sohoboot

I've decided that I'm slowly going to work him into it without telling him just to see if he notices... As far as he knows, I wear white nikes everywhere... so, the last couple times we've gone out, I've switched to a pair of black (mens) work boots. After he gets used to seeing the black, I'm going to switch to a more masculine looking female boot to see if he notices. I figure chances are that he'll at most see the black and just figure it's my work boots again. From there I'll switch to the ones I wear around other people that know and see how long it takes from him to realize it. The shopping trip I mentioned with my one friend above got delayed... we're now supposed to go tomorrow. Since she's known though, she's already managed to get me to buy a pair of the same boots she wore over and had me try on. I've also broken it to a couple of my other friends in the mean time... a couple had a hard time grasping the reasoning behind my doing it so to make it easier, I told them they're more comfortable, help my posture (and thus my back), etc. Despite being in the middle of a really conservative area, nobody has had a problem with it yet.

He's got a few gay tendencies that a lot of us that are close to him have noticed... I think he might actually be bi even though I've only known him to date women... perhaps he's just trying to defend his masculinity and that's why he felt the need to say that. I've heard him make similar comments about other things (namely, piercings) and when I confronted him on it, he'll tell me I'm an exception. I dunno... On the S front, her and I talked again tonight. She wants us to hang out wedensday and specifically mentioned that "maybe we should go shopping." Will report back and let everyone know how that goes.

So... S came over the other night to finish writing her research paper... she purposely wore her new pair of boots and after she finished, she had me try them on as payment for helping with the paper. We still haven't set a date to go shopping yet. After going to visit A, I've decided I'm sick of her games and that I need to break things off. Which opens possibilities for S, especially since we've joked a little about dating. On the not so good side, my best friend and I were out on Halloween and I saw a guy wearing heels. Made a comment to my best friend about it later... we saw the same guy last night and my best friend turned to me and goes "Isn't that the faggot that was wearing the heels the other night?" Kinda pushed back the schedule on telling him, although I have another friend ( that I'll be telling soon.

Yeah... I'm extremely introverted. I talk to people I know and that's about it. When it comes to women, I have less than zero confidence (though I have found something that sometimes helps break the ice... will mention it below) - A completely came on to me... Said introversion is compounded by the fact that my dad had a stroke 4 years ago and I'm the only one who's willing to take care of him, which kinda puts another cramp on the social life. Not exactly good for someone in their mid-20s. I'm a workaholic and spend my free time enjoying one of dozens of hobbies, often immersing myself quite deeply. I have exactly one person who I would call a close friend, the girl that I love, we'll call her A, my best friend's gf, we'll call her S, a former employee, B, that I grew close to and has helped me through the last few months, and a few peripheral "friends." Said best friend is the only one who's stuck by me through anything and everything... As for S... I'm still completely dedicated to A and while things aren't quite where I'd like them to be, we're progressing and I'm very hopeful that we can reignite everything that we already had. I do have an attraction to S but there are problems with that... 1) my love for A 2) S sees me like a brother more than anything else and 3) S and my best friend just broke up about a month ago after a 4 year relationship and he isn't over her yet. I don't want to go for her and have it be a wedge between him and I since my friends are so few and he's never done anything to betray me (yes, he would very much take it as a betrayal of him... he doesn't even want her and I to talk). As to the ice breaker... A knows I have an attraction to navel piercings and had been contemplating getting one of her own but was scared. I had thought about doing my own before, mainly because I wanted to know what it was like first hand... Her apprehension was about the only excuse I needed to go ahead and do it. So, I ordered the stuff online and did it myself (after all, if I can impale myself, it can't be that bad being done by someone else). She still didn't end up doing hers (well, she did it about a month ago when we weren't talking... I'm just disappointed I wasn't there ) but... all of the women (7) I've told found it fascinating that a male would do that. Of those 8, 5 already had theirs done and we got into conversation about them... Two of the others have asked me to do theirs. Took me almost 2 months to tell my best friend since I feared how he would react... he was surprised but took it much better than I thought. A couple months ago, I added another... that combined with telling him I've got a total of 5 holes in my ears (not that you'd ever notice them unless I told you they were there - he didn't for 5 years) kinda pushed him farther than he was ready to go... He understands that I'm not gay but I think it might push him over the edge if he knew about the heels. Too much too quick for him. With the reaction to my navel, I'd have to say most of the girls who know about it would probably not freak about the heels, but one step at a time... wouldn't want to risk things getting back to my best friend and end up pushing him that much more.

Most of you probably won't remember me but I posted to the old board a couple times about a year ago and have been lurking here ever since. To recap my posts of last year, I live in a very conservative county in western NY and manage a family restaurant. The combination forces me to be very careful with the image that I present to people so it doesn't affect my occupation. Last year, I took my first steps out in public, going to deserted 24 hour grocery stores in the middle of the night and shortly thereafter, day trips into the city... always in very modest boots that could easily be construed as thick soled mens work boots to most people. Flash forward to this year... I met the girl I had always dreamed of having and we both fell deeply in love with each other. Literally everything I ever said that I wanted. I spilled my guts to her about all my secrets/quirks save this one. She too is into heels and everything else is great between us so I think she would handle it just fine. However, the one thing that came between us was she already had a boyfriend and had conflicting emotions about what she wanted since she's still relatively young. Between pressure from her parents, feelings of guilt, leaving for college, etc... I ended up getting pushed away and we didn't talk at all for a couple months. Losing the one thing that I always wanted drove me to contemplating suicide. I was completely comfortable with doing it, had the date and method picked out, wrote my suicide note and will, pre-planned my funeral, etc... As the date got closer and closer, I had this desire to come clean to some of my closest friends about my secrets. I had never told them because I feared their reaction. I'm pretty much a loner and didn't want to push away the few people I cared about. Well, they got all the secrets except for one... which I told them was something that was only to be known to that special someone. My best friend, being extremely concerned about my deteriorating state and knowing there wasn't really anything he could do to help, bit the bullet and called the woman who was the source of my problem. He absolutely hates her for doing what she did to me but knew he didn't have any other choice. It was about 2 weeks before the chosen date when I received the call from her... she left the other guy and wasn't sure that she was ready for anything right now, but we started talking again... and just hearing her voice and knowing she still cared completely changed my mind about what I was going to do... (on a side note, things are much better now and the date has come and gone) In the aftermath, I found somewhat relieved to get most of my secrets off my chest and didn't have anyone react too negatively. Most of the people who found things out were in shock to find out about my wild undercurrent more than anything else. With that relief, I had a growing desire to tell one of my friends about my final secret. I know my best friend wouldn't accept it very well, so I turned to his ex-gf, since she is someone that I'm close enough to that I know I can trust her and yet distant enough that she can't really cause any problems if she had a negative reaction. I also knew she wore the same size shoe so it could be sort of a bonding moment. Being curious as to what my final secret was, in the week or so leading up to telling her, I dropped a few hints to kind of prepare her for it. This week, we made plans for her to come over on a night that I knew none of my other friends would be around so I can help her with a research paper she needed to do and she could see the project I've spent the last 2 months working on. A little while before she got here, I had put on a pair of black knee boots with a chunky 3" heel and square toe under a pair of longer jeans that hid the heel pretty well. I was out in my garage working on my project when she got here and I motioned for her to park on the lawn, conveniently in a place where I could walk on grass almost all the way back to the garage to avoid the heel click, and went over to greet her. She got out of the car and we said our hellos... I brought her into the garage and on the way, she did a casual glance down at the ground. Being the gentleman that I am, opened the door and let her walk through first. This also had the side benefit of me being able to go in after her so I could walk a little ackwardly to avoid the click. I sent her over to the project and slowly followed behind her when she wasn't looking. After about 5 minutes of checking it out, she was on one side and I was on the other. I shyly asked her if she noticed my secret. She smiled and her response was "What, your shoes?" Figuring that she probably noticed them when she looked down at the ground, I replied with a "yeah." She followed with a "I thought they looked kinda girly but I didn't want to say anything." At this point, I moved my leg into view and lifted up my pantleg. She busted out laughing, telling me she would be rolling on the floor if there was room. Not quite the initial reaction I was looking for but she quickly apologized and started asking me questions about them... Before leaving the garage, she said it just kind of took her by surprise, knowing the image that I normally present... She was very accepting of them and repeatedly told me that night that it's not a secret I should be bothered by and if my friends can't accept me for who I am, they can go <explitive> themselves. We went to my room to work on the paper and while we were there, we started talking about how I've got a collection bigger than hers. She asked to see them and had a chuckle again at a couple fetish pair that I have but while she was looking, she grabbed a pair and said "ooh, I love these! Can I try them on?" Of course I let her... they were a bit too large though, the result of a quick grab at a department store without trying them. We talked a little bit about my adventures going out and why some of the shoes don't fit as well as they could. I told her how I still get a little nervous when going into stores to buy shoes. She piped in with a "well, sometime we'll have to go shoe shopping together... I just love shopping!" Going with a girl will make it more comfortable for me in the store since I have a reason to be looking... even looking at the same racks Also means that I can avoid the gay stereotype by having a girl walking around with me while I'm in heels. Overall, I'd say it's been a great experience... Next up on the list is my (soon to be once again, hopefully) gf once our ties grow back to where they were. I don't want to risk scaring her off after just reaquainting ourselves again. I'm not sure I can ever tell my best friend, not because of his reaction because I don't think he'd notice if I didn't say anything, but because I don't want to put him in an uncomfortable situation with his other friends if they find out. Thanks for listening