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hiddenheels

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Everything posted by hiddenheels

  1. If this desire was pent up in me since the I was a teen, and all of a sudden I had a chance to explore it, I would also go and buy everything. Over my life, I am sure I've bought more than 49, and a lot of it was to experiment, do I like this, do I like that? This doesn't fit style-wise, so let's try that. It took a lot of trial and error to figure out what I want, and what I like. So from that perspective, I can completely see myself doing the exact same thing, assuming I were in his position. This same experience was just spread out over 20 years for me, which, to a degree, I regret it took so long to figure things out.
  2. True. We (people who have never seen war) simply cannot comprehend what it is like, and thus do not have the proper frame of reference for comparison. Yes, activities where you can get killed are on several levels above guy-heeling. I am fortunate, and very grateful, that I have the luxury to explore my inner self, and my desires to wear heels, unlike those battling for their existence.
  3. Excellent work, especially in such a short time! Took me a decade to be as comfortable as I am with myself, and find making much more progress in the last few months than in the last decade total. But still nowhere near where you are. :)
  4. Just came back from a short last-minute business trip. Didn't want to go, but decided to make the best of it. On the way to the airport, in the parking lot, swapped jeans to something longer than my "standard" jeans, and put on my 4" wedge boots, something like this: https://www.aldoshoes.com/us/en_US/women/footwear/boots/ankle-boots/Chomette-Black/p/12698452 Jeans would hide most of the shoe anyway. Was quite nervous at this point... Got on the train to the terminal, checked in, bought some food, and went to security. It was empty, so was able to go straight through. Before crossing the xray, the guy looked at me and asked me to show him my shoes. I was prepared for this, so casually showed him my shoes, and he asked me to walk through. Sat around waiting for the flight, but by this time I was quite comfortable in how I looked. The flight was short and uneventful. I had some space on the flight, so stretched out a bit, I'm sure the shoes were visible (upon arrival, did get some looks from the two guys across the aisle, but could have been my imagination). Out of the airport, into the taxi, then hotel. When I arrived, I was quite satisfied with myself. It wasn't too late in the evening, so changed into a 4" stiletto heel boots, and went out for a walk. When checking in, the hotel was empty of people, so I was expecting no audience when clicking along in the hotel lobby, but alas, no, a bunch of people were checking in... One lady did sort of a double-take as she nearly tripped into me (by this time I was comfortable with the heels, so just enjoyed her reaction, rather than let it bug me).Walked around outside for 20-30 minutes, exploring a bit before heading back. The following day I again had an opportunity to go out, same stiletto boots. This time the lobby was pretty empty, and I spent about an hour walking around outside, exploring. It was after business hours, cold, so not a lot of people on the streets. Didn't want to go into any stores, but browsed. It was quite a lot of fun. On the way home, I just relaxed as I didn't have a chance to wear my heels anyway... Overall, good trip!
  5. Excellent to hear! Good progress! Hopefully you'll be able to do this more often now that the ice has been broken. :)
  6. Interesting coincidence! Been looking at those boots for the past two weeks, hoping Size 11 would at some point be available up here in Canada. Didn't find it on Amazon/eBay either. They're gorgeous shoes!
  7. The boots I wore were like that, not exactly that. Faux leather, goes up to my knees. But under jeans, who knows... Self-talk sucks. I need to learn never to start it. Regarding compliments, I was somewhat expecting to hear some comment, but heard nothing, positive or negative. So far in all my adventures, I've heard nothing from anyone, just noticed some looks. But hey, I would also look if I noticed a guy wearing something unexpected. --------------- As an aside, I've noticed a transition in my own patterns recently. Up until about 2 years ago, I wanted nothing more than to walk out during the night, in places where the chances of meeting anyone were small. About 2 years ago, I started going to parks during daytime where I knew I would probably not meet anyone, and still wanted to take advantage of any opportunity to go out at night in quiet locations. Then something changed about 6 months ago. Now I lost pretty much all desire to go out during the night to secluded places, and much rather go out during daytime and "just do my normal thing" but in my preferred shoes. If the opportunity was there for me to go out during the night, I would prefer to go someplace a bit more busy. Just reflecting on this change... Weird.
  8. Don't know how it is within your environment, but this is not a topic I would start talking about behind someone's back. I don't like office politics, and would never get involved in a discussion like this. So perhaps no one knows but her?
  9. Thank you for these words of wisdom. I have started to realize that I feel really comfortable in heels, and am not really looking at them as women's shoes any more. They're "just" shoes... As such, my comfort level has gone up when wearing them out. --------- OUTING: A few days ago I had a bit of time, and a huge itching, to go someplace in heels. Ended up in my usual outfit, dark blue jeans and a black jacket, but then the debate became the shoes... Which should I wear? Do I feel somewhat shy, in which case maybe my new 4" wedge booties, or a bit riskier and wear a non-wedge heeled boot? At the end, I decided I will wear one of my current favourites. The "bottom" of the boots sort of look like this, but a 4" heel. They are super-comfortable, and amazingly I bought them at a 2nd hand shop for really cheap. I feel very stable in them, and think they look great with a pair of dark-blue jeans and black jacket. Ended up doing some self-talk at home, which although it was supposed to be positive in the end is actually quite negative, almost didn't make it out of the house. After a while, I got upset with myself, put my thoughts aside, grabbed my stuff, and drove out. Went to a store as I needed to buy a few things. Was hoping for it to be quiet, but was actually quite busy. Ended up walking around and grabbing the stuff on my list, paying and exiting. Total of 20 minutes maybe of walking around. I honestly don't remember a lot about the visit, was somewhat pre-occupied, and quite "high" (not on drugs, but emotionally due to the heels, if you pardon the pun). Overall I felt very liberated by the time I finished. After the store, on the way home, I stopped by a coffee-shop. Got out, went in, bought a drink for myself, and went outside to sit by the outdoor tables and do a bit of work. I was there maybe about 20 minutes. The jeans stop about 1" off the ground, which hides the heels quite well when walking, but does nothing when sitting. So I'm sitting there, doing some work, drinking, with the heels essentially in full view. I wasn't flaunting it. Was sitting near the drive-through, in plain view of the people pulling up. Also completely visible from inside the coffee-shop. In the past I usually put my backpack against one of my legs, covering the shoes somewhat, but this time I put it onto the chair next to me. So I'm sure the entire bottom of the heels were in plain sight. It was so liberating. "high" is the best way to describe it (I assume, as I've never done drugs).
  10. Those are super-hot! We don't have them here in Canada unfortunately. Have something similar, but doesn't go up to size 11. That style though is my favourite, and it's so hard to find...
  11. That outfit looks awesome, wish I had white pants like those...
  12. UPDATE: Am home... Was busy with work the rest of the trip, and didn't get any chances to wear anything. The first flight more than made up for it though! On the way home, was simply too tired to do anything fancy, so decided to just pack in the heels for the trip back. Interestingly enough, as I'm boarding my plane, in a city far far away from home, I hear my name, turn around, and there's a current colleague of mine, coming home from vacation, on the exact same flight. Needless to say, dodged a small bullet there... Tired now, but am happy with the way the trip turned out overall.
  13. Sorry for the short post, and thank you for all the replies/encouragement! I will definitely come back and reply in detail. Just very busy... UPDATE: After checking into the hotel, rested a bit, and, as I had the evening to myself, wanted to explore the new city a bit. It was still light outside, and I didn't know the neighbourhood at all, the types of sidewalks, etc, so I put the same light-brown 4" chunky heels-that-look-like-work-shoes back on with the long jeans and went exploring a bit. Ended up walking around downtown for about an hour, enjoying the sights and getting to know the neighbourhood. Didn't venture into any stores as I didn't care, but took photos and just enjoyed myself. For the shoes, I did notice a few people glanced, specifically remember one guy (walking with a girl) look down as they passed by me and continue walking away rather amused (possibly because of me, possibly not). I definitely did see some ladies in heels, one specifically who either had a broken heel or couldn't walk in them at all, and another that definitely couldn't walk in them properly but was trying anyway. Those sights actually ended up boosting my own confidence. There were looots of tourists around, it was quite crowded. Got back to the hotel, rested, and a few hours later, when it was dark, ended up going exploring again. This time I wanted to wear my 4.5" not-quite-stiletto boots. Think they look awesome. Found a small grocery store nearby and needed some food, so I ended up walking to the store, going in, buying some small items. Afterwards decided to head back downtown. Ended up walking around downtown again, exploring new streets and checking the sights at night. Quite enjoyed myself. The shoes were great. Three times I was enjoying myself so much I didn't quite watch where I was going and the heels slipped. I didn't trip or anything, but took my confidence down a notch, those cobblestone streets can be challenging. Although it was night, there were still tons of people out. My goal was to eat something from a fast-food place, but at the end my stomach was on a different time-zone so I ended up calling it a day and going back to the hotel. Quite a successful day overall!
  14. OUTING: Am on a short trip. Yesterday I decided to be adventurous. On my way to the airport, I drove most of the way, parked, and changed into my 4" block light-brown heels, probably .5" platform because the heels can barely be felt. It looks like work-shoes with some chunky heels... That, dark sweater, and jeans that end 1" from the ground. Walked to the train to take me to the airport. At the airport, checked in, and proceeded to go through security. I was hoping hoping that I could walk right through, and noticed that no-one was taking their shoes off (yay!), but alas, after I unpacked my stuff onto the belt, the guy looked at me, and asked me to put my shoes through the xray. Interestingly, I had a non-reaction to this, knelt down and proceeded to take the shoes off as it was the most natural thing. Really didn't give a hoot. Shoes went through xray, on the other side, with a bunch of other people idling by, grabbed by stuff & shoes, put them on, and walked to my gate. I'm really surprised by my reaction, or lack of, on this. Compared to the embarrasment I felt just a few months ago, I definitely did not expect this level of "change". In any case, bought some food and drinks, waited around, eventually boarded the plane, and sat, isle seat. The flight was long, 5-6 hours, but was comfy all the way through. I was definitely more self-conscious than usual, but nothing too much. Did my thing, as usual. The flight was uneventful, no-one said anything, although it was impossible not to notice, the whole thing was visible. Flight landed, got off, walked through the airport, got on the train to take me downtown, broad daylight. Then walked to my hotel room (~15 minute walk?), checked in. Wore those heels for a personal record-setting 14-15 hours. It was very satisfying! More later...
  15. While that sucks, you can look at the silver lining and buy more heels...
  16. 100% that's a positive comment!
  17. Decided to go out Monday morning. Figured I would take care of some shopping, go to a few stores... Was thinking of wearing some 4" block boots, and got started trying to find the best outfit for it, the proper jeans and sweater. However, during the hour I was trying on different combinations (which itself is quite a bit of fun!), I found I was actually much more comfortable in my 4.5" not-quite-stiletto boots. Had a specific set of jeans in mind, but found that it was too long, the end of the jeans were almost dragging on the floor, and when I'm walking around the jeans tend to slide down just a bit, causing the end of the jeans to drag on the floor, something I really don't like. So I rolled up the bottom of the jeans an inch, making the length perfect. Looking at it, I quite liked it, with the light-blue stripe at the bottom of the jeans. At the end, when I was happy with it, the super-annoying self-talk started, but this time I recognized where it will lead, and I shut it down. Got in the car, went to one of the stores, parked, got out, and decided to check out a dollar store which was across the parking lot. Walked over, walked in, looked around. I felt so powerful in those heels, so perfect. Was just a tiny bit self-conscious. I knew the heels showed, and anyone looking would recognize something is not quite right... Bought some stuff, paid and left. Went into a grocery store, spent ~30 minutes buying stuff, paid and got back out. Drove to a coffee shop, worked for an hour. Usually it's very difficult leave home. Once out of my house, it's difficult to get out of the car. Once sitting in the coffee shop, it's also hard to stand up and walk out. But today things went splendidly, walked around, did what I needed to. Came home, and just smiled to myself.
  18. The outfit looks great! Hopefully we'll all free comfortable wearing that, for now I'm still progressing towards that. But definitely not something to laugh at.
  19. OUTING: I tried to wear my boots on Sunday, but when it came down to it I talked myself out of it. It wasn't anything fancy, a 4" very chunky-heeled pair of shoes, at first glance you can barely tell they're women's shoes, but they're comfy. Not sure why I didn't go through with it, but I was really disappointed. So I planned this great outing for Monday to make up for it. When it came to going on Monday, I spent a lot of time on positive self-talk, but it was taking forever and my anxiety didn't leave. With time running out, I got a bit pissed off, "they're only shoes!", put on some jeans, a pair of 4.5" bit-thicker-than-stiletto boots and went to a coffee shop to work a bit on my laptop. Not my original plan, but salvaged the opportunity. Once I sat down, the full heel became visible, and there's no way to deny what they are. When I got there, I jumped out of the car without delay, walked in, bought my stuff, sat down at an outside table, and worked on my laptop for an hour. Didn't give myself a chance to analyze things to death in the car. The shop had lots of people in it, and the people going in drive-through could also easily see me. I didn't care. At the end, some conclusions: - Self-talk sucks. My problem is thinking too much. Paralysis by analysis. - I felt amazing, standing in the shop, walking around a bit. Top of the world! Powerful and "just right". - No one said anything. **THESE** are what I need to remember, not the anxiety caused by the imaginary potential comments from a bunch of random people I will never see again.
  20. Sorry to hear! They both look fantastic!
  21. I wish I could clock 200 hours in a pair of heels... Would be so happy! :) Maybe one day...
  22. OUTING: Had a chance to go downtown yesterday. Found a quiet spot and changed into my ~4.5" chunky boot, my favourite right now. I was pretty comfortable after the initial first steps, and spent ~30 minutes just walking about. The sun was going down, so it was half dark, but crossed streets, walked by others. Didn't get any comments, nor did I hear anything related to me. Didn't want to change out of those shoes, so to go home, got on transit, and came home. It was a thrill! One unusual experience though. I'm walking along, minding my own business, mainly focusing on not tripping in my heels, when I heard a girl behind me in what I thought was laughter. She kept "laughing", and I was getting more and more self-conscious, but worked hard in not ruffling my feathers. Eventually she passed me, at which point I noticed that she's not laughing but was instead crying. She walked by paying no attention to me. Just another realization that everyone is wrapped up in their own world. I never found out why she was crying...
  23. Thanks. Agree that women don't tend to wear heels, which makes it even more difficult for me to do so. One realization though... I do karate, and sometimes on the way to/from my workout, I will stop by a store and buy something, in my workout gear. Completely different cloths, completely non-standard, but I feel perfectly comfortable even though I stick out like a sore thumb. I've been reflecting on this a lot, comparing why I feel fine dressed like that, but completely self-conscious when I put on a pair of heels that you can barely see...
  24. Not a fan of the face-decoration, gives the wrong impression... Otherwise, way to go!
  25. I'm now somewhat comfortable in coffee-shops, downtown, but am still looking for a lot more opportunities where I get the feeling that wearing heels is appropriate and would fit in if a woman were wearing it. Not a lot of opportunities unfortunately. I guess I just need to make sure that my attire is appropriate for the situation, and I'm still figuring that out. I'm very self-conscious when wearing heels, regardless of where I am, but that'll probably pass with time. @Jkrenzer: "wearing heels to boldly going where no man has gone before". Love this! :)
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