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hiddenheels

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Everything posted by hiddenheels

  1. Agreed. Many people say heels are uncomfortable, my wife included. But to me, yes, there are uncomfortable heels, but there are so many that look great and are comfortable! Just because they don't like it doesn't mean that noone likes it.
  2. Thanks! I haven't had a chance to experiment at all with it, but I am really leaning towards shortening it, it's just too long for my taste. I will try to post a before/after picture. Regarding going out at night, I have the same thoughts. Going out at night is safe, in that noone will probably see you, but at the same time the fact that (at the moment) I'm only comfortable going out at night makes me feel bad, as in I'm doing something bad. It'll take me a bit of time to get used to this idea, and find something I'm comfortable in, before I even think of venturing to a store or something. I'm glad to hear I'm not the only one going through these thoughts. Thank you for sharing that! Means a lot. I have so far been really careful about where/when I wear my things, but sometimes I also tend to forget what I'm wearing, and have almost had a few such incidents like you. Would you mind sharing some details about your confusion, or internal struggle? The last few months have been really hard sometimes due to this struggle. Ups and downs. I'm OK right now, but there are times when it's a lot of anger. Thanks!
  3. hiddenheels

    Cali World

    Well done! Does Steve Madden carry size 11 in the US? I don't see that size up here in Canada...
  4. You are assuming I have a sense of style... I don't think I do, at least not without extensive trial-and-error, after which I think I can put together an outfit that I think looks good. But I've done this "I think it looks good" with traditional male cloths, and my wife completely disagrees with me. So it's hard. And I don't want to shave my legs, so am not sure what to do there either: go unshaved, or try to hide it, but then how? Tips would be appreciated. Thank you for the encouragement, no one is more surprised about this than I am. 20 years of hiding and feelings of disgrace... and now as I try to accept and embrace it, instead of pushing it away, in 6 months I'm going out in a skirt with the heels fully visible (albeit at night). Very exciting!
  5. And how's she taking this change?
  6. The outfits look great!
  7. Good luck, and please keep posting!
  8. This looks great, never thought about wedges, but the look works! Hey, I completely know where you're coming from. I don't know if/how I could broach this subject with my wife, I really don't want any conflict especially over this. But until a week or two ago, I never thought about skirts either, did nothing for me, until I tried them... One step at a time. That is awesome, love that plaid skirt look! I did order one of these a few days ago, will take forever to get here though, can't wait. Having said that, went to another second-hand store yesterday and did manage to snag a skirt similar to yours, but in blue (instead of black). It's small, but for $5 I couldn't resist. Will have to move (re-sew) some of the buttons after which it'll fit great. The one I bought it was too long, goes down to my knees, so I will also need to take a pair of scissors to it. In my mind, it'll look great, just need a few hours to experiment with it, which will not happen in the near future. ------------ Sunday night managed to go out again! It was already dark outside, in a residential neighbourhood, a few cars passed by, but nothing else happened. Similar outfit to the above, but a "safer" chunky heel 4" ankle boots with a new-to-me denim skirt. Parked, and without another thought managed to get out of the car, adjust myself and start walking. The walk was about 20 minutes, and felt completely natural, wasn't nervous, and was able to just enjoy the quiet and the walk. Interestingly enough, with the heels and skirt "out in your face" (as opposed to hiding it under my jeans), for whatever reason, I actually felt more comfortable. "It's there, can't hide it, so might as well enjoy it." Not sure I would have the courage yet to go somewhere with a lot of people though... At least a few more trips out at night are most likely required.
  9. Haven't ventured outside in any outfit since that time, but did manage to buy some more skirts at a second-hand store, specifically was looking for denim skirt, as I really like that look. I've experimented around at home, and have found that the look is simply awesome. I love it. I feel comfortable in them, both physically, and increasingly emotionally. That first experience was completely overwhelming, and I'm still reading, researching, etc, on how this works, what styles look good, etc. Any style tips would be super welcome.
  10. Thanks for the words of encouragement. I was hoping I was making good progress with this internal struggle. I was finding my way and getting used to wearing heels with jeans, and venturing out whenever possible. I was falling into a routine, with cloths and feelings, and all that. Now this threw a monkey-wrench into the whole thing... Now I'm feeling like I'm starting from scratch with everything. One thing for sure, it certainly makes the jeans look tame in comparison. Thanks to you too for the encouragement. I have now calmed down a bit, and am starting to process what the heck is going on. Will have to get some more skirts to experiment with, as this is completely new territory for me and I have no real clue what I'm doing. Fortunately these things are ~$5 at second hand stores, which make it perfect for experimenting. For top, what would you suggest? I am honestly clueless with how to proceed. I tried different colours but nothing really worked in my eyes. Any advice would be appreciated. Thanks!
  11. This is so true. w6ish, you make it look easy, and in a way it is comforting (for the rest of us) knowing that what I, as an "amateur", am going through is part of the process. Good luck!
  12. Alright, I'm completely confused. Can't make heads or tails of my thoughts. Haven't slept well for the past few days. For the past two decades I have worn heels exclusively at home, with very very infrequent outings, at night. In the last year I started wearing them out more, have bought a few boot-cut jeans to hide the heels, have become more comfortable with myself, and being outside in heels. The jeans cover most of it anyway, and thus far I have not received any comments. Have been to a few stores, and coffee shops, usually quite self conscious, sometimes am able to relax and just enjoy things. Never been interested in more than heels. Then on Saturday I find some black pantyhose in my stash of jeans, don't remember how it got there, but thought I would try it on with one of my black knee-boots. Ended up thinking that a skirt would complete the look. So Sunday I stop by a second-hand store, quickly grab two mini-skirts that look good and will probably fit. Monday I had a few hours at home, and the first thing I do is try things on, black pantyhose, 4-5" stiletto black knee-boots, and a grey mini-skirt that went down to mid-thy. Now, this is probably the first time I try on skirts, and never considered it, never was curious about it, but the look and feeling was amazing. I have no ideas how to match the top with the bottom, meaning, what shirt or sweater I need to complete the look because I don't want to "pass", I have stubble and am not going to put on makeup or wear a wig (no disrespect, but that's not my thing). But I don't know how to complete the outfit, well, because I have never thought what I would wear if I wore a skirt. After some brief trial-and-error I figure the jacket completes the look quite well, and thus the shirt is largely irrelevant. And look in the mirror. What I saw confused the heck out of me. It was comfortable, I felt comfortable, but at the same time super-weird. That was the most unusual look I have seen on me, and I couldn't place it at all. WTF was I doing? Given my pattern with heeling outside, never obviously showing the heels, the logical thing at this point for me would have been to enjoy the experience at home, in private. But no. I had this indescribable urge to be outside. It was overwhelming. It was dark outside, late evening. I got into the car, and went to a place that I infrequent for heeling, a small park in a residential neighbourhood. Park, and without any major self-talk, get out of the car and start walking. The entire walk took about 15 minutes total, beside some houses and roads. Some cars passed, I met no other person walking. Parts of the trip was under heavy lighting, beside some condos. I didn't meet anyone, nor talk to anyone. Skirt was mostly visible. Boots completely uncovered. I felt "normal", didn't care that my legs showed. I frequently get the fight-or-flight response, trying to stop my heart from jumping out. After a while that goes away, and I become calmer. If I'm able to relax more, I end up usually happy/thrilled with the experience. This time I was rather calm the entire time, no panicking, no low or high emotions. Was focusing on just walking. Would say it was more like a state of "what is just happening, I can't comprehend this"? In short. The experience was fantastic. I loved it. But my mind hasn't stopped reeling since that night. I can barely sleep. I have all sorts of mixed up feelings. Why did I do that? I'm not ashamed, but it was completely out of character. What the heck do I want with this. What was I thinking? Where is this going? Is this something new that I will eventually want to explain to my wife? Why can't I be "normal" (according to society)? [I'm not comfortable sharing images, this is as good as it'll get]
  13. Alright, I'll use this forum for some self-reflection in an effort to get these thoughts out of my head. Am very very frustrated, at the inability to find the time to relax, and enjoy just being myself. Between work, kids, clubs, and family in general, I barely have any time to "just be". My wife knows about the heels, and she's OK with it, but not supportive. I'm grateful for at least that. But between all the other commitments, where heels are a no-go, I find that I can wear them for only a few hours a week, usually at home. Maybe take a short trip to a coffee shop once a week if I plan things carefully and have work that I can do there, and not at work. This obsession is driving me somewhat crazy, and the desire to wear these, and dress accordingly (jeans, sweater, jacket & heels - with stubble on my face, so not even trying to look lady-like) is super strong. This all ends up in frustration. Day in, day out. Been thinking about trying to push the boundaries a bit at work, but right now is not the proper time for this, perhaps in a year or so. Often frustration turns to anger, at really wanting to do something, but the inability to do it. Maybe I should discuss this with my wife, ask for her help, and try to go out, alone, a bit more often. Today, at a store, me not wearing heels, I saw a woman dressed like I aspire to, with towering heels. Although it was only a brief glimpse, envy kicked in. *That's* what I want to do. Is anyone content with what they're doing, vs. what they would like to do? Feeling a bit better. Venting over...
  14. OUTING: Been busy. However, did get a chance to go to another coffee shop a few days ago, same dark red 4" boots, with blue jeans, dark red sweater and a jacket. Parked near the coffee shop and just sat in the car. Could feel my heart knocking trying to get out. Calmed myself eventually by trying to clear my mind of any thoughts. Once that was done, was able to not think, and got out of the car. Went in, somewhat self conscious, but after ordering and sitting at a table that was facing the main entrance, with the heels probably visible, did my thing for about an hour before heading out. Noone said anything, and I'm glad I was able to do this. Right now, feeling quite upset, possibly a topic for a new thread.
  15. Haha, yes, the pant legs stop 1" above the ground. To make long pants shorter, I've rolled up the bottoms a bit before, that thin stripe I think looks pretty good.
  16. Had to go do some brief shopping yesterday. Been waiting for the opportunity for a while now, and been thinking about it for what seems like forever... Anyway, the day came. Put on my usual blue boot-cut jeans, and some dark red chunky heels, about 4" high. So comfortable. The negative self-talk started, and my anxiety kicked in, but I managed to stop it, not think, and just go. Ended up browsing around a book store, bought some stuff, then drove to a supermarket to buy some food. Was out for a total of 2 hours, but loved it. Not a single comment. The boots stop about 1" above the ground, so when walking the heels are somewhat obvious if you happen to look down. Was just good to be me... Getting out of the car took just a tiny bit of effort, so need to practice more. But I have found that I'm much more interested in "just doing my thing" (in heels) regardless of the time-of-day, rather than going to a quiet park. I am seeing progress in my thinking, and how I view myself when looking in the mirror. The heels are becoming a more natural look when I'm wearing them...
  17. Fortunately I have not had any negative experiences, but the shoes look great, would love a pair. We are constantly focusing on the wrong side of the equation. For every startup success we hear, there are (probably) millions we do not hear of. For each negative comment you hear, there are (probably) millions of positive comments (or indifference, which is also good) you do not hear. Please try to look at all the other moments when nothing happened.
  18. That looks really classy. Very well done! And to the dentist? Well done!
  19. Keep it up! When out and about, I also do not aim to be 'hot', just myself...
  20. Where was this conference? I need to do this...
  21. Inspiring choice of cloths! Looks good!
  22. Been busy, no heeling outside for two months now. But did make a quick trip today. Went to the mail box, but took a 15 minute detour... Was dressed comfortably in my 4" block heels and blue jeans. It was dark, some joggers went by, and a bunch of cars. It was a non-event, but damn it was good to get it out of my system.
  23. Interesting article. I'll do my share in promoting this trend!
  24. I feel the exact same way. They look great on women, but when I put them on, it just "feels right", like "this is how it should be". I've explained it to my wife using these words, and she understands. Doesn't like it, but understands. In any case, it's not a fetish, although I do have a few heels that I'm sure would be categorized as fetish, and those are just for fun at home.
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