dressboots

Enflamed a tendon laying a new hardwood floor in my dinging room last month. Cannot wear heels even briefly around the house. Getting better but remember when I coud do stuff like that with no after effect. Can (still) hike 20+ miles with no problem but...

Forgot to mention tons of distractions such as home improvements, home maintenance, work, clubs, organizations, family.... Where does one find the time?

I visited the site today for the first time in a very long time and saw the new logo. I like it. Ebbing interest - common reason for many members to drop out of sight temporarily.

Just a quick zipper, with no laces?

Then again, I get the same benefits from my Franco Sarto Nolans, and without the zipper!

Definitely a zipper is my first choice. The physics of putting a zipperless or non lacing boot on require that there be enough room in the ankle for the foot to pass into the foot of the boot, thus making it bulkier. A zipper allows the ankle to be slim and form fitting not to mention ease of getting the boot on and off. Zippers that curve toward the toe as in a lot of boots today make getting in and out the boot even easier than the straight up and down zipper more common in years past.

I also just like the look of a zipper. It adds a different look to the boot.

I don't remember a seminal moment of my interest in heels. As a small child I had to wear orthopedic shoes for flat feet (that has since been discredited). My friends made fun of my orthopedic shoes which were indeed very ugly. They laced up above the ankle. They called them "granny boots." I couldn't wait to be able to wear regular kids shoes being so thrilled and happy the day I could. Maybe this is why I developed a strong opinion for shoe fashion? Early, ugly shoes. I recall the first women's fashion boots I really became interested was in the 60's. I wanted a pair of gogo boots so badly I could taste it. I expressed the desire to my parents who were cool about it but also said it would just put me up for a lot of ridicule. they said it was not stupid or wierd, just not appropriate for me. I wore my sisters knee high snow boots around the house when no one was home. Fortunately all family snow boots were stored in a box in the basement so I did not have to go into anyone's closets to for my booted adventures around the house. Later I would wear them outside when family were home under the excuse that my (boys) boots were still wet from a recent outing. I purposely allowed snow to get into my boy boots so that I would "have to" wear my sister's boots out the next time. I had no brothers so that ploy worked pretty well. I finally got my own (first) pair of block heeled (2") patent stretch boots in the 12th grade and wore them eveywhere. I got them via mail order. A local shoe shop would not sell me knee high stretch boots though they had my size as they "are really women's" boots. I had purchased a couple pairs of clunky women's snow boots from the same shop in previous years that were fairly unisex in style. I had narrow feet (AAA) so they could not fit me in any men's boots anyway. My parents never prevented me from heeling only to ask if I was sure I wanted to. Being a teenager I could get away with a lot. I went to a small public high school so knew the place was a safe for me to heel at before I started. I got a lot of verbal teasing for that but when looking down at my feet and knew this was the right thing for me. I don't think it had so much to do with wanting to wear high heels as with the sleek, smooth, tall fashions of women's boots compared to the short clunky styles for men, that attracted me. The heels came with the territory. I find that a well fitting equestrian styled boot can be as atractive as a slim sculpted 3" heel.

Good one Dressboots.

Thanks!

I tried that once years ago. In looking back it was easier to ask for a women's boot as the (male) clerk knew what I already had on so did not seem at all surprised for what I asked for. Shoe sales people know shoes, I expect. Thus they may already be figuring out what you are interested before you even ask to better assist you. No need to quickly regroup when the man wearing the guy shoes asks for a women's style.

Never intended to try any in the stores but had made the leap to select/request a apir of women's boots without the world exploding so made the next step in trying them on. Generally speaking if I just bought them without trying them on the clerk knew they were for me anyway so why not try them on?

Sorry,

You are wacked.....

LOL

Could you explain?

To paraphrase a quote I read recently: You don't stop heeling because you get old, you get old because you stop heeling.

It's the milage that is killer. I remember when I could put on just about any shoe or boot and wear it straight out of the box with no discomfort. High heels included. Back injuries prevent much heel wearing for me now. All shoes are notoriously uncomfortable for me even those ugly anthletic shoes, which are so highly regarded by many. Pinched nerves produce incorrect signals about what is going on with one's legs and feet. So maybe I can still wear heels, it is just that the feedback says this really hurts and "stop doing it." I am still an avid admirer but am adjusting style and tastes to what I might still be able to consider wearing. This too may pass.

Seems a lot of male heel wearers prefer boots. Me too. Just an idea, maybe way off the mark but for me the preference is based on look. A boot covers the ankle and lower leg at minumum, creating a smooth finished look. A lot of guys just do not have the, how should I say it nicely, the "physique" to look good in high heel shoes. We have all seen women who do not pull it off well either, for balance in this idea. Boots cover up a lot of short comings, bony ankles, fat ankles, liver spots, veins, the sort of things that are hard to hide when in a shoe or sandle. Hose or stockings can cover much up but a good, well fitting boot is best. There is as societal programing on how high heeled fashion should look which tends to be based on the female standard of a good foot/leg look, that being smooth and shapely. A boot more closely achieves this standard for me. For those who can look good in a shoe or sandle as well as boots that is great but for me a knee high boot is the best look in a heel. I am not promoting trying to look female for male wearers but proposing that the better put together the look, which boots provide for many men, the less likely it will stand out as something odd, noticeable or laughable. This in addition to many mens fashions do include boots (cowboy boots for example) which visually have a lower percentage of the visual style message being the heel, compared to a pump. It stands out less as unusual. A boot includes the leg in the fashion statement an OK one for men to make.

the elephant in the room is the perfect description of this

Generalizations are a tricky thing to make and this is no exception. The situation is often different each time.

There is a lot of misinformation on this subject out in the world which contributes to and helps the elephant in the room.

For example: "A man in high heels is homosexual."

Definitely not a good or accurate indicator, but an effective way for some with narrow minds to premptively shut down a possible discussion thus perpetuating the elephant. By making a definitive sounding statement in a forceful way indications are that having a conversation is not going to result in anything good or productive so the elephant thrives.

This forum is enabling people to recognize the elephant if for any other reason that to know it exists to some people and to know how to shrink or make it disappear. Minds may not be changed instantly but I find it surprising the number of people who do not side with the ingnorant remarks often volunteered on such subjects when someone replies that that is not necessarily true.

Thanks all for contributions to this thread. It helps to refine an idea with more views.

The stories of members who have to hide their shoes, even from spouses and close friends, always strike a discordant tone with me. It is like the culture of fear meets the angry mob of ignoarant peasants.

When I meet a new date, I almost always wear boots with 4" heels, and I make no effort to conceal them. My boots are an extension of my personality, and not a subject of shame,

It is still a matter of some conflictual nature, though, when the allegations of deviant sexual practice come to the surface. Who likes to be called names?

Yesterday, I bought a pair of new boots at J. C. Penney. Gold leather zip-up ankle boots with 4" brown stacked heels. The color is quite luminous, and very striking.

My date sugested that perhaps I should go by myself to the New Year's singles dance, "so I could show off the new boots, and holiday manicure"

When I go out with her, she likes to suggest I wear "manly flat shoes"

My shoes were never a surprise for her. I told her about them, before we met, and wore the heel boots at first meeting.

If my heels become insurmountable obstacle to the further development of this relationship, I interpret that as an omen from the gods, that it is not a match made in heaven.

Sounds like you really have your act together.

Don't let anyone change that.

No. We are seeking it to be normal for men to choose to wear heels. Why make something of it? Guys I know do not typically discuss shoes that each other are wearing. I do get it pointed out a lot that I often have bare feet this time of year (winter) so maybe heels would be discussed. This is really off topic but I include it here as an example to say that people do notice what a guy is wearing (or not) even if they say nothing. I am so comfortable in bare feet, even in the cold, I matter of factly say it is what is comfortable for me. (period). Of course my neighbors always say they know when it is really cold because I have shoes on when I walk the dog. So it is an illustration of heeling. I do not go around telling people I am barefoot. Funny thing the other day a neighbor pointed out I was barefoot and my wife standing next to me was barefooted too, but that was not noted at all. Bet that has happened to guys in heels out with their wives/girl friends. And being barefoot is still unisex!

Many are familiar with the term "the elephant in the room." Essentially it is large, cannot be ignored, but everyone is afraid to say it is there or talk about it. Men wearing high heels is this. He has set himself apart from the norm in a big way but many are afraid to compliment him for doing so, rather stay quiet, ignore it, hope it will go away, do not risk having some clod disagree. This forum is helping change that.

So, let me get this straight, she was out with you. She must have noticed something about you before you asked about your boots. Height difference? Sound of your steps. But, she did not bolt when the date started. Or has she never seen you not in high heels? She must not mind being with you but may be parroting sentiment she has heard from others (family). Kudoos for being up front with your fashion choices. You do not ever have to worry about being "found out." Did you ask her opinion to confirm suspicion that she does not like your heels as well as her family thinks you are weird? If so, now you know. Or was it just an innocent wish to be acknowledged for a smart fashion choice? However, she did not say you should stop wearing them. Just that they are nice for a woman. Sounds like there is room for a dialogue.

Always nice to have new members. Maybe more members will be on line than visitors one day! Seems to be lots of interest. Welcome.

Common saying: Hindsight is 20/20. I examine my hesitations. Example: I missed out on blade heeled boots as I was rexamining my priorites for wearing high heels. I now realize I am evolving into more an avid observer with a few high heeled boots in my size to look at whenever I want but cannot wear high heels presently due to back problems. I still would have liked a pair for my "collection." But there will be new styles in the future that I am sure I will find just as great and desireable! Sometimes it's the quest that is more fun than the actually acquiring the item.

The bottom line is she feels you have deceived her. The ultimatum of getting rid of your heels was likely made in frustration and anger. When things calm down rational dialog may be able to take place. I agree with many posters that the urge will not go away based on outside pressure. No one is perfect. If you gf cannot find the good points in you to consider backing out of a relationship due to this issue there must be other things that bug her. Wearing heels is a very minor "evil" compared to what some women put up with from their men!

Been away for a while. Glad to hear you are on the mend. Modern medicine has really made great strides in this field. Sounds like you are benefiting from it.

Bingo! Shock Queen, I thanked you, too, as both you and dressboots hit things dead center.

The idea that heel=effeminate is horsehocky.

Yes! You said it perfectly. However, I hear it frequently that a given man is dressed just a little too perfectly, thus he he must want to be a woman.

One excpetion. Jewelry

Remember when earings were stricktly woman's wear? Now I see very he-man men with diamond earing studs (in each ear sometimes). Also see very religious Christians with such apparel which runs in the face of the strictist interpretation of the scriptures that men and women should dress appropriately* to their sex. *Whatever that is seems to be flexible.

Braclets are now frequent man's accesories, even for white collar professionals.

Note: My daily wear accessorie is a bracelet. It is a style that is rare for anyone to wear thus it illicates more curiosty than reaction to me as a girly man though I do get that reaction from the occssional narrow minded person (mostly other men).

There are now big diamonds in rings for men.

So why is it that jewelry has been adopted by men from women with no repercutions?

Why not shoes and boots? We need to take back those styles which have been hijacked from men at the very least.

Definitley like it. Show off that great length of boot! Tall boots on the outside definitely not for the average guy, however.

here in australia... where the Ugg boot came from!... the Ugg is still unisex... as far as I know... then again my ugg boots are for keeping my feet warm in winter...

Here in the USA men seem to be paranoid about projecting an effeminate image. If women are wearing a style, then any self-respecting man would not.

OK that is way too general - I should qualify that my perspective is limited to my very conservative part of the USA.

If this were the rule across the board men would be going barefoot by now as every shoe that has ever designed for men or unisex has eventually been adapted/adopted for women. Either that or the guys would have to stick the ugly styles - or is that already the result!

Hello Everyone:

...as I have explored in several of my postings my heel wearing has come at the end of a long series of checks and balances being satisfied to give me the "all clear" to proceed with the adventure...

..obligations to career, employer, family, finances, self-actualizations all took their place as "fail-safes"..in other words each had certain conditions and expectation-sets I had to place ahead of any curiosities or determinations to move the heel-wearing adventure to the front of the "to-do's" lists...

...having said that I should hasten to point out that, as you can all quickly surmise, each of those obligation-sets are still in play-in the sense that if something should change then the heels go right back into the closet and the "expectations of any one of those other life-conditions would dictate when and if-if ever- the heels come out again...

..for example: suppose I have to change my contract to work for a different courier company with a different customer set each with different expectation of their relationships with the individuals picking up/delivering their commodities..NOT CONDUCIVE TO MY WEARING HEELS...

..suppose I accept employment with a company as a salaried employee like a WalMart management opportunity-NO HEELS

...suppose I have a situation in my present circumstances where someone remarks to my Company that someone does not want me coming to their place of business and my comfort-levels at this company become tenuous...

I WOULD HAVE TO CONSIDER BACKTRACKING TO REGAIN THE COMFORT-LEVELS I ENJOY AT THIS TIME

...in short I am in this position because a great many planets and events/circumstances have aligned to permit me this unparalleled freedom to be unique..and, like Jeff if one piece of this fails then everything falls under challenge-review-and reevaluate...

it would probably mean the end of this high-heel adventure so in one sense I feel that it is only going to last so long before some one of these other priorities forces its way to the head of the expectation-line...

comments welcome

Jim

JSpikeheels

I believe you put heel wearing in excellent perspective that all can understand.

Employment certainly has a major impact on how we conduct ourselves in the world. There is a look that many employers want their business to project, rightfully so. If freestyle fashion does not fit with that, they have the right to discourage it. It becomes one's decicision to abide by that rule or look elsewhere for employment. The plusses of staying with a job may far outweight wanting to dress a certain way so one happily stays and finds other outlets for their adventures.

You are lucky to have the option in your life to freestyle at this point and hope you can continue your heeling adventure unhindered. I work with a lot of public contact. High heels I doubt would be successful on the job though the dress code rule states no open toed shoes or sandles. Somethings a guy just knows better not to try. I really like my job so willingly project the image my employer wants.

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