b2please

b2please,

You are spending lots of time sending shoes back when I think you should try a new approach. I want you to simply try shoes on IN-PERSON while you're shopping for them.

HappyinHeels:wavey:

Thanks for thinking of me, happy in heels.

Hmmmmm,

Maybe you are correct. I'm trying to warm up to your suggestion.

Some random thoughts:

Shouldn't I mainly do what will be enjoyable? Don't we do this for enjoyment?

I'm fairly new at this public part, and going at my own pace.

As a daring newbie trying to confidently go where i want to go/ do what i want to do, I've felt myself sweating and blushing in a couple situations ( my first couple outings) and gotten beyond that. But trying shoes on I might just feel and look miserably uncomfortable if I did it today.

I see your logic, but where does real confidence come from? I'm not sure I can simply will it just yet.

I'll think about this as a goal though, and think about how to get there. It might just take time and taking small steps?

By getting out doing chores in 4" heels and walking what seemed like a mile, the next time I tried 5" indoor it was much better than ever. I think I made progress perfecting a smooth, relaxed, "workable" walk in the 4", which translated to 5" too. I'm almost worried whether 5" may become non-interesting at some point. Will it become too easy? Maybe the key is enjoying the process, every day. No need to be in any hurry.

Definition??

I'm sort of a newbie too, but I'd say street heeling is " venturing out into public places wearing heels that are higher than "normal".

I'm starting to realize I'd like to play my small role of changing what normal is! Or, I like to defend the rights and benefits of being non normal;)

On exhibitionism:

for me, I think I'm a "shy exhibitionist", slowly gaining courage to live anyway I see fit.

No 2" heels?

Sorry about that. I should have put it in there.

Stillettos?!!

Whoooo: in the lead? I'm shocked.... You folks are gutsy out on the street! I like that.

Im a n00bie here and need to ask : What is ' street heeling '? Is there some kind of objective or is it just going out as normal but with heeled footware?

Interesting thread. I believe my wife feels VERY secure that I really find her exciting and attractive after all these years- in fact possibly more excited than ever. So her feeling secure, and having lots of real experience to prove that I'm vey attracted to her, is a great foundation. Second, I love to people watch, and since I'm into heels now, I look at heels all the time! I suspect she may find this more normal behavior than me wanting to wear them out! so why would she give me a hard time for looking at interesting and attractive heels on others? I guess I could imagine someone being jealous, but it's not her style. Finally, if I'm really fascinated, I'll say, "Did you see THOSE heels?" And she'll casually look around, "Oh, the woman in black?" and we might comment a bit more about what caught my attention. My wife isn't the heels type, but she's recently been exploring higher and more sexy shoes, as my interest and admiration of heels has grown. But she's 90% 1.5" heels or less. She wore some amazing 4" ones at a party, and found them somewhat uncomfortable "those are for parties only" she concluded.

That's really fascinating! I wonder how many women would have that fun reaction? How do we spot women that will be so supportive? Sounds like great fun, and I hope you get to enjoy it often. My wife is supportive and open minded, but also a bit skeptical and "non-encouraging" in some ways. I think she thinks it's fine, but let's not get carried away. (I'm guessing what she's thinking at this point).

Great responses so far! over 50 in the poll. That's great- keep it coming.

It's interesting to see how much VARIETY we enjoy as a group. I suspect partly because we have different interests/ personalities, and partly because we are at different stages too.

Just a few of the choices seem less popular in total, for street heeling adventures:

* Peep toes (although- maybe thats also because peep toe shoes may not fit manly feet?),

* 6" heels: (My 4" heels seem too easy inside, but are more noticeable challenge on a 40 min. shopping trip); I can do 5" inside, but out? not yet.

* Sandals: My first try at sandals, a pair of Naturalizer arrived yesterday, and I'm afraid I'll have to send them back. 12W was not wide enough, and I need a strap at the heel. They don't make 13 or 13W. And I was trying to buy the "most teva like" sandal toe I could find, to possibly wear outside, with at-least a 3" heel. Still looking for that one.

I'm new to street heeling but went on my 5th adventure or so last night- 40 min shopping in a giant walmart in a pretty rural area. It was late at night, in 4" wedges, semi pointy toe, covered by long boot jeans. I never know so far if people notice them, but a couple people might have. It was a lot of walking! (fun)

Chris- those would probably qualify as stilletos for me! Nice!

When I street heel it's usually in a pair of my New Rock Malicias (like in my avatar). The heel doesn't quite qualify as a stiletto, but it feels ..........

I have been out in block heels but I prefer the Malicias, they're more fun.

Please check all that apply. I'm wondering how many of us enjoy various street heeling aspects. Please only check if you have done them, enjoy them, and will probably do again. Thanks!

Try not to give up. It took me a while to find a pair that fit, but once I did, I love them. You might check Naturalizer, I have a pair of 12W from them that are very wearable.

Jeff

Thanks Jeff! Just ordered a cooler summer sandle wedge from naturalizer- tallest heel from them I could find. (with 20% off coupon I found by googling). Hope 12w from them may fit! Ordered a wedge sandle that might just be wearable out.

Pretty much the easiest of all my shoes and boots, they're only 3½" heels, and the mile walk was really comfortable.

That must've been quite a buzz, did you get any reactions or were you as invisible as I was? Those DSW Audrey Brooke boots look like a good choice for first-time heeling. They look really quiet, how come yours were so noisy? Mine are as quiet as trainers/sneakers which is almost too quiet. I'll stick with them for now - I'd love to build up to trying my ankle boots ( http://www.hhplace.org/attachments/everybody/12169d1299728320-boot_photo_shoot-black_ankle_boots.jpg ) with black jeans, but it seems like a big step to go from wedge heels to non-wedges.

Today I went out for 30 min shopping in a 4" heel boot from Avenue that is my quietest. I stopped by a local thrift store last weekend and found some great jeans with wide bottoms and they just touch the ground in my boots. so now I can more confidently explore various heels outside. The audrey brooke wedge boots are very snug, and somehow the way I walk in them is noisier- maybe the way the front taps down loudly on a non carpeted floor. Probably just need practice. These outings are SO much better fun & practice than walking around the house!

I think it would be great to be encouraged to go out in heels with my wife. I hope that happens to me. I guess an exception could be if he feels more cautious than he thinks you are about it, then he may be hesitant. Like if he just feels up to a short outing at a certain location, but you want to keep stopping more places?

I said I would wear them a lot, but it's really hard to know. Like, would Everybody be wearing them? I like to be a little different than whatever everyone is doing. Would it be mostly corporate types? Or renegades? Or hippy types? Would we be stereotyped due to what types of men are wearing them most. I think we are lucky Now that it is too rare and unusual to really mean anything yet- which gives us a lot of freedom. I must take advantage of the current lack of labels and few assumed meanings!

So many pretty shoes everywhere that will not fit my feet. I am more tuned-in to shoes this Spring than ever before!! Stopped by a mall and Apple store today but seeing all the SHOES is the most exciting. (on people and in stores). OH it is HARD when no one seems to have your large size! (womens 13) Am I stuck with Pleaser & some Avenue? I'm sending 3 pairs pairs of shoes back this week. I was hoping some size 12's would work, but I was sure they could not even be stretched to fit. One going back to Zappos is a man's Cuban Heel. Not quite tall enough to be fun wearing, and the nose was so pointy it looked very feminine, so just didn't fit what I'm looking for. Not tall enough feeling, but very conspicuous in the front with long jeans.

My experience seems different than most. I looked for a wife that would be totally equal to me in the relationship. (perhaps many / most of us do?). But to me, that mean that I DISCOUNTED the cultural norm of women in high, impractical heels. I was more looking for a woman that would go on exciting adventures with me, and be fascinating to talk to, etc. (I'm not saying this makes sense- I just didn't see my and my partners adventurous & practical and "liberated" selves fitting with high heels.) And I had not progressed to even IMAGINING myself in high heels. I didn't know I had an interest in that, or why I might, and didn't give myself permission to even imagine it. I wasn't turning away from something that tempted me. In fact, I worked for a shoe company for a very short time and was amazed why others enjoyed browsing at the endless stream of designer shoe catalogs and magazines and studying the trends. I just didn't get it- yet. But I did pursue other offbeat and fetish interests that were more ingrained in me, and those were very rewarding and fruitful. Anyway, now that I have realized how exciting it can be to feel and wear high heels, I LOVE them, and my wife is getting more into them as well. So a relatively late blooming interest that we both can share and explore!

Let me know if you want to meet!

I've been curiously intrigued by any posts on pony boots, and I'm always amazed and turned away by the high costs. And I've never done pony play as such. I've also been impressed by littleblue's progress: so fast progressing to higher heels. So I got inspired to experiment with my leather Pleaser 1020 Seduce boots and see if a pair could be easily converted into pony boots. These LEATHER 1020s are very fun & comfortable. (5" heel measured in back) Those are the highest I can walk well indoors (Not ready to walk far & confidently outside however). Goals: * See if fun to wear. * See how difficult to walk * See if dangerous tipping (with smaller area to balance on) * See if sensation & noise made it seem more pony like. * See if making your own is really impractical / impossible. Results: I had fun clopping around the house doing chores (when I could concentrate) for 4 hours! But I kept thinking of reasons to walk around and enjoy them To me, a GREAT success! FUN! Challenging, but safe & doable. Noise is VERY clip clop horsey. Not dangerous: Very stable side to side & easy to take small steps. NOT tippy sideways or forward, but sometimes need to step backwards to keep balance (as they can tip backwards if you lean back slightly). Even this "clopping" step backwards seemed horse like. Took 70 min to quickly sketch out/ modify/ cut & sand and until I was wearing them (without spray paint yet.) My first pony boots came out at 7" effective heel. It was doable, fun and my calves are sore today!! I was determined to see if I had some scrap plywood that would fit my pony boot experiment. I imagined I could cut one piece more hoof looking to fasten to the boot bottom, and cut another piece (just part of a 2x4 to a "ground contact" wedge, making the heel effectively higher. I looked at Punitive shoes for an idea where the back of the hoof should be (farther forward than the heel on a normal shoe. but if the balance point is too far forward it would make the wearer tip backwards.) So, 4 pieces of wood to cut (2 pairs) and I'd try attaching everything with strong double sided foam tape I have. In the pics, the light colored area on top didn't get painted as it was under the stuck-on boot & masking tape. This first experiment doesn't much LOOK like pony boots! Picture 5 is the most instructive. But I think they did a great job of ACTING like fantastic, comfortable pony boots, at the maximum heel height I could handle. The double sided tape did hold for hours, but was NOISY as parts stuck/ unstuck every step. But the hooves never got loose. I put wide blue 3M masking tape on the shoe (easy to remove, but strong for purposes like these!) Next time I'll put hot melt or epoxy blue between the shoe's blue tape & the hoof. I think play foam or something could be used to overhaul the outside shape & looks in a fast easy way & light weight. Picture 5 is the most instructive.

I said no, because I felt it could get old really fast. Retail work is Hard! But I'd love it for one day, especially if I could focus on helping the most interesting customers.

Wow calf boots are a minority! I think they are really nice. Good support and nice boot look without competing to take over your pants leg. Just ordered my first sandals though (summers coming!)

I like lace ups boots! Are they comfortable? I wish our profiles showed shoe size in case we want one (most shoes don't come in my size:(

Where oh where is our provocative Annie? Writing a report on us? Dumping that sweet, adventurous guy (surely Not!) Did we scare her off? Or did she forgot to check her post?

I'm experimenting with heels, stilletos and a rubber wedge boot. I dont have a sound preference indoors. Out, it depends: Sometimes, probably ussually, I'd like quiet. Sometimes, I'm up for the challenge & thrill of more sound. (it does make me self conscious-) if no one is near me, say in parking lot- I'll walk fast. Then in a quiet store, I walk slower and try to minimize the sound without walking conspicuously slow. Kind of a weird challenge but it can be interesting. Quietest is a heeled boot. Then wedge boot Then heeled bootie with heel resonates Then stilletos are noisiest and haven't worn them out, but there're my current favorite at home.

There are some great answers here already, so I'll try something a bit different. I will try to be blunt and to the point. My goal is only to help, and hope I might be on the right track. I'll guess what you are really most intersted in figuring out: Some wise posters are already guessing that you or a close friend have met a "seemingly great guy" that has some "unusual intersts". ps I'm typing fast and there will by typos. Well, I think it's really good you are learning about them as soon as you can, so YOU can decide how important they are, and if you can embrace this guy, accept him, embrace him, and see the good & fun sides of ALL that he likes. You didn't ask if you can change or ignore this part of him. I'd say NO and NO. Please don't count on those paths. Most intense things you might be wondering: Is he gay or partly gay? Probably not if he is romantically interested in you. DOes he want to be a woman: probably not, that is an intense type of transgender situation that does also exist though. Do high heeled shoes on him make you a lesbian. Not to me, but I hope you can find at least mild gender play interesting and fun. Well, SHOES are an independent issue to those most provocative questions! Many Gays love shoes, and us hetero guys that are here do TOO! HIgh Heeled shoes that seem very feminine are NOT going to tell you that! Don't use it as an indicator! Does this mean he'll eventually realize he's gay? I don't think the shoes are a helpful indicator. Definition of crossdresser/ or importance of crossdressing: I guess I have a different definition and I suspect my shoe interests make me a crossdresser to some in some ways. My def: "Likes to wear some clothes normally associated with stereotypes of the other gender." But I also warn against many pitfalls of thinking about 2 opposite genders= that's really simplistic & causes problems in our culture. There are infinite combinations. And I don't use the term crossdresser myself, and it is a charged term! Do use the term if it turns you both on and it works for you two! Does it mean if he's dressed he fantacizes about men? AGAIN, shoes are NOT a reliable indicator. I'm sure there are plenty of guys that go either way on this question. Many (most I think) only about women. ASK him and get to know each other! Does he want to be a woman, or does he feel like he is a woman? There are infinite variations of folks that have some cross gender interests, strenghts, expressions, feelings. And these are all infinate RANGES, and largely or often INDEPENDENT. There are all kinds of crazy combinations. You have to talk to and earn the trust and you develop your trust in him to learn more . (I hope you didn't just meet him last night, did you? We are spending a lot of typing trying to help you!) Haha You must explore with this one guy to learn where he is!! Only he is himself, and may mainly like to SUPPORT/ identify with positive, loved feminine qualities sometimes. Does it mean he wants YOU to have the same feminine tastes? Don't think so. I mostly want different styles han my wife. I have to be a MAN, so I like exaggurated females styles for me the most. I like outdoorsy adventurous brave women who are smart & sexy females. (that's me) But wearing the SAME shoe would be exciting too. I like an equal partnership!

I'm not so sure.........

Maybe that's what's been motivating me to wear my heels more publicly recently. For me as a guy, wearing heels is an expression of the aspiration to value femininity equally as a society and not just define success in masculine terms... and perhaps a sucessful woman wears her heels to express the same aspirations?

Thanks for all the interesting suggestions.

I know when I was dating I really wanted a woman who wanted to be a "totally equal" partner in the relationship in all respects. I think I found that, and it's worked well for decades. I suspect there are many types of successful relationships, but luckily I was drawn to a model that is working well for me.

I think another thing that motivates me to be more open about my attraction to heels is to help society learn and change their strict " right way and wrong way" views of many gender preferences and stereotypes. If we can start respecting the wide variety of personality and gender types for the ways they can enrich our society we will be better off.

I think I've got some interest in "gender unusual" dressing also because I disagree with society's harsh definitions of what should be male & what should be female. I suspect these may be limiting the expression and contributions of a significant portion of people.

And, I also find it really FUN in indescribable ways!

Interesting question. For me, I would NOT want to stop. I find it a fascinating adventure and part of my life journey that I am most excited about experimenting with, coming to terms with, manage it wisely- not taking crazy risks (hurting family relationships, etc.) but not missing opportunities either. Questions like this cause my brain to try to come up with all the possible causes I can. I guess someone might want to quit doing something they feel compelled or very interested in doing if: a. They really felt "logically" it has more disadvantages in their lives than advantages, but they still have trouble stopping. b. If it's clearly a damaging habit/ addiction (alcohol, & many other addictions I guess) c. If they love it, but it periodically causes great pain in their lives. d. If they really think it is WRONG somehow. Morally, culturally, means they are weird, etc. I have recently read a lot about the MANY gender expectations & pressures in our culture today (at least in most of USA). I am coming to think there are infinite combinations many different dimensions of gender. There is more variety among men & women than difference BETWEEN men & women on many dimensions, so our M or F frameworks in life can cause a lot of trouble. Actually, I read a couple fascinating books on transgender issues (party to get more insight into myself, since I think I'm a little more feminine than the average guy in certain ways. FASCINATING BOOKS! Anyway, I concluded that if wearing heels satisfies me like it does, I am VERY lucky that I have such a mild & relatively socially acceptable and easy to manage issue!! There are many that have bigger gender desires/ longings, and there is nothing wrong with any of them, but they are likely to face certain obstacles & heartaches in our society. Can't we just appreciate the fascinating variety of strengths & preferences that are naturally occurring all around us? e. Maybe also if their heart & mind are not together regarding heels: > If someone felt, Logically it's fine that I love heels, but I just don't feel right, so want to stop. or, > Logically it seems a bad idea, but my emotions and feelings thrive when I wear heels. It's so disconcerting I wish I could stop. f. If they are uncomfortable being "different". I find that being "differentiated" is very good in life. You can find a unique job, unique life, and find your own unique path if you are DIFFERENT than others. The alternative, being too normal, might be like being a commodity product. Who cares, you are just like everybody else!

I've been learning a lot here on the forum about typical spouse reactions, and it's fun seeing examples of the couples that BOTH have fun with this, and what MIGHT develop, if I'm lucky. Sooo, sometimes I have trouble appreciating what I have. If I ask for too much too fast it might backfire. I'll try to explain where I am, and get your suggestions. * We've been together for MANY years and she's quite open minded, but if I have a new adventurous interest, it can take TIME for her to appreciate it. * With heels, I bought a chunky heel oxford, maybe 2"plus heel (after seeking her advice on choices) about a year ago? or 1 1/2? "for playing with indoors- my wildest imagination at the time). At first they seemed like an impossible thrill! (I first thought- I will never be able to walk normally in these- but they are fascinating!) Now, they are easy! (they were my training wheels, and I'm hooked) * She tolerates my interest in feminine stuff, but mainly wants her manly man. * My favorite to wear at home is a 5" spiked leather Pleaser bootie, which actually fits perfectly. Not the look I want, but the FEEL is great. Seemed impossible at first, now I'm walking pretty confidently (in the house). She saw it and said "It's going to take me a while to get used to that", which I viewed as very honest, and measured comment- not really insulting! and trying to be open minded. Since then I avoid letting her see me in that one. I don't think she is comfortable with me in stilletos, or maybe just not outside. * I've just started venturing out for short adventures in 3.5 women's block heel & 4" wedge boots, wearing longish jeans. I told her I had this objective a couple weeks before I started, and she even had a suggestion where I should go to see if I really enjoyed it ( a Walmart a bit away from the house where friends are unlikely to be). I told her it would be most fun to go together, and she didn't comment on that (and she is quite busy lately!) * Now I'm getting more comfortable that this is not even something that needs to be kept secret!! It's a fun style statement. (I'm trying to believe this 100%) * Yesterday she asked if I'd go mail something she'd been meaning to mail, "and wear your heeled boots". So she actually is trying to support my interest! * After I expressed interest in outdoor heeling, I nudged her into stopping at a DSW we were walking by. Her shoes are typically Super Practical; not much of a heel person. (First she said she didn't feel like shopping) and she got into it and bought 3 pairs of wonderful heels for herself at 3 heights (very practical, very good for a party, and "on the tall side"), and she kept asking me to take one pair off and help put on the next pair, which was a combination of fun, embarrassing, etc. She's already worn the 2 lower heels to work & parties. She did not comment on ANY of the shoes being interesting for me, and I was having fun and didn't bring that up, but she must know I'm thinking about that. Any suggestions how to successfully pursue my interest in going heeling together? What fun trips might be fun for both of us? What baby steps would I be wise to pursue?

I'm sort of combining two questions here, and I'm sure there must be other threads about this but I couldn't figure out how to search the entire guys forum. 1. WHERE are your favorite spots to look for 12W or 13 womens heels? I'm seeing SO many cool styles, urban outfitters, Kohls, Macy's where they normally only cary to 10, and maybe add 11 as a PLUS size. So 12W seems rare and 13 rarer. I did buy a 12n boot at DSW and tried the "freezing water in zip lock bag" trick to stretch it, and it worked! I'd say 1/2 size increase. But some water leaked and caused one boot's inner side to get these wrinkle marks (during the drying phase). This leads into my other question. 2. If I wear a 12W or 13, how small do people go and expect to stretch out the boot to fit? Would you only go smaller if you try it on and it fits ok, or is very very close? Or will you buy one size down routinely and do some stretching stuff? Or is buying down a really bad idea, as it will never really fit right?