zepan Posted May 18, 2004 Share Posted May 18, 2004 Hi guys, First time post. How do I tell my wife I would like to wear heels? I have loved heels for many years and over that time had many pairs but due to the issues of living in the same house I’m unable to buy what I love, heels. She has some fantastic shoes of which I do admire but she’s a size 6 and I’m a 10 so my feet aren’t going to fit, I have tried. Come back to me if you have any ideas and share your personal stories if this has happened to you. M Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wineanddine Posted May 18, 2004 Share Posted May 18, 2004 Zepan: Others will probably have better advice, I can only tell you what I did. After a night of drinking and my wife was feeling particularly horny we came home and she informed me she was going into the bathroom to slip into something sexy. I knew that would take awhile so I went into the closet for a "hidden" pair of red pumps I had had for sometime but had never told her about. The lights were very low so it actually took her awhile to figure out I had on thigh high stockings and the heels. She was a little surprised but so revved up anyway that things went very very well. I think in an absolutely worst case scenario I could have dismissed the whole thing as being too drunk but never had to resort to that. Since then it is our "signal" now that each is ready to do something. Good luck, it is worth the try. Let us know what you decide on. Wineanddine Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sscotty727 Posted May 18, 2004 Share Posted May 18, 2004 Zepan, I would caution you to go slow but you definitely need to tell her. I am lucky in that I told my wife when we were still dating and after 18 years of knowing each other (14 married) it still causes some tension every now and then even after that much time. You know her best and can judge her moods. One suggestion someone else mention that I like is to just start talking about the topic of heels and inquire how they feel and how hard it is to walk in them and stuff. Just say you don't kow why women always complain about wearing them. If she seems open, try to "bet" her that you could probably in them, it can't be that "hard". If she goes for it, then you have an opening. Good luck regardless, Scotty Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
zepan Posted May 18, 2004 Author Share Posted May 18, 2004 Hi Scotty, I will try your advise as it sounds the least risky when it comes to asking if she would not mind. She knows I’m a fan of the heels so I’m hoping it will not be to much of an issue. What are your heels like? M Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
new_look Posted May 19, 2004 Share Posted May 19, 2004 good advice scotty. i did practically what you said with jade and it works well. women are all too quick too assume that they posess a specia ability when it comes to heelsm and that men couldnt do it, so jade was quick to accept the challenge. the 4in heels she put me in were a doddle as i was already used to 4.5. lol Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sscotty727 Posted May 19, 2004 Share Posted May 19, 2004 Daz, I might just be remembering your story and relaying it. I didn't have to do that one but I remembered reading someone here doing just that. Scotty Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
zepan Posted May 20, 2004 Author Share Posted May 20, 2004 Hi Guys, Thanks for the advice and I’m going to see what happens when somebody brings the issue of heels up. I have had a few oppatunities in the past and we have both laughed it off as a joke. Who knows she might go for it. Will et you know. M Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dressboots Posted May 20, 2004 Share Posted May 20, 2004 I told my wife when we were still dating. No games, no pretenses, just told her. I was certain she would accept me at that point, but was still nervous about the unknown. She accepted it, inquiring about the styles I had. She is not a heel wearer so was a bit impressed I could do so well in them. classic style high heel boots Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
new_look Posted May 20, 2004 Share Posted May 20, 2004 i remember discussing it with you scotty i think. it was when i wore them in front of her she realised that it desnt look so bad, just a new style. i think actually showing someone makes the better impression. If you mention it to someone secretly, its as if youre ashamed of it, and they will use their imagination to replicate a far fetched image such as a plain dressed man in pink thigh boots, or something else odd. Seeing a stylish presentation removes these images. the downside is you cant beat around the bush to see what someone will think. It maybe that you wear them in front, and then they feel like they wanna have nothing to do with you afterwards. thats why i treaded the water first, but thankfully jade has a sensible mind Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sscotty727 Posted May 21, 2004 Share Posted May 21, 2004 Hi Daz, I agree with you about telling them right up front as I did with my wife, but since Zepan is already married, I think it is important for him to go slow. I agree about not being ashamed. Since I just told my sister-in-law as a "matter of factly" that I just like wearing heels and showed her the ones I was wearing, she agreed they looked unisex and looked good. If I were nervous as if I was doing wrong, she would have reacted negatively. Scotty Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
genebujold Posted May 21, 2004 Share Posted May 21, 2004 Daz, Scotty - I think you guys are definately on the right track. One word of caution, though, and that would be for you not to beat around the bush or otherwise dilute the issue. That could very well be taken by her (as would most females) as a form of deception - not telling the whole truth. There are two thoughts, here, and while they're often in unison, sometimes they're not: 1. Be who you are. If she rejects you for that, so be it. 2. When you find someone you love, then love them, unconditionally, even if that means sacrificing some of your own treasures. Carefully evaluate how much of a treasure she is - quite often you'll find she's worth more than you imagined, particular if you imagine yourself without her. The first is pretty selfish - and is usually mightly lonely. The second is very self-sacrificing, but in all reality, happiness lies more towards the second than the first. Your choice, over... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
docs41 Posted May 21, 2004 Share Posted May 21, 2004 Hi Zepan, You face the situation that most of us have at one time or another. Yours is different than mine because you are already married. I told my wife beforehand and it worked out, although I admit I was scared as hell! The only advice I have is to take it slow and test the waters. Try to get on the topic of shoes and work into it. Or while at the mall look at some shoes with her and maybe make some open comments like "those look great, I wonder what they feel like??", or some other statement. Hopefully you can come up with something more creative than my suggestion. Either way you will have to address the situation in one way or another. I truly hope she is open to your shoe thing and let us know about the outcome! Best of luck.... If the shoe fits-buy it!!!!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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