Magickman Posted January 28, 2006 Share Posted January 28, 2006 Public Perceptions Every now and then, I get an unfiltered response to my choice of heel boots. One woman e-mailed me, in response to something I wrote at Craigslist. So I wrote her back, and included a picture of my new Nine West boots. What did she do? I'll tell you what. She wrote, "I hope you're not trying to tell me you're gay??" That's what. What is it with some people? They see a pair of boots, and Shazzam! Suddenly, they have an instant analysis of sexual preference. That is just sooooooo wrong. Boots are fun! They are not gay! Girls, get over it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ShockQueen Posted January 28, 2006 Share Posted January 28, 2006 I don't get some people sometimes......for just that very reason. They see something that doesn't jive with their harmony and they think *poof!* They're GAY! No sexual inuendo, no outright statement..just a pair of boots! Wow...whod'a thunk that? I know clothing projects power, but wow...mind control too? Holy cow! Now we know how women have been doing it all these years! Hidden mind control! I'm kidding ladies...please don't take this seriously. Kinda makes me weep for the next generation - each recitation makes the stereotype more ingrained, and thus harder to pry out unless you have a freakin' crowbar to pull on with a dump truck. They're BOOTS for cryin' out loud! Get over it! Heels........they're not just for ladies anymore! SQ - going to get a real stiff drink after that one. SQ.....still busting societal molds with a smile...and a 50-ton sledge! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kneehighs Posted January 28, 2006 Share Posted January 28, 2006 I had a girl recently think I was gay also. In all seriousness, I sent her an email with a link to this optical illusion and a short explanation, "At first glance your first reaction will be to assume that the lines are not straight as you might assume I am gay. When you suspend that judgement and look more closely at the lines you will see that it was the surrounding environmental patterns of the checkered x's that cause the lines to falsely appear as crooked. Likewise, its equivalent socially constructed environmental patterns that influence you to think my sexual orientation line is crooked, when in fact it is straight. Look closely at the line and it is really straight." This may or may not work for your situation, but after I wrote that to this girl, the deal was done. She didn't need anymore explanation and never again assumed I was gay or bi. 3 minutes to write the email, CASE CLOSED for the entire future of our interaction. Feminine Style . Masculine Soul. Skin In The Game. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Danielinheels Posted January 29, 2006 Share Posted January 29, 2006 My mom had the same concern - she thought that wearing heels would evolve into wearing more female clothing items, and ultimately trying to attract men. Despite me stating the contrary several times, it never quite registered with her - she doesn't seem to understand that the only female article of clothing I'd like to own are shoes. Also, back when I was in Georgia and had first purchased those brown ankle strap heels, the girls there at the first Payless I'd gone to didn't even notice til I took the liberty to point it out. We talked a bit about the choice - whether my feet were hurting, if they fit okay, you know typical concerns that girls would ask each other about a new pair of dress shoes. Then the younger of the two girls asked me, "You don't think people will think you're gay?" I asked if she thought I was, and she said no, but that some people would erroneously make that assumption. I've never run into the gay concern aside from those two instances, but I'm sure it would happen more just from more trials. Be yourself; everyone else is already taken. - Oscar Wilde Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tuckedintoboots Posted January 29, 2006 Share Posted January 29, 2006 you know, that must be the origin of the so called "gay connection" thing with some people, in that the idea of the heels in the 1st place is to attract the OPPISITE sex, & so if a man wears them then he "MUST" be gay!! since it IS the FEMALE that is "supposed" to WEAR them!! (talk about strange behavior in humans) it does seem to turn some people's world upside down when this kind of thing comes in to THEIR world-you know it is after all only BOOTS!! (somthing to cover the human foot) perceptions of others can vary, but this is the way people are taught to think. (not logically about the REAL world, only that of their PARENTS) it is indeed mind boggling (to me @ least) how the evolution of heeled footwear went from MEN to WOMEN, & now it seems that this kind of footwear has ALWAYS been for women, (not true) when in fact is STARTED out as MENS wear!!! & when I (& you others no dought) can attest, the MENS shoe dept do NOT change EVER!!! :x but you look @ the WOMENS dept is footwear, & well my goodness theres MANY choices of styles in there!! there is NO logic to this @ all!! men still look good with pants tucked into the right boots! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bluetango Posted January 29, 2006 Share Posted January 29, 2006 Sexual boundaries seem to be fairly rigid for most people. One is either gay or straight. You're either a cross dresser or not. There are no gradations in their classifications or labels. Once they apply the label, and they apply the label quickly, they think they know everything about you. It makes life simple for the labeler, but the label is all wrong. In certain areas of life, the labeler exhibits flexibility. For example, one who breaks the law is often called a criminal and put in a category of people to be avoided and locked away. Unless the law is a law the labeler doesn't like - highway speed limits. Then we hear that one has to be reasonable and flexible about the boundaries. Kneehighs: I liked your response - the optical illusion shows how perceptions can be confused by the context. I think the issue lays one step beyond the context confusion - labeling a person based on just one data point is not accurate or fair. The behavior and beliefs of a person are too complex to be assessed from a single data point. I don’t have a good response to labeling, so I’ll probably spend the rest of the day trying to find one. One form of response might follow the speed limit analogy: Yes, I am stepping across a social boundary, but I see it as a fashion choice. When Julia Roberts wore boxers in “Step Mom” did anyone think she was cross-dressing and about to assume the appearance of a man? Julia Roberts can wear as much men’s clothing as she wants; she will always be a Julia and never a Jules. Bluetango So many shoes and only two feet. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kneehighs Posted January 29, 2006 Share Posted January 29, 2006 Kneehighs:...I think the issue lays one step beyond the context confusion - labeling a person based on just one data point is not accurate or fair. The behavior and beliefs of a person are too complex to be assessed from a single data point.... bluetango--I'm eagerly anticipating what you come up with! It's a false inductive generalization to be sure, or as formal logic would call it, a HASTY GENERALIZATION. Using the tree to judge the forest is another way of looking at it. I can't wait to see what you come up with. Feminine Style . Masculine Soul. Skin In The Game. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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