear staged...It has to look effortless.

So where do you begin? Have you ever been inspired by someone who walked into a room or down the street, that you had to take a second look over? Confidence captivates people.

I'd say begin with confidence that you respect yourself in heels, love yourself in heels, and dress for yourself and nobody else. Have you ever seen a 6' tall woman in stilettos? I have. And I was "wowed", because she had a great attitude.

I think style is being confident about who you want to be and going out and seeking inspirations for that. It could be people from your childhood (my mom always wore blazers), from your travels (Parisian effortless elegance in heels for me please), art (look at YSL's Mondrian dress...YSL took Mondrian's idea and fitted it to the female form), music (in the 90's Marc Jacobs saw Cobain in a plaid flannel shirt...then bought a $2 version of it on St. Mark's Place, had it shipped to Italy, and had the plaid pattern made into silk. And the birth of the high end version of "Nirvana" ensued).

This is one of the benefits of living in a big city....soo much inspiration everywhere...New York...definitely London (Brick Lane/Shoreditch/Hoxton may be passe for you locals, but avid tourists like me still find many style muses there).

So find some inspiration! Wooohooo.

zzz...it's 12:37 am and I have to work tomorrow morning...signing off.

DOUBLE EDIT: wanted to add a quick story about an encounter I had with Marc Jacobs. As you may or may not recall, a few months ago I spent the evening with a gorgeous 5'11" blonde swapping clothes. We went through her entire wardrobe...mostly high end designer stuff...and I walked off with a grey sweater dress with the most amazing geometric triangular avant-garde collar...

and ran into Marc Jacobs on the street. Of course I had to approach him and say hello. But before a word came out of my mouth, Mr. Jacobs exclaimed, "Nice dress!"

HA! How is that for a good attitude?

And I realised how far away some of us are, from my world.....

I'd say easily, 90-95% of UK men are clueless to how to put an outfit together. Most young people here prefer ultra comfortable clothing, that completely excludes itself from any style statement at all. Baggy grey 'sweat-suits' still seem remarkably common here. Shops that ONLY sell trainers are still popular. I suspect people here who wear sports clothes, believe wearing them will make them look sporty?

The dress code for going out in the evening seems to be:

Girls; Highest heels, shortest skirts in wardrobe.

Boys; black trousers, shirt. Haircut.

Any colour combination is acceptable. Any pattern combination is acceptable. Sizing isn't an issue. If it doesn't fall off, it fits.

Neither Kate Moss, or Marc Jacobs is in my social circle, but even they would struggle to look good in some of the outfits I see on a daily basis.

My personal style isn't great. I'm limited by financial constraints mostly due to sinking every penny earned back into my business. Even so, I'd struggle to spend serious money on clothes, and my social life no longer justifies it. [if ever it did.] But I do know enough to understand what fits, and what colours work. I know how to 'flatter' my shape, and give me the appearance of someone who has given a couple of minutes thought to what they put on in the morning.

I don't look like Kate Moss, or Sienna Miller, so I'm not going to look good with a style faux pas. Jeez, I struggle to look acceptable even at my best. I'm confident, [had a 16PF test that said I was] but even I couldn't get away with wearing a bright red blaser over vivid green trousers. And contrary to the inference of the quoted text above, going out feeling good in an outfit that (actually) makes me look like an escapee from a pantomime, is something I hope those close to me would try to stop.

Members here put up pictures of themselves for a number of reasons. Two I can think of, is (a) want to 'show-off' and outfit they are proud of, and (( are looking for help/advice on how to improve how they look. I'm not sure there are many who are in the ( category, but I feel there are some in (a) that belong in (......

I'm someone who is always happy to tell someone they look great when they do, and tell them they might look better in something else. Patentheels, is someone I can think of, who has taken my remarks about this in the well-meant-spirit they were given. The rapport has allowed me to enjoy his style, and hopefully keep him away from 'pacman' socks.

Not everyone welcomes this sort of advice though. While being (always) respectful, I've tried to draw attention to the opportunity for improvement if it hasn't been discussed in the original post. Until recently I've been labouring under the understanding that debate is healthy? Maybe not. I'm not one given to falling for the The Emperor's New Clothes mentality, nor do I take pleasure in watching someone lost in fools paradise.

IT IS TRUE that someone who looks like Kate Moss can get away with dressing in an old sack and will still look good. But I don't look like her, do many of us? Consequently we have to think more than she does about how to make ourselves look attractive. Be as avant garde as you like, just don't expect to 'blend-in' anywhere unless you are out of the mainstream and inside your own microcosm of style.

Most of us here in the UK are on the outside of such a place. Most have work amongst hundreds of other people, all dressed as soberly as might be expected in such an old culture. Most have families, for the most part fairly conservative too. There are a few [say 5000 from 56 million] who wish to plough a course for themselves in Uber Fashion, but I doubt there are many of the male contingent in that number who are interested in wearing high heels. Certainly there doesn't seem to be a high ratio of them here. [Maybe benno, if any?]

For the rest of us with an interest, it's a case of trying to stay 'on-trend' with the physical limitations nature gave us. For even fewer (of us here), that would include finding some way to covertly include heels for use in the street.

Bottom line?

We could all improve our general look. [Clothes and personal grooming.] To make the most of what nature handicapped us with, we ought to be debating "looks", especially in this section. And we need to be willing to take advice on what's right (looks good) and what is a faux pas.

Footnote:

When I mention members in my posts, I usually PM them advice they are mentioned. This has not been possible with Benno.

.....

[PatentHeel]

I have always found fastfreddy2's advice to be very useful.

[thedesigner]

agreed, patentheel. And agreed, fastfreddy2....