saudade

Heelster, the pink sounds fun!  I have wanted an occasion to wear pink heels.  I guess I have to get the pink heels first and the pickings in size 12 have been un-amazing.

 

Regarding the couple posts about being in DSW in heels I had a surprisingly "so, so" experience in DSW that may have been better had I been wearing heels.  I started looking down the aisles with some nice stiletto pumps and some wedge sandals.  As expected I didn't find any boxes showing a size 12 and I was a little surprised that I found no size 11 shoes either.  I got a couple of uneasy looks while in the aisle though I thought I projected confidence.  Then I went back to the shelves in the back with clearance shoes.  This was a new store however I have seen a pair or two of 12 back there in other stores.  There weren't any.  Then a female clerk in her mid-twenties approached me kind of uncomfortably leaning her way in to check in on me.  She asked if she could help and yes, I am looking for heels in size 12.  She kind of hummed and said something like, "Yeah, you are probably not going to find too many size 12 heels anywhere.  That is just an unusually large size."  I thought, "Wow!"  It was a new store however I wouldn't expect a sales associate that under trained and unprepared for somebody asking about size 12 heels.  Had I been wearing a pair perhaps it could have been educational for her.

 

Best,

Larry

I find dsw to be hit or miss. One of my favorite times was I got a very uneasy male associate that seemed to have to wait on me. So I picked the most stiletto-y and crazy high heels ever. I think he was more freaked out than I was. Granted I wear size 9-10 depending on the brand but needless to say its rather fun to troll people in person. Or maybe I'm sadistic, one of the two either way. >.<

I've also gotten phone numbers and compliments from the female associates because they just said its fun to see guys that enjoy shoes. So, I had a point with this post I'm sure but yeah, the unexperienced employees can be hella fun to break in is I think the point. And as guys wearing heels, its your duty to do so.

I don't think I could pull that off, but you certainly do. The only thing I wonder about is what is going on with the shirt? Is it supposed to be tucked in, or not? It looks like it's about half and half. I'm thinking tucked with that extremely short jacket. Other than that, I have no comments. Oh yeah, "How do you walk in those shoes?" Hahahaha.

That particular shirt is too short to tuck in and have it stay there unless I want to perpetually tuck the shirt every time I move my torso 10 degrees or lacking that every 10 seconds. I also didn't feel like wearing a belt.

I thought the general shirt tucking etiquette is if it doesn't sit about halfway on your ass tucking the shirt is pointless and as such unnecessary?

But I will admit I didn't think everyone would the outfit so much to be honest. I was kind of thinking to myself the blazer in general was too much. But I kinda got it for that reason, that and it seemed fun.

Ok trying something new, so I'm trying to work in skinny jeans in style wise. And I was a sucker and bought this blazer because well, I have no shame. But so I bought the blazer first, then the shoes to match. Just trying this whole thing out for the moment, not sure on the overall effect. So critique away! Sorry for the selfie pictures, my phone is pretty much my camera really.

well, when it comes to what to use, get either NAIR gel, OR VEET gel/cream, both work VERY well-just stay away from anything that is a FOAM format-you are waisting your money. yours, Brad/demoniaplatforms

I epilate personally, nair... hurts.

I find I drive in heels just fine.

Not saying it isn't possible, just that when i'm driving I prefer consistency. That and its just nicer not worrying about scuffing anything needlessly.

You mean like the flats they market such as these?

http://www.amazon.com/Black-Sidekicks-Foldable-Flats-Medium/dp/B00ENP0Y1I

I have a pair of shoes for the car basically because no need to scuff up things needlessly, that and I prefer consistency for a manual transmission. Heels, make shifting rather more annoying than necessary.

Would it surprise you that women are looking for the same qualities in men's legs that we men look for in women's legs?

No, case in point:

http://www.reddit.com/r/menslegs

I got pointed to that by a girl that said thats basically her fetish subreddit. At this point nothing surprises me.

I agree that you have to have strong ankles, but you might want to add sturdy calf muscles as well. Your calf muscles are in for a world of hurt if they aren't in shape.

Gotta have both, or well, this will happen:

to this day I regret I didn't fight to keep this thread in the For the Guys section.  sigh

 

Anyhow, here's the instagram page of Paul Duane.  A man who has successfully incorporated his woman on bottom/man on top look into all categories of his life from career to even his girlfriend.  He's been mentioned on here before.

 

http://instagram.com/thepaulduane

Somewhat curious as to why this should be only in the guys forum.

From what you described it doesn't sound like she was saying that a guy has to convincingly pass as a woman to wear heels. Perhaps she's reasonably open-minded about gender but more polarised in her thinking about fashion... like she doesn't mind guys jumping over the fence to the other side, but wants the fence to stay.

 

I think some of the more tailored styles of clothes, from the mens or womens department, can look great with heels. Meanwhile I can't imagine wearing heels with tracksuit bottoms regardless of which department they came from. I see it as more of a casual vs sharp style distinction rather than menswear vs womenswear.

Yep, honestly I can't think of wearing most mens clothes with heels just because honestly, I agree overall with what this woman said. They clash a bit too much. More the overall look has to "fit", aka wearing baggy pants isn't going to look good with stilettos. On anyone, ever probably. But wear stilettos with skinny jeans, if you're a stick like I am and can strut well enough you only get positive comments. Well that and high school kids start taking pictures and i'm sure posting on Facebook, but whatever.

You can't ignore the forest for the trees, just like if you're wearing heels you can't ignore the rest of the outfit.

So Aldo has been having a sale lately. Aaaand, well I got a few pairs on the cheap.

So I got both the beige and black versions of these:

http://www.aldoshoes.com/us/women/shoes/platform-pumps/31984129-malocutrazzo/97

Only annoying bit is the damn zipper is loud as shit. Thinking I'll get some jb weld and fix that problem for good.

And the beige of these (the blues were sold out in my size, boo:

http://www.aldoshoes.com/us/women/shoes/platform-pumps/31453440-crixia/34

The crixia (last link) is my favorite cause its so stupid high and still a platform. Its almost like wearing a 5.5" pump in the pitch. Somewhat surprising.

But since the black model turned out to be the most... in need of breaking in a quick shot of what they look like from my vantage point whilst I do stuff.

So because there are so many people here that are into really high heels, would the comparison of 5 inch heels versus 6 inch with 1 inch platform be a more fair comparison?

I'll note I find the platforms more fun to walk in than single soles. They also feel higher normally due to the overall shortening of the contact area due to the platform, but paradoxically they feel more grounded/stable. That and I really don't get the "jack stand" or club foot viewpoints. I guess if thats what you see its what you see but I just think they look nice. Both have a certain je ne sais quoi feel to each, I don't put either type on any pedestal to the other, just more consider them two interpretations of heels. Like a sedan versus a coupe since we seem to love car analogies.

Wear what you want, neither, either, or both. Denigrate the shoes not the wearer, but in the end its down to preference. 

So, to be honest sandals never really "did it" for me. But I got a pair and now I have a few more. So first up, these were like ~$35 or so, and they are beyond comfy. The "straps" are basically just stretchy fabric, which basically makes them stupid comfy. Got them off yoox.com on some random sale. Anywho. So they are bcbgmaxazria, and sorry I threw away the box already so no idea what the style name is.

Right so then I found these Dolce Vita... err something or other sorry threw the box away on these too for $25 so said screw it why not. But with these I realized I need to get some work done on the toes before I ever wear them outside of my abode.

And then, so these were $60 on a sale, but so far they're my favorite. Stupid high heel arch and heel. But also the strappy bits make it pretty easy to wear. These are steve madden strechee or whatever, they're on the site now so go get em. I had to put gel inserts in them so my feet didn't slide forward so damn much, but other than that they're great. They're one of the highest arch heels I own, much higher and I'd be hitting 6 inch heels/fetish territory.

Past that, I've spent enough on shoes for a while. Next up is getting the little piggies looking worth showing off in any of these. I should do the err, french toenails? dunno what they're called, whatever the ones that spongebob and patrick did in that one episode. I'll give that a go first cause I don't know what I'm doing and might as well follow what a cartoon from the past did.

Please say you're kidding. 

 

This thing with pictures being oriented correctly, is just a big pet peeve with a great number of us here. The truth is it really spoils the presentation of the shoe.

 

This kind of goes along with the YouTubers that think it's okay to upload a portrait video and present it sideways. It get's a quick closing unless it's something I really need to see.

Not really related to the thread too much, but it gives me a chance to plug the best thing on youtube. Glove and Boots talking about vvs, vertical video syndrome.

I love wedges! I have been chasing these for a while now:

 

https://shopping.yahoo.com/961935606-seychelles-midas-touch-womens-dress-sandals-black/

 

I saw them on ruelala and didnt buy them now I cant find them anywhere. I would love to wear them out with a nice pedicure!

http://www.gilt.com/brand/seychelles/product/156248585-seychelles-midas-touch-sandal

Thank me later, but 9.5 and size 10 are still there in pewter. Not sure if thats the right size or not but its like the last spot to find em outside of ebay.

Ok so my latest buy.

So I'm a sucker for high heels (5"+ though 5.5" ~14cm is pretty much my realistic limit, can only wear/walk in those for a few miles at most before my arches turn into razor blades).

These though, comfy, though my only gripe is the heels are semi-wobbly. So eh. But they fit me rather well enough. In short, they're the least annoying pointy toe shoes i've ever worn to date. Still breaking them in but worn them around the place whilst I clean and they're almost like wearing sneakers comfort wise. Which is odd, either i'm getting used to stupid high heels or they're just a good fit. Eh whatever, picture bomb incoming.

From here if you want a pair (other colors, this is faux snakeskin, aka its just cut to look like snakeskin) http://www.celebboutique.com/paris-white-faux-snake-skin-point-toe-heels-us-2.html

They do ship rather quickly though so there's that.

I got hit by a car riding my bicycle a few yrs back, had my nails polished I think but my socks never came off. it might have been different if I was prepared for it, and If my wife was part of the equation. I may be wrong but I see a lot of replies were people get complements and I always wonder if it is just a way that people let "us" know they noticed out feet.

I think you're projecting here. Sometimes a cigar is just a cigar.

Very cool.  The relevant discussion doesn't start until 22 minutes in.

Whoops my bad, forgot it took a bit to spin up. I tend to listen while running or going to work so I tend to forget about those little details.

From a more scientific bent:

http://youarenotsosmart.com/2014/06/06/yanss-podcast-25-how-the-clothes-you-wear-change-your-perceptions-and-behaviors-with-hajo-adam/

While it doesn't touch on anything like what we talk incessantly about here, it does bring up interesting questions regarding clothing in general.

Also apparently I need to buy a lab coat if I want to screw up less.

I actually just found your explanation in the other forum, it was very informative. Thanks!

As someone that can wear 5.5" heels and also has 6" heels from 6ihf, the arch doesn't mean a damn thing in my not so humble opinion. >.<

Ok Dr.Shoe. All I have to do is to make an effort often and fear will be over! Of course I heard laugh of me and two family members against my heel fetish but like many of you here with the sex-therapist and with few women sellers many people still have an old mentality about men in heels. They were always used to associate things with others. More of them do not know hetero men in heels. The fact is they do not know us enough and they believe their own reality from education. But they do not know all for sure their associations are completely false! They have an old mentality with ton of prejudices. If they would be enough numberous to open their eyes they would know that their thinkings are stupidities learnt from bad educated manners!

 

Why should I let them influence me? I am thinking liars too seriously and I have the choice to follow their stupid mind or mine! The truth they do not know and they refuse to admit. What will happen if I wear heels? Nothing! I will not screw off my life like my dad thinks! Consequences he thinks and other folks are not totally true!They have their opinions about negative feedbacks and  negative consequences are not going to happen exactly  like they say!

 

 

Also I do not understand what saudade means when he talked about family. His English is hard to translate into french.  His first paragraph after the answer to that is simple. Nothing

 

It begins by: (The answer to what I do when family finds out... until I am biased)

 

And his expression with the spoon I do not get it!

 

 

Rest I get it

 

 

Thank you for your support it helps me more!

My bad, sick me isn't very good at not using idioms, or language. So for my family, in short, we don't get along well for other reasons. That story is too damn long and unrelated so I'll leave that go.

And for the spoon thing, well its in the Matrix. Its one of the only really well known examples of buddhist/stoicism thought in popular culture. So the gist of the whole thing is this. In the movie Neo is trying to bend a spoon with his mind. He meets a young buddhist child bending a spoon and the child states "do not try to bend the spoon with your mind that is impossible, instead realize there is no spoon".

Now, in relation to men wearing heels the analogy I was trying to give was don't try to bend society to what you want it to become/embrace, that is impossible, realize societal's opinion on you wearing heels is pointless and irrelevant to you wearing heels.

If that helps, I just realized how much I use idioms to get points across. Sorry! But good luck either way, just realize take it one step at a time, and don't try to say wear stilettos out for a 10 mile shopping trip or whatever. It is like running, don't try to run 3 miles from the start, good way to get shin splints. Same deal, walk before you run and before you run far run the same distance consistently.

Hopefully that was clearer than the mud I gave earlier.

Ok I see but how would you react when it is people you know or family member? It is that thing that is very scarying!

 

I was wrong with the two stores. It is verona not Veronica. Verona from veronashoes.com. They have two stores in my town.

 

 

One with men and one with a man and woman. I prefer asking to a woman. I was affraid of two guys in verona store and in labaie store. Both guys were not a problem I was worried for nothing. They said nothing and I talked with the guy at labaie. Respectful !

 

 

You see a group of 6-9 men who enter in a commercial centre. Imagine yourself in heels! OUCH!

 

Men make me scary!

 

When I was wearing my heel boots I was paying so much attention to others. I should not!

 

It is hard when you begin heeling but need to get used to. Otherwise nothing is supposed to stop you and I envy those who succeded!

 

All troubles for a simple pair of shoes! I have to work hard on myself if I want to get more (thrusting myself). I know I could be audacious!

The answer to what I do is simple. Nothing.

The answer to what I do when my family finds out: will decide that if/when I need to. If its that big of a deal and a problem, well to be honest they can learn to deal with it. It isn't even close to things like saying I'm gay/bisexual/etc... If they can't get over something this insignificant, maybe i'm better off without. Sounds cruel maybe but honestly if your own family can't accept you for what you are without labeling you, whats the point? Mine is already on thin ice due to other issues so maybe I'm biased.

As to specifically what do I do if I see 6-9 guys in a public space, the same as if I'm wearing chucks. Look over, maybe nod, move on with life. If they choose to make it an issue then I'll deal with that then. Worrying needlessly about "what ifs" is not a healthy way to live. I've been laughed at WAY more than anything approaching threats. To be honest most of the time its either girls that are impressed I can walk in heels so well, or guys doing the same, or laughter from the peanut gallery. The latter phases me absolutely zero now. Laugh it up, at least I'm being true to myself, they can have fun painting me any way they want. Not my problem.

I do want to re-iterate though, the first and/or best thing you need to do is get out from your parents/siblings control/influence. If you want to be your own person, whether that means wearing heels, or dresses, or skirts, or corsets, or I don't know whatever, you need to do that from a place where you can do it without the threat of retaliation. From there confidence is up to you to build.

The problem with me is I am too much anxious. When I got discovered I got traumatized by the behavior of three folks where I live. Since that I am not respectful towards my father and the mother-in-law and the brother. I take anxiety drug but it is so big to deal with it. It was good to reduce my anxiety for wearing heel for the first time and after that this is another story. I think  it is too much hard for me I will have to reduce my stress. Finding another home to stay far from my town which is outside quebec city. Finding also a stability in my life for working. I wanna live far from those three stupid people. Once it will be changed maybe I could wear heels at long time. Now I am unable to do anything and I have  almost finished my Professional training.

 

...

 

I am gonna try to stop complaining here to disturb you.

I think there are a few issues here, I'll try to address them one by one. 

First up, don't worry at all about wearing heels until you are out on your own. It will just keep rolling over in your head. Don't do it it isn't productive and can send you down a negative spiral.

Second, and this is the one that takes time and realization, start reading some buddhist principles on attachment as well as stoicism (specifically Marcus Aurelius and his not quite a book Meditations).

The key thing to remember here is nobody will accept males wearing say stilettos, until we force them to. Doesn't mean there aren't repercussions to doing so, as an example I never wear anything but "guy" shoes to work. Not because I don't think people could accept it, but for career advancement opportunities its simpler to appear "normal".

Outside of work, if they have issues screw em not my problem. As a early 20 year old in some ways I envy you more, the younger girls are way more accepting of things like this. Stupid example, I met a poly 22 year old last week and she was basically fine with the whole thing and didn't seem to care. Was more impressed with me being able to wear them at all.

So start from there, like in the matrix don't approach the problem as: "society doesn't accept men in stilettos". While this is true to an extent, its also inconsequential. Be the change you want to see in the world. Basically, and not sure if this will translate (my french is atrocious sorry) do not try to bend the spoon, that is impossible, realize the truth, there is no spoon.

This applies here too, if you want to wear stilettos outside like women, do it or don't. If you don't make changes in your life to allow it to happen. Be unafraid of being the center of attention and getting laughs, but most importantly realize that the people that laugh or antagonize are the ones with the problem.

Hopefully that came out ok, have a splitting headache and sore throat. Back to my electric blanky.

Another angle:

http://shoerazzi.com/christian-louboutin-custom-sculpted-wedges-angelina-jolie/

I don't think they look that great though, but eh not like anyone is paying me for my fashion opinion. >.<

Saudade how is the sizing? They look great and I see they carry up to size 10.

Pretty generous actually. If you can fit into 10's you're probably fine with these. My only remote warning is calves are pretty small. There's a good reason for the skinny jeans with these.

But give it a go. Also its amazon so returns are dead simple if it isn't all up to snuff.