TooTall

kids have a fair bit to put up with already (growing up, handling changes in life, bullying at school etc), and I don't want to give the another pressure that they have to deal with.... sure I'll try to teach them to be open minded and not to judge people based on appearance etc, but at the same time, I do not want other people to judge them for what their father is either...... am i over protective... maybe, but that's just how I feel.... as I said, there's no one right answer.....

I'm with you and Bubba, 100%. With children, one has to distinguish between what you find acceptable, and what is acceptable for them to see. With my two daughters at a very sensitive age, I don't think it's something they need to know about - too easily misunderstood. Kids talk, and if they told their friends... they would end up being ostracized for something I did. Kids look for reasons to tease or otherwise humiliate each other, anything that makes a child different. I had to live through that when my parents moved me to a rich kid's school, and we weren't rich. It was hell.

I'm secure in my heel wearing. They feel wonderful, they look elegant. It's not a deviant thing, or a sexual thing with me. I like walking in heels. I wish it was socially acceptable to wear them in public. But, at this time, it's not, especially where I live, and that is that. It would be okay for me to forge new social conventions, but not okay to force my two young daughters to do it by association, and experience the humiliation that the other kids would undoubtedly throw at them.

Life sure gets complicated at times.

My joy is a Lotus Esprit. Don't even think about driving it with heels on, my legs barely fit as it is without any extensions. My wife had the devil of a time just getting into it in skirt and heels.

The more enlightened among us think in a similar way (although I may be lynched for saying so here!) but unfortunately there is a certain mentality among many men that the loo's are just for urinating in, get in there do it quick and get out (certainly many guy's loo's are not exactly conducive to conversation, when I go in I want to get out quick!

Men's rooms just aren't the sort of place most of us care to spend more time in than we have to. Get the job done, and get out.

You ladies have to understand, men's rooms tend towards the utilitarian. The (*ahem*) atmosphere doesn't encourage one to loiter.

Besides, we don't have to go to the men's rooms to talk about ladies. We just wait until the women head off en masse, and talk about them while they're gone.

If that doesn't happen, we head to the bar for our chats. Or didn't you notice, when one man gets up to get more drinks, another one does the same about a minute later? And it takes quite a while to get those drinks and return to the table?

Same thing going on, we're just not as obvious about it.

I like that style. On me, I think it looks good, but I prefer the understated look. On women, it leaves a bit of mystery, and that definitely is something I enjoy. If they want you to see the heel, they'll sit down and swing a foot out.

Well, the Weitzman's showed up. Ended up getting Fever in brown croc. Still not cheap at $160, but for once, I wanted to try out a more high end heel. Gorgeous, just beautiful. But... everything you heard about Weitzman's being incredibly narrow - believe it. I ordered them in 11W (normally take an 11 in a heel), and yeowch, they were a tight squeeze. A few coats of water on the inside, a few walks, they're getting better. Don't know that I'd ever work up the nerve to wear these in public, talk about attention getters...

I'm going to vote 'other', though both might have been almost as accurate. It's a bit more complex than the categories listed. Comfort? You bet. I wish men's shoes felt this good, this light, this soft. Even with the taller heels, women know how to take care of their feet. Closest I've come to that in a man's shoe is Ferragamo loafers, and they're downright expensive. Heels demand that one walk more precisely, and that's neat. They sound neat when you walk: tap, tap, tap. More than that, I feel, well, elegant. Maybe that's my feminine side, but so be it. Wake up, men's designers. Your shoes look like the devil, and feel like bricks. We're having to sneak off and put on pumps just to feel good.

Zappos had Weitzman's on sale, so I splurged for a pair of Garden in dark blue. We'll see if they're all they are cracked up to be. Still cost a pretty penny. A pair I had for a while and thought were just too tight to wear, but too elegant to send back, were Guess Carrie in black leather. The tip I got worked out great - give them a few coats of water, they stretched into comfortable form, but didn't lose any finish. So they're sort of new, in that I can actually walk in them without pain. Wow, going from 3.25" to 4" heel makes a lot of difference. Hoping I can use these in an upcoming Walk A Mile event. Pardon the immodesty, but I look good in them. Driving a log truck in heels? And I thought I was pushing the envelope in my F350...

Heels can reduce your mobility if you aren't that accustomed to them. Try a shorter heel, perhaps, for daily wear? Waist length hair.... *sigh* so few women have that any more. I once dated a beautiful woman with waist length hair. Ended up getting married to her. I won't say I married her for her hair, but that magnificent mane certainly wasn't a negative. It's only down to the small of her back now, but she still looks beautiful.

So if I ever get a date with Keira, I should show up in Manolos? For her, I'd street heel in a heartbeat. And I bet no one would notice. My feet would be the last thing they'd be looking at.

Name: John Age: 50'ish Gender: M Location: USA Occupation: software developer Height: 6'3" Weight: 170 Shoe size: 10.5m/11-12f (slender foot, thank heavens) What's your favourite heel style: stiletto What's your favourite shoe style: pump Do you wear your heels outside: only once What is: (a) Your favourite heel height: 3.5" ( Your highest heel height: 4" How often do you wear: (a) Your favourite heel height: Whenever possible ( Your highest heel height: more frequently, getting used to them Do you wear socks, hose, stockings or bare feet with your shoes: bare feet Anything else you wish to add: If only men's shoes felt this good... if only men in heels were more accepted...

Sounds like you just might be dealing with an old world family. 4" patent stilettos, to them, probably look a bit 'tartish'. I wouldn't say that they dislike you for other reasons, just that you may not have left the best first impression. That can be corrected, but it will take some work. You know you're a good person on the inside, you just have to convince them. As others have suggested, I'd say to tone it down when around them. Natural leather finish, lower heel, probably want to loosen up the clothing in general a bit. Remember, it's their son/nephew/brother you're with, and you're not family yet, so you will be judged a bit more strongly than a relative, and judged by their standards. That's probably not fair, but that's the way it is. Back in my dating days, I wore tight jeans and loose shirts a lot, the girls I dated loved it. When I went to meet their family, I adjusted my attire accordingly - chinos and button down shirt. I wasn't trying to be sexually appealing to them, that's for sure, and it would have sent the wrong message. If you want him, his family comes with him. It's a package deal.

Nah, that's just expectations of others working on you. I'm in a similar position. Live in a small, conservative community. Got two young daughters, and it just wouldn't be right to have their peers ridicule them over something their dad did. Let's be flat honest here - men in heels won't play in a small conservative town, and with a family, you probably don't need to break new social ground with a group that just won't accept it. Your family would pay the price. I know exactly how you feel. As for me, I just love the way heels feel. Not into the really high ones (well, might try some someday), but 3-4" stilettos, I feel elegant in them. Dressed correctly, I think I look good. Nothing wrong with that, they're just shoes after all. Remember that court heels were worn first by men in the 1800's. The modern pump is directly descended from the court heel. Couple of things you might try: Look up a Walk A Mile In Her Shoes event. They're held all over the place, google it and you should find their main page. That's what got me started in heels, it's a charity where men walk a mile in heels, and darn it, I liked the way they felt. It's a fun way to do a bit of street heeling without feeling self conscious. Heck, your wife might get a hoot out of it, mine sure did. You can stealth heel with some really good cowboy boots. Some of the better ones come with up to a 2.5" heel. Pointy toes, too. Isn't that odd - the most manly of footwear is really just a mid heel pump. The effect is somewhat the same, even if they don't have the ultra light weight of a well made pump. Again, there's nothing wrong with loving the way this footwear feels. I have a pair of Nine West's that are just dreamy to walk in. If only men's shoes felt this good. Now, if you were going around kicking people with 4" stilettos, that might be a problem.

A bit of toe cleavage on a lady with slender feet... darn sexy in my opinion. Don't think it looks good on me, though. Then again, I'm from the metrosexual male in heels looking male school of thought.

One thing I've noticed - the fit on heels is much more critical than it is with men's shoes. Too loose, you're flopping around. Too tight... agony. This could be one reason sizes are so variable across brands and styles. These ain't your daddy's work boots.

While I don't engage in the gay lifestyle myself, I wouldn't deny other people the right to do so. And there is certainly good reason to extend the civil benefits of marriage to committed gay couples - there are real benefits for taxes, shared property, and especially health care. Perhaps it's the traditionalist in me, but I do wish they'd call it something else. A lot of people have changed some basic beliefs to accept the gay lifestyle as a valid one. Surely they can extend to us a modicum of courtesy in this matter, in respect for our feelings.

I think sexiness is as much attitude and persona as it is attire. I can think of several women I've known that, on first glance, appeared attractive, but had a bitter, almost hard bitten look on their face, that just spoiled the whole thing. And I've learned that this look isn't just on the surface. When I've talked to them I found that it reflected something going on in the mind. Not for me, been there, suffered through that. And I've known a couple that were not necessarily beautiful, but had a magnetism that couldn't be ignored. I worked with one that was a bit heavy, although she wore much of the excess in the right places. Still, she had a look in her beautiful blue eyes that just drove me crazy. No, I don't think men in heels would diminish the sex appeal of women. Heels are only one part of a complete picture.

I also hate the ultra baggy look. People will look back in 10 years and say - you actually wore those hideous things? Being tall and slender, women's heel cut jeans are about the only jeans I can find that are long enough, save special ordering them online. Interesting - 15 years ago, I never had a problem finding jeans of 31" waist and 36" inseam for men. Today, you just can't find them, it's all waist larger than inseam. Is the populace getting that fat? No wonder the men are all wearing baggy jeans, trying to cover up the bulges. Try working out, eating less, and stop vegging out in front of the tube. You'll feel better, as well as look better.

Some of it has to do with the quality of the shoe itself. Mine are in the 3" to 4" range, but I'm finding that heel height doesn't affect stability as much as the overall design of the shoe, including the sole. Some of the cheaper ones are wobbly as all get out, while the midrange priced heels seem more stable, as well as more comfortable.

I won't say they aren't for guys, but will say that they're not my style. I prefer the understated elegance look, but that's just me. If you can pull it off, go for it. Some people have the sort of outrageous personality that would make pink footwear seem like just an extension to the exuberance.

It's a lot of fun. I went on one last year, and thanks to my wife's coaching and a very nice pair of heels, I did the mile with no discomfort, no stumbles, and actually loved the way they feel. And here I am.

to interview her?

i'd stand barefoot in a box of manure!

I'm with you. If we had more members of Congress who looked that good, we'd probably still be in a mess, but at least we'd want to watch congressional hearings.

When it comes to making politics interesting, I'd say the Germans could teach us a thing or two.

Oh, they have dress codes for men, too. They aren't publicized too often, because men in general aren't flashy dressers. If anything, men get tagged for dressing too casually. There is some logic to this. If you're teaching at an elementary or high school level, you probably shouldn't be showing cleavage. Not appropriate for the mission of the organization, definitely sends the wrong message to boys with hormones kicking in. In the business place, customers and professional associates judge the company by the appearance of the people, amongst many other things. A sexy woman showing off might catch their eye, but in a lot of businesses, it would be considered inappropriate and distracting. (oh, what a way to be distracted) We had this come up from time to time in the accounts payable division on the floor below me. It was always women, and it was always lectures on not showing too much skin, or whatever else they were showing. OTOH, a woman can exhibit just a bit of hourglass in a business suit, and I'll be imagining what's underneath for the rest of the day. Look on the bright side - I worked in a building that had girl computer geeks. Looking at them, with baggy jeans, ragged tennis shoes, loose sweat tops, and unkempt hair, I can see why I had trouble getting a date in my younger years.

Exactly. The outfits don't work well together, and they're going out of their way to show off the heels. Women in a pants suit wouldn't be caught dead in that combination. The same guys with black boots, perhaps tan with the tan outfit, even basic black pumps with trouser legs the appropriate length, that's the sort of look that might actually be acceptable. Subtle elegance. In a guy's outfit, the trousers would hang low as they do normally. Sort of like the one guy towards the back in the dark suit. You know, the 'rules' regarding outfits weren't arrived at arbitrarily. For the most part, they make sense and result in an aesthetically pleasing presentation. Just my opinion, but men don't look good in pink. I didn't care for it even with the T-Mobile cycling team. I willingly concede that this is probably personal taste on my part.

Gives me peace of mind. It is so delightful to discover that other men like heels for the same reason that I do. With me, it's not a fetish thing, I just like them. With society conditioning us as it does, it's easy for a normal male to think that wearing heels is not something they should be doing. Darn it all, they feel neat. I feel graceful in them. And, with black pumps and long jeans or pleated dress pants, I think I look sharp. Not feminine, not deviant, just sharp. I tend to be long and slender to begin with, heels accentuate that.

You're doing well with the 5" - I still struggle with anything over 4", my knees keep wanting to bend me into a duck walk, most ungraceful. Under 4", I could walk in them all day, and look good doing it. What I enjoy about this community the most is - it's okay to like heels. They feel neat. They look beautiful. Most of the guys here seem to be normal hetero males who have discovered that footwear doesn't have to be boring. Now, if we could just get the rest of the world to see this. Welcome to the discussion.