blackslide

My wife just turned 50 and claims she is too old to wear high heels. I wear the heels in this house.

Having been a track athelete in in high school and college, and a high school track coach for a few years after that, I know a little about running. A good runner lands and takes off on the ball of his foot. The heel never touches the ground. If the heel touches, the runner is getting real tired. Having my womens shoe thing in high school, I noticed my track shoes very much resembled a pair of women's high heels with the heels removed. (I even fantasized about putting track spikes on a pair of girls flats that were popular in the 60's. Of course they would come off right out of the starting blocks, but they would look cool.) The track shoes are made that way because it makes it easier for the runner to land on the ball of the foot. I have run in 3" spiked high heel shoes, not very far, but I have done it. It is not much different than track spikes. I still have trouble with down stairways. I have to hold onto the hand rail and take one stair at a time. I was very impressed with a recent movie where the gal wearing HH pumps ran down the stairway chasing after someone. It looked like she had her feet at an angle to the stairs, not straight down. It was pretty impressive to see. You won't see track athletes running down stairs with their spikes on. For those of you who did not experience the dark ages of track, tracks used to be made of coal cinders rolled flat, and the lanes marked with lime. Track shoes had 1/2" long replacable sharpened spikes that were threaded into sockets in the bottom of the shoe. With the new sythetic tracks, short spikes or rubber nubbins are what is used today. So if you have to catch a bus in high heels, run on the balls of your feet, keep your feet pointed in the direction of travel, keep your head tilted slightly forward, breath deeply, and move your arms forward in the direction of travel. You will look like a track star in heels.

Thanks to all of you who responded to my wife problem. We have been married 7 years and I showed her my closet and explained to her that I preferred women's shoes before we got married. Her response then was, I am marrying you, not your shoes. Two things I think are happening. She says my "problem" is getting worse since we have been married. That may seem so to her since I have been getting bolder, and I think people are more accepting of the unusual. The punk rockers have helped in that regard. Visiting this site has given me more confidence in wearing what I want and buying higher heel heights. She says she just wants me to be normal (I say to her define normal), and not be embarraseed when we go out. I told her that sounds like her problem, not mine. The second thing is our daughter was murdered 3 years ago and there is yet to be a conviction. September is the month all of this happened, and it all comes back her on that month. For those of you who said maybe the shoes are not the underlying issue, you may be right. The shoes are a convenient thing for her to criticize. I am cooling it. There are many low heel shoes I can wear, that do not upset her as much. I love her very much and want this marriage to work. I also can't change these feelings that I have had as long as I remember. It is a juggling act for me.

I think a calendar is a good idea. Why not take a grass roots approach. We could make a calendar using Micosoft Word. We did one for our yacht club that way. It can be downloaded at no cost to all of us on this forum and anyone else interested. The cost is minimal, it would give some exposure. It could be e-mailed to people like Regis and Kelly.

I shopped in heels today, but not in a high end store. It actually was our local NAPA auto parts store. I had on 3" wedge heel leather open toe sandals from Bass. I still have painted toenails from last summer, one red and one green. I went in to order some brake parts for my VW van. There were guys at the order counter, most mechanics in grubby clothes, some farm types, no women. I had not a single look or comment. My jeans break at the top of the heel, so the entire heel was in view. I was prepared for some stupid comments, but none came. That was the good news. Bad news from my wife. One night last week she threw all of my women's shoes on the bathroom floor and said to choose, either our marriage or the shoes. She went on to say how seeing the shoes on me made her sick. I quietly put the shoes back in their places and went to bed. She was having a bad day, and I thought I would let it ride. I ony have a coulple of pairs of men's outdated shoes (wing tips), but I can wear less obvious womens shoes. This really gets to me because what she is asking is for me not to be me anymore, and to pretend I feel comfortable in men's shoes. She did get over it, we are still married, but our relationship is not the same. There is some tension there. Any advice?

First, I am fortunate that I wear a size 9-1/2 - 11 women's size. I can usually find shoes in junk stores that fit. There is one store where I often find shoes that have never been worn, name brands, and I only buy leather shoes. The regular price for shoes is $1.00. The shoe stores around here have shoes for $5.00 to $6.00 on sale racks. The most I paid was for a pair of womens cowboy (cowgirl) boots at a western store was $80. They are all leather and look great.

2000 Chevy Silverado pickup, 4 wheel drive, stepside short box, tinted glass, metallic blue. My other car I drive is a 1973 Volvo P1800 ES which I bought with 5000 miles on it in 1974. Have 7 other cars in my collection in variuos states of restoration.

You have guts, my friend. Keep it up. You look great.

Ok, I was one of the first to express my dislike for flip-flops, but Wal Mart has some pretty cool ones on sale right now. My wife came home with a pink pair and a baby blue pair of flip flops. To her surprise when she tried them at home they lit up when she walked! I kidded her that she bought them in the little kids section because she has such little feet (5-1/2), but she insisted they were from the women's section. I had to check it out. I went to Wal Mart the next day and found a pair of blue and black in my size (10) that lit up when you walk. How cool is that? And they were on sale for $2. Now we can walk down the boat dock at night together to our boat lighting the way with our flip-flops as we go. In the non-sale section were some thong style sandals with a 1-1/2" spike heel in clear plastic. Inside you could see all the circuitry that made the heel light up when you walk. They come in pink or grey. I would have bought some but they were $18, and these are definately some that I would never wear out in public, but they would be fun. I bought some really thick soled flip flops to wear on our sailboat. They are black with a cool yellow graphic on the back of the 1-1/2 high soles, and a white laminated layer about 1/4" thick at mid sole height. The fronts are tapered under (like a scow front of a boat), and the back of the heel is radiused from the bottom to the rear surface. It makes a sleek looking platform. I can wear these anywhere without comment even here in redneck country, because flip flops are so generic, and except for the higher soles and heel, these look pretty generic. They are easy to kick off in the boat. I am wearing one red toenail and one green (starboard and port). This has been for the last 3 weeks without only a couple of friendly comments (such as pretty clever).

Shafted, Yes, they do have the marblized finish. Blackslide

Shafted I too bought those boots from Famous Brand Shoes last winter. I bought a pair of the same boots, plum color in size 10. The gal at the check-out was pretty cool. She said she had a pair in rasberry color, just like she was talking to one of her friends. She gave me a frequent buyer card, so you get a free pair after buying so many. The boots are comfortable, look great, feel great, but I have not worn them out yet due the redneck area I live in. Sometime when I travel, I will try them out in public.

I also add my thanks to those who put keep this board running and have brought it back to life. It would be a shame to lose it.

Hello to Jeff B. Sounds like you are in an envious position. How do men react to your shoe choices? Are they as receptive as women? I was surprised at shoe stores lately. When I bought a pair of very pointy and very stilletto heeled purple boots, I started a converstation with the sales gal. (Remember, this is cowboy country - pretty conservative) She told me she had a pair in red just like them and began telling me how comfortable they were to wear. Then she complimented my finger nails - just kept clean and about 1/8" long. I had complimented her on her toenails and sandals and wondered if she got cold wearing them in 30 degree temperature. The point of this is she seemed to treat me like "just one of the girls" or she did not think anything unusual about a guy buying stilletto heeled boots. Maybe we are making some progress!

Name: Tom Age: 56 + 363 days Gender: M Location: Wild, wild, west USA Occupation: Structural engineer Height: 6'-1" Weight: 210 lbs (what is it with stones?) Shoe size: 10 What's your favourite heel style: Sculptured heel from 20's era. What's your favourite shoe style: Watch the movie "Erin Brockovich", and see what Julia Robert's wore. What a turn-on!!! 4" slides and pumps. Do you wear your heels outside: Every day since 1966 What is: (a) Your favourite heel height: 3-1/2" ( Your highest heel height: 5" (That makes me 6' 6" tall- 2" less than door openings. - Great for changing light bulbs in ceiling lamps.) Do you know how many phsycotherapists it takes to change a light bulb? Only one but the bulb has to want to change. How often do you wear: (a) Your favourite heel height: Most every day - I usually alternate 2 - 3 pairs during the day. Right now wearing 4" pump with squared toe, almost stiletto heel. ( Your highest heel height: Once a month - I fall forward in them - but they look cool. Do you wear socks, hose, stockings or bare feet with your shoes: Almost always wear black trouser socks 95% of time but also wear suntan nylons with red flats and jeans, slouch socks with low shoes and pegged jeans, bare feet and sandals or slides from May to October. Anything else you wish to add: I still like my wingtips, and have kept them. I have two pair of men's cowboy boots, but the rest are woman's - over 300 pair. I have a historical collection of shoes in my size - 20's style, 50's saddles, lots of flats, Cherokee wedge sandals from the early 70's, many styles of boots - too many. Some are actual old shoes, most are modern versions of older styles. Fun stuff!

This was not meant as an attack - just a thought. My hat's off to Jeff. There is no way I could imagine getting out of my car wearing high heel pumps with nylons and walking into a public building to go to work. Guts. I have tried nylons and pumps, and while I like what I see on my feet, I don't think the world is ready to see a 6'1" 210 lb bald guy in his mid 50's wearing Ginger Roger's shoes. I would think nothing of wearing 3" chunky heeled black boots in the same situation. Must be where my head is at. Maybe it is because boots are something that women stole from men, and pumps have been in the womans domain for many years. I also live in the same town as the Marlboro man- gotta keep that in mind.

Jeff B, I hate to rain on your parade, but have you ever thought that your employer endures your high heel wearing to keep you in your place without giving you any other type of advancement, pay increase, or additional job responsibilities. Employers like employees who happily come to work everyday do their job and go home, and take what pay is given them. By wearing red shoes and being "just one of the girls", you may be sealing your fate to be that forever. The difference is that women wearing red shoes can advance in the company and interface with customers, travel, etc. You (or I ) being male wearing red shoes are somewhat of an embarrassment, and are kept in the back room where no one can see you as long as you put out the work. What an easy benefit - let him wear red shoes, then we don't have to offer him a paid vacation, insurance, advancement, more pay, (fill in the blank). Just a thought. I am self employed, and wear what shoes I want most days. When a client comes through the door, I hide my heels under my desk and slip into a pair of penny loafers. I think impressions go a long way in business. We at this site see high heel wearing as normal - I do. But to other people it is still pretty bizzare, and I am sure most people think the worst when they see a guy in women's shoes. When your are trying to sell something (yourself or a product), you can't let your attire detract from the business. Business is always selling. Even if you are clerk, you can be the best clerk in the company, and be "for sale" when a better job comes up. Best to dress the norm, boring as it is. Blackslide

This is a pair of boots found on sale last winter. The sales gal at the store knew they were for me, and she was very helpful. I did not try them on at the store.

The label says inside the boots are made of real leather and man-made leather. I think the red is the real leather. There are hearts cut out of the black leather and the red shows through on the outside of the boot shank. (With jeans no one sees it) Heel is 4" with a 3/4" platform. The are quite comfortable and easy to walk in. The sole has little hearts on it so you leave a heart track in the snow or on the sidewalk after you walk thru a puddle. The guys behind you see the hearts and think "Now there is a straight upstanding guy who is OK with who he is and open minded enough to wear women's boots" - yeah right!!

http://img.villagephotos.com/p/2005-2/951853/bootscomp.jpg to view the boots.

Responding to Bubba and Gene, I too have spent many hours wondering why it is I prefer women's shoes, and why just shoes? In my case, it took many years to come to the same place Bubba did when he was 15 and just accept it and move on. I think I am closer to that now, but the fact that I spend time at this site says that I am still thinking about my shoe wearing more than the guy next door who is probably watching football on TV. What is interesting about Gene's article is the idea that some chemical is the cause for these feelings. In my family, I like to wear women's shoes (since 3 or 4 years old), my brother had a sex change, and my sister was unable to have children. My mom lost 3 babies before she had me and lost several between the other siblings. She was taking some kind of drug that was common in the 40's and 50's ( I was born in 1948). She was contacted in the early 70's about after effects of taking the drug. I know the feelings I have I have no choice about, which conicides with something else Gene said, that whatever is wrong creates an inner conflict. I am a male genetically, but prefer female shoes. To resolve the inner conflict, I simply wear women's shoes, but then there is the external conflict that men in our society do not "normally" wear women's shoes or anything feminine for that matter. It ruins the football player, Rambo, Marlboro Man, Bruce Willis image that society has for "real men". Then comes all the assumed crap like "you must be gay", or whatever other stupid label people use. So one has a choice between resolving the inner conflict and accepting the outer one, or succombing to what society thinks is normal, and putting up with the inner conflict. I look at my side of the closet and see very dark, masculine colors of shoes, mostly black or shades of brown, with one or two red. The wife's side of the closet has pinks, whites, pastel colors and lots of flowery prints. She has almost no high heels, I have mostly high heels. Even though I have mostly high heels, my side of the closet still looks masculine. I have no desire to wear pink pumps, or white satin strappy sandals. I prefer the leather look. At a party, I would rather talk with the women than talk with the guys about boring football statistics. When the women's converasation comes around to child birth and babies, that is where I leave - no interest in that. I am caught in some space between the two sexes, and that may explain why I in business for myself in a one person office, and am quite content with it. All this tells me I have not resolved the inner conflict/external conflict dilema, but am caught somewhere in between. I would venture that most of us on this site are also caught somewhere in between or else we would not be talking about it, even Bubba. If males wearing female shoes were perfectly "normal", that is accepted by society in general, there would be no reason for this site.

It was so cold here the dogs were frozen to the fire hydrants.

Anita, Sorry to hear about your accident. Will keep you in our prayers, and look forward to your return and great posts on this site. Blackslide

To me the irony is interesting. Cowboy boots are a men's style picked up by women. I wear women's cowboy boots. A man wearing a women's version of a man's boot. I know it is wierd. Out west the gals wear some pretty neat boots. My favorite is the narrow 3 to 4" heels. I have a pair of Dexter's with a block 3" heel, that I wear here in Redneck country with little to no comment from the the Catapillar hat crowd. Many of the women's boots found in the western stores are almost indistinquishable from the men's styles. It seems the gals want to be more masculine looking.

I only wear flats when working around the house. A 2" heel seems the minmum to be stylish and 3" is better when shopping or going out. My wife is getting used to it. This site has given me more confidence.

I have a pair of very pointed toe boots with very chunky 3" heels. I wore them to a meeting the other night. One of my close friends who does not know about my shoes said I seemed taller. He said either he was getting shorter or I was wearing lifts in my shoes. Jokingly I said I was wearing lifts in my shoes, which he thought was absurd. It stopped there. The boots are masculine looking enough that I would have gladly showed them to him if he pressed it.

My first encounter buying women's shoes was when I was in high school in 1965. I wanted to match my girlfriends' penny loafers. ( It was OK with her.) I went to Dayton's in Minneapolis and the sales clerk who was a man refused to show them to me and directed me to the men's section - like it was immoral or something to buy women's shoes. I came back another day and bought the shoes from a different clerk but told him they were for my girlfriend. Another occasion, I went back and asked about a pair of natural leather loafers. The sales man took me in the back room to try them on so I would not be embarrassed in front of other customers. While back there he said he bought some for himself and liked them. That was back in 1965. Two years ago I was in Calgary at the mall and looked at some neat calf hight black 3" heel boots while my wife was having eye surgery. I asked the female clerk if I could try them on. I have decided on a policy of trying on boots since boots or shoes that do not fit or that are uncomfortable are a waste of money. I was wearing 3" heel platform boots at the time. She brought out the boots and helped me try them on. There were other women customers around but they did not seem to think anything of it. The clerk said to be sure and zip them up to make sure the upper part of the boot was large enough for my calf. She also brought out another pair of very high heeled platform boots similar to the ones I was wearing. I passed on those but bought the boots I tried on. I wore them for the rest of the trip. At my local department store, I have been in there so often, they are used to me buying shoes. This store has only a women's shoe department and it is tucked back in the womens part of the store. There is no hiding. One clerk in particular always asks if I want to try on something. I usually do now. My gutsy goal is to buy a pair of heeled pumps and ask to wear them out of the store. I have not done that yet. It helps ease the tension to make some comment like "I bet you don't get many guys buying this kind of shoes here?" You would be surprised at the anwers I get. One male clerk said it was quite common for guys to buy Canadian made womens boots in low heels. I dated a gal while living in St. Louis who worked in a large department store. I met her while shopping for a shirt. I was walking out and noticed a sweater that had neat colors in the women's department where she was standing. She was not busy so we struck up a conversation. I was a little uneasy because I was wearing some 3" heeled loafers that looked very feminine. Not a great way to pick up a woman wearing women's shoes. (I was single at the time and on the prowl.) I found out months later that she noticed them but thought they were some western style, since I was dressed in western garb. She also told me she liked to help men try on dresses and other womens clothing. It makes her day more interesting, and she was understanding that not everyone fits the norm. She knew that by being understanding and compassionate to these guys who were buying womens clothing, she could add to her customer base. She had a minimum sales quota per month and was paid extra for anything above the minimum. She was very understanding of my shoes and we spent many fun weekends exploring shoe stores together, as she like shoes too. We were twins in some styles we bought. As far as advice, you will get some redneck guy who makes a smart ass comment. Best come back later if a guy like that is in the store. Generally the clerks are very understanding if you are up front with them -and this is in redneck country!

My first encounter buying women's shoes was when I was in high school in 1965. I wanted to match my girlfriends' penny loafers. ( It was OK with her.) I went to Dayton's in Minneapolis and the sales clerk who was a man refused to show them to me and directed me to the men's section - like it was immoral or something to buy women's shoes. I came back another day and bought the shoes from a different clerk but told him they were for my girlfriend. Another occasion, I went back and asked about a pair of natural leather loafers. The sales man took me in the back room to try them on so I would not be embarrassed in front of other customers. While back there he said he bought some for himself and liked them. That was back in 1965. Two years ago I was in Calgary at the mall and looked at some neat calf hight black 3" heel boots while my wife was having eye surgery. I asked the female clerk if I could try them on. I have decided on a policy of trying on boots since boots or shoes that do not fit or that are uncomfortable are a waste of money. I was wearing 3" heel platform boots at the time. She brought out the boots and helped me try them on. There were other women customers around but they did not seem to think anything of it. The clerk said to be sure and zip them up to make sure the upper part of the boot was large enough for my calf. She also brought out another pair of very high heeled platform boots similar to the ones I was wearing. I passed on those but bought the boots I tried on. I wore them for the rest of the trip. At my local department store, I have been in there so often, they are used to me buying shoes. This store has only a women's shoe department and it is tucked back in the womens part of the store. There is no hiding. One clerk in particular always asks if I want to try on something. I usually do now. My gutsy goal is to buy a pair of heeled pumps and ask to wear them out of the store. I have not done that yet. It helps ease the tension to make some comment like "I bet you don't get many guys buying this kind of shoes here?" You would be surprised at the anwers I get. One male clerk said it was quite common for guys to buy Canadian made womens boots in low heels. I dated a gal while living in St. Louis who worked in a large department store. I met her while shopping for a shirt. I was walking out and noticed a sweater that had neat colors in the women's department where she was standing. She was not busy so we struck up a conversation. I was a little uneasy because I was wearing some 3" heeled loafers that looked very feminine. Not a great way to pick up a woman wearing women's shoes. (I was single at the time and on the prowl.) I found out months later that she noticed them but thought they were some western style, since I was dressed in western garb. She also told me she liked to help men try on dresses and other womens clothing. It makes her day more interesting, and she was understanding that not everyone fits the norm. She knew that by being understanding and compassionate to these guys who were buying womens clothing, she could add to her customer base. She had a minimum sales quota per month and was paid extra for anything above the minimum. She was very understanding of my shoes and we spent many fun weekends exploring shoe stores together, as she like shoes too. We were twins in some styles we bought. As far as advice, you will get some redneck guy who makes a smart ass comment. Best come back later if a guy like that is in the store. Generally the clerks are very understanding if you are up front with them -and this is in redneck country!