bluetango

I wear guy thongs. My favorite place to buy them is Flexables.com. They come in cotton or lycra and a multitude of colors. There are made to fit a man's shape.

I'm back. I've been busy, busy. I like the new look here.

Sexual boundaries seem to be fairly rigid for most people. One is either gay or straight. You're either a cross dresser or not. There are no gradations in their classifications or labels. Once they apply the label, and they apply the label quickly, they think they know everything about you. It makes life simple for the labeler, but the label is all wrong.

In certain areas of life, the labeler exhibits flexibility. For example, one who breaks the law is often called a criminal and put in a category of people to be avoided and locked away. Unless the law is a law the labeler doesn't like - highway speed limits. Then we hear that one has to be reasonable and flexible about the boundaries.

Kneehighs: I liked your response - the optical illusion shows how perceptions can be confused by the context. I think the issue lays one step beyond the context confusion - labeling a person based on just one data point is not accurate or fair. The behavior and beliefs of a person are too complex to be assessed from a single data point.

I don’t have a good response to labeling, so I’ll probably spend the rest of the day trying to find one. One form of response might follow the speed limit analogy: Yes, I am stepping across a social boundary, but I see it as a fashion choice. When Julia Roberts wore boxers in “Step Mom” did anyone think she was cross-dressing and about to assume the appearance of a man? Julia Roberts can wear as much men’s clothing as she wants; she will always be a Julia and never a Jules.

Bootylicious, Great stories, well told. Congratulations on your first outings. I agree with Kneehighs on the outfit. It looks good. It looks like normal male attire - except for the boots, but they seem to fit right on as if they were meant to be worn with jeans.

The home page for NineWest.com is interesting. It is fun to speculate about the photo prominently displayed there and here:

An obviously male person studying a shoe!

He's thinking, "I wonder if they have this in a 12."

I like the idea. I think that talking to one another about common fears, concerns, reactions from the public would be helpful in building our confidence. I prefer a non-voip method simply because I'm technically challenged in that area. It would be easiest for me to just dial a number. However, if there is someone out there who can give us newbies intstructions on voip, maybe we can make that work? Who are the technical wizards?

A round of applause for Kneehighs! Finding all those pictures must have been a prodigious effort. (edited to eliminate stupid spelling errors.)

I've been shaving for 2 years. All of the advice above is good. I am going to follow some of it myself! I've been re-using razors. Not any more. I have found that the product "Clean & Clear" helps fight the after shaving rash. It is an acne medication sold by Johnson and Johnson. I apply it liberally with a cotton ball twice a day - and always after shaving or showering. For me it didn't work well when it wasn't liberally applied.

Words are failing me when I try to describe how nice it feels to dress this way just because I enjoy it.

TBG: That is all the reason a person should need.

Hope the rest of your week goes well.

Here is a collection of responses from various posts on HHPlace as well as some originals. Rehearse these in your mind if you’re nervous about reactions. Then you’ll be able to answer without embarrassment if you are ever questioned about your fashion choice. Query: Are you gay? Response: No. Why do you ask? Do you fancy me? ( from Lindsay) Query: Are you gay? Response: No. I wear heels because it is fun. Because I like to wear them. Because they look good. Because I enjoy them. Query: Are those women’s shoes? Response: No, they are mine. I paid for them. All feet are the same. My feet don’t know if I am male or female. Q: Why do you wear women’s shoes? R: They’re not a woman’s shoes, they are mine. I like heels. They are classy and stylish. They look good with my outfit. Q: WTF? R: I like them. I get a kick out of wearing them. Have you ever tried heels? I bet you’d find them fun. Q: Aren’t you afraid women will be turned off? R: Perhaps some will. Many women approve. It is just fashion after all. Can you improve any of these? Do you have other replies that will reframe the issue? Share them with the heeling community. Post your thoughts here. Bluetango

Kneehighs: I'm getting dizzy looking at the optical illusions. A very effective message! Zero: I agree that some people can never be won over. Too bad for them. They are the loosers. Most people will accept heel wearing if it is presented as a matter of personal choice and preference. They might not wear heels themselves, but at least they will accept others wearing heels.

Heck. That isn't kinky.

If you look at the Reply/Review statistics on the index pages of the forums, you'll see that there are a tremendous number of "reviews" but not so many "replies. " I take the high number of reviews to be an indicator of high interest in heel wearing. While it would be nice to have more posts relating different experiences and viewpoints, it looks like interest in male heel wearing is strong.

Great article, bluetango. You should be recruited by CNN...lol

Too bad there wasn't a TV (that's television, you guys) crew around. We could have gotten some coverage.

If enough guys start heeling in public, it is bound to get attention as a new trend. Newspapers and TV stations like stories on new "trends".

Now that I've broken the ice, I'm going to be heeling more. Maybe some other men in my city will get the courage to do it too.

One of the reasons I posted my full picture was so that others could show it to their spouses and significant others. They can tell their SO: "Here's a normal looking guy in heels and he looks pretty sharp." Note that I phrased that as a positive statement. I avoid saying. "Here's a guy in heels and he doesn't look fem." Terms with negative images/conotations plant the negative image in the listener's mind. Instead, I choose to plant the positive image: "He looks sharp."

What does your partner think of your boots?

Canadian Beaver,

Right now, there is no partner to deal with. The last one ditched me after 22 years and that was before I started heeling. The next partner will know about the heels from the beginning. I'm looking for someone with a mutual interest.

There are a lot of shoes and boots on sale at Victoria's Secret now. January must be shoes on sale month.

Sscotty, Tastes change and everyone has different tastes. If someone doesn't like your shoes, it's no different from their not liking your favorite flavor of ice cream. Individual taste can't be explained, at least not well. Why does someone like green? Does it matter why? How the heck does one answer such a question? One just likes green. ( I should have picked a different color. I don't care for green.) Here are some personal observations which I find somewhat humorous: 1. I've always associated wedge heels with being more "feminine" than chunky heels. 2. However, since seeing the wedge styles you have picked, I've changed my mind. I think that a wedge heel can look as masculine as a block heel. And used with the right style elements, a wedge can look down right nice. 3. I sense that you don't view the block heel in as favorable a light as the wedge. A view different from my historical view. It is all a matter of taste and there is no way to explain taste. And our tastes change over time. I'm like Chris. Weges are starting to look attractive to me. They can look masculine and be accepted by the conventional thinking crowd. They can be stylish or not. Bluetango I'm thinking green is a nice color.

can I post your pics in the pic thread on how to use our best pics to advance the cause? Thanks.

Sure. Post away.

The promised pictures:

I was not happy with the pants. They turned out to be a bit too long. They would look better if shortened 1-2 inches. You can see that the right pant leg is just about dragging on the floor. They are also too baggy. I've been loosing weight, (Weight Watchers works!) and all my pants are getting baggy.

Kneehighs: Thanks for your support. I like your new avatar - but the last one was really cool too.

Thighbootguy: I wasn't happy with the label "senior". I wanted a term that emphasized the contrast between the common perceptions and the reality that men can have style too. A term that might have worked better is "mild mannered mid-western man".

I don't think I'm old or a senior. However, I sure get a lot of senior-oriented junk mail! Someone out there doesn't know me that well.

All: I wish the initial post was shorter, but I had a lot to say.

Bluetango

So many shoes and only two feet.

Yay. I've made 50 posts. And on the same day that I wore stilettos in public for the first time!! Bluetango

Katherine881, Double wow! A wonderful collection. Welcome on board. Bluetango So many shoes and only two feet.

I like all of the styles. I say that if a man is wearing them, they aren't feminine, but I am one to push boundaries. I especially like the boots with the sweater-like shaft. I get a warm feeling looking at them. It would be a boot to wear with rolled-up jeans. At least, I'd like to try that. Conventional thinking is that anything silky, shiny, or satin-like is feminine. So if you are looking to avoid negative reactions from the conservative minded at work and in public, avoid those textures. And I guess bows are feminine, but not if they are the bows you tie in regular shoestrings. The distinctions get to be pretty fine! Bluetango A stranger is a friend I haven't met.

Senior Citizen in Stilettos Acting on a tip, this reporter witnessed the coming out of a senior citizen in stiletto heels. The heel wearer, a 59 year old male, was conservatively dressed in baggy black slacks and denim jacket. The fashion free-styler, known as Bluetango, wore black and white snakeskin patterned stiletto ankle boots sporting 3.75” (95 mm) heels. The shoes were purchased on line from Victoria’s Secret. (They are now on sale for $49.) Bluetango thought he would first stop at a gas station to fuel his car. It would be good for the fashion movement to select “Pay Inside” instead of paying with a debit card at the pump. More people would see him that way. As he approached the station, he noticed there were a lot of cars there. His courage faded and he drove on while mentally rehearsing replies for the inquisitive. “Are those women’s shoes?” “No, they are mine.” “What are you wearing on your feet?” “They are stiletto heels from Victoria’s Secret. Here, let me pull up the pants so you can see them better.” “???” “Great looking shoes, aren’t they? I really like them.” “????” “Don’t these look wonderful?” “???” “I like heels. They are fun, elegant, and classy. Have you ever tried wearing them? I bet you’d get a kick from it.” Fortified, he returned to the station. A red jeep driven by a macho man pulled up behind. Mr. Bluetango got out of the car and selected “Pay at the Pump.” He took his time, selected regular, and filled the tank. Surely, Macho saw the boots, but nothing was said. Bluetango carefully and slowly entered the car, taking car not to catch the long heels and letting his slacks ride up to expose the full height of the left boot before drawing the foot into the car. Next stop was Walgreen’s Drugs a few miles away. This would require walking across a rain slicked parking lot and finding the antibiotic ointment he was seeking in a store he had never visited before. He picked a store outside of his neighborhood to reduce the stress a bit. It would be easier with strangers he thought. As he drove, the mental rehearsal of responses continued. He chose to park far from the door of the store. The long walk would be good practice. And there would be a greater chance of people seeing his great boots. Entering the unfamiliar store, he had to walk up and down the main aisle to find the things he was looking for. The heels impacting the hard floor made that familiar click, click, click. A young women stocking shelves glanced up. Bluetango studied the options, picked the house brand, and grabbed a box of Band-Aides for good measure. The shelf stocker noticed him moving toward the register, so she stepped past him, turning to glance at his feet, and met him there. The purchase was rung up. Pleasantries were exchanged. The shopper left. It was busy in the parking lot, and a long walk to his car. More people observed his fashion statement. Now he was gaining confidence. “How about looking for a headset for the cell phone,” he thought? Onward to the nearby Target. Again, parking a good distance from the entry, he confidently walked into the store. This was a good store to pick, because the electronics department was way in the back. The shoes clicked on the hard floor again. There were men and women shopping everywhere. Some of the young women looked sharp in their stiletto heels. Bluetango gave their feet an appreciative glance. Disappointed that none of the phone headsets would work with his phone, he decided to browse the electronic department. Finding a nice set of ear enclosing headphones, he decided to buy them. Marching back to the front of the stores, he selected an open register operated by a middle aged woman. The product was scanned, the debit card swiped and an obscure signature scribbled on the card scanner screen. Joke about how hard it is to write properly on those slippery surface. “Yes.” agreed the clerk. Long walk back to the car. Exposing the boot again to the two men loading their pickup truck, he slid into the driver’s seat. Bluetango’s observations: It wasn’t difficult. There were a few butterflies at the gas station, but I just acted the way I always do when filling the tank. The drug store was fun. Not too many people. It was an easy place to build confidence. Target was the real test. Possibly could be sighted by a co-worker. Large aisles, well lit store, hard flooring. People would notice. I sure hope they did. Never got any comments. I had my camera with me and was looking for an opportunity to ask someone to snap a photo. Didn’t get a chance. I took some shots of my outfit when I got home. I’ll post them tomorrow. Bluetango thought he would first stop at a gas station to fuel his car. It would be good for the fashion movement to select “Pay Inside” instead of paying with a debit card at the pump. More people would see him that way. As he approached the station, he noticed there were a lot of cars there. His courage faded and he drove on while mentally rehearsing replies for the inquisitive. “Are those women’s shoes?” “No, they are mine.” “What are you wearing on your feet?” “They are stiletto heels from Victoria’s Secret. Here, let me pull up the pants so you can see them better.” “???” “Great looking shoes, aren’t they? I really like them.” “????” “Don’t these look wonderful?” “???” “I like heels. They are fun, elegant, and classy. Have you ever tried wearing them? I bet you’d get a kick from it.” Fortified, he returned to the station. A red jeep driven by a macho man pulled up behind. Mr. Bluetango got out of the car and selected “Pay at the Pump.” He took his time, selected regular, and filled the tank. Surely, Macho saw the boots, but nothing was said. Bluetango carefully and slowly entered the car, taking car not to catch the long heels and letting his slacks ride up to expose the full height of the left boot before drawing the foot into the car. Next stop was Walgreen’s Drugs a few miles away. This would require walking across a rain slicked parking lot and finding the antibiotic ointment he was seeking in a store he had never visited before. He picked a store outside of his neighborhood to reduce the stress a bit. It would be easier with strangers he thought. As he drove, the mental rehearsal of responses continued. He chose to park far from the door of the store. The long walk would be good practice. And there would be a greater chance of people seeing his great boots. Entering the unfamiliar store, he had to walk up and down the main aisle to find the things he was looking for. The heels impacting the hard floor made that familiar click, click, click. A young women stocking shelves glanced up. Bluetango studied the options, picked the house brand, and grabbed a box of Band-Aides for good measure. The shelf stocker noticed him moving toward the register, so she stepped past him, turning to glance at his feet, and met him there. The purchase was rung up. Pleasantries were exchanged. The shopper left. It was busy in the parking lot, and a long walk to his car. More people observed his fashion statement. Now he was gaining confidence. “How about looking for a headset for the cell phone,” he thought? Onward to the nearby Target. Again, parking a good distance from the entry, he confidently walked into the store. This was a good store to pick, because the electronics department was way in the back. The shoes clicked on the hard floor again. There were men and women shopping everywhere. Some of the young women looked sharp in their stiletto heels. Bluetango gave their feet an appreciative glance. Disappointed that none of the phone headsets would work with his phone, he decided to browse the electronic department. Finding a nice set of ear enclosing headphones, he decided to buy them. Marching back to the front of the stores, he selected an open register operated by a middle aged woman. The product was scanned, the debit card swiped and an obscure signature scribbled on the card scanner screen. Joke about how hard it is to write properly on those slippery surface. “Yes.” agreed the clerk. Long walk back to the car. Exposing the boot again to the two men loading their pickup truck, he slid into the driver’s seat. Bluetango’s observations: It wasn’t difficult. There were a few butterflies at the gas station, but I just acted the way I always do when filling the tank. The drug store was fun. Not too many people. It was an easy place to build confidence. Target was the real test. Possibly could be sighted by a co-worker. Large aisles, well lit store, hard flooring. People would notice. I sure hope they did. Never got any comments. I had my camera with me and was looking for an opportunity to ask someone to snap a photo. Didn’t get a chance. I took some shots of my outfit when I got home. I’ll post them tomorrow.

Being fired for stiletto street heeling is illegal in nyc and I think if argued correctly, not legally enforceable in mn either. From what I hear, there are specific local ordinances in minneapolis and st. paul that prohibit any employment discrimination based on outward violations of stereotypical symbols of gender.

Kneehighs,

Thanks for the legal references. I get involved in some commercial lawsuits at work. It costs upward of $400 an hour for our attorneys. And you posted all of this for free. What a deal.

Minnesota law is generally favorable to fashion freedom. However, if someone wants to fire you for your attire, they can find other performance related reasons and start building a case. I shouldn't worry though. I have unique skills that my employer cannot find elsewhere.

Bluetango

I like the heel style in your picture. It's in-between the chunky heel and a stiletto. It would be easily accepted by Joe Public. I have a pair with similar heels which I hope to start wearing in public after a few more weeks of my chunky heels. Welcome to the club. BlueTango