HHeeler

The simple answer is because most mainstream men's clothing over time has become largely gender neutral for many of the reasons touched on here. But not all men's clothes are so. When one sees a woman in a clearly male suit, tie, shoes and pants, for example, it stands out as a statement of fashion boldness, if still falling short of radical. But it gets notice and sets the brain at work as to the motivation behind it.

A couple of different thoughts here: By our nature we (humans) strive to form connections and belong to communities. These communities often include our jobs, our friends, our families, neighborhoods, towns, etc. Not all communities are equal. And not all communities are equal in the acceptance or tolerance of what they view as falling outside the "norm". For some here, falling outside of the acceptance of these communities would be devastating. Because as intolerant as these communities may be on certain issues, they still provide great benefit to the individual. It is just another case of the world as it is v. the world as it should be. All that said, Foxyheels alludes to a point I've long thought about. Inventing oneself as opposed to redefining oneself. I sincerely feel, particularly in this day and age, that if someone is initially just known and integrated into social and other circles as a person of "eccentric dress style" or the "guy who wears heels" it would not be that much of an issue. People who are of the mind to be unable to deal with it, would self select themselves out of the equation from the onset, and you would be left with people who just know, and accept, you as that person. I speak broadly here and I speculate: redefining yourself, suddenly showing up as the guy in heels, is trickier. Relationship have already been established. Things seen as fundamental changes (even if they are not truly so) can change the nature of these relationships, and cause friends/family/co-workers to be off balance. And, as I stated above, in some less open minded places, communal pressures can arise.

I think JeffB's term "streamline" hit it on the head. I feel the aesthetic - the graceful tapered lines that dominate the design, are betrayed by a chunky or block style heel.

Men in heels. In fairness, I would imagine guys come from many different psychological and fashion directions to get here. Fetish is certainly one of them, although to paint all the men here with a fetish is probably wrong. Certainly not a fetish site.

Reading threads going back a number of years recently, the word I wish I got a nickel every time it appeared is a version of the word "confidence". Usually used a coaxing manner to get someone to just throw on their heels and go about life. And they note, rightly I might add, that with a healthy dose of confidence many things, and looks, can be pulled off. There are many who seem view this advice with some skepticism. Their internal calculation weighs the desire to wear heels as they wish, vs. the real/perceived consequences of these actions. And for some, relationships, jobs, community standing would be negatively impacted over such a simple thing as slipping on a pair of the "wrong" shoes. There are others who, while having nothing tangible at stake, still see the pressures of societal norms to be enough to shatter this confidence. My question is one of how people feel these things should be weighted? Does the need to wear heels outweigh these other factors? Should it? Should people be made to understand? Or is it just footwear and not worth the waves it potentially creates?

I hope that's a real pic. I think that's a fantastic look. For me its not just about heels, but heels and legs. It's why I have a preference for skirts.

No chance of a flame war. Done here. My opinion is clearly stated above, and I've grown bored with the direction of the conversation.

I don't know you. I wouldn't assume to know anything about the way you think, narrow minded, shallow or otherwise. Enlighten me.

I see my love of mile long run on sentences has confused my point. Not a problem: women who have a personal preference ("personal preference" being the operative term here) for a partner who does not wears heels, Problem: if is not just a personal preference but a closed minded/shallow world view, and is just one of many that woman holds.

Another thought: Everyone has their likes and dislikes and what makes the opposite/same sex attractive. If a man in heels falls outside of those parameters for a girl and her ability to be attracted to a man, so be it. It is not inherently a problem with the woman, but a preference. And most of the world is, or at one point was, seeking out the perfect mate built upon these preferences, So - I don't begrudge them not being attracted to something that falls out of the "norm." If, however, it goes beyond just a preference in a partner or a look and is a warning sign of a more narrow minded view of the world at large, or a superficial shallowness based on appearance alone, then it would give me pause, and is now clearly the woman's problem.

My wife (before I lost her) and I used to know Maya 11+ years ago. Took a girl friend there once since. But, I am under the impression that she didn't have a store any more. Is that true or is she still there?

Yes and no.

She's moved to a new location close by: across the street and west a bit (between Cherokee and Hudson). I'm not certain of all the details, but there was a dispute with a partner or something similar. Apparently, whatever was going on also caused her to lose control of the domain name she was using and MayaShoes is no longer hers, so she created MayaShoesUsa. I find the new physical store to be better - primarily because it is more organized, unlike her old place which was a bit chaotic. But it is also in a much higher traffic area, closer to all the tourist attractions, which is good for her business, but less so for those of us who are a bit self conscious about trying on heels. For me, specifically, this means standing outside for three or four minutes and taking a deep breath before diving in.

There are also two other places very close by right on the eastern corner of the same block (can't remember the names) which sell plenty of heels in the larger sizes (as with Maya's, larger sizes right in the window). I've browsed them, but both shop owners are male, and despite being located on Hollywood Blvd. - meaning they've seen everything and then some - I find it far easier buying from women then men.

I have. But not at a typical suburban shoe store. Those familiar with Los Angeles, where I live, may know Hollywood Blvd. It is an interesting mix of "out there" clothing stores and costume shops. A place where, for example, an exotic dancer could find all her clothing needs or one can find any type of costume before Halloween. It is also has a fairly lively representation of a city at large - so it is not unusual to see transgendered of all styles, along with the usual smattering of punks, Goths, homeless, gays, rappers, con men, foreign tourists and, of course, people in superhero costumes. ... and more than one of the shoe stores here have size 13 and 14 (women's) heels proudly displayed in the shop window, So they know their customers - no ill at ease sales clerks. For a while, I was regularly buying my heels at "Maya's". I would generally buy 3 or 4 pair at a time, as I didn't know when my next time being able to do so would be. I remember one occasion I was trying on a pair of black, strappy, 5 1/4 inch open toe sandals without a platform, and saw three guys and one girl watching from the shop window. I always wore hose underneath my pants when shoe shopping, so it was not just a guy trying on heels, but very high ones, sandals no less, with coffee colored hose. I have an odd relationship with the public seeing me in heels. I half don't want to be noticed, but am energized by the taboo of it when I am. It emboldens me. So still wearing the heels, I picked up two of pair I had already decided on, walked to the front of the store and placed them on the counter - which is adjacent to the window - so the lookie-loos could get a nice hard look now that they are two feet away, before going back to continue shopping and trying on shoes.

Pricey. Many of these shoes in those sizes can be found for much less elsewhere.

Years ago my college psychology professor stood before the class and with the over dramatic flourish of magician prior to performing a trick said, "Picture a behavior, any behavior, no matter how strange** it may seem to you," after pausing a bit he then finished with "and somewhere, someone is very attracted to that behavior." So, sure, there are women who like guys in heels. There are women who prefer men in heels. And some here a lucky enough to be with them. But is this the "norm" for most women and it is something that could be generally accepted over time? I'm not so sure. Much of it has been touched here on prior to my jumping in, but I'll say the hurdles are: - Territorial. Some women want the objects that they see as making them special to remain that way. Not to be shared across gender lines. While many other things have been co-opted over time (earrings), heels have stood fast. In part because they are one of the most powerful symbols of femininity. - Aesthetics. Most men can't pull it off. Body types in some cases, and the design of our clothes don't lend themselves to the look. - Gender Roles. The genders are different. What attracts some women to men are those differences. Some women take comfort in the differences, particularly those borne of "manliness". Anything that dilutes that is undesirable, and those traits that are "broadcast" to the world at large (like heel wearing), even less so. Inability to Shake Environment. Environment, the way we are raised, is a powerful thing. And with some women asking them to put aside years of understanding what is "normal" is asking a lot. ** As a heel wearer, I'm clearly not saying heel wearing is strange. Making a point.

Stylish height.

Related. But barely. Does speak to movie "magic" and heels though. In the film Iron Man 2 Gwyneth Paltrow is wearing fairy tall stilettos through out. There is a scene where she walks down the stairs of his lab and turns to walk across screen to go speak face to face with Robert Downey, Jr. There are tables and equipment which are blocking the bottom half of her legs, except one tiny gap where you can see they switched her into flats.

Easily? Six. Extended periods of time? 5 1/2. Had a chance this weekend to put it to the test.

At work certainly, but mildly. Largely because I work in a "business dress" environment (suits and ties, skirts/slacks and heels) where I see them all day long. The rest of my day much less so or not at all. The exception is when I know I will have an opportunity to dive into my collection, which is infrequent and sporadic at best [insert the usual hurdles to regular wear for men here]. Then it moves from occupying the back of my mind to the front in a quite consuming manner.

Interesting discussion. When I think of the term "men's heels", I don't fall far from what the vast majority of people would think, or for that matter what the marketer's intent probably is: a clearly male shoe that differs by, perhaps, having a touch more flair and a somewhat higher heel. It is a shoe, I would imagine, worn primarily for its height advantages and/or its nod to being somewhere near the line of cutting edge. All that said, anyone who has been tracking heels for a good while, say long time shoppers or watchers of eBay, for example, will note that there is a large, and growing, collection of heels in very large sizes. 13 - 16 (womens) for example (and as a side note, more fashionable and designer styles are also slowly appearing in these sizes over the past decade or so). And, based on anecdotal eBay watching and bidding from someone who hit the site every day for eons, they are selling fast. Sure, the increase in the height of some women may account for some of those sales. But just as likely the manufacturers recognize there is a male audience who snaps these up. So, while I would never call these very large size stilletos, as an example, "men's heels", I would certainly say they were manufactured with men in mind.

To amend a bit -I have owned as many as 140 or 150 pair of heels at one time. But, alas, no longer

But to answer the question no, I don't feel disconnected. Just a little disappointed that she can't share in my interest.

To amend a bit -I have owned as many as 140 or 150 pair of heels at one time. But, alas, no longer

Male shoes - about 12 pair. Heels - around 50.

When I have done limited public heeling - and for those who haven't run across my introductory thread, it's been "male on top" w/ skirts, and often as not, hose - my outward demeanor (or my attempted demeanor) in these cases is no different than if I were walking around in shorts and tennis shoes. That said, being in my mid forties I was able to do so a good number of years back knowing I would never be captured on film. And if, by chance I were to be captured on film, not made into public viewing, no matter how small the audience. Because for me, and a few here I am seeing, not caring about strangers is one thing, but caring what friends and family think is different all together. And I imagine for some, friends and family acceptance may fall short of picture on a website. But I haven't yet answered my own question. Will it effect me? Yes. But since I have decided to enter the arena of public heeling, however cautiously, the camera phone thing has given me .... pause. Another mental hurdle to clear - of many certainly - but not an impenetrable barrier.

New guy, so pardon if this poll been done, but I haven't seen it. With everything being captured on phones and ending up in places like YouTube and Facebook, does that enter your mind during your heel outings, or have any effect at all?

I've been here as a guest for a few weeks, taking time to read the threads going back a number of years, actually, to get a feel for what the vibe and viewpoint of this site is.

I'm mid forties, married, kids, mortgage, the works. Live in Los Angeles. A life of running and soccer have kept me and my legs in decent enough shape. Currently own about in the neighborhood of 50 pairs of heels. Over a life time I've owned maybe, 150, many which succumbed to the Great Purge of 2006. I own all types, you name it, I've own/owned it, with favorite types really depending upon my mood. For a limited number of hours I can comfortably navigate 6 inch heels stilettos with no platform and can likely run in 5 inch if needed, but never saw the need.

Where I seem to differ slightly from the frequent posters I am reading is I am a full heels, short skirt and hose type (no crossdressing desires whatsoever, although I've done "comedy/Halloween" drag to get in some public heeling).

The Mrs. knew, maybe knows, but doesn't approve and the issue has gone silent for a number of years. But, again, heels are one thing, the whole bottom half femmed out is another entirely. Add into the equation that I work for a highly conservative, public, business and the Mrs. owns (something like, for the sake of illustration, but not actually) a day care center where we are both known in our community and a whiff of the unusual would create massive financial hits for both of us, and the whole public skirt/heeling thing becomes tricky.

I've done it, nevertheless, on occasion in super limited safe out of town, circumstance. I've been told I have decent gams, and I enjoy the confusion/shock created by that. I enjoy the attention as much as I dislike it. Knowing myself, however, the sheer act of joining this board, and the slowly increasing desire, tells me that I'm coming onto another public outing soon.

Long winded? Yeah, I can do that from time to time. Any way, thanks for the welcome.