bluesman

I told my wife about this great place after she discovered my passion for heels. I wanted to help her understand that it isn't just me, and that there are plenty of guys with supportive significant others who have the same interest. Right now she's in the not-accepting phase and so hasn't paid a visit to the site, but as we work thru this I hope she finds it the same great resource that I did.

joeshoething, Like you, my wife discovered my secret about a year ago when she found a pair of thigh boots. Those were disposed of, and I showed her the rest of my collection, which consisted of a number of pairs of block heeled boots which I had been wearing quite a bit for street-heeling while on business travels. We had many discussions, starting from the 'are you gay?' phase to a point where she seemed to at least tolerate my regular boots being in my closet. I even wore them out to work in front of her several times. I don't think she ever got her mind around why I did it and I believe she still had issues with it being 'not normal' - her words - but the biggest issue was the lost trust. I spent the past year working on earning that trust back, while also showing her that just because I like to wear women's boots I'm just a normal person with a different fashion sense. In fact, having to no longer hide this was a great weight lifted off of me and I was happier than ever. Anyway, after a year passed I thought we'd reached an understanding, but then I messed up: a couple weeks ago she found a pair of fetish-type boots I'd neglected to dispose of, and now they ALL have to go (see my post in the For Sale forum). I still hold out hope for a compromise once some time passes, since she continues to joke with me about all this. In another interesting parallel to your situation, you mention that your wife even bought you a pair of heels after finding yours. Years ago in our relationship I used to chide my wife for not wearing heels more, and she'd respond by saying how they weren't all that comfortable and how men wouldn't wear them. I used that as an opening, bought myself a pair of 5" pumps, and wrapped them up for her to 'give' me. She did, and there would be occasions when she'd have me put them on and wear them around the house. So her total surprise years later at my heeling obsession seems a little disingenious. How is your wife reconciling having bought you some heels but then still having a problem with it? We both seem to be getting mixed signals, eh? Bottom line in my situation was the trust issue; we got past the sexual-orientation question pretty quickly, but hiding something for 17 years of our relationship has been the deal-breaker. Sounds like the same thing in your situation. Work to restore the trust first, do what you have to do in the near term to relieve her fears, and maybe through all this gently try to persuade her this isn't abnormal, just different. Good luck to you. (sorry to hijack your thread with my issues, but the parallels and timing of our two situations was too compelling to pass up!)

Those look great, and very comfortable for everyday wear. Although I still buy most of my heels online, when I do find a pair in a store I try them on because I don't want to get all excited about a great pair only to find them not fit right when I get home.

I vote for the platform slingbacks in #1...but now links 3-4 don't work - looks like Payless is out of them - so I don't know what I missed! Lucky man, the wife offering her "blessings".

For heels, exclusively block heeled boots, 2.5" to 4.5", ankle to knee length, with or without platforms. But I'd also really like to find a nice pair of wedge heeled boots that I like and which look good.

I would say that I was occasionaly streetheeling before joining this site, but since then all the supportive discussion has helped me realize that my choices are what they are. All the great people here made me realize that the fear and shame I had been feeling were unwarranted; I now go out in moderate heels (read: block heeled boots) with confidence. But the most important thing HHplace helped me with was when my wife found out what I was up to. All the shared experiences and thoughtful discussion here about other people's situations when their SO discovered or was told really helped me thru it. I was able to offer reasonable arguments and was actually able to talk with her about it. I truly feel the way I handled it, using the knowledge gained here, avoided a complete melt-down.

I voted to check to see who's there, and then it would also depend on the heels I had on. A couple years ago I had on 4" heeled boots and was sitting in the living room watching TV (the wife was away) and a friend unexpectedly came to the door. The blind was up and he could plainly see me sitting there, but I managed to scoot out of his view and take them off before letting him in. Lesson learned there, to always pull the blind. Many years prior to that I had on a pair of (the first wife's) knee high lace ups with only 2" heels when a friend came to the door. For whatever reason I just left them on and let him in. Had a nice conversation and nothing was ever said, even though the heels and lacing were clearly visible.

Haha, you could be talking about my wife. She has a closet full of great heels & boots, some of which I've purchased for her, and yet there's times when she'll finish off a great outfit with the *worst* choice of shoes. Like long, skinny pants, but then put on a pair of flats! I've learned to be gentle in my suggestions, and I'm slowly bringing her around. Since she now knows about my heel "thing", she's figuring out I actually have good taste in women's footwear. But yes, I agree that it can be personally disappointing to see an otherwise attractive and well-dressed woman with no shoe fashion sense.

I recall a friend of my mother's coming over for an afternoon visit and she brought her daughter along. We were both about 5 or so, I guess, so that puts things in the late 60's. Anyway, the daughter had on kid's version of black patent go-go boots, and she and I played in the yard. I'll never forget her trying to climb up to my treehouse and her mother chastising her for maybe "messing up her boots". Sadly, no older sister to borrow shoes from!

Way to go, Gladius! Daring choice for your first pair, but very nice. I love that closed-toe platform pump style. Have you worn them out in public yet? I think I speak for most here when I say we all remember our first pair of heels. <fondly sighs>

I've been seen by co-workers on a few occasions. I used to work in an office that was almost exclusively used by traveling staff, so often I was the only person there. As such, I got pretty casual about wearing my boots to work, anything from 3" ankle boots to knee high stretch boots with 4.5" heels and platforms, all of the block-heeled variety. One day I strolled in and was surprised by one of my female co-workers. There was no way to hide the heels sticking out from under my pants leg, so I just greeted her good morning and chatted for a minute. She did comment on my boots although I don't remember exactly what except that it was positive. I do recall saying they were my "stomper" boots and sort of showing her more of the platform and heel. Weeks later I had on a different pair with even higher heels, and she was there again. We chatted several times during the day but nothing was said about my boots. Another time I was out at lunch and in the checkout line at a grocer, wearing 3" block heeled boots. While I'm waiting my turn a woman who works in the same office, who I knew only in passing, got in line behind me. We exchanged hellos and that was it; don't know if she noticed my boots or not. Interestingly, now several years later my wife and I are now very good friends of this woman, and I sometimes wonder if she saw and/or remembers.

I've often seriously considered wearing some heels when flying. My issues is that when I'm travelling for fun, my SO is with me and I don't think we wants the extra attention (she knows, btw). When I'm travelling alone, it's for work and I'm afraid that it will be the one time that the airline loses my luggage and I'll be stuck with what I'm wearing. Since I typically have to go in for whatever work stuff early in the morning and I typically fly late at night the night before, that doesn't leave much time for emergency shoe shopping. Of course I could carry an extra pair in carry on luggage, but shoes take a lot of room.

Haha, yeah, I've had that fear, too. Of course, lost bags would be a bigger problem than just what shoes I'm wearing. Or the other fear, that one day while I'm out driving someplace in heels that I'll have car problems and end up walking along the highway!

I was all set to wear my boots thru security last night, then had a pause: man wearing chunky heeled platform boots onto an airplane, what's he smuggling in there? Hmmm, I don't need the cavity search, so I reconsidered and changed into them after security.

I mentioned in another thread that I've not yet had the guts to wear heels thru security; hiking up the pants leg to unzip knee high boots in front of everyone still freaks me out a little. I have changed after security to a pair from my carry-on, however. Last time (a couple weeks ago) was into a pair of Skechers 4" block heeled platform boots. Made the flight, gathered my checked bag afterwards, rode the bus to the rental car facility, dinner, hotel, etc. Flying out this Sunday evening, which may be a good opportunity to just go for it thru security, since I'm sure there will be few people in the lines.

I think CassieJ makes an interesting point about people being bold enough to make any comment, positive or negative. In the overly politically-correct work environments we now have, people are just plain scared to make any comment about another's attire. An innocent compliment about a person looking nice or a hair style being attractive or whatever can be turned into a major human resources incident. So, even if someone notices your footwear is a little different, chances are they will think better than to bring it up. Not to say all this is a good thing...its a sad day when offering a compliment or engaging in constructive conversation can get you in trouble! Keep up the good work, RadioDave.

Well, Corsair, bully for you! I too find my business travel time to be great for extra street healing, but I don't yet have the nerve to wear my boots thru the security checkpoints. Just something about hiking my pants leg up to unzip a pair of knee-highs right there in front of a hundred or so people still makes me nervous. Once I clear security, however, sometimes I change into them. Like you often my running shoes are the only "men's" style in my case. I have a couple of pairs of Skechers casual shoes that look great and are really comfortable, so those plus a pair or two of boots pretty much cover what I need in footwear when I travel. Actually, that pretty much covers it at home, come to think of it. I agree about the flight attendants; boot season is "in"! I find myself always taking an aisle seat so I can keep an eye on them. Makes the time in the air pass that much quicker.

I think I'm having a breakthrough in my situation. Since my wife seems to be becoming more accepting, by way of having a sense of humor about my heeling, this morning I decided to go for it and wear them in front of her. I had an overnight business trip and the weather is cold and wet, so what better time to wear boots? The pair of block heeled boots she found in my car has been sitting in our bedroom since discovery. After getting dressed and packing my case, I put on the boots and went out to where she was reading the paper, and started up conversation. After a few minutes she says, "Wearing your boots today?". Yeah, I said, this is boot weather. Just threw it out there. There was the briefest of pauses while she smiled, sort of shook her head and regained her train of thought, and then that was it! We talked about family & house matters for a few more minutes, said our good-byes, and off I went. Just had to share my sense of relief with everyone!

Well done, latindancer. In this day of piercings everyplace, multi-colored hair, and tatoos galore, a guy in heels only attracts brief mild curiosity as yet another different look, if anyone even notices. When I get to the Oak Lawn/Burbank area on business, I'm out in heels shopping and dining. Ever been to Louie's or Chi-Tung?

ct03si, you are so fortunate to have a SO who's so open minded. What fun! I think mine's starting to come around, both to wearing women's shoes and jeans. I, too, like the way womens jeans fit me. On me, men's styles droop so much the crotch ends up closer to my knees than my waist. Guess that's what happens when middle age sets in and I've got nothing "back there" to hold them up anymore! My wife has been shedding pounds lately, and this morning she passed on to me 3 pairs of her Old Navy low waist stretch bootcuts. They fit great, and aren't so snug in the legs that they look obviously like women's. As for the nylons, wear whatever makes the shoe more comfortable. If it helps, I've heard that many football players wear nylons for cold weather games as an added layer of warmth. You could have a keeper there!

I have been trying for ages now to get out wearing heels in public , but each time I try, I convince myself something is not right and I chicken out.

I have been out in heels late at night, and I have no problem shopping for heels so where is the problem?

I know every one here will say just do it! but i wish it was that easy, anybody got any suggestions as to how I can get over this and get out there!

My suggestion for your first outing is to check out some possible places first. Look for places like big department stores where you can blend in among the racks and displays. Avoid places with long inescapeable aisles. If you plan to wear clicky heels, find a place with soft floors or carpet. Find a place where you can get from the car to the door to among the racks with a minimum of exposure. Or, choose a dark restaurant and go get a booth on a slow night.

After you do it once and you find no one notices, your confidence will build and soon it will be almost second nature. Good Luck!

I think you should great her with heels on and a big welcome home kiss. Then see where it goes from there.

DOH! A missed opportunity. Great suggestion, johnie. Next time she has a little fun with this I've got to be quicker on my feet (no pun intended) to turn it to my advantage.

OK, I'm really confused & don't know what to make of this. As I've mentioned in other posts, my heeling has recently been discovered by my wife, and she's not approving at all. Or so I thought: She's been out of town for 4 days, and just called to say she's on her way home. In this converstation, she says to me, "Time to put away all the heels and boots, I'm about 15 minutes away." I joked back, "They're going back in the closet." wtf???

I don't know if its so much about "exposure to high heels" as it might be the assumption that a well-educated woman is a little more worldly, having presumably exposed to a more open, thought-inducing experience thru higher education. I know what they say about assumptions....but I'm thinking in general that the woman who has attended a college and been around a variety of people, opinions, and lifestyles, and has been prodded to form her own opinions about things is more open to a fashion trendsetter than the woman who has not. Again, I hate to generalize and there will always be exceptions,but on the whole I believe I'm correct. Of course, our supposedly well-educated populace here in the US re-elected GWB, so...

Pittsburgh

Name: Anonymous for now Age: 45 Gender: M Location: Ohio, US Occupation: Computers, Information Services Height: 5'11" Weight: 190 Shoe size: 11M What's your favourite heel style: Stiletto What's your favourite shoe style: Boots Do you wear your heels outside: Yes What is: (a) Your favourite heel height: about 4" ( Your highest heel height: 6" How often do you wear: (a) Your favourite heel height: Sometimes, but usually more like 2.5 - 3" ( Your highest heel height: Rarely Do you wear socks, hose, stockings or bare feet with your shoes: Depends on the fit, weather, and the shoe Anything else you wish to add: Besides the 2.5"-3" block heeled boots I wear out on public, I also wear a number of casual and tennis shoes out on a daily basis that are marketed primarily for women. I like the fit, but mostly the flair and style, of women's shoes, and that's why I wear them.