freestyle75

Hi everyone,

 

it happened again... advertising worked on me . I received an email newsletter today starting with a picture of over the knee boots (just look at the boots, not the text) and soon after looking at the picture I developed I-want-to-have-them symptoms.

 

 

Although the shop itself doesn't sell any over the knee (OTK) boot remotely looking like the one in their email teaser, I think I was able to identify what the girl on the picture is wearing: The famous Stuart Weitzman 5050 OTK boots in suede leather. Here's a pic:

 

 

I like suede leather for OTK knee boots much more than regular leather, as the regular leather in OTK boots can look very dubious very fast (remember the movie "Pretty Woman"...). Suede takes away some of that already and looks more subtle in my opinion.

 

Anyway... the problem I have with the Stuart Weitzman boots: The heel is too low. If I had very small feet, they would look okay, but with US size 11 / European 41, with heels that low, the size/length of my feet will look humongous. I already don't like how they look on the pic posted above, and that's probably a model with smaller feet than mine. If the heel is a bit higher - due to the arch - the overall boot looks smaller.

 

I found only one other OTK boot that also uses black suede material and has a higher heel which is not a stiletto - made by Dune:

 

 

This looks very much ok to me already. The heel is a block heel (which I think is better than a stiletto for OTK boots - Pretty Woman again...), the leather is suede and black.

But: I have read mixed review of the quality of Dune. Besides, as the boots don't have zipper, they rely on the elastic at the back of the boot, which (I read in reviews), makes the boot slide down your leg quite often after wearing them for a few times (the elastic seems to wear out fast).

 

So... do you have any recommendations for a black suede overknee boot that comes with a block heel similar to the Dune ones ?

 

Does anyone have the Dune OTK boots? How is their quality and do they run true to size?

 

Thanks in advance for your answers!

 

After the kid with the cell phone and the two girls my energy was a bit lower.  I parked outside of the Barnes and Noble and attempted to bring up my confidence back up.

 

I read your post this morning and can only say that I feel with you. Even though I think I am quite confident already, I still have those moments where I sometimes think "why am I doing this?". Kids with cell phones, people staring at you, rude comments, I've had it all.

 

But then again, I also had positive moments - and if you have those, they outweight the negative ones, as people really mean it. Like the girl that told me that these are really cool boots. Or the hairdresser that I had a conversation with about the wedges I was wearing and that she really adored them. Or my cobbler, with whom I can talk about my shoe collection for hours and hours (ok, I am probably one of his best customers, but nonetheless).

 

For me, the whole freestyle-thing is about my personal freedom. And I won't let anyone with a phone take this away from me.

 

We are living in a time where there are 1.2 smartphones per person. Everyone has one. Most of them come with a camera. Be prepared to be photographed or taped and then youtubed, facebooked, twittered or whatever.

 

At some point, I will probably buy one of those small action cameras and let them peek out of my bag to my BACK, so I can view the reactions of people passing by on video...

@all: sorry for the small excursion into chemistry.

 

@Puffer: The answer is both. True, after PU has been manufactured, the residual hazard in the PU itself is minimal. Problem here is the DMF (dimethyl formamide). In order to produce PU leather, the PU is normally put onto a base layer that can be of textile origin. As PU as such is delivered as a granulate material, it first has to be dissolved in order to coat the base layer by dipping it into the PU immersion bath multiple times. Unfortunately, the solvent used for this process often is DMF, which is toxic. Although the DMF should be washed out during production, PU gloves that showed a high level of DMF have been found (see here). It really depends how ultra-cheap boots are produced - the longer they are washed during production, the less likely DMF will be found as a residue -- but that will cost more (time = money). As they say, your miles may vary. I agree though that leather also comes with hazards, e.g. Chrome VI.

 

Avoiding PU (in order not to further boost production) in everyday life is impossible, but when I do know that a product is made of PU and there are alternatives, I try to choose the alternative. The company that had an accident is situated in a very small town, in sighting distance of my former apartment. Nowadays it wouldn't get a production allowance in a residential area, but it has been in that town since the early 60s, so they had a permit. After trying to clean a toluylendiisocyanate tank with water, the substance inside started to boil, which led to gas leaking out. Several people were injured. The tank became so hot that the fire departments of all local towns nearby installed pipes from the local river (see pic) to the factory building (pic, pic) where the tank was located to cool it down. Parts of the town were evacuated in case the tank would blow up (I stayed at my parents in safe distance). I never thought that foamed seats (for cars) were so risky to produce. That's also why I want to avoid supporting further production of PU, especially from countries where security standards are even lower than in European countries, meaning that more people get hurt.

My latest pair, just received it this week:

 

 

In fact, these are just the completion of a full outfit. I saw an ad for a shiny puffer coat, went to the store, didn't like it, searched online and went for the original in a shorter jacket version. While looking for a nice winter skirt, I saw the skirt in the exact same design and thought that this might make a cool outfit. After I got the skirt, I thought that there might also be boots out there... and I found them in a boutique in London. All items are from Moncler.

 

Here's all together (front and back):

 

 

It's the first time I am awaiting the cold weather... it's still too warm to wear this stuff

There is my new boots, size 42 in black, I'm still waiting for then. Just ordered 2 days ago. Can wait !!! 

 

http://www.dresswe.com/item/10987251.html

 

I like the look, but not the material of the boots. Due to a chemical accident near where I lived a year ago, I learned how PU is produced. One of the precursors to PU are isocyanates. The Bhopal disaster with 3,800 people dead was caused by methyl isocyanate, a precursor also used in the PU production.

Truth is, leather also doesn't come without hazards (especially if you are buying cheaper shoe brands - but even Michael Kors and Marc by Marc Jacobs is nowadays produced in China), but personally I wouldn't buy shoes made of PU.

@JeffB: Some people will also get confused so much that they forget the simplest things.

 

After a stressful week, I wanted to have some fun this weekend, so I put on my Givenchy kilt (black), a grey T-shirt, a pair of cotton tights and some heeled leather boots (these ones - btw, not super comfortable to wear, as the heel is made of rubber that tends to bend a little when you put your heel on the ground. I might have to take them to the cobbler to get that heel fixed).

 

Anyway... I was refueling my car at a gas station, when an elderly couple in an Aston Martin drives up to the gas pump next to mine. The guy couldn't take his eyes of me. I smiled back to him and greeted him , saying "hi".

 

When I got to the cash register (I had finished earlier), he walks in (face all red) and says "I did use the wrong type of gasoline, but I stopped right after starting. Can I continue with the other gasoline type?"  (Explanation: No, he didn't use Diesel instead of regular petrol, but he used the European "E10" fuel that contains a higher percentage of ethanol. There was a debate whether this more eco-friendly fuel would damage the engines of older cars)

 

I am not sure whether he would have made the same mistake hadn't he been staring elsewhere all the time .

 

The rest of the day was pretty "unspectacular". When you walk by, most people don't look below your waist, so most even don't notice, especially in the main shopping streets.

Thanks for sharing, I've not come across that trick before either. What kind of socks are you wearing with these boots? Presumably you've managed to get out of yours after putting them on with the plastic bag trick.... or have you?

 

When I couldn't get them on with regular (even thin) socks, I tried sheer hosiery. That kind of worked better, but compared to the bag trick, it was still a hassle to get them on (and off). With the bag trick, I can get them on with thicker socks, break them in, switch to thinner socks and be happy for good and all :-)

Since I discovered them on style.com, I had been hunting for Belstaff's Halewood boots (see here) since July this year. As I need them in size 41 (US 11), I pre-ordered them in the only Belstaff boutique in Germany (they only have one store in this country), and was reassured that "they will arrive in September in your size". September came... and they did not arrive. "Just wait, they will arrive in a few weeks, early October".

Meanwhile, I had visited the London Belstaff store during a business trip, but even they didn't have the boots in stock yet. I waited till October 10th, and then called the boutique in Munich again. "We are very sorry, but our store assistant might have been mistaken. We won't get this model into our store. Not at all!"

 

I was mad - months of waiting for some assitant screwing up. Now I started my global search. Saks in New York had them online till size 40. I chatted with someone from saks online - "yes, the store in New York lists them in size 41 - 1 pair". I called the store, but there was no pair in size 41. Only 40. I researched a few other online stores, but the largest size I could find was 40.

 

When I was in London, I had seen the ankle-boot version with a different kind of leather, but the same style - available on the Belstaff website in my size. So I ordered these instead, basically as a "second best" option, that I nonetheless do like very much. This weekend, I have worn them for the first time when I was doing grocery shopping. Although the are really high, the platform keeps the height to a still comfortable level.

 

Here's the pic from the online store:

And here are a couple of pics I just shot:

 

That was the first pair I bought in the last two weeks. The second one is by Marc Jacobs. Not sure whether it fits the "boots" section, although it is being sold as a "platform pump bootie".

While on the trip in London, I also visited the "Marc by Marc Jacobs" store and found a pair of ankle boots that I liked. Again, not available in my size.

After my trip, I started searching online stores for that pair (which I also found, plain black leather), but I also discovered the pump booties that even the store in London didn't have (patent & plain black leather combi). I was torn: Should I go for the regular boot or for the pump?

As I already own some boots with a chunky heel / sole from Jeffrey Campbell, I went for the pumps. I am not sure about the patent leather (it draws very much attention to your feet), but then again, I like them because they look different. So I decided to keep them.

Online store pic:

 

My pics:

 

 

Hi everyone,

 

while browsing the Nordstrom website and looking at a pair of pull on boots (no zipper, knee-high), I found an unusual trick to put on tight fitting boots:

 

I still have a pair of Yves Saint Laurent knee high wedge boots (pull on style) here that I have not worn so far - they felt half a size to small as they were nearly impossible to pull on, and even harder to remove. I already thought about selling them on ebay... till... I tried the bag trick !

 

It really worked - they are really easy to pull on now. Although I must admit that they fit so snug that I often only get 90% of the bag torn away (a small piece stays inside till I remove the boots again).

 

I thought I share this here, as this trick was completely new for me.

 

For some reason I just can't work up the nerve.

 

Any idea on what the reason could be?

Personally, I am still quite reserved about going out in the strappy sandals that I own, although I really like them. Boots on the other hand - no problem.

Maybe that also applies to you. Have you tried different heels?

 

Do you guys think or believe that wearing heels or doing anything for that matter or the opposite sex have taken away your masculinity in any way?

 

Let me ask you a question: Do you think that a women wearing trousers has taken away her femininity in any way?

If the answer is yes, then the answer to the question you asked should also be yes. Otherwise: No.

 

Guys wearing pink shirts were unthinkable 20 years ago (or being seen as gay). Nowadays, that color is just as available as blue, white or black. 20 years back, a guy wearing a pink shirt would have been seen as beeing "feminine", nowadays, he is just a guy wearing a pink shirt.

 

Although I don't think that I will still experience it in my lifetime, I just think that guys wearing heels are a bit ahead of their time.

 

Do you look "more feminine" to the average John Doe on the street? Yes. Undoubtedly so.

But does it really matter?

 

Do you hurt anyone? No (as long as nobody makes fun of your kid because of your heels, then you have to consider that you hurt your kid's feelings).

 

If you would die tomorrow and would have never had worn heels (and done the other stuff that's on your list) - would you regret it?

 

Personally, I am not doing anything wrong when wearing heels. Or a kilt. Or something that might be considered "off" compared to regular menswear.

But I am not hurting anyone and it's also legal. It's not like the guy (or gal) that removed the four hub cabs from my BMW's winter tires while it was standing in front of my apartment this weekend. They are gone...

 

In a nutshell: Masculinity is what you make out of it. You don't have to be a Schwarzenegger to still feel masculine while wearing heels.

I've been in your place (sort of, already lived at my own place at that time). I was crossdressing, even contemplated changing genders and talked to a therapist, who talked me into opening up to my parents. A whole sh*tstorm happened after talking to my parents (they even started calling my friends to talk me out of it) - although in the end it kept me from going further, it also showed me that if I "only" had crossdressed, not mentioning the topic to them probably would have been the best way to deal with it.

 

It really depends on your parents, but don't expect them to understand that you "just" want to be "gender fluid". Even the term "gender fluid" is something that parents probably are not aware of and fear. A lot. The first thing that your mom will probably think is "what did I do wrong in raising my son?". Once you have opened up this topic, it will always be there. My father got so agitated over the whole situation that he developed a stomach ulcer and had to go to hospital (he nearly died).

 

I last crossdressed (full drag) about 10 years ago - and my mom still brings up the topic every now and then. "There is a documentary on TV on crossdressers and how they are all wasting their lives. You should watch it!".

 

If a pair of heels are the only thing you keep as a secret, and if you don't want to change your gender or dress up as a girl, just leave the shoes in a hidden place and keep it to yourself as long as you still live at home. When you grow up further and decide that this is not just a phase, but if you like to continue wearing heels, you may still "come out" to your parents at a later time. If you change your mind later and throw out these heels, not disclosing is the better option.

 

I know that I am the only one with that advice, but I also think that nobody answered you so far that still lives at home and is in a similar situation.

Backup shoes

 

Thanks for making me laugh!

@mtnsofheels:

The boots are from the fall/winter 2013 collection of the designer brand "Ermanno Scervino" (see here).

 

 

I stumbled upon these boots while browsing the magazine L'Officiel Accessoires (see here) which is published each season and shows the bags, shoes and accessoires from the top designer brands. I hadn't known Ermanno Scervino up to that point and contacted a number of boutiques in Europe before I found one in London (Sloane Street, Knightsbridge) that actually had this pair in my size (41 / UK8 / US10 or 11). It was quite funny, as the sales girl sent me pictures of the boots they had available via What's App - sadly, she no longer works at that store, but it was really quite cool shopping with her.

 

Despite their height, they are really comfortable to wear. After wearing them a couple of times, I also wanted to get the same pair in suede, but although the suede pair was shown on the Ermanno Scervino website, it was never produced - no boutique in Europe had received a single pair, and they also couldn't be ordered (that salesgirl really tried, but didn't have any luck).

 

This year, I am hunting for some other boots that have a similar shape, but are knee-high... once I've got them, I will post them here. I am not going to tell what brand they are (yet), as I am not sure how many will be available in the largest (41) size on this planet... I've already preordered them at a store in Munich, and I am awaiting their call (that the boots have arrived) on a daily basis...

The yellow ones are Miu Miu peep toe Mary Jane platform pumps (2013), link here.

 

Found by downloading your pic, then open google, click on "picture search", either upload the picture you already got or paste a link to the picture.

In one of the links, you could spot that it was Miu Miu.

 

Don't have a clue about the first one though.

I would think they are either custom made or bought via one of the Chinese shops.

 

Especially the second one with the saw edge sole is so unusual that you normally could pinpoint the designer quite easily. Based on the saw edge profile, I would have said that they are either Camilla Skovgaard or Jeffrey Campbell (who copied Camilla).

Here's a typical example of Camilla Skovgaard's work:

 

 

The reason why I don't think that these are Camilla Skovgaard boots: First, most of the designs use the heel-less or a wedge-type design, so no stiletto. Second, I haven't seen any over the knee boots from her so far.

 

Same applies to Jeffrey Campbell: He basically copies the Skovgaard designs.

 

Then last season there was only one designer who also used the saw edge sole, but in a different shape: Jil Sander - see picture here.

 

Therefore I would bet that these aren't designer boots.

Thanks for all of your replies.

 

I opted for a black shirt with short sleeves (as it was quite hot today), the gray jeans + the boots as shown.

 

How did it turn out?

Well, I was a bit underdressed. Most men were wearing at least blazers + chinos or even suits. The women were all dressed up to the fullest, often with dresses or skirts and lots of jewelery. Age range between around 12 (one family with their daugther) to 65. You could see in the parking garage what type of customers were visiting. In front of my parking spot was a Porsche Cayenne, left to me a Porsche 911, and right of me a Ferrari (don't know Ferrari enough to tell you what model). My company car (Mercedes) looked somewhat out of place.

 

It was a party "to see and be seen", and as someone from out of town (+ heels) it was nearly impossible to make contact to someone, as most people knew each other and were standing in circles, chatting to each other.

 

Nonetheless, it was fun. Everything was very well organized, they had sparkling wine served everywhere (for me Coke please ), and also a "flying buffet" (little finger-food you could eat). The fashion show as such was very brief (maybe 10 minutes or so), and after that they opened up the dancefloor.

 

I got quite a few looks, not because of the jeans, but because of the heels. With iPhones everywhere, I am probably also the single one most shared photo of the evening.

Some looked at me like a freak (especially some of the older guests at age 50+), some seemed to admire the boots, some seemed confused by a guy wearing heels.

Nobody started a conversation with me. When I left the party about an hour ago, the woman that was in the elevator with me complained "ewww, my feet hurt" (she was wearing something like 3 inch sandals without platform). "Do yours hurt too?" she asked me.

 

"I am wearing platforms", I replied, "I could go on for a few hours", I added, smiling (which is really true, as they are really comfy). She then said that she should have chosen her platforms as well and wished me a good evening. Sometimes you wonder why they just don't start such casual conversations ON the party, and not on the way OUT.

 

All in all, I would probably dress up a bit more next time, but despite the looks, I would always go there in heels

Hi,

 

I haven't posted for a while as my previous company restructured, I got a golden handshake, applied for a different job, got it, searched for a new apartment and moved to a totally different city. Took a while to get settled...

 

Now I am living very close to one of "THE" fashion hotspots in Germany, where they do have fashion shows going on at regular intervals. This weekend, a couple of designers are presenting their fashion (you need an invitation by each designer to attend) - think of it as a small fashion week - and it all ends in a big party that is happening at a big luxury retail store (similar to Selfridges or Saks).

 

I've bought stuff at that retail store in their men's luxury department and do have their customer card - still it was a surprise that I got invited to their "gallery party" where a German luxury label is going to present their anniversary collection and a German musician who is well known here will take care of the music.

 

For me, it's the first "fashion" event I've ever been invited to, and I start wondering what to wear.

I planned to wear the following:

 

A slim black shirt:

 

 

grey jeans with a slight used look (they look a bit bootcut on the pic, but are in fact straight leg):

 

... and these boots:

 

 

This is an outfit I personally feel very comfortable with, and I can walk miles in these boots (they are my favorite).

 

Now I am starting to wonder whether this might be too casual and whether they do expect a more "refined" dresscode (e.g. blazer / suit).

 

An alternative would be these trousers that have a pallazo type of look and could be combined with a white shirt:

 

 

These trousers cover more of the heels and could also take the whole outfit over the edge of being too feminine. Don't know.

 

Any advice on what to wear to such an event? -- I just don't want to wear a normal suit (I've dozens regular clothes which could work), as I hope that IF I can ever find a girl who is comfortable with a guy wearing heels, it's probably someone who enjoys fashion as well (and chances are higher on a fashion party)... that's why I definitely want to make a statement there.

Funny thing "... personality is more important...".

 

Unless you haven't met someone before, chances are very high that you base your decision whether or not to engage in contact on the first impression.

A first impression may include things like how tall she is, whether she looks beautiful as such, whether she is a regular fast food junkie or tries to keep a healthy figure... and also of course her choice of clothing.

 

Shoes, dress, shirt, etc. all combined will result in whether you like what you see or you don't.

Similar to a car that needs some polishing, I've seen cases where you really first want to give her a makeover to make her presentable. Just like a raw diamond, where you know she *could* look beautiful, but she just lacks the basic understanding of fashion. Question is whether you want to be the one that teaches her style, only to lose her to the guy that she likes more than you, but just couldn't get in her old outfit.

 

Would I date a women without a basic fashion sense? Probably not. My hope still is that someone who is interested in fashion may be a bit more open towards someone like me who is wearing heels...

I can only chime in to what Dr. Shoe said - they are there to do a job, which is to sell stuff. If they don't sell stuff, the store will close, and they will lose their job. So no matter what you buy, and for whom you are buying it, you are supporting them. Always keep that in mind.

 

Nonetheless, I can completely understand where you are coming from, and it is far more difficult if you are not already wearing heels when entering the store. Same applies for any type of clothing that is intended for the other gender. I had seen a woman wearing a coat from Moncler last Friday which I *absolutely* needed to have. Love on first sight.

When I came back home, I searched the usual high-end online shops for it, but it was sold out everywhere. So I called the nearest boutique Friday evening, asking them whether they still had it in stock in a large size. I didn't expect a positive answer, but they said "sure, it's not that unusual, we also carry the larger sizes. Is it for your wife?" -- I should probably have answered "no, it's for me" at that time, but I was still uneasy going to one of these high-end luxury boutiques where at least one sales clerk will be watching your every step and trying on a women's coat for myself.

 

So I answered that it would be for my girlfriend, and whether they could put it on hold for me till Saturday.

I drove there on Saturday, asked for the coat (which many online reviewers described as fitting "tight"), looked at it and wasn't sure whether it would fit. So I said that I just give it a try - "if it fits me, it should also fit my girlfriend". One customer who was watching said that this was the way he had bought a coat for his wife, so nobody really cared. What bothered me though was that the sales crew wasn't very friendly, probably because they were expecting that I would return the coat after a few days because it wouldn't fit (but it fit perfectly!). So I paid a bunch of money, left the store with mixed feelings (positive because I had the coat, negative because the sales staff wasn't very friendly), and went straight to my tailor to get it altered (will be ready this Friday).

 

Not sure whether I would tell the staff on the phone in a different case that the item is for myself, but then again, I might also dress different next time I visit such a store. I think if I had worn one of my other women's down jackets, or the one-of-a-kind mink coat that I have, they wouldn't have bothered, but just registered me as "one of those fashion crazy guys".

As I am currently moving, I only had a pair of regular jeans, sweater and regular men's winter jacket available, so it was similar to you entering the store in complete male clothing, trying on a female item.

Things change depending on what situation are in. I voted #4, as I am already very confident. Now that I am moving to a new city, with a new employer, probation period and many employees who might be living just around the corner, I am still confident, but I am also going to be cautious - I don't want to lose my new job just because of my choice of footwear.

As always, I draw the line where my job starts, so nothing high-heel related *ever* at the company. But for leisure-time, especially during this time of the year, I really prefer my boots... uh oh... I think I am moving off-topic

Not sure whether you cannot have "too many". After a reorganization at my company, I accepted a golden (or rather silver) handshake and am now in the process of moving to a different city with a new apartment for a new job. One of my dreams has come true: I do have a walk-in closet, a big one. I thought that now I could put all my shoes on display - that's BEFORE I brought my stuff to the new apartment.
I am now at close to a hundred pairs of shoes, perhaps 10 of them "business" shoes, maybe another 15 or so sneakers and the like, and the rest are either heels or knee-high boots. Too many. Definitely too many.
 
While browsing my shoe collection, I noticed that you could group the heels/boots into the following categories:
 

• [*]

The "almost" type: heels/boots that I bought as they were very close to what I was actually looking for, but which I haven't worn very often, as I may have found a "better" pair afterwards. [*]The "too small" type: One pair of boots by YSL was one that I really, really liked. I had ordered them from the US, hoping that they would fit. Unfortunately, they are too small. I *could* walk in them for a very limited time, but then again, I have more comfortable wedges here - never worn them yet. I would normally sell them, but I paid a fortune. Another pair of a different brand is also too small. [*]The "what-was-I-thinking" type: I saw those pics of ultra-cool rocker/gothic looking guys dressed in Rick Owens outfits. When visiting their boutique in London, I saw a pair of knee-high wedge boots which I thought were pretty cool at that time. And they were on sale. Never worn them - I might even say that they are ugly, as they make your feet look pretty big. Maybe in combination with the right outfit, sometime... naaaa.... Same applies for some sandals - I thought I would wear them during summer, but for some reason, I found them to be too feminine. [*]The "collection" type: Heels that I just needed to have, similar to a collector who wants that one item that is very rare. Like the Anabela platform boots by Alexander Wang, which have been described by many female bloggers as "very hard to walk in". Indeed. But they look great. Maybe as a bookend in my bookshelf, but not for walking any distance. [*]The "not everyday wear" type:  These are mostly boots with a very high heel (some of them stiletto), which I would never consider wearing for running errands or the like. They are more suitable for going out in the evening, which is totally ok. [*]The "favorite" type: These are heels that I like very much and wear often. Some of them might fit tight, but still belong to my favorites.

 

All in all, I don't have regrets for about 75 % of my shoes (type 4 - 6). For the other ones, I may consider selling them off on ebay when I think about it. I do already work with an inventory list, but trust me, you will always go back to those pairs which are in plain sight and easily accessible.

 

I am not sure whether I continue looking for boots if I already do have the "same" pair at home. I normally only buy the "same" pair if the fit is much better. The fact that I continue to buy shoes is more to have something new, although it has gotten more difficult to buy something new that doesn't look similar to what I already have.

 

I don't worry that much about damaging my shoes. With so many pairs "in stock", I seldomly wear a pair too often, so the deterioration-problem is more of an issue for me.

 

One of my resolutions for 2014 is to buy less clothing & shoes and save money to be able to buy my own house. We'll see how well this works out

I went to the doctor and have started hormones, and am living full time as a woman.

 

[...] I am already approaching a B cup [...]

 

Even if I risk getting banned from this forum....sorry if I sound too harsh, but that just sounds to me like a made up story.

 

Just a week ago, you hadn't seen a doctor before, and you didn't take hormones. Now you have seen a doctor, started hormones and are already a B-cup?

 

Following the Harry Benjamin Standards of Care, your doctor should first have discussed with you your situation IN DEPTH before providing any sort of treatment on a hormone basis. Especially given that you lost your job and wife, which causes emotional distress, which might lead to wrong decisions. The evaluation of the readiness for treatment normally takes several months. This is the worldwide standard for treatment of TS.

 

Breast developments with hormones also doesn't work like an "on" switch, where you throw in a few pills and a week later you got a B cup. Not at all. First, the male hormones need to be surpressed, and the female hormones need to build up to reach a certain blood serum concentration. A proper physician would first evaluate your current hormone levels before starting a treatment... which also takes a moment. Either you have taken hormones before already, or this is totally bogus.

 

To my fellow readers of this forum: I've been in treatment with hormones years ago, I stopped them, and believe me, I could write a book on this. Maybe Kitty has lost his job, but the overall story doesn't add up, simply because it's not possible. If I wrote that I am currently hovering in the air with my new anti-gravity heels, you would spot that this isn't possible (or would ask where I bought them ). Hormones don't act that fast - from zero to a simple A cup normally takes several months (unless you are under age 20, where the effects show up quicker), just to give you an idea.

 

The Switzerland guy is just the icing on the cake...

I am going to be blunt: Think again.

Here's a quotation of someone who transitioned for the wrong reasons and regretted it:

 

"Don't do it! That's my advice. This is the most awful, most expensive, most painful, most disruptive thing you could ever do. Don't do it unless there is no other alternative. You may think your life is tough but unless it's a choice between suicide and a sex-change it will only get worse. And the costs keep coming. You lose control over most aspects of your life, become a second class citizen and all so you can wear women's clothes and feel cuter than you do now. Don't do it is all I've got to say."

Quote from this page

 

You have lost your job because you looked at this site and became too bold. As they say: Your miles may vary.

Don't go to yet another forum site, read through all of the wonderful transitioner's stories and how well everything went, transition and finally discover that it wasn't what you really wanted. You will permanently mutilate your body.

 

You got off easy. You lost your job, but you did nothing permanent to your body. Put the skirt and boots into your closet, pull on a pair of pants, regular men's shoes, no fingernail polish or makeup, and apply for a new job. You will succeed, no question.

Separate job and spare time. Job=men's clothes with no exception, Spare time = whatever you like.

Once you have earned enough money to be able to not-care-anymore, wear whatever you like whereever you like.

 

That's the way it has worked for me so far.

I am not a millionaire, so I keep separating job and spare time.

[...] He always looks smart in his chinos, brogues, polo neck sweater and courderoy jacket.

 

... none of which are revolutionary in design. Sorry for starting off my post this way. I do have a book on "dressing like a Gentleman", which basically describes all of the pieces you just mentioned. They have been around for 50 - 100 years, and they are the "classic" items of menswear.

LIke they say: To break the rules, you first need to understand them. I do own the formal tuxedo, several suits, the classic twill trench coat in black and beige, the business-oriented black and brown oxford shoes, chinos... you name it.

I know how to obey the rules and dress "smart", to dress "important" (i.e. "I am the boss here"), or dress casual. Although fashion for men has improved over the years (more variety, narrower, more form fitting cuts), it still is miles away from the variety you see in womenswear.

 

On Friday I bought 3 new suits as I will be starting a new job in January. I mailed photos of the suits to my parents, to which they replied "don't you already own similar suits?". Well... given the extraordinary variety of colors and cuts (black, gray, brown, blue, and versions with stripes of these colors) in the mens department, you always end up with "similar" suits...

 

For me, menswear is very boring. I still appreciate exquisite tailoring in a fine mens suit, but nonetheless I also like to wear skinny jeans with knee-high boots, palazzo pants with heels, skirts, longer than usual sweaters in all colors and unusual cuts, or blazers/jackets/coats that are shape-fitting and that you would never find in the men's section.

This will definitely no longer look "smart" in the traditional sense of my gentleman's book, but it is like a fresh breeze of air to me, like being able to step out of the narrow confinements that are set by society.

 

If women nowadays dress "smart", they often wear pants, especially in business settings. Good for every woman on this planet that some women did feel the urge to break free from skirts and dresses and put on pants despite society ridiculing them...

Hi,

 

I was searching for a picture of the building that I am working in a few days ago on the internet. I just entered the name of the company and did a picture search on google, clicking on a few pics I considered nice. When I hit a page that was called similar to "streetpictures", I found a row of pictures of the building, and just below pictures of women sitting at the parking benches at the entrance of the building, taking a break -- being photographed by some guy WITHOUT their consent. Two of my female colleagues were also on the pictures.

 

I mailed the link to one of these colleagues, an email saying something like "whoa - did you know you are on the net?".

She researched the pics, found the guy's flickr and Facebook page and mailed me back that he has a shoe fetish and shoots pictures of women from his car, during conferences, seminars, ... well, basically whereever he can catch a "good" picture.

 

I discussed this with my colleague at work, and she was (understandably) quite uneasy about someone taking pics in front of our building. First he takes pictures, then he rapes her - it could be a small step, depending on how the personality of the guy is.

She told me that this was a freak because he loved women's shoes. I told her that I don't care what someone does in his personal life as long as he doesn't hurt others, but that I do wholeheartedly agree that taking pics IS hurting someone by not abiding to the personal rights of the person on the pic. I also would freak out if someone took pictures of me without my consent.

 

Still... I started to feel uneasy as she clearly said that this guy is a perv because of his love for women's shoes.

/irony on/ ... well... I *could* have replied to her that she shouldn't worry, as I possess over 50 pairs of women's shoes with an additional 2 pairs that I just ordered, that I wear them regularly and that I do NOT take pics of her or anybody else. And that I am definitely not feeling that I am a perv. /irony off/

 

Well - honestly, if she knew I am wearing women's shoes, she would probably think that I am just like this guy. And that's something I definitely don't want to be. If she thinks that, others might as well.

 

So... where do you draw the line? And how do you deal with people who you are friends with and suddenly (when they meet you first time with women's shoes) change their attitude towards you? (please don't tell me that they aren't real friends if they are hostile towards you, I think it's just that many suddenly open the "perv" drawer and put you in it...)

 

Sorry for opening up such a serious topic, but it kept bugging me the last couple of days.