gwl1

Back pain can also be caused by medications. Nexium and the like are notorious for causing back pain. Watch out for those purple pills - you may get more than you bargained for! GWL

There wasn't much truth to the original article. If there were, you would see companies like Zappos.com starting to carry men's shoes with higher heels. If you do a search on that site for all dress shoes or all casual shoes, you won't see a thing other than western boots with any kind of high heel at all. So I'd say it's all wishful thinking at this point <sigh>. That should not stop us from pushing the envelope, however, and making some hay out of the publicity if we can. But I still don't believe it's much of a trend right now. GWL

If your interest in wearing heels is initially for fetish and sexual arousal, you've sent the wife or SO the message that shoes turn you on. If you continue to wear them a lot so that the fetish/arousal factor diminishes, and you get to the point where you decide you want to wear them in public, what is the woman going to think? She's still programmed to think that heels are fetish, even though perhaps you've moved beyond that and are just enjoying the feeling of wearing them; she may not know that they're no longer the turn-on to you that they once were. No wonder she may be confused and embarrassed to have you wear heels in public! You really need to talk to her about it and about your feelings. Put your cards on the table and find out what's acceptable to her. Communicate and compromise. If you haven't come out of the closet to her yet and she doesn't know about your heel wearing, you should do so, but without a hint of fetish/arousal interest. Just leave that part of you in the closet and come up with another reason for wearing heels (fun? standing taller if she's tall? medical reasons? etc.). She may think it odd, but your chances of going public with her are a lot better if she doesn't associate your interest in heeling with sexual arousal. Those of us who are confident and wear heels in public get away with it because (1) we don't radiate the message to others that this is something we've just taken of the bedroom and we're exhibitionists; and (2) we never programmed our wives/SO's to think that either (or if we did, we've overcome their insecurity about it). GWL

Ugh - never barefoot - too smelly and unhealthy. Always nylon tights, pantyhose, knee highs, or socks, even with men's shoes. They now have have nylons for guys, which fit much better than women's hose and last a lot longer. Although they're more expensive by a little bit, the cost per wearing is lots less because of their durability. In the US, check out www.lexwear.com and www.comfilon.com . In Canada, www.shapings.com ; and in Europe and UK: www.legwear4men.com and www.hosieria.de , among others.

If the hosiery biz can make nylons for men, why can't the shoe biz make high heels for men?

GWL

I did that just a couple of weeks ago. I was in an airport and walked by an older, petite woman who was wearing black pants and had one leg propped up on her suitcase to reveal a very striking pair of black, squarish toed slingbacks with a very high vamp, a wide heel strap, and a slightly tapered 3" block heel. I thought they were awesome and plenty masculine enough for a guy to wear street heeling. I put my bags down, as if to rest, and said, "Excuse me, but I am admiring your shoes. What brand are they and where did you get them?" She replied, "Thank you. They're Nine West and I got them several years ago. I don't remember where." I said, "Thanks I've been looking for a pair like them." I didn't say "for myself" but would have if she asked. I just thanked her and walked on. They were probably a size 5 or 6, but if they were 11, I'd have made an offer she couldn't refuse - they were that desirable! I've been combing Ebay everyday since then, but haven't found anything close. The hunt continues... But anyway, she appreciated the compliment, it broke the ice, and I got (some of) the information I wanted. I wished it were a current style, still available, though. Too bad. My point is, if you see a woman (or guy) wearing shoes you admire, pluck up the courage, offer a compliment, and start up a conversation. GWL1

Wait! There's a middle ground between boots and pumps/sandals that hasn't been mentioned much here. I started my heeling with loafers, but quickly discovered that I really love backless shoes much more - slides/mules/clogs and slingbacks that have high vamps (up to the instep). These provide good support so my toes don't get crunched, and the block heel and masculine front mean that no one notices that I'm wearing women's shoes (important to me), so I can street heel in such footwear all the time, summer and winter. My love for heels is the feeling I get wearing them, not so much the desire to show them off. I wear for comfort, not so much for appearance. I own a few boots but my feet get too hot and sweaty in boots. Pumps and sandals are too femme for me. But slides/mules/clogs and slings are perfect and as mentioned above, most of what I like to invest in are shoes I can wear out of the house. Street heeling is great fun! GWL

The same kind of illogical thinking goes on when people see men in ANY kind of female attire, not just shoes. I wear tights and pantyhose as well as heels in public, as a happily married straight guy. In addition to this forum, I follow the discussions on the Legwear as Unisex Fashion forum on Delphi at http://forums.delphiforums.com/legwearuf . There are many comments there which are very similar to here. Why so many people jump to the conclusion that "if a guy wears anything femme he must be gay" is beyond me.

The folks over at Comfilon's Activskin legwear for men http://www.comfilon.com have discussed this issue on their web site under Customer Support, "OAQs" (occasionally asked questions) at http://www.comfilon.com/OAQs.asp It's worth a quick read. I love their "comeback":

Conversation: "I notice you're wearing pantyhose. Are you gay?" Response: "No, I'm not gay. But I have a friend who is gay, and he has a shirt just like the one you're wearing...." Get the point?

GWL

Johnieheel, I would be interested in a heel meet in Ohio. Closer to Columbus would draw people from all over the state, and away from the lake-effect snows of the northern tundra. Or schedule it for spring and nicer weather. GWL

That depends on your definition of affordable. Comfilon, in America, is not that high priced, but they admit it is more expensive than the cheap junk you get at the drug and discount stores. They say it's because they have to make small quantities, and larger sizes require more fabric. I think their stuff is good value. It's definitely more durable so I get more wearings and the cost per wearing is lower than the cheap junk. Check it out. I believe they sell through distributors in the UK, Germany, and other places.

www.comfilon.com

GWL

Heel-D, There's probably nothing wrong with your camera. Your mistake was to stand in front of a brightly lit background. The camera saw the bright background and compensated for it by darkening the foreground (you). Try facing the bright light and putting the camera between the light and yourself. Bet your photos come out much better. Good luck. I like the court shoes. GWL

Ruby,

You mentioned nylon stockings before. You might introduce your bf to the following site: www.comfilon.com They sell men's legwear - tights, pantyhose, stockings and socks. It's all good quality stuff, made for men's dimensions and anatomy, and more durable than women's hose. He will enjoy it, I'm sure.

Like earrings, men are wearing nylon hose more these days, too, and doing it publically. There is a web forum similar to this one that you should visit: http://forums.delphiforums.com/legwearuf It's called Legwear as Unisex Fashion, and its purpose is to promote hosiery wearing for both genders as acceptable. Check it out. The same fears and concerns you see here are also expressed there.

If I may make another comment, it seems to me that the basic problem between you and your bf is communication, or lack of it. Neither of you wants to let on that you know more than you do for fear of ruining the relationship. My advice would be for you to put all your cards out on the table first. Buy your bf a pair of heels he will like, and give them to him as a present. Tell him you want him to wear them. Give him the message that it's ok with you. He'll eventually "get it".

Good luck!

Try http://www.tlcintimates.com/index.php/cPath/171

Also http://www.tlcformen.com.au Same company.

Great selection and located in Brisbane.

GWL

Try http://www.legwear4men.com and http://www.nylons-strumpfhosen-shop.de

They carry great nylon pantyhose, tights, and stockings, made for men and in large sizes.

GWL

There is a forum practically identical to this one in a way. It's about guys who want to wear legwear (tights, pantyhose, stockings, etc.) as males, and it's at http://forums.delphiforums.com/legwearuf It's called Legwear as Unisex Fashion, on Delphi Forums. Check it out. Like hhplace, it's a support group for guys who want to wear legwear in public and want acceptance from spouses, S.O.'s, and "society" (whatever that is). The questions are similar and the answers are similar. It may be a long time before society accepts the idea of men wearing articles of clothing that are commonly associated with women, but make no mistake - it's happening more than ever. So if you want to wear shoes with heels, just screw up the courage to do it, and...well, do it! The first time is the most difficult, but it gets easier. The more men are seen doing it, the less "odd" it becomes. When guys first started wearing earrings, it was really unusual and people stared; now they don't even give it a second glance. Wear your heels (and hose or anything else) proudly and with confidence, and chances are that people either won't notice, or if they do it will be positive. Wear them like you feel guilty about it, and your insecurity will also show through, and you'll probably be laughed at. C'mon guys, it's all in the way we present ourselves. Get out there and wear what you want. Don't wait for society to "approve". It's not going to for a long time.

www.comfilon.com sells knee highs for men in sizes to fit men. Both opaque and sheer. Good value for the money. I like their products.

GWL

With all apologies to our gay readers, for those of you who are not gay, if a homophobic guy confronts you or accuses you of being gay because of your choice of footwear, here's a good strategy. Just reply, "No, I'm not gay, but I have a friend who IS gay and he has a shirt just like the one YOU'RE wearing. Are YOU gay?" That seems to get the message through. GWL

The guys at the Delphi Forum "Legwear as Unisex Fashion" at

http://forums.delphiforums.com/legwearuf

are facing the same kinds of questions, problems, dilemmas, challenges, issues, frustrations, opportunities, benefits, joys, achievements, and accomplishments that we see here on this forum. Stepping outside the box of conventional fashion norms presents some real challenges for men, and the pioneers always get arrows in their backs.

GWL

Shakala, I was in Sydney in April and wore heeled clogs and mules there. Walked all over the city, went to Manly beach, Centennial Park, Bondi beach and The Rocks. Even went shoe shopping with my wife but didn't find anything for myself. Too bad we didn't know to arrange to get together, mate. Next visit maybe. Love your city. Been there three times. GWL

www.shoexpress.com

They're male-friendly and very helpful.

GWL

Definitely nylons! Knee highs with long pants or jeans; pantyhose/tights with long pants/jeans or with shorts. www.comfilon.com

Those clogs look fantastic! Your feet will be healthier and more comfortable in thin nylon fabric. No question.

GWL

Check out the shoes at www.shoexpress.com They seem to have a good selection of more "ordinary" women's shoes in large sizes and not so many of the fetish styles. It's a good place to shop and the sales help is very accommodating to (and comfortable with) men.

"Tact" is the unsaid part of what you think!

On another forum promoting men's fashion freedom, Legwear as Unisex Fashion, at http://forums.delphiforums.com/legwearuf , similar comments have been made about going out and about in public with shorts and sheer pantyhose (in a skin-matching color) and not being noticed. The public is not very observant and they don't expect to see a guy in pantyhose or high heels. And the mind sees what it expects to see. Occasionally, someone WILL notice (usually because he/she has the "nylon gene" in the case of legwear, or the "high heel gene" in the case of heels). Most people are usually polite enough not to say anything, except for teenage girls who giggle. So your chance of getting an unfavorable comment is very low. But still be on your guard. There are homophobes out there who equate wearing heels and/or hose with being gay, and if there's a gang of these crazies, especially in or outside a bar, well...be careful!

GWL

I wear slides and clogs in the summer, boots only in cold weather. 2-3" heel heights. Block heels only. Nobody notices or says anything. GWL

Add www.shoexpress.com to the list of large size women's shoes. The owner is very much used to helping men find their right size and she's a really nice and helpful person. They have a good selection of non-fetish shoes, too.

GWL

My guess is that they use those terms as key word phrases in order to be found by search engines when people look for those terms, and apparently a lot of them do so. I wouldn't be concerned if it doesn't apply to you. GWL