MikePL812 Posted May 19, 2006 Posted May 19, 2006 Hi all, i am new here but I am a 38 yr old male with a life time shoe fetish. It started in with me liking to wear Dr. Scholls exercise sandals, but quickly grew to the enjoyment on wearing everything between womens wedges and high heel platforms. I have hidden most all of this from my wife for way too long and I want to tell her. I just fear she will freak out. When we first got together, she was ok with my exercise sandals, but now, years later if I wear them, she asks me why I want to wear womens shoes. I just say I dont and that they are unisex. Should I tell her I want to wear heels around the house for fun & also that I would like to wear them during sex? They have such an erotic charge for me. If you think i should tell, how should I break it to her ? Please share any insights or experiences that may help. Mike
Stormie Posted May 19, 2006 Posted May 19, 2006 Slowly. And be prepared that she is probably not going to be fully accepting straight off the bat. She already has doubts about your sandals, so maybe that would be a good place to start - explain that you know that they are women's shoes and why you like to wear them. If she can handle that (well, she's already seen you in those so that seems fairly easy) then maybe go on to say that you like and own other shoes as well. But I think going in little baby steps, and only as much as she's willing to accept at each stage is the way forward. Be open and honest and make it known that you're willing to answer any questions she has about your fetish, as being cagey and secretive about it won't help her to understand, and with understanding can come acceptance. Since you've already kept it a secret so long she might have trust issues, so maybe you need to explain your fears about her 'freaking out' and the reasons why you've felt you've had to hide it from her. I know I probably sound quite hypocritical given my current stand on partners-in-heels, but this is roughly how I was let into it and I think it is probably the easiest way for all involved. Oh, you may or may not want to introduce her to this site - it might answer a few of her questions or raise further ones. I don't know you or your wife so I can't even begin to predict what way this is all going to go, but if she feels she needs to talk to someone else who is struggling with this acceptance lark then she can drop me a line (from my own personal point of view, this has been one of the things I've felt I've lacked). If you are too open-minded your brains will fall out.
Misazeno Posted May 20, 2006 Posted May 20, 2006 Start doing stuff involving high heels. Leave magazines open about heels or do something that suggest you like it. Prehaps you could try role playing. Buy some kink high heels and ask her to wear them during sex. She will find out eventually that you like her in heels. After she knows your fetish, try suggesting having sex while you wear the heels. Then act like you really like them, and find them comfortable. Start wearing them around the house, after having sex with her in them. She'll get the picture. I think this is a good way to let her get used to the idea of you in heels, as opposed to just blurting it out. "A massive helping of poison is fatal but slow doses can make you immune." - Masato "Misazeno" Saruwatari
Stormie Posted May 20, 2006 Posted May 20, 2006 "A massive helping of poison is fatal but slow doses can make you immune." Neatly put. I don't think sex is the way forward though, more of an end point. If you're pressurising her at a time when she's at her most vulnerable, it could trigger defence mode quicker. And if you do ask her to wear heels during sex for you, for god's sake make it clear that it is her you love and find sexy and the heels are just a lucky bonus. "If you put a frog in boiling water, it will jump out. But if you put a frog in cool water and then gradually turn up the heat, it will quietly sit and boil to death." - "Stormie" If you are too open-minded your brains will fall out.
shyguy Posted May 20, 2006 Posted May 20, 2006 some great quotes, and Stormie is excellently poised to give the kind of advice asked for as she is going through it from the point of view of the partner finding out. You do have a foot in the door so to speak by wearing your exercise sandals, so you could tell her why you wear those, and work towards telling her you'd like to try other shoes. In my case I took an interest in my wifes shoes when she was buying, and would say how comfortable they looked, or how nice. Eventually we spoke about it, and I told her I'd like to try them on for myself when she got a pair of sandals. After a bit of thought she let me, and I told her they felt good to wear. I done the same with other shoes as we are similar in size, and eventually told her of my liking for heels after I wore a pair of block heeled boots we'd chosen for her together. From there I moved on to tell her I wanted my own heeled shoes. This wasn't an over night fix, it took a couple of years. Jumping in with both feet will scare your wife, but build up from the start you have with your scholls and take it slowly. Give her time to adjust to each revelation before throwing the next at her. As the saying goes "slowly slowly catchee monkey". He was so narrow minded he could see through a keyhole with both eyes. Brown's Law: If the shoe fits, it's ugly
Misazeno Posted May 20, 2006 Posted May 20, 2006 Neatly put. I don't think sex is the way forward though, more of an end point. If you're pressurising her at a time when she's at her most vulnerable, it could trigger defence mode quicker. And if you do ask her to wear heels during sex for you, for god's sake make it clear that it is her you love and find sexy and the heels are just a lucky bonus. "If you put a frog in boiling water, it will jump out. But if you put a frog in cool water and then gradually turn up the heat, it will quietly sit and boil to death." - "Stormie" Show Off, My quote wasn't originally used for this type of situation. It was used for ninjutsu. I understand what your saying but I think my idea is a good approach because it makes her believe that you are just finding out about it also. This makes her feel like she isn't alone in this situation she's not used to.
Stormie Posted May 20, 2006 Posted May 20, 2006 I understand what your saying but I think my idea is a good approach because it makes her believe that you are just finding out about it also. This makes her feel like she isn't alone in this situation she's not used to. But that's just adding on more lies, she knows he has been wearing heels (or ladies shoes at least) because of the exercise sandals, so he isn't really just starting out on this one. It's not worth the pretence in the long run - it might cushion the blow a little now but will make her, and possibly you, feel worse because you are deceiving her. I think the idea about leaving magazines around or saying her shoes look comfortable may be a good conversation-starter though. If you are too open-minded your brains will fall out.
Misazeno Posted May 23, 2006 Posted May 23, 2006 Hmmm, I can agree with that. My training in Ninjutsu has... twisted me to CIA ways of talking.
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