ljhh

I have Lost interest at different times, too. Mostly when i'm sad. Now that I remember I Lost interest un wearing heels when I used to go toe the gym 🤔🤔🤔. Sometimes ITS the contrary to the point that I Buy a lot of pairs. I have aprox 100 pairs (haven't counted them in a while).

1) How often do you wear high heels? 

Almost daily (indoors only)

2) What type of heel do you prefer?

Stiletto

3) How high is your average daily heel height?

3.5-4"

4) Do you find high heels uncomfortable?

NO

5) Do you find high heels difficult to walk in?

NO

6) Did you know high heels can be bad for your legs, feet and back?

Yes

7) Do you have any ill effects from wearing high heels?

On the contrary. They help diminish pain in my back from an old injury

8) If yes, what areas cause you problems? 

.

9) Do you find it difficult or uncomfortable to wear low-heels, flats or go barefoot?

NO

10) How old were you when you started wearing high heels regularly?

28

11) Do you get comments (positive or negative) on your high heels?

Positive (by my GF)

12) How often do you get comments?

.

13) How many years have you been wearing high heels regularly?

2

14) Do you ever consider giving up wearing high heels?

Yes. Sometimes I think I'm not More sociallly friendly because of heels...

15) What is/are the reason you wear high heels?

I Like 'em (fetish AND I like to wear womens outfits just for fin)

16) Would you consider giving up high heels if they became too painful?

Yes. But It would deeply sadden me...

17) Do you ever slip your heels off under your desk or when sitting to relieve pressure?

no

18) Have you ever fallen due to wearing high heels?

fortunately, no.

19) If you have fallen due to wearing high heels, how often has it happened?

.

20) Do you plan on giving up high heels regularly as you get past 60 years old? 

I might have to...

Nine West, Jessica Simpson, Steve Madden, i like Stuart Weitzman pointy booties but at the tome I only own a pair of that brand. Frye western boots, Corral and their counterpart in México (Cuadra boots, i strongly recomend all cowboy boot lovers to check them out)

On 12/9/2020 at 7:58 AM, bailey said:

A follow up picture....they arrived today.

Gorgeous boots 👌🏽 I might Buy a pair to complete my Xmas dinner outfit 

I used to wear My mom's heels when I was like 3-4 years until I stopped because my dad hit me and told me I would end up being a travestite and bring shame to the family (there aren't many Open minded people here in México), so I just dreamed of having My own place to wear them secretly. Only 3  gfs knew my secret and supported me. I bought My first pair of heels when I was 18 (12 years ago), now I dunno how many I own (maybe a 100 pairs haha). At first I only liked High heels, then women's jeans and trousers and now I wear entirely women's clothes (indoor, of course. As I fear of being spotted).

On 29/8/2017 at 3:57 PM, kneehighs said:

Hi @ljhh.  I think the core feeling you are struggling with here is shame.  In your first post you said, "I feel like I'm not worth a dime".  And in your last post you said, "For now I only wish I could feel better about myself...."  That's shame.  Shame can be an extraordinarily painful emotion to process, overwhelming, and make you want to hide from the world and yourself.  

Brené Brown states,  “Shame is the intensely painful feeling or experience of believing that we are flawed and therefore unworthy of love and belonging.  Shame keeps worthiness away by convincing us that owning our stories will lead to people thinking less of us. Shame is all about fear. We’re afraid that people won’t like us if they know the truth about who we are, where we come from, what we believe, how much we’re struggling, or, believe it or not, how wonderful we are when soaring (sometimes it’s just as hard to own our strengths as our struggles).”

John Bradshaw in his book, Healing the Shame that Binds You, "shame as a healthy human emotion can be transformed into shame as a state of being. As a state of being shame takes over one’s whole identity. To have shame as an identity is to believe that one’s being is flawed, that one is defective as a human being. Once shame is transformed into an identity, it becomes toxic and dehumanizing.”

Alice Miller, in her book, The Drama of the Gifted Child wrote, “The art of not experiencing feelings. A child can experience her feelings only when there is somebody there who accepts her fully, understands her, and supports her. If that person is missing, if the child must risk losing the mother's love of her substitute in order to feel, then she will repress emotions.” 

Chances are this girl, unlike your family, allowed you to be yourself.  So in a sense, she "healed" the pain you felt rejecting yourself to maintain the caretaking your family gave you.The thing is, this is probably intergenerational in nature.  Your family probably learned it from their parents and they in turn learned it from their parents.  

The trouble is, it's easy to take a good thing and make it excessively good.  In this case, the relationship became your path to cure your childhood wounds.  In your response to jeremy1986 you said "I put my whole life on a single woman."  That's a bummer, because you have a whole lot more worth to give yourself and the world than this girls approval will ever offer.  You don't need to be someone's hero to be valuable, you just need to be you.

 

 

 

It might be true. My mother knows I like high heels, she accepted it to some point but I don't wear heels in front of her. My ex did accept my love for heels but she did more than that, she was loving, caring and helped me a lot. At the end she was the opposite, maybe she was cheating on me, the typical symptoms where there, but it's not worth wasting my energy on that. I feel much better now (it has passed a month and 5 days since the breakup) I still miss her, I still think about her daily (sometimes I feel grateful for the moments, other times I hate her for lying and hidding things from me but it isn't something I can change, so I am trying to let go once and for all). The thing is that I haven't wore high heels since the breakup as it reminds me of my time with her  Most of my life I wished I didn't like high heels of at least not wanting to wear them, now that I dont feel like wearing 'em I feel bad, empty or missing something special of me. Thanks for your advice and citing those authors (I'll check on them) I am currently going to a therapist and we are working on my childhood "wounds" my inner child needs to be taken care of (by me of course).

Thank you gentlemen for your advice, I stayed away from social media as it only made me feel worse, I have not used heels since that day as it inevitably reminds me of the moments I spent with her wearing heels. Haven't bought a pair neither. I spent most of my savings on partying or drinking and I regret that. The good thing is that I haven't contacted her ever since and I do not want to see her ever again (heard some rumors that she was with another guy, and iI remember that she was very weird a month or two before the breakup. Never thought she was that kind of girl, lol). I got promoted in my job, despite my poor performance and I am a bit better, I still feel insecure and sad but I don't feel like I'm dying anymore. Maybe there is some girl better suited for me somewhere. Meanwhile I will work on being a better and mentally stronger man who enjoys and loves himself. Thank You very much!

On 26/9/2017 at 4:22 AM, Gudulitooo said:

Why is it lower now ?

It was, as I could not concentrate. I was promoted to my surprise. And was sad at first as I needed her to celebrate one more goal. But I realized that she wasnt that good of a girl. I havent contacted her ever since as now I think she left me for another guy. Good riddance to her.

On 25/8/2017 at 8:20 AM, Cali said:

Learn from the experience, but don't dwell in it.  You are very young and sometimes when young people get together and one see what's out there, they change. You said that her family was strict and her family liked you.  Maybe this is more about getting away from their control.

You are close to completing a good degree, concentrate on that. Then when you finish get that job and start over.

You are young and more women at your age are okay with it. I'm in my 60's and although there are women that are okay with me in heels, it not okay for their boyfriends.  And they call themselves open minded and want somebody who can think out of the box.

for now I only wish I could feel better about myself, and learn how to make some good friends  

Hope I could meet more woman who could be ok with me being in heels. But here in Mexico it could be very hard...

Thank You for the Advice Cali 

On 25/8/2017 at 5:23 AM, Gudulitooo said:

Stay positive.

Find another one.

Let's say this has nothing to do with you, instead this has to do with the rest of the world that seems more attractive because more diversified.

Poor girl she will have a hard time finding one guy offering as much as what the whole world is promisinig to offer.

In the end she may regret her move, ... or not, who cares.

 

I confronted her last friday. I believe that thing of being free was just an excuse. She does not love me anymore. Maybe she has another person in her heart, but I don't want to know as I'll lose my time and efforts in something that isn't there anymore

Thank You for the advice Gudulitooo

6 hours ago, pebblesf said:

Not much to add to the thoughtful advice written here already.  Just know that your feelings/hurt are perfectly normal and expected.  Don't blame yourself, or assume the break up is due to your short comings/faults.  She is younger, and probably just does not want to make a commitment right now. 

Take advantage of this time to concentrate on your career, education.  And, please don't discard your heels buddy, you will only buy new ones in the near future....

Perhaps you have some close friends you can take a well earned vacation with to help get through these tough times....

I threw some pairs years ago and I regret it... I won't do the same. My future in love is a bit foggy now, I had my first session with a psychologist, told him everything I had inside and he recommended me that we should start working on accepting myself and then work on my break up and some childhood issues as well. Maybe some day I'll have the time and money to get out of the city for a weekend at least.

Thanks a lot for replying pebblesf 

On 25/8/2017 at 9:02 PM, HappyinHeels said:

ljhh,

You are still young so it seems difficult to imagine anyone else in your life yet, as Steve63130 pointed out, there are indeed other possibilities out there. SHe wanted to "some distance from you" so put some distance between you and her. Concentrate on mental distance from her. There is no penalty on going on with your life and putting this into the background. If it meant to be then let her be the one to call you. If not, as they say in Mexico, NI MODO. Concentrate on getting your diploma/certification in electromechanical engineering as that will pay dividends for years and years to come. Build a solid foundation on which to put your heels.

Try to make decisions based more on what is right and logical for you rather than feelings. This might seem hard in passionate Mexico, home of the telenovela, but it is the only way to make sense of things which sometimes make no sense. Who knows what she was thinking but you know you have to keep moving forward. Do not throw away any heels. They are part of you and ALWAYS WILL BE. Yes, many of us are older than you. I am just over double your age and first tried on heels in 1971. Fun then and fun now. My wife of 32 years, also from Baja California, accepts me for who I am. Any future girlfriend, or wife, of yours should do the same. Cada quien cuenta de la feria como le va en ella. Be yourself, keep your head up, and move forward one step at a time. This thing will work itself out. I hope this helps you a bit. HappyinHeels

You are right. NI MODO. I will keep myself focused I just hope that I don't get fired from my job as my performance is much lower now... 

You are so fortunate for having that wonderful wife with you, come someday to Tijuana to enjoy the Best Tacos in the world haha

 I wish I could also get the right one for me someday.

Thanks a lot for the advice I really appreciate it

On 26/8/2017 at 7:34 AM, subtle said:

I've been in the exact situation, you'll feel better as time passes, but the struggle will be hard at first. 

Try not to hope that she'll come back eventually, I clung to this for many years. Use this opportunity to do the exact thing she is doing.

I am sure she won't come back, as much as it hurts I have to work on that from that point, and try to stop asking me why...

thanks for replying 

Thank You guys, for sharing your stories or opinions. Me and my now ex were going to meet last saturday (I wanted to see her so I could say good bye and end things in a good way, also I wanted to look at her eyes...) but she cancelled the meeting a day before saying that she would be doing other things, I got mad and tried to know what was the activity more important than talking to me. She said she was going out with her friends, which was more interesting and fun than me... I got really mad and rushed to her place. I saw her dad in ther and bought him some beers (we used to drink beers on saturdays, but that day I only gave him the beers as I didnt feel ok), then talked to her... She really looked like she didnt want to know anything about me. Like if she hated me, 0 emotions towards me, she said we would not come back ever again as she did not feel the same feelings towards me, I remember asking her what did she disliked about me so I would not make the same mistakes ever again in my life but she said she had no problem with me, I started to get a little frustrated as I was giving my final "speech" as she was making some uncomfortable facial expressions (which broke my heart even more, but at the same time made me angry to myself for being so pasive) I then asked her to give me back the pairs of heels I bought her as I could not stand the sole idea of her enjoying those heels with other person. As I was gonna enter her house she told me that her dad would see me packing the heels on my backpack (trying to make me think that she was going to tell my secret love for heels ). I know that was a bad move but as I saw there was no chance in heel that she would change her mind about us so I brought the pairs here. I feel a lot better now but still very lonely and blaming myself for being like this  

I seeked for some professional help. I hope it works as I think I have a lot of issues. 

Thank you all for your help and NO, I won't throw away my heels. Not even my ex's heels (we wore almost the same size...) 

2 hours ago, SF said:

Tu hablas ingles muy bien....   

Gracias SF...

8 hours ago, kneehighs said:

@ljhh I'm sorry for your loss.  I'm sure it's painful and beyond what I can fathom as each situation is unique.  At the core level, you're probably dealing with unresolved childhood wounds that have been re-opened: abandonment, rejection, shame ("I feel like I am not worth a dime,"), and helplessness are the common ones.  I'm no expert by any stretch, but the IMHO, the key for right now is to allow yourself to be honest with your feelings.  Be honest with yourself about why you liked her.  Be true to your emotions.

Just be honest with yourself to start.  

I had a back injury and was in bed for 2 weeks, I would rather feel that pain than this heartache. Maybe one day I'll be laughing at this, but at the moment I feel Like S***t, I thought I was the strong one in the relationship. 

You may be right, maybe it has to do with my childhood (I come from a dysfunctional family) I was thinking and googling all day about my feelings and decided to seek for professional help. Hope theraphy works in the long therm, as after the breakup I feel less of a man for liking high heels. 

Thanks for replying you were certainly very accurate with your opinion. I liked her maybe because she accepted me and cared a lot about me. 

Thank You 

5 hours ago, jeremy1986 said:

@ljhh - chin up, lad. I am sure you are feeling down right now - its only natural. 

You need to stay strong, as you are a person in your own right, and deserve to live a good life, regardless of who you are with. who knows - maybe she will be back, but build yourself up, so you can keep your self value, which you certainly have! 

Nah, she asked for some time one day and now she said that she won`t come back with me, she didn`t feel happy with me anymore and that she stayed with me only because of my good relationship with her family and to not hurt my feelings, she felt that she needed to care for herself now. The worse thing is that she broke up with me by whatsapp, She said that she would talk to me in person but she will not comeback to me... It is the end, but I will seek profesional help, it is not normal that I put my whole life on a single woman. I feel more lucid than yesterday even though I may go back to the depressive state tomorrow, who knows, It terrifies me but what options do I have? 

Thanks for replying, believe or not it is of great help to me.  

Hello everyone, 

I know this isn't shoe related but, I really need to let off some steam  Until yesterday I had a 4 and a half years of relationship with a wonderful girl, never been treated better or been more loved before her. She helped me get on the track and go back to school (I am 26 y.o. and 8 months from becoming an electromechanical engineer), feel "normal" and happy with wearing heels (she helped me expand my collection of heels from 3 to almost 40 pairs  ) even let me wear crossdress just for fun... She felt that she needed to be "free" and know how life is (she is 4 years younger than I and her parents were overprotective, didn't let her go out to party) since she was working and studying she felt less "confined" but felt that she needed space frome me, she asked me for some time but you all know what that means  ... Did you ever experienced that before? I am crying like a lil' kid as all of my plans incluided her, I was studying because I wanted to offer her a happy future; maybe it is because I am boring (I don't know how to dance and I don't like to go out for the same reason) or because there is someone else in her heart now  .

I would appreciate if you reply or give me some advice as I see there are a lot of older, wiser and more secure gentlemen than me in here. I dunno if there are any women in here that could give me an advice as well... I feel like I am not worth a dime, and that I will never find another woman as her ever again  I can't even look at my high heels collection without thinking about her, but I can't throw them all to the trash! I am very bad for making and keeping friendships and I have only a friend which happens to be her cousin (male).

I hope thay my English is understandable as It is not my native language. Thank You 

LJ 

9 hours ago, KneeBooted said:

Hi all,

So the wife has put me on hold from buying any more shoes until I clean out my closet, haha!

With that said, I am selling these thigh highs. As much as I love them, the heel is too high for me and they are unlikely to end up in my daily wardrobe.

They have never been worn outside, and only ever tried on.

They were somewhere like $175 new, but let's face it, that's not ideal pricing.

I would like to get $80 plus shipping for them. I will entertain offers. They are not yet listed on eBay because I would prefer that they go to a fellow true enthusiast

Feel free to message me.

-Jeff

You are soooooo lucky to have a wife that loves you and supports your love for high heels :') 
 

Hello everyone, 

I know this isn't shoe related but, I really need to let off some steam  Until yesterday I had a 4 and a half years of relationship with a wonderful girl, never been treated better or been more loved before her. She helped me get on the track and go back to school (I am 26 y.o. and 8 months from becoming an electromechanical engineer), feel "normal" and happy with wearing heels (she helped me expand my collection of heels from 3 to almost 40 pairs  ) even let me wear crossdress just for fun... She felt that she needed to be "free" and know how life is (she is 4 years younger than I and her parents were overprotective, didn't let her go out to party) since she was working and studying she felt less "confined" but felt that she needed space frome me, she asked me for some time but you all know what that means  ... Did you ever experienced that before? I am crying like a lil' kid as all of my plans incluided her, I was studying because I wanted to offer her a happy future; maybe it is because I am boring (I don't know how to dance and I don't like to go out for the same reason) or because there is someone else in her heart now  .

I would appreciate if you reply or give me some advice as I see there are a lot of older, wiser and more secure gentlemen than me in here. I dunno if there are any women in here that could give me an advice as well... I feel like I am not worth a dime, and that I will never find another woman as her ever again  I can't even look at my high heels collection without thinking about her, but I can't throw them all to the trash! I am very bad for making and keeping friendships and I have only a friend which happens to be her cousin (male).

I hope thay my English is understandable as It is not my native language. Thank You 

LJ 

On 16/02/2017 at 12:36 PM, aristoc said:

So in that vein. On the way to the office this morning took a quick impromptu vid in the car park.

 

I think I Walk kinda' like you in High Heels @aristoc, Nice combination with the trousers covering half of the heel  and By the way, I have a jacket like yours, but mine is burgundy. 

20 hours ago, mlroseplant said:

I second the video idea, if you've got the room to really walk naturally. That is the way I learned to walk in heels without looking like a complete idiot. I had no idea how strange I looked until I saw myself on video.

After you make a video of yourself, you can then compare yourself to the many, many videos of women walking in high heels in the style of your choice, and make adjustments to your own walk. Here is one of my favorite walking (well, and then running) videos which influenced my style of walking. It is a very athletic style of walk, which I find quite appealing. I know many people don't like this style of walking, but it's the one I prefer to do and to see in most situations. To each his own. Good luck to you on your journey!

I like that style of walking! Thanks for the tips mlroseplant

Thank you Thighbootguy, 

Maybe I'll go out next weekend without the wig, as you said going out as a female takes a lot of work and I dont know how to use make up (nor plan on spending my money on all of those things haha, I rather use that money to keep buying high heels as I still have some pairs on my wishlist) and I struggle with my walk (I can walk up to 5" platform heels without a problem but not a femenine way). 

I'm gonna start practicing, take videos of myself walking inside the house, because I definitely want to try again (the sensation was like my first time riding a rollercoaster haha), and maybe someday have the guts to go to more "public" places as you did to a restaurant

btw Some of my fears of being spotted by drivers is the absurd idea that some driver may be curious and step out to see. Sounds unlikely to happen but can't stop thinking about that. 

Thanks to all of you guys for answering!

I went out last weekend at midnight. I wore a pair of black rounded toe platform booties w/5" stiletto heels, boot cut tight jeans, a tan wool coat, a black turtle neck shirt (to hide my adams apple) and a black wig (didnt wear any make up lol) It's not that I Like women clothes as much as heels, but as Im short and very slim guy (5'8" 135lbs)I think I can pass as a woman and draw less atention or have the complete look haha. It was very hard and I was very very nervous (felt my heart beating very very fast) and hesitated a lot to step out of my car; when I finally went out it was to an atm outside a bank but as soon as I heard any car noise or lights I just went back running to my car haha. I gotta say that this experience was more frightening than exciting, but think that I can Improve, build more confidence, maybe study and practice femenine movements to draw less atention, etc. 

I could not take any photos as I did it without planning it (had the clothes and heels in the trunk just in case I had the guts lol)

What do you guys do when you get spotted by ppl? I can only think of running away! 

 

On 27/5/2016 at 0:34 PM, peppino said:

hello everyone I'm an Italian guy who loves to wear high heels I wanted to congratulate you all for the beautiful shoes. here is my pair of heels primadonna shoes with heels heel 12

I simply LOVE your heels, pointed toe stilettos are my favorite type of heels!