Dan J

Perhaps another posting I made this morning (#12 in http://www.hhplace.org/discuss/everybody/10493-own_up_time_ladies-2.html#post158933) has proved appropriate if not providential.

Puffer: Glad you cleared that one up with the other thread. Even still, I think that this thread is strong enough to keep going for awhile, just based on interest (or lack of) in SJP or SITC.

I, for one, have enjoyed the show thoroughly (I may be a minority male here.) I would tune in just to see what those whacky girls come up with. And I would agree, SJC may not be the sexiest on the screen, but I'm perplexed as well as to why she would be considered the un-sexiest - with or without her shoes.

You could even do a poll, if you want: Which one is the sexiest: Carrie, Samantha, Miranda or Charlotte?

Dan

Just for a break from shoes, you might try flowers, clothing, or some kind of jewelery, for a change. Good luck.

Agreed. We don't know how many times or how often you've bought footwear for her in the past. If she's dropped you hints that she's looking for a particular shoe to go with an outfit she's working on, that's fine - it means you're paying attention and you're helping her. She'll appreciate it, even if you get the wrong size, style, etc.

If she's dropped no hints, or if you've bought a fair share of them already - change would be good.

Dan

In reference to Stockw's thread on the most expensive shoes ever bought or received, I'll offer the following:

What was the best deal on a pair of shoes or boots you ever bought or were given, either percentage or amount?

I'll go first: Years ago, there was a boot brand called "Zodiac", that I'm sure many on this site are familiar with. As a Valentine's Day gift to my spouce, by pure chance, instead of the usual chocolates, etc., I found a pair of OTK, all-suede leather, 4" heel, then-regularly priced at $105, on-sale at $35. I could not pass this up. I was not sure she would even like the boots - she loved them, I and loved seeing her in them.

She got more than only the boots, by the way.

Dan

I think that OTK boots in the street is fine for any age-group who can still manage heels which only rules out the very elderly. As for thigh boots, only young pretty girls can really get away with them IMO apart from in the fetish clubs of course!!!

Agreed on both the OTK and thigh-high.

As far as time-of-year, there is a practical concern with feet becoming too hot, though cooler climates can extend the season somewhat.

Dan

Is it really worth worrying about? By that I mean - Is it a big enough concern that you may decide never to go out in public? That would be a shame, because you would be depriving yourself of who you are, or how you wish to express yourself. Especially, since it's been stated by so many people that the vast majority of people could really care less about what you wear.

After all, it's been said on other threads on this site that the more that people go out, the more "common" it becomes.

I'm not saying that you shouldn't be mindful of going to places where there is an unreasonable likelihood of drawing unwanted criticism, but security cameras and such are everywhere - it's a fact of life.

Dan

AMEN brother.

Come on guys get out there as we do. The more it is seen, the more it will be copied.

TB2

Agreed.

Dan

I don't think it should be an issue, for the guy or the woman. Lots of women who are 5'-5 or 6 barefoot may be 5'-9 or 10 in heels which, depending on the guy, may be taller than the guy. If the guy wants to, he can wear heels, but he shouldn't feel that it's necessary. Dan

at work there a couple of women who often stop me and pull up my trouser legs to see what i'm wearing that day....

nice !!

Designer (and the whole gang): Is it me, or have you noticed the women seem to be much more inquisitive and outspoken (usually positive) regarding men in heels?

I agree with the earlier comments, it's usually indifference, but like others on this thread, I usually plan where I wish to go, first. Certain locales or time of day can invite unwanted comments.

Dan

Heelfan: A good post, but as I read thru it from the beginning, it sounds like, with the exception of NYC in the US, it's very rare outside of a publicized heel-meet, which matches what I and others have noticed throughout the rest of the US. Not saying it never happens; I've been all over the Midwest, just very rare on the sightings. Sightings appear to be much more prevalent in the UK, judging by the responses you're getting. Am I wrong, or are not enough others responding? Dan

As I have stated in some previous postings, I have not seen any other men in public waring (feminine) high heels. I have seen some men wear boots with maybe two or three inch stacked heels or cowboy boots with as high as three inch heels. I wear pumps or open-toe slingbacks with spike heels.

So to you guys who have an urge to heel in public, come on out and say Hi! Believe me, you are welcome.

Ron: I used to have a pair of men's western boots, that had a high (for a guy) 3" stacked heel, that had a taper to it. I asked, when I bought the boots, why the taper, and was told that the heel is better suited for digging into the dirt (think cowboys, here). They looked great, but were very difficult to walk in.

Dan

Ohio is becoming pretty much free thinking. Have yet to see another guy in heels, but people look at me like it's perfectly normal 99% of the time.

I would second that. Similarly, I've been around Chicago, Kansas City, Minneapolis, Milwaukee, and both coasts in the US - same story. Never seen any other guy in heels, but never an unkind remark either, though I expect it will eventually happen, just by the odds alone.

Usually, a smile, a raised eyebrow or, most often, nothing - which is the way I prefer it.

Excellent question asked.

Dan

Actually there aren't....

Dr.Shoe, I'm in agreement with you. Actually, this site has well exceeded my expectations. Just the diversity alone....it's a great crowd.

To the others commenting negatively about those not yet going outside, that's not being supportive. We're all at different places on this road, and some have not made that jump. And for some, it is a big jump.

Dan

.....you'll never please all the people all the time WHATEVER you do or wear !! Dont be shy about it or even bring it into a conversation; people value character and a sense of fun and humour most of all !!!

Designer: Great comments. Here's one of mine, on a similar track to wearing heels. Years ago, I had a relative who always wore a bow tie. It was part of his identity. (Think about the last time you met anyone who wore a bow tie.)

Anyway, no one ever questioned it; it was accepted as part of him. In fact, if he didn't wear his tie, he looked odd. What made this interesting was, he always had a different perspective on the way to look at things - a great conversationalist. He respected your opinion, he listened to people. Very intelligent.

I say all this because I would bet we all know someone like that, or are that way ourselves - unique, and perhaps maybe a little bit crazy.

Dan

Adeana: That depends. I think we would prefer your opinion, rather than what you overheard. The other problem is: Would the 2 co-workers in the nearby cubicle appreciate you discussing their opinions without their knowledge? Dan

How does being called "Honey" imply that they think you're gay? I've been called honey lots of times. Doesn't bother me and doesn't mean they think I'm gay.

In fact, why is it negative to be gay? I guess it's only bad if you're in a situation where you want women to be interested in you as a straight guy.

Heeld: You are absolutely correct, and forgive me if I implied anything. I, too, have heard "honey" used either way, straight or gay, and agree it doesn't mean a thing - certainly not something negative.

As far as wanting women interested, I would say no comment or attention paid is often sought-after. As I said in some other thread, center-of-attention is not my aim.

Thanks for calling attention to the remark.

Dan

No, I don't mind saying, Cleveland area (Hudson). Great idea. We can do the rest by PM. Dan

Well first to Amanda. Fear Not! Women will always have the power! .....You will always have the power so embrace a gent who enjoys wearing heels! After all it's only a shoe! An article of clothing! No one get's hurt or threatened!

Rick: I fully agree. Once women understand that we're not competing with them, it's not a power struggle. It's simply one form of self-expression, not that different from ear-piercings.....

I highly doubt that heels on men would become "mainstream" across the whole male spectrum.

Dan

If she loves you completly unconditionaly, she will learn to except you, all of you as you are. It just might take a little time to get used to the fact that her husband has a passion for heels. You can't hide it forever.

Johnie: Thank you so much; your comments are absolutely right on. I'm reminded of earlier comments from others to be patient, allow plenty of time, listen, and reward a positive response.

I recall when I first expressed an interest in wearing leather to my spouce, years ago - she was very confused. Then I bought the pants, secretly. She found them (naturally), and was against me wearing them. Rather than over-reacting, I was patient. Time went on, and I found an opportunity to wear the pants outdoors: a business trip. I returned home wearing the pants - no comment. Later, another opportunity came up to wear the pants in-town (grocery shopping). She said nothing, I made no big deal out of it; neither did anyone else, including people I knew. She eventually realized that if I'm OK by it, and everyone else isn't making an issue, then there really is no issue. Now, I wear full leather, and she's fine, she's actually commented that she likes how I look. (Low heels, though.)

Raising the heel height could be interesting.

Thanks for the support.

Dan

Tallguy: If my math is right (I had to break out my abacus for this), you're about 190cm without heels, or 75" = 6'-3" ?? If that's right, I see what you mean.

I haven't heard "honey" used in a while. Perhaps it's "regional"?

I've noticed that, when I've perceived that women think I might be gay, they're more open to discussion. On one occasion, I asked a lady about it (that is, why they're more open to discussion). The answer I got back was: "Because you're safe."

Go figure.

Dan

What sort of comments have you had from women when they've noticed you're wearing heels?.

Positive, negative?.

Amanda: I'm perfectly OK that you've posted your question with us guys. After all, we're all a bunch of "rule breakers" anyway, right? I say you're completely welcome here.

Comments heard from women? Mostly positive, or just a knowing smile. I think the ladies figured out that it takes a LOT of self-confidence for a guy to wear heels publicly, and I think the girls appreciate it.

I've noticed the inquisitiveness from the women, which I enjoy. They obviously understand that this is not your "typical guy", and that really sparks interest. Ironically, I would be just as happy to not be noticed. Center-of-Attention is not my aim here.

I wear boots exclusively, under the pants. Anything else you'd like to know?

Dan

Arctic: You and Allu have certainly given the rest of us a history lesson and insight into an area I knew very little about, and I thank you for it. I think we've digressed pretty far from the main topic of this thread, which was, I believe: Have you ever been assaulted (physical or verbal) in relation to your appearance, and how did you handle it? There have been many views, but not as many comments. Dan

.....we are just another group to be against the wall if the reolution ever comes

Jagman: Wasn't that from "The Hitchhiker's Guide" ??

Dan

Rick: Talk about "gumption" - I'm very impressed that your spouce is aware of your interests, and appears to be somewhat supportive, even though, as you point out, there is some ill feeling on your part, which I can understand. I don't think that I'm heading towards the complete transformation here, at least that's not what I'm thinking, and would agree with Bootking's comments. Perhaps the duality I referred to earlier simply should be taken as my spouce wants me as the "man" she married, which I fully accept. I just haven't figured out this "other side" and how to share it, or whether or not she would understand it let alone accept it. As I said, I'm impressed that yours has. Dan

Fastfreddy: Thank you SO MUCH for your comments and guidance, and to Bootking & Thrill, thank you both for your words & encouragment as well. Obviously, you've all been down this road ahead of me, so the experience shared is gratefully appreciated. I, too, have begun to sence this "duality" emmerging, and I'm not happy about one bit. But, as mentioned, patience and slow steps are needed, and rewards for positive responses. It's strange - I've had some wonderful comments from total strangers. One as recently as last weekend, in Milwaukee Wisconsin of all places, where I was invited to private party off of the street, just for looking good - in full leather (jacket & pants) with HH boots! Why is it so difficult to seek acceptance from the one you love the most? Dan

I agree, and would only add that as long as guys keep going out, it will become more and more accepted as commonplace. The trick, though, is to feel at ease with yourself - then, most other people do likewise.

But, as pointed out by others, there will probably always be the close-minded "cement-headed" ones. It's just something we're going to deal with, and get support from each other on. (I forgot who made that comment, but it is soooo appropriate.)

Latindancer: Good point on the heel height, but I've noticed that there's been acceptance/tolerance on that, too.

Dan