RubenScolari
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Posts posted by RubenScolari
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On 7/29/2021 at 5:46 PM, pebblesf said:
Hi Ruben, thanks for taking the time to write here and trust us with your fears. I am guessing you are relatively young, but that is because you mentioned living with your parents. Trust me, we understand, many of us have had to deal with similar issues. You are not alone buddy, and are among friends here.
Society (at least here in the states), loves to silently dictate how "traditional men and women should behave". We don't all fit into those vague definitions. But, it is so important for you to realize, that enjoying wearing heels and boots has nothing to do with sexual identity and preference. Take some time to read posts here, you will see that many of the guys have wives/girlfriends, and are "straight". Enjoying heels is not restricted to gay guys, all guys can enjoy them, and do.
All that being said, I am not trying to minimize your feelings/worries, I totally understand. I guess one of the benefits of getting a little older is that we lose all those fears about "what others might think....". Guys can look great in heels, and often times having the courage to wear what you want is seen as confident and masculine as well.. Heels are not just for women, it is important to remember that it was men that first wore heels several hundred years ago, then women somehow took over this fashion trend.
I'm sorry you feel the need to get rid of your heels, but understand that also, many of us have been through this same issue. The important thing to remember is that discarding your heels won't remove your desire to wear them.... You will probably purchase more heels in the future. But, I understand your fears that the parents may find them leading to an uncomfortable situation. We understand for sure. Do you have any trusted friends/relatives you could reveal your love of heels to? Having someone to talk to will make a big difference and help you to feel much better, and not worry so much.
Stay strong buddy, keep coming back here for support and encouragement....Don
Thanks for your comment, it has really helped me a lot. It is true I shouldn't worry that much. And also it is true that discarding them won't help, in fact I have discarded a pair of boots in the past, and then I bought my other shoes. I will try to talk about it with my girlfriend, maybe not telling directly what asking for her opinion about the topic, maybe her answer can help me. Thank you very much for the support.
16 hours ago, Chorlini said:Can you tell us from which country you are? That might give us an idea as to what advice to give you. If for instance you are from Bulgaria I'd advise you something differen then if you were from Afghanistan or Uganda. To name just a few.
Yes , I am from Uruguay, South America. Here is not common to see man in heels. I think it could be risky to wear them in public. Some people could be violent, especially men. Not necessarily physically but verbally.
Luckily, I don't aim to wear them in public. But buying them, even online, would make me anxious. However I am not planning to buy more shoes now, but surely I will do it when I live without my parents.
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12 minutes ago, p1ng74 said:
Welcome to the forum! What kind of heels do you own? You are probably correct, and depending on the style of heels you have, there is probably a way to explain your interest and not be too anxious about it.
I don't really know the name.. if you search " High heels sandals", you can get an idea .
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Hi everybody I am Ruben, I am 28 years old . I am new to this forum.
I don't know if this topic is appropriate for this forum or section. Let me know.
Since I was a child I have always love heels and boots, but I never have the chance to wear and own a par until this year when I could buy 3 of them .
I live in a very conservative nation where is impossible to see man wearing high heels.
Which is making me very sad and anxious, is the fact that I still live with my parents and they don't know about my love for heels. So I had to hide the shoes in a place where they can't find them.
This is making me very anxious , and also I have been struggling with panic attacks. This panic attacks I think are not entirely caused by the shoe issue, but some part of it. However they are occuring to me very often, and I want this anxiety to stop.
So, I would like to know if someone have go through a similar situation, and how they managed to overcome it.
I was thinking in throwing away my shoes in order to calm my anxiety, but I really don't want to do so and also I don't know if my anxiety will fade out after that.
Is there and advice you can give me to accept my love for shoes , and to be more calm about that? I think that my parents wouldn't be angry with me if the find me, but it would be very hard to explain.
Thank you very much for reading me.
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Need advice, plea for help
in HHPlace Cafe! - General chit chat
Posted
Thank you for the advice . I have searched for medical treatment, feeling better right now. I have realized that my love for heels is a part of me and I can't leave it.