bluetango

Dr. Shoe, I am glad that I stimulated some exciting debate with this topic. You used 604 words in your response. You've only got 7396 left for today. Be careful. You may use up your manly allotment! Bluetango

Magickman, Nice story. You are a proud and confident fashion pioneer. You seldom mention comments from people and don't dwell and the wide eyed looks. You aren't looking for approval or validation from the public. You're just enjoying your passion. Way to go. I live in the same part of the country as you do. My public heeling is limited to chunky heeled shoes and boots - a more conservative look than stilettos. Yet I encounter many a stare. I notice the stares, and carry on with my life. Every so often, I greet the wide-eyed view with a warm smile and "Hello." I want them to know that I'm no threat. Each time you make someone stare, you send a message supporting the cause of fashion freedom. Bluetango

The "differences" between men and women are socially created structures. I suspect that, if left to our own, there would be little difference between male and female attire. A number of these socially created structures are the work of religions. Religions, not to knock anyone's faith, seem to take a strong interest in the reproductive activities of people. This is especially true of the more fundamenalist faiths (e.g., the Muslims). Another social force that creates differences between men and women is the fashion industry. The fashion industry spends billions on emphasizing the differences between sexes. By spending the bulk of its advertising money on women, industry exploits the conventional thinking that men and women are different. The reinforces the belief that there are big differences. What if advertisers of high heels showed both men and women wearing thier products? I wouldn't have a problem with that. Bluetango

Conventional thinking is that men and women are different - coming form different planets. According to recent research, the differences are actually none to slight.

http://www.startribune.com/stories/389/5721877.html

(You may have to open a free account to access the article.)

At the level of DNA, the differences are even smaller.

So, if we are so much alike, why can't male heel wearing be accepted?

Bluetango

dr1819, Pointy toes look like they are crushing the feet, but the current fashion is to have the pointed part of the toe box in front of the toes. The toes are comfortably located in the wider part of the shoe and don't get sqeezed together. This style creates a shoe that is very long compared to the foot. If you look at these shoes, you'll see how unusually long the toe box is. So I don't think there will be many foot injuries from the current pointed toe designs. Bluetango P.S. I have some of these pointy toe shoes. The problem I have is that they are so long, I am always colliding with some object. They require a good deal of attention to obstacles.

Lindsay said:

The last person to ask me if I was gay, I replied: "Why? Do you fancy me?"

Lindsay, that cracks me up. I will have to remember it.

It reminds me of the response I gave a construction worker who asked why I had long hair (this was year ago - it's short now). I replied, "I'd cut it short, but then I'd look like you."

Bluetango

I think that gauchos are a developing trend. We've discussed them a bit in another thread. See:

http://hhplace.org/hhboard/viewtopic.php?t=5228

They would look great with high heeled boots. Saw a stunning women in the gaucho look and boots at the supermarket recently. She was on the cheap for the gauchos. There were jeans which she had rolled up to the knees.

I've been doing some shopping and everyone seems to have them. Amazon.com listed a huge number in prices ranging from $15 to several hundred.

I haven't made my mind up on any of them, but the idea of cutting the legs on a pair jeans just below the knees seems like a reasonable option.

Bluetango

Kneehighs is right. The shoes are just an excuse. I never wore heels before my divorce but my ex convinced herself that I was a cross-dresser because of my collection of running tights and a few pair of panty hose that I layered under the tights when running in the coldest weather. (I'm from Minnesota.) If that is the only thing "wrong" in a relationship, then the relationship isn't going to end. If you want it to work, you can accept an eccentricity in your partner. I don't want to be bitter, so I will drop my story at that. Bluetango

JeffB, I'm partial to snakeskin, so I like the shoes. However, they may raise a few eyebrows in public. I am a newbie public heeler and I stick to chunky heels. Of course, after a month or two of experience with these, I think I'll be moving to more slender heel styles. Bluetango

Dr. 1819, Thanks for your explanation of addiction. My ability to function in society and do my job is not impaired by my heels. What a relief to know I am not addicted! Storage space in my closet - that is impaired.

JeffB, I'm with Dawn on the black and white pumps. Go for it. The contrast is striking and eye catching. I don't think you'll be ignored in them. Bluetango

I don't get out a lot due to a heavy work schedule and not much money (divorced and paying for it!); but, each Saturday for the last 3 weeks I have had to run over to Home Depot for things. It is, of course, a pretty macho place. I wear my boots with 4" chunky heels. I walk in, find what I'm looking for (or ask a clerk for directions) and go about my business. I have difficulty telling whether people notice, are concerned or what. I'm in a hurry and don't spend time looking around to see who is watching. It is just an errand and I am just a guy in boots. I see some sour faces, but I see them everywhere. I've wondered if it is disapproval, but I have no way of knowing without asking. I just carry on. As it says in the title of the Richard Feynman biography, "What do you care, what other people think?" Frankly, I don't give a damn what they think. They are my feet and my boots. By the way, the Feynman book is a hoot to read. He was a Nobel winning physicist, with interests in everything. Reading it makes you want to be a genius. Bluetango

What's a TV? I have one but I haven't figured out how to turn it on. Too busy heeling. Seriously, a Bravp featire would be a good idea. How many of us would volunteer to go on camera for the show? They will need volunteers. Once it is on TV, it becomes accepted. Let's go for it. I might even turn my set on to watch the show. Wait, that's on cable. Dang. Bluetango

Addicted? We all are.

Tonight, I discovered these at Victoria's Secret. I've got to have them in the snakeskin!!!!

What do you think?

I'm panting!

I think that a guy could pull it off with either palazzo pants or gaucho pants. (By which I mean, minimal resistance.) Gaucho pants would be more easily accpeted, I think. In fact, I've been thinking of gaucho pants a lot - good way to show off boots and not as extreme or gender bending as a skirt in public. Anyone tried gauchos in public? I'm on the verge of doing it. BlueTango

Mskim61, I believe you will find that many of us have a similar addiction. I've only been collecting for 2 years, so I'm not too saturated with boots and shoes. Nonetheless, I have far more than I "need". Shoes are an art form. There are a lot of wonderful shoe creations and too few feet to wear them on. I think one has to discard some shoes as new ones are bought. That way you can keep trying the new models. Bluetango Who likes visiting model homes. Especially when the model is home.

Bootboy09, An altogether excellent first outing. I think your choice of a low, chunky heel was excellent. The style you picked is actually quite masculine (as if one could define what that is). Let's just say it is not "too" fashionable. It was interesting that your wise-acre partner tried to make fun of you and others, like your boss, put him in his place. It is nice to see that others agree that rudeness is rude. (Am I good with the obvious or what?) I street heel more and more, but don't heel at work. There are some real jerks there and I just don't the hassle of dealing with them. My street heels are all fairly chunky and I think that helps with acceptance. I never get comments - I have grey hair and people respect grey hair! LOL! Keep heelin' Bluetango, who owns almost nothing blue

Magickman, Well said, again. We have a lot to be proud of. We're fashion pioneers. My ready response if anyone should ask me, "Why?" is, "Because I like them. Don't they look great!" The only problem is, no one has asked me in a long time. Blue Tango

Bert wrote:

My logic is: finding a good wife which is smart, intelligent, independent, attractive, driven, mentally stable etc. is pretty hard, and I have found one. But she happens not to like my heel habits. Finding a woman that accepts my heels is probably an achievable target, but one that is all of the above as well, is next to impossible.

Bert,

I agree. It sounds like you have a quality partner in your wife. A compromise or two on a non-critical issue like heels is certainly in order.

Blue Tango

Hello Ward, Your post has been sitting all by itself for a long time. I'm new to the group and live in Plymouth. BlueTango

confidence eh? I could go for some of that stuff.

asdf174/Arron,

I can empathize with your feelings, because I’ve had my days of feeling worthless. But you are being too hard on your self. It seems that there is no critic more ruthless than a self-critic. Been there, done that.

I felt bad about myself for most of my adult life. Then I complained to my doctor about difficulty sleeping. He gave me an anti-depressant. It didn’t help the sleep problem, but my whole life changed! All of the jerks and bums that made my drive to work unpleasant suddenly became kind hearted, generous drivers. My co-workers changed from vicious conspirators to colleagues who I trusted and who respected me. It was amazing what that little pill did to the attitudes of all those people. And they never took the pill. I took it.

My friend, I don’t know your personal situation, so I don’t know if my experience is relevant. I’m not trying to treat you. I mention this in case it might help.

Also, if money is a problem, don’t worry. That’s what my doc told me when I was about to be laid-off. The pharmaceutical companies have programs to help.

BlueTango

Who thinks that anyone who has the intellect to read these posts has a pretty active mind.

Name: Steve Age: 58 Gender: Male Location: Minneapolis, Minnesota, USA Occupation: engineer Height: 5 ft 8 in (173 cm) Weight: 180 lbs and fallling. (82 kg) Shoe size: men's 7, ladies 9 What's your favourite heel style: chunky and fat What's your favourite shoe style: short boot Do you wear your heels outside: yes What is: (a) Your favourite heel height: 4 inch (100 mm) ( Your highest heel height: 6 inch (150 mm) How often do you wear: (a) Your favourite heel height: 3-4 times per week out ( Your highest heel height: 3-4 times per week inside home Do you wear socks, hose, stockings or bare feet with your shoes: hose Anything else you wish to add: Fashion freedom for all! Down with oppressive fashion censors! Let's wear what we want and have fun.

Magickman, Another vote for your evocative (yes, I am up to the e's), poetic words. We may have to create some sort of writing award so we can give it to you. It was so enjoyable to read. Heels are sensuous, they're sexy, they ask for attention. Heels say that the wearer wants to look good and impress others. I like that. Let's face it, most men nowadays have absolutely no fashion sense. They dress in the equivalent of a frumpy homemaker's frock. Flannel shirt, baggy jeans, athletic shoes. Yuck. BlueTango Who shopped at Home Depot last night in 4" chunky heel boots.

Bluetango -

Do you wear your snake boots under or over your jeans?

Thighbootguy,

I have been wearing my snakeskin (fake - no animals were killed) boots with 4" heels under my jeans. I had to buy women's boot cut jeanss to get some that looked ok. But not much of the boot shows.

I have to admit that I am a bit of an exhibitionist and am becoming a crusader for fashion freedom. I want my boots to be noticed. So I think I should get some tight fitting jeans with thin legs that can either go inside the boot or stop sufficiently high that the boot is visible. Next Thursday is pay day. I think I'll go shopping - and wear the boots so I can see how they look.

Blue Tango

we have some kind of unusual arrangement with my wife. She is absolutely not ok with me wearing "fashion" heels (snip)

Bert,

You are in a difficult position. I know. I am now divorced because my ex-w of 22 years could not accept some of my fashion choices --- and they were quite mild compared to wearing heels.

I have 2 points:

1. Your desire to heel cannot be permanently suppressed. It would be like telling you that you could never eat your favorite food again because it is not acceptable to society. No reputable psychologist would offer to remove this desire. Studies of cross dressers show that it is fruitless to try to "cure" or remove the desires. If you try to suppress you will be miserable and eventually, the desire will pop up again.

2. Many woman look at a man's desire for fashion freedom as a slippery slope that will lead to a sex change or homosexuality/bisexuality. And then you will leave them. They feel that their personal worth will be diminished if anyone learns that their husband doesn’t fit their stereotyped image of a man. In other words, they judge themselves as worthy based on the worthiness of their husband.

There are a host of issues arising from number 2. (Actually number 1 leads to a lot of discussion points as well.)

a. Yes, a few husbands are probably interested in a sex change, but the probability is low. The press likes to give sex change a lot of attention, but it is an extremely low percentage of the population.

b. There is nothing wrong with being homosexual or bisexual. That is just what some people are.

c. If you were homosexual or bisexual, it is unlikely that you and your wife would have married. The compatibility would never have been there.

d. Most men who want to express their fashion freedom deeply love their wives and family and have no intention of leaving.

e. A person should not judge their worth based on who or what their spouse is or does. A person’s worth and value is based on who and what they are.

f. There is no slippery slope that is going to end up with you leaving her. However, one thing can lead to another. A man wearing heels may want to try nylon hosiery. He might want to get his ears pierced. Or get a tattoo. Or wear a skirt. But does this progression constitute a reason to break up a relationship? If one of the individuals thinks so, it will result in a break up.

g. Telling another person what they can and cannot wear, what length their hair should be, etc. is controlling and manipulative. Should any of us have the right to regulate another on the personal and non-threatening area of grooming? There are plenty of authoritarian countries where dress is extremely controlled. Is that where we want to go?

Sorry everyone. I lied. I had more than two points.

Blue Tango