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To tell or Not


thesnowball

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How does one go and tell either there family and/or friends...how does one begin to say that i like to wear heels....has any one have a bad experience telling somebody about wearing heels... the type of heel that I would be wearing around would be a black ankle boot with a 4 inch heel,with a rubber sole and a rubber tip that I glue on...very very quiet when walking...

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Well, I totally understand the meaning of "different strokes for different folks" so I'd say you probably need to use some discretion. :unsure: If your friends and family are totally opposed then you might not want to discuss it at all - just show up in some moderate (say, 2") heels sometime and take it from there. I think most people around here have had much more favorable responses that way then trying to discuss anything with anyone. 8) Of course, if you really want the get things rolling, try showing up in some 6" pink maribos while carrying a big boom box playing some loud latin salsa. :boxing: I promise that you'll get a response! 8)

Keep on stepping,

Guy N. Heels

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From my own experience of telling family and friends about me wearing skirts...

  • Work from the folks you most expect a positive response from, towards the ones you think you need to tell but don't want to. Each encounter will tell you something, that you can learn to make the later ones easier.
  • Pick your time, and be prepared to delay if something else happens and you judge it's a bad time. I wouldn't turn up in heels - it forces the timing. Don't use this as an excuse for never telling anyone, though.
  • Be confident, but not aggressive. This is easier if you expect a positive response, hence telling the people who you think will take it well first :-).
  • Accept that some people might not like what you're telling them, and might take it badly. For friends, that's not so bad - there are generally other friends out there for the making if it gets really bad. For family, it can be more of a problem - so I'd tell friends first and learn from it!
Over the last 5 years, I've gone from being secretive (and worried) to cheerfully going out to regular events in skirt'n'heels. Oh - and my parents-in-law are staying over next week. I'll be wearing skirts round the house, as I usually do. A big change! Still won't go over to my mum's in a skirt, though.

I've now left HHPlace. Feel free to use the means listed in my profile if you wish to contact me.

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I have worn a skirt both at christmas eve and at work one day, so basically they all know about my skirtwearing and it's not a topic anymore, even though they all think it's a bit weird. I don't feel the need to wear skirts around my family, but it better to come clean that to "get caught".

Just yesterday I went to visit my mother in a pair of flat pumps for the first time. Read here

What helped we with my mom was the way I didn't focus on it at all. I acted as I always would, giving the impression that it was no big deal to me (which of course it was).

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Thanks..I will try some of those adea's...For family,only 1 family member knows...my sister...why i told her,she has a huge heel liking too...and she thought that it was cool that i like heels too and wore them...as for other family members,will take time..and for friends...who knoew...like you said,all about timing...thanks to all... James

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Question: Why do you have to tell them? Why do you have to wear heels around them? Will they be open minded enough to accept it or will you get continual grief? Not questions that you need to answer to me, but to yourself. Best of luck to you.

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I have been wearing heels for a long time now...and have been wearing them around the house and goin out for supper and movies...I would like to wear them ever where...and not have to worry,heels are part of me...and would be cool to be accepted for me...and if some people are not open about it...then I would know who not to wear the heels around...

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The problem is that often people who are close to you (family and friends) will think that your disclosure about wanting to wear heels is just the tip of the iceberg. Ok, so you want to wear heels. What else? Tights? Girdles? Bras? Skirts? Wigs? Make-up? - Where does it stop? Crossdressing in public? Transgendering/sex-change operation? And the most common (and wrong) of all: Are you gay? Heels are just the edge of the slippery slope, as they see it. Be aware of this perception when/if you bring up the subject. Watch for alarms going off in their heads and steer the conversation accordingly. GWL

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