bluesman

White stretch patent cheerleader boots, with a small silver buckle at the top. Saw an ad in the paper for them at a local discount store for fifty cents, gathered up a few quarters my grandmother had given me, and rode my bike down to buy them. About 1974... Thanks for the memories!

I think I tried to keep the secret because I hadn't accepted myself, and I thought it was something I'd grow out of. Now, I'm facing not only trying to gain acceptance or at least tolerance from the wife, but also regaining her trust after my years of deception. Quite the uphill challenge. Majo, if you wouldn't mind sharing, were you up front with your wife, or was it an after-the-fact discovery that has led to your present agreement?

Dressboots, I think you've revealed a couple very interesting things in your most recent post. First, that in your youth you were TOLD what type of shoes you had to wear - orthopedics. Perhaps once you could make your own choices, choosing womens styles is a bit of rebellion? Second, you mention your whole family knows but doesn't talk about your choice of footwear. Perhaps your wife could take a queue from their position and let herself be a bit more flexible on the matter. Personally, I've ceased wondering why I like women's shoes. I guess I'm still curious, but I've come to terms with it and don't see it as something I need to spend a lot of energy on trying to understand and then change. Plenty of other things in life should have our full attention, like children, family, career, etc. If all the important things are being handled properly, then a minor kink like being fascinated by women's shoes really shouldn't rate, IMO. That's the perspective I'm trying to get my wife to come around to, and I think we're getting there. We've reached the point where we're joking about it (Her: Which top looks better with these pants? Me: you want fashion advice from a man who wears women's boots? Her: hey, I thought it might give you a better perspective!).

Blackside, I'm in a similar situation. My wife just recently found out about my preference for womens shoes, and although we haven't had any huge fights about it, there have been several long talks. And she just doesn't understand why I want to do this. As boylegs says, rational arguments haven't been cutting it. Her reply to those was to ask how I'd feel if she cut her hair short, wore flannel shirts, and started carrying a wallet. And yes, we went thru the "are you gay" or "do you want to be a woman" phase, but I managed to convince her that footwear choice does not indicate sexual preference. After finding this board and all its positive support, a year or two ago I finally accepted there wasn't anything "wrong" with me. Since then I have no issues with wearing my various shoes & boots out and about. This is also why I can't just give it up - its part of who I am, and I've finally come to terms with that. My wife readily admits that I, too, am a good "catch". Since I've come to terms with this, I'm hopeful she can as well. It truly is all about compromises. While she's not trying to control me, it does make her uncomfortable and I have to respect that. She, in turn, should try to respect that this is a part of me, and all things considered, a pretty harmless little quirk. With time, talking, and some introspection, hopefully you wife (and mine!) will come to that conclusion.

I know I'm coming in here a bit late, but a recent life event now finds me in a similar predicament as dressboots. A few weeks ago my wife of 16 years found a pair of my boots in the trunk of my car. Nothing outrageous, just black stretch knee highs with 2.5" block heels. These were a very comfortable pair that I've been wearing out in public (work, shopping, travel, etc.) since I got them last winter. We talked. I explained how I've liked women's shoes & boots for as long as I can remember, both wearing them and as a "fan". How I like how they look, fit, and feel. That when I wear them in public, I wear what's appropriate for the situation, which usually means block heeled boots, sneakers, or casual shoes. (I have some more fetish-type heels, but for private wear.) And lastly, how virtually nobody notices. She doesn't get it, doesn't understand why I would want to hear women's shoes. And very naturally, is quite hurt that I've kept this a secret for our 20 year relationship. And on that point, I've had to remind her of some subtle (and not so subtle) signals I've sent her over that time: -In the early 90's telling her I really liked the popular women's Reebok Freestyle high-tops and I had found a pair in 12, what would she think if I bought them. She said if I liked them then OK, so I bought them and wore them all the time for several years -When she worked in an office she'd come home and complain about her heels hurting her. I'd jokingly dismiss her, and she'd say "you try being in heels all day", so one Christmas I bought myself a pair of 4" pumps and let her unwrap the box. I told her this was so I'd know how it feels, and on a number of times after that she'd hand them to me and tell me to put them on because her feet hurt so mine should too. We even danced in our living room with each of us in heels, admittedly after coming in from a night in the bars! -All thru our relationship I've bought her shoes and boots -She accessed my eBay account once and found I was bidding on a pair of size 12 thigh high boots. Nothing ever was said, but I found the page printout in her dresser drawer -I've worn 4" block heel boots in the same room as her and she didn't notice So anyway, I'm working on convincing her there's nothing "wrong" with me or my interest in women's shoes. I think this just makes me a unique individual with a fashion sense a bit out of the mainstream. She's worried what our children, 4 & 9, would think, but it's not my intention to force this upon them, although I do try to instill in them a sense of individuality. Fortunately, she doesn't see this as something that needs therapy. She's pretty level headed and I think that as we talk thru it and she reflects on past events and current society we'll come to an understanding. As of now the pair of boots she found is still sitting in the corner of the bedroom, and I've made her aware I have others but she hasn't asked to see them. That she hasn't tossed them all I'm taking as a positive sign. My biggest mistake was not being totally, 100% up front with her way back when. Whew, sorry 'bout the loooong post, but had to finally get this out there. Dressboots, I wish you the best in coming to terms with things.

I travel a lot for work and wake up with Robin on HLN in my hotel room quite a bit. She seems to have an amazing wardrobe featuring lots of boots, and the new "Express" format has lots of camera angles of her standing and sitting on the couch. This morning it was a pair of leopard pattern stretch boots, again with the tall heels. Yes, quite the way to start off the day! Thought perhaps I was the only one noticing.

Yep, those boots are stunning. The perfect boot, imo. Smooth leather, spike heels, slender toes. But alas, only up to us11. With those pointed tips, there's no way I could wear those comfortably. So sad..

Dawn, may a speedy recovery be yours! Your supportive comments & conversations in these forums are always a breath of fresh air. Thanks for the update, Mickey.

It is a confounding game. I've always found that going with a natural material vs. man-made will let the shoe or boot gradually stretch or form to my foot. The man-mades will stretch for the current wearing but always return to their original shape, meaning another break-in the next time.

D, you're fortunate to have a g/f who supports your heeling, especially on out on the street. All other things considered, you might have a keeper there! The M/Js look quite comfortable for extended wear. A classic look.

I like those Charles David wedges, but the skinny wedge might give them away from the back. But they look comfortable as all get out. Nordstroms, eh? A pretty penny, no doubt. Like many of the other contributors, I agree the cowboys are cool, too. Seems the fall look includes lots of the western/boho look.

Thanks, t-straps. I get to the D/FW area on business several times a year, so I might check those places out. Where in Dallas? I'm usually up in the Forest Lane area, but fly thru Love.

Thighbootguy, dude, you did NOT do that in Portsmouth! Man, that was a bold move. I get down there for work several times a year for work plus have in-laws around there, and that is a flannel-and-workboot town! They look at me funny when I wear khakis. Nope, I keep my thigh-highs in the hotel room when I visit southern Ohio.

The first heels that were my own were a pair of white patent cheerleader-style stretch boots. I think the heels were between 1.5" and 2". I have a vivid memory of the experience: seeing the ad for them in the paper, riding my bike to the store (Gilbert's) and buying them. I didn't try them on; I think I bought them in my usual male size, not knowing at that age about the male/female size differences. And I remember they were on sale for only 50 cents! And yet I can't remember what I had for lunch yesterday...

What's the difference between light and hard? . . . . . . . You can sleep with a light on.

Curly

Another foot variation I've noticed is the taper angle of the toes, from big toe to small. Most women's feet seem to have more of angle than men's, which of course helps them slide into those pointy toed shoes. I seem to have more of an angle than many guys, greatly helping me fit into some ladies heels that perhaps I otherwise couldn't. Maybe it's genetics, or maybe it's a gradual reshaping from 30 years of occasional heel wearing!

This extends waaaaaaaaay past waiting in a shopping line.

I'm also notorious for slowing my pace if I hear what SOUNDS like nice heels behind me.

You know, Danielle, until you mentioned that I never realized I do the same! Its become a subconscious thing - I'll hear heels, and I just have to see them. Occasionaly I'll even recognize the style as one I have thought about buying. Boy, I've got it baaaaad!

Outstanding pictures, Rich! Those look like legs from a catalogue. Wish I had nice slim calves & ankles like yours, but instead I've got typical guy bulky ones. Oh well, I guess that's what boots are for.

Badger, I'm with you on this. Surely not to the point of stalking, but I'll stand in the longest checkout line/queue, look at produce I've no intention of buying, or sort thru clothes racks for things I don't need, all to get a better glimpse of a lovely lady's fine heels. On a related note: setting up some computers today, I'm down on my knees under tables plugging in power & ethernet cables. There in front of me are a pair of black suede boots with 4" blade heels, worn by an attractive blonde team member. I'm not sure why, but it took me quite a few minutes to make the connections at this particular workstation!

Hey, Dawn I'm in Central Ohio, about 3 hours from Pittsburgh, or 2.5 from Washington, via I-70. How 'bout yourself? Keep warm, keep heeling! Blues

Late 70's, high school. Crepe-soled wedge heel boots with rolled up jeans were the cutting edge. But this one underclassman, thin, with long brunette hair, had it down. Her boots were a dark brown, really tall, and the heels were more slender and higher than any of the other girls. And this girl knew she was all that, too. The tight rolled up jeans, snug top, & terrific boots set this 17 year old off! Anyone else remember those boot styles? Starting to see a little comeback for these, in the more punk/goth styles.

Congrats, Larry I'd love to wear my stilettos in public, and I have worn them in secluded situations like you describe, but I've balanced that desire with the realization that I'm not ready to bear the torch for men's fashion freedom. So, I stick to the blocky heels. I'd think that if you've been lucky enough to incorporate heels & stockings into your intimate times, your wife couldn't possibly be that surprised your interest extends outside the bedroom. Make up an excuse next time you're in heels at home. Say you need to run & get a bottle of wine, throw on a pair of sweats over your stockings & heels, grab your keys, and head for the door. See how she reacts, & play it from there.

Aw, thighbootguy is in Kentucky. On our border, but a long way from where I'm at. I do seem to recall a couple of western PA members, however. Thanks for the suggestion!

Hi, Tammi Most of my persentations now are in front of women in comfortable shoes (read: nurses). But at the home office a couple of the ladies show up in pointy-toed boots under pants. One even will wear the knee-high variety with a skirt. Mmmm. Needless to say I find every excuse to visit their offices & bump into them in the hall. It's hard to maintain decorum around this, isn't it?