Newby Trying to break out

[joesranch2]

I looked a while for a topic like this, and I want to first apologize, because I am sure that I did not look long enough. I have a great wife, who tolerates me wearing heels at home. This site has really taught me a lot, and I want to learn more about how you help your wife get over the fact that not all others out there do this. I had mentioned that I did want to go out in public with her wearing heels. She is afraid of what others might think. SO, as I babble on, I will leave it at that. I just really enjoy wearing heels, and find them to make me look much better. I hope to go out all the time in them some day. I am trying to help with the cause here. I am from the upper Mid west, Minnesota to be specific. If anyone is from around here, and would happen to be out, I could show my wife Thank you again

[Shoeiee]

Welcome to HHPlace! I don't know what to tell you about how to get out of the house if the wife is concerned about image issues as that does have the potential to be a sticky issue. There are so many factors many must take into consideration, but in general, society doesn't really care!! I've been 'street heeling' for about 9 years now and, to date, have had precisely 0 negative comments, a handful of triple takes and the occasional "WTF?!?!?!" and a few "That's cool!!" comments. Most are a simple 'double take' as they try to ingest a new subject but nothing more than that. I have had the occasional cell-phone camera incidents but nothing worse :-) All I can really recommend is browse around this site a LOT and introduce your wife here sometime. There's LOTS of experiences posted here and many different views on this subject. But, of course, the most important view is your own and how it may impact your life. If you're clergy or a pre-school teacher, publicly wearing 'woman's shoes' may not be the best choice...but most other occupations are OK I would say... Society is a LOT more tolerant these days than many think Again, welcome to HHPlace and hope to hear more from you in the future!!

[joesranch2]

Thank you Shoeiee For the words of wisdom. I think my wife may come around if I start small. In fact I have 2 pair of woman's loafers now that I wear to the office regularly. Clearly she knows that they are womens shoes, but I have no theard on e remark from anyone else. I work in a pretty conservative office building, so, as with most trends, I would love to see just one other person in them before I wear anything with a much larger heel to work. maybe I will be the trend setter when my wife supports it..

This is the best site I have found in regards to this subject. Is there anyone on here that can influence the fashion industry that this should be a no gender subject. I think if they start hitting the national news with the trend in fashion this will go quick. I think that there are a tone more people that have the same desire, but are too chicken to even talk about it, let alone do what they wish.

Have a great day !

[mackman69]

i think you just need to wear some heels out and i think you will like it and just dont worry what other think or say . i love wearing heels or boots out in public. if you start wearing more heels and you wife sees you then maybe she will get ok with your heeling soon.

[joesranch2]

That is great advise. I have started buying some more heels. My wife is a great lady, and I truly do not care what others think. I read a lot of the posts in here, and it is a great thing. Once again, thank all of you.... This is great stuff.

[CassieJ]

Think about it from her perspective. She doesn't want people saying things about her husband (or her) so she wants to play it safe. You need to find ways to introduce it slowly so she feels safe and progress as she learns that nobody really cares. Most people would rather play it safe than to take a risk. Ease her in and she will learn that there really is no risk.

[joesranch2]

Thank you Cassie. I agree. I have started wearing them at home pretty much all the time. I have some middle of the road conservative boots coming soon. I hope to try them out on the town soon Again, thanks to all. I am going to keep reading and responding to all that are kind enough to lend a helping hand. Have a wonderful day.

[5.5 Thrill]

JR2: WELCOME to this wonderful forum. I too was once as you are. My wife didn't, and still doesn't, to a lesser extent understand, but she allows me to be me, wearing heels as much as possible out to the local malls. The double takes are fun to watch, the conversations with mostly other women who notice and ask "are you wearing HEELS?" is the best experience possible. As you may have read, I like to wear my 5" lace-up knee boots or 5" heeled Mary-Janes or when I feel really bold my avatar (public in patent is a STRETCH). Enough about me. This is about you and your relationship with the most important person in the whole world, your wife. Help her to understand what is going on in your head and why you like to wear womens (well they're not womens, they're yours) shoes. Do it together if you can. Johnnyheel and his wife have a ball out together wearing heels. So take your time and have fun. 5.5 Thrill

[Guest]

Wecome to HHP My O/H AnneV has fears of what might happen whilst out. Having said that she is very supportive even buying me some boots a week after climbing out of the shoebox and discussing it, and that was 2 months ago! since then she has joined (a little quiet though). My local ASDA/ Wal-mart has a military training base just outside, I've done that in heels during quieter times and a not so local town on a Saturday. stolling around a holiday resort and more. It takes a bit of bottle for us, for our unsure other half a lot more. Cos they care! When we can we both do an evening walk together. It is very helpfull matching steps, length of stride and balance, you can't imagine how bad you can be until you walk together on uneven surfaces, I thought I was drunk! Build up a confidence and be ready to handle questions if they come? I'm no expert yet and every day is new and challenging. there's plenty of advice across the forums so do look and ask. The girls have their very useful experiance Welcome and enjoy Al

[joesranch2]

Once again, I thkn you all. You are an inspiration, that I too may be able to go in public with the support of my wife. I dont think I could go out with her, with her not being supportive. Maybe by myself, but that would not be near as fun. I have attached the pair of boots that I would like to start her on. Let me know your thoughts. I know they are a bit tame, but a start

[secondtake20]

Joesranch2 Go for it! It is not always the heel size as I have learned over the last couple of weeks, but it is what makes you happy and your comfortable in. I would wear those boots out, they look fine.

[joesranch2]

Cool, thank you for words of wisdom. They fit great, size 11. The lady I bought them from seemed a bit surprised, but she did help me find them, and try them on.

[CassieJ]

Those are perfect for the first time out. They will look like men's boots if you wear long pants that cover most of them. I find I can wear 4" stilettos under long pants and few notice if the toes look like men's shoes.

[jwhite44]

They look almost like biker boots. I don't think the heel is that high at all.

[joesranch2]

Thank you everyone. I wore them around last night, and my wife wants a pair... I think that is a good sign. She then said she had a pair similar but black. None of the.... Worrying, so maybe that is a good sign. They feel so much better than flat shoes. Of course I am not telling anyone here anything that they do not know. Hope this is the start of something more. Cassiej, where do you find the wing tip type or mens toe type shoes you are speaking of. I really like the ones in your avitar?

[CassieJ]

The avatar shoes are Pleasers and my wife has them in Black. I want a pair too but haven't ordered them yet. I get my oxford style shoes at Nine West and Steve Madden and all over. Over on my blog I have posted actual brands and such with images of them. I plan to take photos of all my 'everyday' heels soon with brand and other info I have and add a weekly item to my blog - What I am Wearing Today. Link in in my sig-line. PM me if you have specific questions or post here if you think others might be interested. I have 16-18 pair of 'everyday' heels now that look like Men's shoes, they just have a 4"+ heel on them.