Chaosheels

So me and my wife had the house to ourselves for a couple of hours today, and I approached her about letting me wear my heels. It went really good I offered to let her have a rest while I cleaned the house and I got to wear my heels at the same time!!! I didn't push the subject and waited till her mood was good thanks for the advice again guys been a good day so far today

Chaosheels

Some pics lol

18 hours ago, HappyinHeels said:

Pumped,

Funny guy! You've been watching too much "Fargo" don't ya know. It's November and we've had snow on the ground for half the month already which is rare so early in the season. Looks like I'll get that extra firewood after all I'll throw an extra log on the fire in hopes Chaosheels throws some extra periods in his sentences. Chaosheels will not need any firewood but sandals he might as Australia is already heating up. HappyinHeels

Sandals or thongs lol, you might know them as flip flops a couple of nice pairs maybe some open toe heels haha. And yes it is warming up alot but yesterday and today bloody rain and cold again for the next week they reckon

14 hours ago, pebblesf said:

Good for you buddy, retirement seems far off for me, even though I have several years on you.   Wish I had been smarter with money when I was younger, oh well.  

Well said indeed, we all want to understand and be supportive, and clear communication is surely helpful.  I can surely relate to Chaos' situation, I am doing my best to deal with my strained relationship with someone I love dearly....

Hope your situation gets better would hate to lose the ones we love 

I'm still in my prime but I'd be happy as long as my family is with me and we were secure

2 hours ago, Pumped said:

Iwouldntmindalittlepuncuationeither!

At least I put spaces lol not gonna go that far

1 hour ago, HappyinHeels said:

A little humour, and punctuation, go a long way in getting through life's daily travails as well as helping the reader understand exactly what the writer is saying. If we were all professors of writing I doubt we would have wound up here. Anyone who reviews my first post (17 Nov at 1130) will see the focus was on his communication with his wife...which needs no punctuation. That communication, which is a product of organization, is the key. I am 57 and retired earlier this year. Many say I'm the youngest retiree they know. I had a plan and stuck to it. I have been married for 33 years because effective communication was the foundation of that marriage. I know the difference between knowledge, intelligence, and wisdom. Our new member, Chaosheels, joined our community looking for help and interaction and I believe we are facilitating that help and interaction. I will continue to do so with humour and punctuation. I just like it better that way. We're here for you buddy! You can message me anytime, I think I understand you better than you may think. HappyinHeels

Hey thanks again sorry about my punctuation the last of my worries is a few full stops lol 

On 11/19/2018 at 11:44 AM, pebblesf said:

Welcome, and thanks for sharing this issue, and trusting us...

Sounds like you did everything right in terms of being open and honest with your wife at the beginning of your relationship.  The wife is obviously feeling insecure now for some reason, and this is understandable.   She has been honest about her fears, which is also good.  I'm just wondering what has changed since years ago when the wife accepted your love of heels, sounds like she enjoyed it as well.  Do you think she liked the way you looked in fem gear back then?

First, please know that trying to ignore your desires will be very difficult, and will probably lead to frustration, causing more harm to your relationship.  Do everything you can to reassure the wife you are all man, still find her attractive, but enjoy wearing some women's gear.  I would consider speaking with a therapist, then bringing the wife along. 

Needless to say, we are not there, don't know either of you, so will be very careful with advice.  Perhaps it would be helpful if the wife looked through this website, so she can see how many guys love wearing some fem gear, but still love being with women, and are happily married.  To be honest, I think most men have fantasized about slipping into a pair of heels, they just don't have the courage to admit it. 

Please stay in touch, this is surely a delicate situation that must be handled carefully....Don

Thank you for your words but I'm a therapist might have the opposite effect she does have her fears and we still are honest with each other I think she did like it to begin with she would help me dress and do my make up and nails and would sit up all night talking and telling each other stuff and have alot of fun but over the years it slowly changed and since the kids have come along its completely changed and I understand but she doesn't even want a bar of it when we are alone anymore and gets a bit mad when she sees me in heels and stuff now and I do get quiet frustrated maybe a therapist would be goodbut even when we don't see eye to eye we work it out by the end of the day which is one thing I love the most about her we don't hold on to our anger and try to work through it and I'm hoping with the kids starting school that things might change again.

Thanks for hearing me out...... Chaosheels

On 11/19/2018 at 12:39 PM, maninpumps said:

Being a high heel lover and crossdresser myself with two children ...well young adults . When my wife and I were dating ,long before we were engaged I asked her the same questions you did . When the children were born we tried to put the heels and dresses up for the time being and just let things "ride" . Well it was bound to happen my daughter asked her mommy why she had size 12 and size 8 high heels and my wife simply told her "Daddy sometimes likes to dress up and be pretty to" and left it at that . Fast forward to the middle and high school years she only asks if I have seen some of the new styles out or tells me I would look good in a top or dress she sees . She has gone with her mother and I shoe shopping and we have had great times with it . She has also told me I look silly in some of my older heels . When it's just jeans and heels she has no problem with it . My point is this children learn from their role models (mom & dad) if you both make a big deal of it then to them it will be . Be straight with them , do you honestly think they won't figure it out ? Children miss nothing and will find them . The best  a parent can do is teach understanding and tolerance . They will figure out the rest .  

Me and my wife do our best not to argue or talk about it in front of her and I did put it away when she was born all stuff stays in my wardrobe I put them on when I'm home alone and got the time to do so and of she does find out I'm sure we will deal with it when it comes I just hope it's as smooth as it was with you sounds like you have an amazing partner hope we can get to the same lol

Thanks for the help

On 11/19/2018 at 2:21 PM, Cali said:

Welcome to site Chaosheels. Here's some punctuation marks for you to use anytime:

..........................      ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,

 

Cool just chuck them in when ever u feel like it and thanks for the welcome

On 11/19/2018 at 2:27 PM, Steve63130 said:

These posts are all good advice, and I can only tell you my own experience and what worked for me. In the late 1970s I disclosed to my wife (married since 1974) that I liked wearing heels. She was fine with it, in private, but didn't want to see me in heels; what I did on my own was my business. Over the next 20 years I pushed the envelope ever so slowly, and made sure she was secure in knowing that I loved her, I didn't want to change gender, and didn't have any proclivity to being homosexual (nothing against gays, neither of us is, even though we have friends who are). It's all about security. As she realized that I had a passion for women's heels (and ballet flats, by the way), she realized it was just shoes and if it made me happy, then fine. In the past few years, I've even pushed to wear heels in public and she is okay with that, too. A secure woman can make your life easier, too. Make sure she's secure, and push the envelope very slowly. Baby steps will eventually get you where you want to be, and it will bring the two of you closer in your life's journey together if you take the right approach. Above all, communicate and get to know each other better. Compromise where you can. Good luck!

And please DO use punctuation. We want to read what you write, but if we have to strain to interpret all those run-on sentences, few of us will bother. 

Steve

Thanks Steve I'll try to use more punctuation lol sorry I'll will take it slow and I know she likes it. it's good coz we both have the same size foot so the heels I buy people think are hers and she shows them to her friends and family. but I think in time she won't care as less so we will see what happens over time.

16 hours ago, maninpumps said:

What's next a proper punctuation test ? Come on folks, get over it . This is about high heels and fashion , not everyone can be a professor of writing ..............  

THANK YOU geez someone who doesn't care I'd read a post Wether good punctuation or not and wouldn't complain about it lol it's a couple of dots and commers 

16 hours ago, Shyheels said:

No one's asking for professorial standard of writing, but if the guy wants to have people read his posts then remembering to start a sentence with a capital letter and end it with a full-stop (period) is not really too much to ask. Endless run-on sentences, unpunctuated, all in lower case, especially in a long post, become confusing  and make one not want to read or comment.  

I'm not writing a novel I'm asking for advice sorry if I sound rude but please get over it..................

Thanks everyone for the wonderful advice and sharing your experiences I'll work on it keep you updated whenever I can and yeah I'll even try to punctuate but I'm sorry in advance if I don't XD

4 hours ago, Jkrenzer said:

Not really very high from toe to heel, platforms are thick. Chaoheels,  you mention in another post about your wife's attitude has changed. You may want to test the water with some less fetish styles, try single soled pumps with moderate 4 inch heels. Classier heels may help quell her issues.

I hear what you mean I've even tried to get her to help me shop to find pairs we both like but having the time to do so lol dealing with problems and stuff like I have a few pairs of other boots too lower and more dress sensitive I'll approach her when I can get her in a good mood XD lol a good foot rub and what not haha

40 minutes ago, jeremy1986 said:

Hi @Chaosheels - firstly, welcome.

I totally hear you... I think that's the fear many spouses have, of many of us THINK our spouses will have... 

I think you need to make an effort to communicate. be sure to pick the time and place carefully and check your wife's mood. pamper her - make sure she knows you love her and would not leave her. It might take a few discussions, but if its important to you, don't give up, but just don't pressure her, take it very slow and easy! 

Thank you for the advice and I'll give it a go she does like being pampered lol 

9 hours ago, SF said:

Not really my style, plus the heels are way to high for me...  But as we all know "beauty" is in the eye of the beholder.  Have fun...   sf

They are extremely high lol but the red ones have a nice thick heel and are surprisingly comfortable and easier to walk in I've had a bit of practice with the others too so yeah :)

There not really for wearing more indoors and stuff but thanks 

On 11/6/2018 at 9:23 AM, blueparrot said:

I had a pretty understanding boss who thought my boots were "cool".  A few months ago the owner of the company hired an HR lady.  Before the book keeper did the duty.  This new lady is a heel queen with 5 to 6 inch stilettos she wears almost every day.  When the real hot weather subsided I started wearing my knee and over the knee block heel boots.  I wore them last season with no issue brought up.  One day I wore in my new (off ebay) Sam Edelman Rylan OTK boots in deep red.  These have a nice 4" heel and look quite stylish with black skinny pants tucked in.  The HR lady made a big deal about them, even threatening to pull them off me and put them on.  She started making a big deal over my boots for weeks.  When I tried to ignore here she got mad and I started getting called in to the boss over things I supposedly said to coworkers.  I know she was the source of this.  Last Friday I got called in to a meeting with my boss and her.  They told me I was being fired for my conduct, something I can't understand as I have not had any issues and have been getting positive feedback on my work.  She started yelling at me when I tried to leave.  I told them to send my check and she flipped out.  She accused me of poor attendance which is a total lie.  Some how she got it in for me and I can only suspect it was jealously over my boots. 

I am actually glad to get out of there as there are many job openings in the Dallas area right now.  I think the next one I will only wear ankle boots under pants and not chance such a reaction again. 

 

Haha that's funny she was obviously jelly lol good on you for the confidence and don't let anyone tell you can't wear to work unless it crosses the line of course good job and good luck!

Collection of heels and boots I own so far

Haha sorry about the punctuation never have been good at it I do reassure eventide we talk about it but I feel we get nowhere and I'd like that to change but I don't know how

Hi everybody I am a high heel lover from Australia and was wondering if anyone had any advice to get my wife to accept me in high heels!

I was very honest with my wife since the start of our relationship we have been together 10 years now and I told her I love high heels and cross-dressing which she accepted and she would help with my fetishes ( let me wear heels and dress up and all that lol) but since we have had children and been married it seems to have changed we have had alot of long conversation over the years and she has had fears that I wanted to be a woman and she would lose me and I have told her I probly would have wanted to be a woman but since having kids that isn't important anymore I have had a few internal revelations and I don't want to change my body but I still feel the need to express what's inside and trying to ignore it is making it worse I find myself every chance I get alone slipping on some heels while she is at the shops or out with our daughter I don't know how to get her to allow some time for this and it is frustrating I love my wife and family very much and would comprise anything for them as I have done already I just need to wear heels sometimes it used to be a [SOMETHING ELSE] but now it's alot more she doesn't like seeing me in anything feminine anymore and I don't know what to do maybe it is time to put all that away but it is hard any help would be appreciated

Hey peeps I'm from Australia too kinda nice knowing I'm not the only guy who loves to wear heels and boots I have 4 pairs in my collection 2 I got last week and 2 pairs my wife bought me a year ago the top 2 are new the next ones are the ones my wife bought I only wish I could convince her to let me walk around in them (kids, family etc.)