joesranch2 Posted February 13, 2015 Posted February 13, 2015 Hi out there. I do not post a bunch, but I had to tell you all how great is to know that I am not alone. After talking this all through with my very loving and forgiving wife, she has allowed me to buy some shoes to wear outside the house. These are not those. I have posted those on my New shoes galary. Noting too exotic, but we went to the Builders outlet and walked all day in my black boots. She NEVER let me do that before.
Steve63130 Posted February 16, 2015 Posted February 16, 2015 Most women are ok with the idea of men in heels, unless it's THEIR man. But if you can get a foot in the door (so to speak), and it sounds like you have an opening, just go slowly and take baby steps, and you'll find you can make leaps of progress over time. The trick is to keep her in her comfort zone. Don't go too fast. If she's uncomfortable, back off. Push the envelope continously, but take it easy. Over time she'll realize that few people notice and hardly anyone ever says anything. As her confidence builds, you'll be out and about in heels more and more. Communicate with her and tell her how much you appreciate her confidence in you in letting you do what you want to do, even if it's unorthodox, and let her know you're not alone. You have lots of friends here at HHPlace.org. And finally, most importantly, continue to let her know that she's the focus of your life, not your heels. Don't get so preoccupied with heels that she thinks you love them more than her. Good luck and post on your progress. Steve
joesranch2 Posted February 16, 2015 Author Posted February 16, 2015 That is all great advise, and some that I do not take lightly. I have not even asked to go out in them since that day, but I have made it a point to thank he for her understanding, and patience with it. I agree. I also pointed out, then when we were out, no one even cared. She agreed. Trying Not to push the envelope is a hard thing for me, as I am a pretty focused individual. However, I totally agree and will try very hard. Too much too soon will definitely push it the wrong direction.
Steve63130 Posted February 16, 2015 Posted February 16, 2015 Attaboy! Watch her body language and if she seems uncomfortable with how fast you're pushing the envelope, back off and give her breathing room. Pay attention to her and you'll be where you want to be eventually. Steve
Guest Posted February 17, 2015 Posted February 17, 2015 Keep it conservative for her sake. I wear heels every day but they are all boots. I have also quieted down the heels noise to keep from drawing attention. Remember, it's about keeping her comfortable with it.
joesranch2 Posted February 17, 2015 Author Posted February 17, 2015 Thank you all. I agree whole heartedly. I would love to get to the point that there was never a concern.. Maybe someday. I think moderation and understanding is the key. I will do my very best to keep that up
joesranch2 Posted February 22, 2015 Author Posted February 22, 2015 Patience is totally the way to go. I have news. I was surprised to know that my daughter was staying over at a friends house last night. Since my last encounter, I have not asked my wife for anything, or breached the subject of me wearing heels. Well, tonight, I was surprised when she got home from work. She was carrying a bag. I thought nothing of it. We talked, I gave her a welcome home kiss, and she went to change out of her business clothes, and into her comfortable clothes. We ate dinner, had great conversation, like every other normal night. After we did the dishes, and were retiring to the family room for an evening of a few cocktails, and some good TV. She asked me. Do you really like wearing heels? I replied with Yes, but I want to take it slow, so I dont ruin it with you. She replied with Yes. I noticed, and I appreciated it. I said good, that was the point. we talked a bit more, and enjoyed a little sons of anarchy on the TV. She said, hang tight, I want to show you something. I said. Ok. You are not going to believe it. It was a pair of shoes she bought for me. She said, if you are going to wear heels in public, I want you to wear a pair that I would never wear, but want to see you in them, I said,,,, What.... They are attached. That is not the end, so dont stop reading. She said, these are open toes, so you cant have naked toe nails.. Yes.. SHe gave me a pedicure. This is just great... Let me know your thoughts.. BTW,, the outfit was her idea..
Steve63130 Posted February 23, 2015 Posted February 23, 2015 Wow, be careful what you wish for! Those heels aren't exactly subtle! They're at the way-over-the-top end of the spectrum! Now here's a thought. She's obviously of the mind that if you want to wear heels in public, it must be because you want to be seen and attract attention. That's why most women wear heels, for the visual effect, right? Now, you may be different in this regard. I certainly am. I like heels more because of the way they feel and the added height they offer and what they do for my posture. Sure I like the visual effect of the shoes, too, but it's much more than that. Those heels she gave you and the pedicure wouldn't work for me, because they're way TOO attractive. I prefer more balance between looks and feeling. I am conservative and would prefer a 3-4 inch block or at least thicker than stiletto heel. But everyone is different and those shoes may be exactly your cup of tea. I hope so, because people will surely notice them everywhere you go! I wonder if your wife is really saying, "Ah, so you love heels, huh? This will fix you good so you'll never want to wear them again!" Well, of course that probably won't work! Anyway, do let us know what you think. It's great that she's opened the door. Good things come to patient people, and it sounds like you have a really good relationship. Keep up the great work and good luck in the future! And have fun heeling! Steve
joesranch2 Posted February 23, 2015 Author Posted February 23, 2015 Steve, you are totally on here. I am pretty sure that I would never wear these in public. At least not yet. They are more her embracing my desire to wear them at home, and out. A year ago, she did not even like to see me in heels at home, and I had to wear them when she was not around. We had a long talk (Many of them), and now she is open to the much LESS conspicuous ones. I do think she wanted to see if I could actually walk in them i can.. This amazed her. It was a fun night. I don't want to push though.. Good things have started. I appreciate your open conversation, and opinion. This is why we all come on here, and read. To help each other.
Steve63130 Posted February 23, 2015 Posted February 23, 2015 I'm glad to hear that! Your pace is good and your patience has been amply rewarded. You ended up with the girl AND the heels and she found out the world didn't come to an end. So I'm very happy for you! I can see your daughter staying out with friends a lot more in the future! HA HA HA Steve
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