zathrus69

Every few months we have another conversation about it, she does now allow me to wear "womens shoes" (but only hers) for 1/2 hour at a time every few weeks, so we have compromised slightly there. She is trying to understand, but just holds onto the view that shoes will lead to skirts will lead to a sex change

I know the feeling Shyguy. Ever since my wife found out about my interest we have had the same conversation over and over again, roughly every 2-3 months. She too believed that I wanted to become a woman - she can't get her head round the idea that a man would want to wear stiletto's and yet still be a man. It's not her fault and I don't blame her or hate her for thinking the way she does. It just gets a bit tedious answering the same questions over and over again.

As regards the subject under discussion. Telling your partner about your interest is infinitely better than her finding out by accident. It hurts more when you find things out, rather than being told about it. Agreed, you will always run the risk of losing your partner but if you keep things a secret you run a greater risk of being found out.

It would appear that some of the guys on this forum have been lucky, they found their partners to be supportive of the interest and actively encourage them. However, there is always the opposite end of the spectrum Me - I'm in the middle. She found out, she got upset, she nearly left me but she stayed. She doesn't approve but she accepts that it is a part of me she can't change. Who can say what would have happened if I told her 13 years ago when we met.

Zathrus

Yes - I mean "nearly did". My tale happened around a year ago. My wife and I were invited to a posh wedding and she got herself a gold frock in the sales. She wanted some HH gold shoes to go with it but, for various reasons, we couldn't find any that she liked. The next week I was sitting in a pub at lunchtime with some work colleagues and a stunning blonde walked out into the beer garden. I noticed her shoes right away - gold sandals with a very small platform and at least a 4.5" heel. An insane thought came over me - I would ask her where she got her shoes as they were exactly the style my wife was looking for. Unfortunately, two seconds after having this thought, her meathead bf/husband came out carrying the drinks. Six foot plus, grade 1 haircut. Bollocks, I thought and left the pub. Following a 3 minute meeting at the office I was sitting at my desk and I thought to myself - you know, perhaps if I ask him to ask her, giving him the full SP on why I'm asking, I might be OK. So, insanity took hold and I went back to the pub. She was still in the beer garden and he was nowhere to be seen. My chance had come. I started to walk over to where she was sitting, planning the whole thing out in my head (wife needs shoes, can't find them, you have shoes she'd like, etc, etc), when raised voices from inside the pub caught my attention. Her s.o. was at the bar arguing with the manager - something to do with the food. I looked at him (6 foot+, blood vessels close to bursting in his head), looked at me (5 foot 7 and an easy bruiser), took one last look at the shoes, sniffed and walked away. I must have been crazy to even think about asking him and I'm real glad I didn't go there. Anyone else nearly done a crazy thing but thought better of it in the end? Zathrus

I'd definately have given her more than a single glance, so you're not alone. Strange that an item of clothing can alter our perception of what is attractive and what is not. It can't overcome everything though, as Xaphod pointed out. Still - good for her, she probably knew she'd attract more attention by wearing the boots. Zathrus

My wife belongs to the female fraternity who's motto is "the right shoes for the right occasion". Sadly the "right" occasion for anything higher than 2" is usually down to one thing - walking distance. If anything more than 100 metres is planned then the heels go back in the cupboard :-( She once berated me for making her walk round Covent Garden in 4" heels, looking for a place to sit and get a drink. Anyone who knows Covent Garden will know that it ain't exactly an olympic venue! Having said that - she doesn't look uncomfortable in them and has a nice walking style. Compared to the number of women I see tottering around as if they needed a safety net under them, she is the epitomy of grace. Still, every now and again she forgets the frat motto and wears her 4" boots while shopping. Then she wonders why I'm always ten paces behind her Zathrus

Did you get those Barratts shoes recently? They look similar to a style I was trying to get hold of last year. If they're back in the shops now then I'll be a happy bunny :-) Zathrus

With or without the internet I have always been fascinated by high heels and worn them whenever I could. What the net has allowed me to do is find that I am not alone - which has made me feel a lot better about myself. I was also surprised to find that there are some women out there who are also OK with a guy wearing heels, something I did not expect. If none of this existed I guess I would still be ogling at high-heel wearers in the street, going into shoe shops, buying and wearing shoes for myself, etc. but all the time feeling really bad about myself. So, no change externally, just unhappier internally. Zathrus

Perhaps...After thinking a bit about the subject, I'm a man who his fetish are high heels and pantyhose. For a while, I was thinking to purchase and try a skirt? I'm not a crossdresser, I am a man who wears men clothes, but I'm attracted to try a skirt.

Depending on who you talk to, merely wearing the shoes makes you a cross-dresser in their eyes :-(. I don't know where the line is drawn that makes a man a cross-dresser/transvestite, is it underwear (in which case Mr Beckham would qualify!) or is it outerwear (blouse, skirt, dress)?

I actually bought a skirt and pair of tights at the same time as I bought my first pair of heels - it seemed the obvious thing to do. Over time I bought bra's, knickers, tops, more skirts, a coat, a handbag, jewellry, a wig and then makeup. All because I wanted to go out wearing heels and I felt the only way to do this was to look like a woman.

I went out dressed three times and all were nightmarish trips (my neighbour spotted me the second time, as I reversed out of my drive straight into the full beam of his headlights as he was pulling into his!). In the end it all ended up in the dumpster and I'm glad in a way. I tried it and didn't enjoy it.

I still wear skirts, tops and underwear to enhance the high heel wearing but I don't ever want to try to look like a woman again because (from what I've learnt here) it is perfectly OK for me to wear heels in public and still be dressed as a man (well, OK in the eyes of the people on this forum at least!).

Have fun shopping for the skirt. I spent nearly an hour on Monday in New Look thumbing thro' their Discounted racks. Got some funny looks from the security guard though but I think this was because he thought I was going to do a runner

Zathrus

I agree with Onyourtoes - forbidden fruit tastes good... If highheels were a men's item as well (it was centuries ago before women's) it wouldn't probably excite us so much.

I have been wondering this week what the world would be like if women wore high heels by default and flat shoes were worn only by a small minority. It would probably mean that this forum would be called the "flat shoe meeting place" and we'd be getting all excited about the latest flip-flop from "La Piazza" and wondering if we dare step out in a pair of womens sandals with a 0.1cm heel

Most fetishes are about a fixation on something out of the ordinary. If we make the extraordinary ordinary then the fetish changes accordingly. There is some wiring in my brain that says "high heels good, flat shoes bad" because the world I live in now is dominated by flat shoes (heels come and go but they never become the default daytime wear for a large percentage of women). If I were born into a different world, where women wore heels constantly, day and night, that wiring would probably be "flat shoes good, high heels bad".

Just another Zathrus 2p moment :-)

If she agreed to return to wearing high heels in the bedroom, could you control your urge about looking at other women?

Not in a million years

But it's a nice thought.

Zathrus

My wife and kids have been away this week (visiting family), which has allowed me to indulge in some serious heel wearing for the first time in about six months. This has led me to doing some thinking about my fascination and feelings for high heels. It all boils down to "why?".

Q: Why do I like heels so much? A: God knows.

Having tottered around in my new 5" pumps since 9am this morning I have come to the conclusion that I must be some kind of sadist or something. I'd forgotten how much it hurt to wear anything above 4" as it's been quite a few years since I last had a pair. I do like the feeling of wearing them though but I can't be sure that I'm wearing them as a turn-on, I just like wearing them, period.

Now, on the fairer sex they are a turn-on, but the fascination can be a pain. For example, my wife sometimes catches me glancing at other women and 9 times out of 10 it's the shoes I'm looking at. But when she is wearing her heels out I can't ever get to ogle at them, not unless I walk ten paces behind her, which isn't exactly romantic. Walking along staring at the ground in front of her feet makes me a very dangerous pedestrian as well So we walk along hand in hand, sit next to or opposite each other and pretty much all the time her heels are hidden from my view. Only in the bedroom did I get a good look at her heels and I've lost that avenue of fun (see: http://www.hhplace.org/hhboard/viewtopic.php?t=1803 for why).

So, why do I like heels so much? God knows. When worn by me they bring pain (in the foot department). When worn by a woman I see in the street they bring pain (in the head department via a slap round the 'ed from the missus ) and when worn by my wife they being pain (in the neck department, 'cos it's a pain the neck I can't get to look at them when she's wearing them)

Yep - I must be a sadist after all :-)

Zathrus

Further to my report I went shopping today (Manchester) and I have some late breaking news....

Looks like the "J-Lo" boot is well out of fashion now in the UK. All the shops had them in the Sale section! To be honest, I don't think I've ever seen anyone wearing them....apart from Ms Lopez herself of course. Also, the dreaded flatties were everywhere. Only the business types seemed to be wearing heels, everyone else was in trainers or flat sandals :-(

The shops were chock full of heels though, mostly 2-3" pumps but some higher sandals and ankle boots. Still no pumps or sandals with anything approaching 5" on general sale and I think heels are definately on the way down, judging by the general height of what was out there.

Still, Schuh had some nice heels (as always) and Morgan had some really nice knee-length boots with 4.5" heels but they cost and arm and a leg. I ended up buying these in my local Jef Bains.

http://www.thehighestheel.com/showcase/ProductDetail.asp?div=PUMPS&dpt=&ctg=&PROD_CD=BRAZIL

JB seems to be the only shop round here that sells 5" heels but never seen anyone wearing them around town. I have them on now and they're very comfy.

TTFN

Zathrus

I can't remember what actually triggered my fascination with high heels (hit 40 this year so my brain cells aren't what they used to be!) but the earliest recollection I have is trying on my mums wedge shoes and then modifying them to make them taller with some suitably cut wood and a bit of sellotape. I must have been around 12-13 at the time. To this day I don't really know whether she realised I was wearing her shoes when she was out at work but some things she said to me when I was much older makes we think she did (like "Have you ever wanted to be a girl?" - hmmm). Zathrus

How much are you willing to spend on your shoes?

Not as much as I would like to :-( Realistically I can't spend more than £40 at the moment - which may make things a little tricky.

I just fancied looking at some higher heeled shoes - even if, in the end, I can't afford them. I think I'll bob down to Jef Bains early tomorrow and look at their 5" collection before zooming off to Manchester for a bit of shopping. Who knows, I might find something interesting in the market in the Arndale Centre :-)

Cheers for tip on LTSB. I might give them a ring when I get back from M'cer if I haven't found anything I like.

Zathrus

My favourite HH bit from a movie is Cheryl Ladd in Millennium (1989). She plays a time-traveller sent back to the 80's to recover something left behind from a previous "jump" (great paperback, crap film!). To try to look authentic 80's she wears what look like 6" court shoes!! It's been a long time since I last saw it but I remember thinking "phwooar" at the time so they must have been pretty high :-) The shoes were in scene for quite a while, she even drove a Ferrari in them! Sadly the next time she went back in the film she was wearing more sensible shoes :-( Hmmm - I wonder if Amazon stock a DVD of that film? Zathrus

Moving up to Northern England we go live to our Emmy award winning (in your dreams mate! - Ed.) reporter Zathrus Nurfbingler.... Percentage of girls (if any!) wearing high heels. Pretty high (the percentage that is, not the heels!). Mostly nightime wear though - flat sandals seem to de-rigeur this summer, during the day at least. Nighttime is great for the high heel affectionado (sp?) - lots of courts (3-4") and 4" sandals around. Whether these are stilettos or chunky, platform or plain. Thank god that chunky seems to have died away now, to be replaced by colourful court shoes (pink, yellow, etc) and strappy sandals. Still see the odd girl wearing chunkies though but not as many as 2-3 years ago. Not my favourite shoe type to be honest. Maximum heel height seen (ie any GREAT sightings) No great sightings recently but I think I spied someone wearing what looked like very high court shoes (possibly 5"?) but it was a long way off and it may have been wishful thinking :-) Max height still seems to be the 4 to 4.5" area. Whether thought to be on the increase or decrease. For me the shops in Liverpool seem to be the barometer of female shoe fashion. When ankle boots started coming out in 4" heel heights the fashionable women of Liverpool were wearing them long before I started to see them being sold or worn around where I live. On a recent visit I was shocked to find the shops and markets chock full of very flat Far Eastern style comfy shoes (with upturned toes that stretch flat when they are put on - a bit like ballet shoes...but not the ones we like!). If these are the "next big thing" for the UK then we heel fanciers are in for a pretty rum time by next summer. So things may be on the slide downwards heel wise but lets hope not. Whether usually worn with jeans etc. or skirts. Short skirts are in - usually combat or jean style. Lots of combat style trousers as well. Business attire still seems to be the flared long black trouser. Any other interestings facts (guys in heels? for instance). Nope - I think I have gone on enough :-) Any photos to illustrate the report. No, sorry. Still saving up for a digital camera :-) Zathrus

I usually play the "these are for my wife" card if I'm asked but mostly no-one seems to care that I am a bloke buying womens shoes. I am lucky in that I have quite small feet (UK Size 7) and they aren't too wide either, so I have never had to try shoes on before buying. So far I have not bought a pair that didn't fit OK when I got home. I really wouldn't have the guts to try shoes on in a shop so I admire the guys on this forum who do. The only exception to this was when I bought a pair of 6" stillies from a TV shop. They insisted I try them on first and even though they were designed for men they were the tightest fitting shoes I ever bought - go figure! Zathrus

Thanks for the tips guys. I think I'll go and buy myself some "blockies" tomorrow and maybe try them out. Who knows - I may just pluck up enough courage to do it :-) Cheers, Zathrus

Guys, I'm looking for recommendations for where to go and what not to wear the first time going out in heels. I can't figure out whether it is best to go somewhere busy (so that people are less likely to be looking around but there will be more people who could spot my heels) or somewhere quiet (fewer people but when its quiet people tend to look around more - I know I do!). I would probably die if I was spotted and made fun of, I'm pretty insecure at the best of times. So I'd like to minimise the risk but where? Busy shopping centre or quiet town? Any recommendations? As for what to wear. I'd like to go out in my 4" stiletto boots but the click, click sound is a bit of a giveaway Any recommended shoe types and heel types that are harder to spot than others under jeans or combats? Thanks for any help you can provide. Cheers, Zathrus

Folks, I'm getting bored with my 4" heels and I'm looking to get a pair of 5" or 6" 'ers but I'd rather not buy them over the Net as I can't afford to wait for them to come in the post. Does anyone know of any good HH stockists in and around the Manchester area? I know a lot of the named stores do a good range of 4" maybe 4.5" shoes (e.g. Schuh, River Island) but I haven't been able to find a shop selling anything higher....well, apart from Jef Baines just down the road in Stoke. However, that's a little too close to home for me to chance not being spotted by someone who knows me, so I'd like to go further afield for my shopping trip. BTW: Liverpool or Birmingham aren't out of the question either...I'm prepared to put in some mileage if the shop is worth it :-) Failing this - can anyone recommend any UK based Net retailers who can deliver within 2-3 days. Most say up to 14 days but I can't wait that long. Yeh, I know, I'm like a bad doctor - no patients Thanks, Zathrus

It's better than waiting years then telling her after she finds out

I couldn't agree more. It's really painful to see the woman you love virtually destroyed apon finding out your little secret. It would be fair to say that things haven't been the same since she found me out but we are still together. I wish I had a time machine though. I'd go back and put things right at the start.....but then she might not have continued to go out with me...hmmmm....probably best if I destroy that Flux Capacitor I was building in the shed :-)

Zathrus

I just want to say thanks to everyone for their kind words. I didn't realise my post would create such an interesting discussion on the male/female dichotomy (my word for the day!) and I agree with all the various comments. Julietta is right in saying that my wife used to feel special whilst wearing her bedroom shoes and now she thinks "well, he'd rather be wearing them", which puts her off big time. She is not correct in this assumption and we have talked at length about this but I can't change the fundamental truth that she finds the thought of me wearing heels repulsive. I think Guest summarised it best - be honest, with both yourself and any future partner. Because I broke her trust she has pondered such unthinkables as "he wants to be a woman", "he must be gay" and "he'll want to dress as a woman in front of me". Fortunately none of these fears were justified and she understands this now. Thanks again for your kind words everyone - I feel truly welcome Zathrus

Hi there! I've been lurking around on this site for a while now and now is the time to say hello. I've been into heels for as long as I can remember (and I turned 40 this year, so that is a very long time ). Up till three years ago things were pretty great. I had a fantastic collection of heels and my wife was happy to, now and again, put on a pair of "bedroom" shoes I bought her (7" platforms - very sexy). It had taken me some 12 years to pluck up the courage to admit to her that I was turned on by women wearing heels and I was pleased that she responded positively and asked me to go buy her a pair. But (and it's a big one) I hadn't actually admitted to her my enjoyment of wearing heels myself. Then we moved house. Six months later I still hadn't gotten around to finding somewhere to hide my collection and, yep you can pretty much guess what happened, she was hunting around in the garage for something and she opened up "Pandora's Box". It pretty much destroyed her. I admitted that I was a TV and that I only wore the shoes (and skirts, sussies, etc) when she was out of town but she couldn't understand where I was coming from. Anyway, our marriage survived (just) and three years down the line we are still together and very much in love. However, she no longer wants to wear her bedroom shoes as she associates them with me wearing high heels, which is a massive turn-off for her. She sort of accepts why I wore heels but it's not something she wants to be involved in - which is fair enough. It's just a shame it's made her feel different about wearing heels in the bedroom. On the other hand she does wear heels out and about (as and when appropriate) as she likes to be fashionable (and heels are very much in fashion in the UK at the moment) and she always makes sure I am with her to help her choose (which is nice!). My regrets are many-fold (I could write a book on the subject) but the biggest one is that I should have been honest with her from the start. In 30 seconds I destroyed 12 years of trust and I can never put that right. I think I've probably bored you lot to death now so I'll shut up. I'm glad I've found some people who share the same interest as I do and I'll try and be a regular poster (I've got a few questions but I'll save those for another time). Thank you for your time. Zathrus