cjveritas

hello cjveritas,

I've ordered from Blicker too, they are reliable. They also have a "real" shoe store in Hamburg.

I also shop on www.yoox.com . they are an italian outlet selling discounted italian designer fashion including footwear from previous seasons (but only standard female shoe sizes).

Thanks for the reply. Good intel for me for future purchases!

Great site, Yoox!

Thanks, found em! I'm not the most avid member of the forum!

I bought three pair of heels from Fuss schuhe and I'm very pleased. I've looked around on the net for other site and found Blicker shoes, also german. Is this a good online vendor, reliable? Any other sites you can recommend? Where do you buy/bought your stuff? Satisfied? thx

I have always been a fan of very cute/feminine/girly styles of high heels. I'd love to be able to wear them out all the time under my regular jeans. Although I am very hesitant to be seen in public wearing obviously girly shoes, I am also reluctant to consider wearing more masculine, less obvious, women's styles (just for the sake of wearing high heels) too - they're just not the styles I want to wear.

I was wondering how many of you other guys wear girly styles (courts/pumps/mules/strappy sandals/etc.) out in public?

Do you wear them often?

What styles do you wear? (any pictures would be good)

Do you wear them with your regular clothes?

Do you get many adverse reactions?

Most (not that I have a problem with this) guys on this forum, as I can see based on the pictures posted here, wear the more 'butch' kind of high heels. There is mostly a preference for leather over other materials and mostly patent dark colours mostly black. Of these styles I like just about half.

I don't like ballets or pumps that go over 5" without a platform.

I just happen to like more 'girly'-styles. Platforms with prints in textile in different colours and different fabrics. I have a somewhat more 'romantic' passion on high heels.

The word "retifism" means "shoe fetishism" and has no separate meaning. The term "shoe retifism" would be akin to saying "shoe shoe fetishism". I can understand why you wouldn't want to use the term "fetish" as it has sexual connotations, but "retifism" carries exactly the same meaning.

If you want a general term for an exceptional interest there's always "enthusiast", "admirer" or "fan".

Chris

Now that's a clear answer! I guess I can then call it a shoe-hobby just as a my Hifi-hobby.

As many in this thread already mentioned it all comes down to what your comfortable with. Eventhough these forummembers share the same interest it stays something personal for some more than others.

Maybe the acceptance of the connotation that goes along with 'shoe fetish or retifism' is mearly a matter of character. Your either introvert or extravert about it or swing somewhere in the middle.

In the end technical terms usually fail in defining subjective matters not to say 'human matters'.

I just can't help noticing two different groups on this forum. The dedicated ones and the more secretive ones. If this indeed applies I would surely be part of that second group.

As I mentioned in my previous reply I wonder how many you see things the way I do? What specifically drives you or is the base of origin of your high heel interest? With this question I'm trying to assertain if it is usually the same thing for everyone or an individual thing. What's your psychological story about high heels? Is it like mine, in my previous reply?

I guess I'm a lucky one. I wear from size EUR41 to EUR42,5. General women's sizes to just outside women's sizes.

According to The Encyclopedia of Unusal Sex Practices altocalciphilia is a fetish specfically for high heels, wheres retifism is a fetish for footwear whether high heeled or not.

Chris

By this definition "shoe retifism" would be the 'diagnose' in my case for 'footwear considered feminine in today's modern society'. 'Any footwear' would not apply for me. Footwear, as seen by society, for men do nothing for me. I don't feel that 'extra' for my everyday footwear, 'it's just footwear'.

Personally I find this description vague. Not taking in account all the different definitions of fetish or retifism, I find 'shoe fetish' a more stigmatizing term for explicit sexual deviance whereas 'shoe retifism' seems, to me at least, a more general term for an exceptional interest in a 'non-human' object or device.

The reason I started this thread was also to find a more 'suitable' label for my 'hobbies'. I have two of them: Hifi and high heels.

I have often read in magazines and books that people that have a Hifi-crush (amplifiers/DVD/loudspeakers - other tech-stuff) are referred to as Hifi-fetishists.

As a fellow 'Hifi-fetishist' I find the term fetish inappropriate for this, certainly when I think of what the term fetish generally refers to: PVC/Leather and other 'kinkyness'.

Since I feel the same way about high heels or more generally feminine footwear, as I do about Hifi and tech-stuff (PC!). I also find the term fetish inappropriate for high heels or a femine 'footwear-crush'.

Behind this I have a bit of an entire logic of my own. For me feminine shoes, and more for high heels, are accesories that make the wearer (whether boy or girl) more elegant and noble. This not only on the outside but also on in the wearer's mind.

I'm a very old-fashioned guy when it comes to girls. I still believe in the sweet girl rather than the cool selfrightious bitch, the two extremes. For me this means the picture has to fit. A woman who appears to be nice/friendly/goodlooking and caring that wears high heels to me looks even more elegant. The opposite kind of woman wearing high heels makes dislike/hate her even more so much that I even dislike the shoes she wearing eventhough they are very nice shoes. This 'cinderella-syndrome' is of course entirely based on appearances. You could actually call me a 'cinderella-man': "The right shoe for the right princess!". I could be wrong half or more of the time. I could be deadwrong about someone's character eventhough she is goodlooking and wearing beautiful high heels. In other words an illusion of the mind, in this case mine. Romance and physical elegance go hand in hand for me, when one is missing the picture is wrong. This doesn't mean I'm narrowminded about people I meet as I'm aware that it is an illusion.

As I am old-fashioned guy this all may seem a bit 'rosy', naive or childish. It is however the origin of my 'infatuation' with high heels, in a nutshell: the elegant ideal high heels create eventhough it's an illusion of the mind (yet a beautiful one). (a bit of an answer to a question like: "Why do you like the colour blue?")

I do wonder how many of you guys feel the same way about it?

Well thanks for the extensive replies! I can tell you have given these concepts quite a bit of thought. Another thing I now realize is that high heels 'passions' stretch from extreme deviant sexual behaviour to a passive (in some cases latent) interest. I guess the most important thing is to be OK with it. 'Dandydude' made a very interesting remark. I like ballerina's (a knew fashion fad in these last years) too. Especially the elegant desing or the ones with floral prints. I guess I 'appreciate' the fragile aspect of 'female' footwear, from flats to high heels. Strange though that I don't like most shoe designs with heel heights between flats and 3 inches.

Hmm! A good question. This will sound contradictory, but while I love wearing heels, I haven't worn them since April as I've just been too lazy to bother. However, once the weather cools down, I'll be back in them with a vengeance. However, I have other interests to keep me busy when I'm not in heels, so I manage to keep a good balance.

Well 'JeffB' I kinda in the same situation as you are. I've loved high heels since I was very young. See my story: http://www.hhplace.org/discuss/hellos_goodbyes_introductions/2488-newly_joined.html.

Shortly after my 11th birthday my mom took all her high heels shoes to my aunt. Since then I have spent 13 years without high heels. On the 21th of june I received my mail-ordered high heels. I enjoy them very much. But for a while now I've had absolutely no desire to wear them.

I still like high heels don't get me wrong, but to a lesser extent. Maybe it's the consequence of 13 years delayed passion?

Anyway I'm very calm about it. It has promped an interest in literature on shoe fetishism or retifism. http://www.hhplace.org/discuss/guys/8855-shoe_fetishism_shoe_retifism.html

I've read on the net that the term shoe fetishism is incorrect and that the correct term would been 'shoe retifism'. (cfr. Nicolas Rétif) Fetishism implies a part of the human body to be object of affection, e.g. foot fetishism, whereas retifism means that something outside of the body, not human and anorganic, is object of affection. What do you think is the correct terminology for somebody that 'loves' high heels? Educate me please!

How much 'space' does your high heels interest/passion/craze take up of your life? How much of your heart is conquered by high heels? Is life manageable or difficult yet possible or impossible without? I, personally, find life without my heels manageable as my hobby/passion (I haven't quite made up yet which one is applicable for me). I think I fit in between manageable and difficult yet possible, more towards manageable. Sorry for the confusion, I'm quite a complicated guy! I have at least one passion and that's HIFI-audio. I'm still trying to figure out if high heels are a hobby or a passion. Anyway how much does it mean to you?

I'm strictly an online buyer. I would like to go shopping for heels so I would be able to try them on but I just haven't got the nerve. Don't think I ever will! Most important thing: I can live with online purchases. Most styles I fancy are only available online. I don't know of any local shops that sell my favourite styles.

I like various styles of high heels. I am, however, not so fond of extreme heels without platforms, genre 6" and 7". I even like goth styles of heels (Demonia,...), some more than others, again not the extreme ones. My favourite heel height must be 4" but anything from flat (rather bit more than) to 5" goes for me. I like more discrete heels to very feminin/girly heels. 'Butch-styles' don't work for me. I like a high heeled shoes to be elegant or chunky but in any case to be simple, basic, chic or detailed. My favourites are sandals, preferably not to strappy, in wedge style or with a stiletto or cone (I like the sleekness) heel. Pumps of course, no lower than 3" and no higher than 5", in leather (patent or not) or suede or textile and in various colours, preferably classic black, white, dark blue or exotic babypink. I haven't got any boots yet but I do like them but no more than sandals or pumps. In boots I like more feminine styles and nothing higher than knee height. I like boots in a textile style, with a subtile print or suede ones with or without a platform. Leather is ok if the style is sleek and sexy. I like platforms a bit more than no platform, it however, usually entirely depends on the style of shoe. I like to wear platform sandals with bare feet or very slim ankle socks. I like the elevated feeling of the platform conbined with graceful feeling of a high heel and the idea that the base of my foot is away from the floor. I have a somewhat more feminine taste to some people' standards, eventhough I'm quite a masculine type, then again I don't go out in heels. I could never bring myself to do just that. I just haven't got the nerve and I don't think I ever will have. No one else among my family or friends knows about my interest in heels and I intend to keep it that way. I guess I'm very nuanced and particular about my interests.

I haven't started a lot of threads on this forum, but I was curious about how your high heels history began.

When did you first 'fall in love' with high heels? All of a sudden or after a very specific event?

Did you have any 'bumps' along the way or have you been able to enjoy heels without any 'disturbance' so far?

Please share me your background, breakthroughs/troubles or even life changing-events.

My story: http://www.hhplace.org/discuss/hellos_goodbyes_introductions/2488-newly_joined.html

Thanks

Revenge is mine! Yesterday I received my online purchased high heels, 3 pairs! I know am part of the HH-community again after 13 years!!! Can you imagine the patience I've had?!! I now have 1 pair of 4 inch white platform wedge sandals, 1 pair of 5 inch black mini-platform sandals and 1 pair of 6 inch black platform sandals. I'm back, and how!!!! No more fantasy, reality!!! Thx

I am pleased with this forum. I was only trying to find out how big the Belgian high-heels-scene is.

Is such a thing like a Belgian High heels forum? Just asking!

No arguement here! That's a healthy lifestyle! It's up to oneself to find the right amount of highheel-time. Everybody has different needs and different standard even in the HH-community. Right?

cjveritas:-)

Stilettofan, PJ, genebujold, and loveheel have all imparted some excellent time-honored advise to you on your high heel problem and how to not alienate your parents in this situation, and I for one would like to strongly re-enforce what advise they have put forth. It appears that you may be on your own sooner than you might expect. Possibly you can find some women's footwear with a higher heel that can satisfy your immediate needs by street-heeling under long jeans or pants very much like a lot of us have been doing over various periods of time.

Welcome to our little corner of cyber-space and keep posting to let us know how you are getting along and progressing with your high heeling. Remember one thing here---you are not alone because you will quickly find that you have friends all around the world.

Cheers---

Dawn HH

Thanks for the support and understanding.

Leaving home for a place of my own may still take a while. Housing is quite expensive in Belgium.

The longer I stay with my parents, the more chances I have of putting some money aside for future housing, my audio-hobby and of course my future highheel-collection. I'm still studying for at least another two years, probably another three years. And then it's off finding a job and saving some money. All and all, about five/six years till I get going on my own.

By the way: I'm still single so I'll have to do something about that too.

A lifetime of joy, hopefully!

"cjveritas", Is that a wordplay ? Did you study Latin in school ? I remember that is still custom in Belgium.

Good luck with your parents. Maybe you can buy something really

conservative from the women's side ? It may not please you, but it may show that you can wear women's shoes in style and without people

staring at you.

I know Belgium a little bit as I have friends there and visit a lot. Compared to the US (where I live now) people in Belgium still care a lot about what "the neighbors" think. That can be annoying, but there are

some advantages to that more close nit society.

Your time for wearing HH will come. I admit, I also don't do it among

my friends in Belgium when I visit them.

Good luck

Indeed I did study Latin for two years. Quite a difficult language.

'cj' stands for my two firstnames, 'veritas' functions as a sort of suffix (aft-addition). In short it means: "my truth, my words!" A message supporting the opinion that one person, individual can make a difference.

Latin is still custom for higher education, (european heritage!pffff), but fortunately no longer mandatory!

As for the HH-part: it's true that Belgium is a little more conservative than the US, but still quite progressive for such a small country! Belgium also has a dense population. Anyway, my time will come, I hope!

It seems like you are very close to going out on your own soon. I'd wait patiently since you really don't want to hurt the great relationship you have with your parents.

I did have a funny idea come through my mind. You might want to dress up like a punk rocker, with leather studded outfits, colored spike hair, and piercings all over your body. Then make an appearance in front of your mother. Tell her that it was either this or the high heels. :rofl:

Quite right!

Very funny suggestion but I'm afraid I'm not that type of person. My mother wouldn't buy that. Patience will be my virtue!

Hi cjveritas,

I think you are wise not to upset your parents, especially if you have such a good relation with them.

Sooner or later you will have a place of your own and you'll enjoy wearing your highheels even more as if you always have to watch out that nobody comes home too early. It's a thing worth waiting for, believe me! I was in a similar situation at that age. I had two pairs of 4" sandals at the time and I always worried that my mother would find them one day. The little time I could wear them wasn't worth the stress all year round. Although it nearly broke my heart, I got rid of them and waited till I moved to my own place to build up my collection of high heels.

But, once the time has come and you bring your first pairs of heels back to your own home, please do not hide them as a secret. DO wear them out in public with self-confidence, that's much more fun than only wearing them at home; concerning the "street-style"-pairs of course.

Have a lot of fun in your high-heeled future!

That's indeed the way I look at the situation. With my do-it-yourself projects I was always very stressed. 'Will she find my stuff or not?' In the end she did find it and the results of that were hardhitting. I really mean hard! I love my mother, don't want to hurt her feelings. She didn't get angry with me nor shouted, she nearly cried. Quite a clear signal!

So I did what the Beatles have always said: "Let I be!". Only my version is: "Let it be, for now!!"

Thanks for your time!

im not sure exactly how to put this so i hope it appears clear. But ive always wondered. We go on a trillion times of how we instantly look to womens shoes when we pass someone clicking down the street, looking hard in the shop windows etc, and it is a part of me that i do that its not something i can help.

ok.....

but what about say the guys who arent into our interests. Fair enough they may be more appealed to look at other assets of a woman before noticing any shoes. Fair enough they might not find heels as attractive in their minds as we addicts do because its obviously not a part of them in the same way. I understand all that.

But surely these guys must sometime watch a woman clicking in her high stilettos and think, what is it like to wear them shoes, what does it feel like etc.

Surely there would be some curiosity there somewhere as its not something that a normal guy would have access to from the lads shoe dept and therefore wouldnt get the chance to try. It cant be that other guys never think about it

i dunno.... what do you think?

just got me thinkin.....

daz

I do think al guys look at women's shoes. And indeed probably not all of us (men) take such an interest in what a kind of shoes a woman is wearing. They most likely concentrate on other female assets. It has everything to do with fetish.

Now, before you start objecting, hear me out. First, to break the taboo: we ALL HAVE A FETISH OR FETISHES MALE OR FEMALE.

Fetish doesn't necessarily mean sexual feeling about something (to keep it simple). I can know, had quite a few classes of psychology. Hobbies are often a fetish aswell.

e.g. I'm into audio-equipement I'm more likely to grow fond of a girl that likes or at least knows to appreciate what interests me in audio. Whether that appreciation is genuine is an other story. Now, all I wanted to demonstrate here is the fact that there are degrees to fetishism and that fetishism stands close to idiolising somebody or something. It is also unmistakle fact that these are the part of what makes life interesting. (ask yourself: where do I get my kick in life! and you'll soon know!)

The only real conclusion I've drawn is that just as there are degrees in men, there are degrees in their fetishes. Some have a bold fetish and as a consequence relate to pure pornography. Some take a more romantic fetish like highheels, worn by a woman who takes the effort of wearing HH to make herself more appealing, to heart.

PASSION, FETISH and INTEREST are very closely related to oneanother.

The mere fact that we seek people of the same train of thoughts and group on this forum to share them proves that we appreciate the finer things. On this forum you will find, with a near 90% certainty, people with a relatively more romantic perception of life. Which is, to my opinion, quite a healthy state of mind as opposed to sadistic or uninspired people who mostly have less appreciation for life and as a consequence of that the finer things of life.

But remember this is personal impression not a conviction!

I haven't worn highheels since,

http://www.hhplace.org/hhboard/viewtopic.php?t=2786

But eventough I was young when I last wore highheels, it was overly clear that wearing highheels for a long time without resting tends to make tou feet tired or sore.

Healthy or not, one conclusion can already be made: In order to avoid tired or sore feet, legs or knees, a varied wear of shoes is healtier. I don't believe that wearing highheels all time without end can even remotely be healhty. The mere fact of wearing flat shoes can't possibly be healhty.

I think it's like alcohol, wear with moderation and in this case also with variation.

You may doubt my judgement as I haven't worn highheels since I, well quite frankly, was a just kid. This is just a portion of good reason.

Well I;ve finaly told my mum about my wearing heels, and to my suprise she wasn't bothered by it either.

She looked at both the pairs I had and said the platforms worked better for me in her opinion so that was good.

I no longer need to worry about her finding out about it second or third hand now...'phew' I'm glad

I can only be happy for you, congratulations! I am sure it's a large bureden you're now freed of. I on the otherhand wasn't so lucky, my mom found out the hard way and wasn't to pleased, it also ended me wearing highheels. I am like under constant surveillance, so bad even she always knows exacly how much money I have in my wallet or on my savingsaccount. Terrible isn't it? Internet is my only link to this community of highheelsfans. My mother knows nothing of PC's nor internet.

My story: http://www.hhplace.org/hhboard/viewtopic.php?t=2786

Sad, sad song for me!