heelsRfeminine Posted September 16, 2004 Share Posted September 16, 2004 My wife has been trying to wear heels for a while. She is usually getting discouraged (painful) and stops, and then tries again weeks later. Not sure if she's trying to wear them for me, because I find them very attractive on women, or doing this for herself. I haven't pushed her into it, or anything, she did ask me, and I said I like it when she wears them. (Did I do anything wrong by saying that?) I gave her the links to Jenny's site and lucy's thread. I actually read both of them with her. But they seem to be lacking, what to expect when getting accustomed to heels. Should it be painful? if so where? That's sort of touched on by Lucy, in her "toe burn" section. How many minutes a day should she start off at? Everyday, or every other day practice? Could there be anything I could do to encourage her, or talk her out of it, if need be. Is there any other info out there in the way of guides. I would love it if she succeded in this, but I don't want her to kill herself getting there. Any links or ideas would be helpful. Please let me know if you need any other info. I'll try to get her to read this thread, but I'm sort of embarrassed . Thanks PS: Neither of us are young, both in our late 30's. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Laurieheels Posted September 17, 2004 Share Posted September 17, 2004 I've been meaning to finish a new guide for learning to wear heels.. Okay, a few qualifying questions. What height is she used to normally, and what height is she trying to wear? I found that mastering a certain height and then moving up helped my feet to adapt. I do get asked about how I can wear heels so high, and my answer is always "practice". It is just like any other physical training. One has to start at a certain point, master it, and then advance. As for pain, well, one can pad shoes so that the balls of the feet to not hurt. To help toes, have a slightly larger size than normal to allow the toes a bit more room. So if she is used to something like 2 inch heels, she shuold start with a three inch pair, starting at around half an hour a day, to an hour at most iof she isn't doing much walking. And then progress over the weeks to spending an hour or two mostly on her feet. Once three inch heels feel good, move to four following the same pattern. Half an hour to an hour, moderate walking, then moving to a few hours. Once four inch heels can be done for many hours without problem, then one can go 4.5 and five inch, and the same pattern follows. It's like building muscles through weight training. You can't just push your body to extreme weights or you get hurt. Feel free to carry on the conversation here, or ask questions through e-mail if you like. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hoverfly Posted September 17, 2004 Share Posted September 17, 2004 Over the years, I have concluded that wearing high heels is a life stile, actually, a dedicated life stile. If you want to wear higher heels lets say above 4" with endurance, you pretty much have to wear heels almost every day. but not necessarily in the same heel height all day long every day, but just wear something to keep/get your feet in shape even it's only at home doing something like house cleaning. It's all about practicing and time. Hello,  my name is Hoverfly. I’m a high heel addict…. Weeeeeeeeeee!  👠1998 to 2022! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
heelsRfeminine Posted September 17, 2004 Author Share Posted September 17, 2004 To answer Laurie's question: She hardly ever wear's any sort of heels (up till recently, with her attempts). I haven't measured exactly the height she's trying to wear now, but an educated guess looks like 4 inches. What do you think she should start at 3 inches or less? If so, do you think I should buy her a pair of that height? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hoverfly Posted September 17, 2004 Share Posted September 17, 2004 To answer Laurie's question: She hardly ever wear's any sort of heels (up till recently, with her attempts). I haven't measured exactly the height she's trying to wear now, but an educated guess looks like 4 inches. What do you think she should start at 3 inches or less? If so, do you think I should buy her a pair of that height? 3" is a good place to start maybe even 3.5" but nothing less than 3". Hello,  my name is Hoverfly. I’m a high heel addict…. Weeeeeeeeeee!  👠1998 to 2022! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
highheellover Posted September 18, 2004 Share Posted September 18, 2004 yep 3" is a good start point. Girls and heels rock. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Steve B Posted September 18, 2004 Share Posted September 18, 2004 I agree with Laurie: it takes practice. Personally, I started at 4 inches and it was easier than I thought. 5-inch heels took some getting used to, not so much in terms of balance as height and foot angle. Now that I have comfortable 5-inch pumps (Jante, the same brand Laurie wears), walking in them gets easier every day. When I go down to my 4-inch pumps now, they almost feel like flats! The longest period of time I've gone so far in heels has been four hours. My goal is to see if I can get through a full day in them. Black 5-inch stilettos - the only way to go! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Laurieheels Posted September 18, 2004 Share Posted September 18, 2004 Three inch as the starting point is a perfect place. I had worn three inch heels since being a teen, and then I decided to start with the higher heels a few years ago. And as I slowly worked my way up, I became great with heels. Imagine it like a marathon (this is my copyright example for the little article I've been working on for Jenny's site) If you aren't used to running, and you try to run a marathon, you will be very sore, in a lot of pain, and probably will collapse before the end. Or imagine lifting weights. If you start off trying to lifting something that is several hundred pounds, you'll tear a muscle and take a long time to recover. It is the training. It is mastering a lap around the track, and then 2, and then 3. It is lifting 20 pounds, then 30, then 40. And so it is for heels, having the foot accept a three inch heel, wearing it for an hour, then two, then all day, and then, pushing that limit and forcing the body to accept a higher heel for an hour, then two, then four hours, then all day. And then, four and a half. Then five. And a half. And six. And a half. And then, you'll be trying to stand in seven inchers, stretching the legs, working the muscles and tendons, and giving the body time to adapt and set a new level. And taking that time means stress, pain, and injury are not things to be associated with wearing heels. In some ways it is a lifestyle choice. Athletes do get days off, of course, and I have days where I wear runners. But once the limit is set high, one has to return to it often to maintain it, or the body will drop that limit. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
highheellover Posted September 18, 2004 Share Posted September 18, 2004 thanks laurieheels. Girls and heels rock. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lucy Posted September 18, 2004 Share Posted September 18, 2004 Hi heelsRfeminine! Thank you for mentioning me and my thread regarding getting used to high heels, but I am sorry that you found it to be insufficiently thorough for you. I'll try to fill in here with further information: If your wife is experiencing "toe-burn", then when progressing, your wife has to be aware of these points: 1. We all have a subcutaneous pad of tissue on the soles of our feet between our skin and the underlying foot. This diminishes in thickness as we get older and less active. 2. It is this pad which becomes painful (and even inflamed) with excessive pressure that we are not accustomed to. When high heels tilt the foot forwards, the higher the heel the more bodyweight is thrown from the entire foot on to the front section only. Heels in excess of about 4" throw virtually ALL of the bodyweight to this portion because the steepness of the back part is too steep to take any weight at all. 3. "Toe burn" is increased if the floor of the toe-box is hard, in which case it can be softened by the insertion of a cushioned in-sole. 4. "Toe burn" is further exacerbated if the toe-box is too tight which both increases the pressure and restricts the blood circulation - a disastrous combination. It is ESSENTIAL that the toe box on every high heeled shoe is sufficiently roomy in both width and height to accommodate the foot (and preferably a cushioned insole). 5. "Toe burn" sets in much more quickly if we are standing still in one spot than if we are walking along. This is because walking allows an "On-off-on-off" pressure which allows the blood to circulate, whereas the unrelieved pressure of ones's bodyweight when standing still is a real killer to many girls. 6. Fortunately, our subcutaneous sole-pads can acclimatise to the progressive wearing of high heels over the first few weeks and months. They toughen-up and gain the necessary improved circulation, so that we find we are able to go for longer and longer periods in high heels and then ultimately in very high heels with less an less discomfort. 7. Many "First time" girls don't realise any of these points. Time after time I've seen girls rush straight from flatties to 4 1/2" heels, expecting to wear them for several hours on end with no problem. Inevitably, "toe-burn" soon sets in and how often do we here them wailing "My feet are killing me!". This happens particularly at weddings, where ladies who don't normally dress-up much suddenly have to put on their "Best" clothes and shoes and endure an entire wedding, reception, dinner and dance totalling many hours in unfamiliar heels. And how many times do we see the Saturday night "pubbers and clubbers" walking home barefooted on our city's pavements carrying their 4" and 4 1/2" heels! In the light of the above, these are my suggestions for your wife and others: a) Start with 3" or 3 1/2" heels, making sure the toe-box is generous and inserting a cushioned insole. Naturally, she can progress to 4" (and even 5" or more if you are lucky!) once she has toughted her feet and built up confidence. Start with short wearing periods. This varies from girl to girl. Some of us have been able to manage three of four hours right from the start, but for others the limit can be as little as half-an-hour before gradually increasing the time-span to all-day wearing. c) There is a huge difference between going out to a cinema movie or restaurant (where the majority of the outing is spent sitting-down), and spending the evening standing on our feet at a bar or dancing all night. IN SUMMARY: Why not invite your wife to a nice shoe shop and treat her to some nice 3" or 3 1/2" heels of generous fit with a view to her keeping them on whilst you enjoy a nice celebratory meal at a good restaurant, telling her a couple of times how absolutely fantastic and transformed she looks in those high heels. That should prove to her that she can easily endure a gently evening in sexy shoes, and look and feel great in the process. With any luck, that'll give her the "bug", and from then on (in gentle stages), the sky's the limit! Wishing you and her all the luck in the world! Love, Lucy Life is not a rehearsal. Why not use it to present ourselves as smartly and attractively as possible? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
highheellover Posted September 19, 2004 Share Posted September 19, 2004 sounds like good advice lucy. Girls and heels rock. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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