StarCrossed

Tapered block heel.

She freak out and said it was not normal for men to wear heels useless they were having gay feelings. She also said that it is a behavior problem and a cry for help.

She is very upset about your clothing/shoe choices. Her declaration of men wearing heels as a behavior problem is incorrect, but her anger at you may be the problem.  

I feels so stupid about opening up to my wife bout this. I should of known better. We been having marriage problems for over a yr now.

Women generally disapprove of men wearing what they consider to be their clothing. All women who I've confided in about my like of shoes or skirts have reacted as if I offended them and that I'm the one who had a problem. Men who have accepting, supportive or merely tolerant, women in their lives are very fortunate. It's important to remember that you're not the one at fault here. No matter what you may have to do to deal with your relationship, you're not wrong for wanting to wear high heels and have some of same freedoms your wife has. This really shouldn't be a big issue for people, but it is, unfortunately.

Hello. I have recently consulted a sex-therapist to have a clear mind about it.

It's understandable that you might consult such a professional considering you have persons in your life telling you how terribly abnormal it is for you to want to wear certain styles of shoes simply because you are a man.  

...but I can wear what I want if I do not disturb myself and anyone!

An interest in shoes or other things obsessive enough to cause distress or harmful effects to the individual has been considered a disorder. To me, you just seem to be perplexed and disappointed by the intolerance by others. I've also read that if it causes distress in others, such as a spouse or family member, that it is a disorder on the person with the interest, the fetishist. It shouldn't be a disorder on the part of the fetishist because of someone else's intolerance or prejudice. For example, if a man was facing divorce by his wife because she hated his interest in wearing heels, it's because of her intolerance or ignorance. That man may decide his interest in heels is not worth losing his wife, his children or the cost of divorce, and decide to conceal his desires or change his behavior, but her choice shouldn't mean he caused the divorce due to his desire to wear some style of shoe. The person you consulted suggested some causes for your desire to wear heels. I wonder if that was based on your experiences conveyed to her or if she considers them global reasons as to why men wear heels or other clothing. I'm sure the reason she gave aren't why I like shoes. My interest in heels came relatively later in life decades after I was aware of my attraction to women. You may decide that wearing heels anytime and anywhere you want isn't always worth the difficulties caused by others, such as an employer, coworkers or customers. Some men are willing to wear in these situations. It's your decision. Also, because you choose not to limit your fashion choices to a small fraction of what is out there because of your sex doesn't mean that you dislike women.

I've worn short zipper boots with 3 inch heels under long jeans to the grocery store a couple of times. They weren't very noisy and were stable enough to not make carrying grocery bags difficult.

This is an update of my previous message. I've worn heels and other "women's" shoes to the grocery store several times. The pant boots I mentioned made some but little noise. Though that store usually had a lot of shoppers, I didn't notice anyone pay attention to my shoes except one cashier who practically followed me around the store to see what I was wearing.

I do recall wearing another pair of shoes in another grocery store which were quite noisy. These were about 2 inch wide straight heeled pumps. Unlike the other store, my visit here was late a night and the store had very few shoppers. I instinctively try to walk gingerly to try to make less noise. There was one worker who sat by the checkout stands who watched as I walked by in both directions.

Those experiences were years ago. I haven't worn my shoes in public at all in almost 3 years. I moved from a very large metro area to a smaller community since then to help my parents (one of whom was terminally ill and died recently). It's very different down here. It's small enough for me to encounter coworkers, supervisors, and my employers clients quite frequently. I appreciate my previous home much more since I've moved.

I've worn short zipper boots with 3 inch heels under long jeans to the grocery store a couple of times. They weren't very noisy and were stable enough to not make carrying grocery bags difficult.

I voted Other. It really isn't comfort, though there is a good feeling in wearing heels. Whether it's "feminine" or not is something that changes with time and not necessarily inherent to the style itself. It can be a sensual feeling, not a feminine one. Men have little choice in fashion options, so available shoe styles are increased by many times if a man considers "women's" shoes. I only started wearing high heels later in life so it's relatively new to me and therefore more interesting, though I still like "men's" shoes. I've always thought high or even low heeled of flat pumps look good on women. My own personal fashion liberation means I can wear them myself instead of just admiring them on others.

I would indicate in some way that I am male, in reviews for styles marketed to women, without making an issue of acceptance of men wearing those styles, even if it's simply using my first name. Some vendors, such as Payless Shoesource, have an optional field in their product review form for gender. As a web shopper, I also look for reviews written by men because I am considering purchasing and wearing that product. It's also encouraging to see that men are buying those items.

Women may not always explicitly state their gender but it is usually clear from their names or the review itself. Women, in real life, often don't hide the fact that they wear men's styles either. A man shouldn't have to hide his gender in a product review because someone else may think he's out of place. Still, there are sites that unfortunately remove or censor reviews from men.

The reply I have received from Dune knocked me for six, they say it does not matter male or female, ladies shoes mens shoes it's just a review and that is what customers want, They are quite happy for a guy to write a review on ladies shoes and they are happy to include it on their website.

It's heart warming to read that sensible and equitable attitude from the seller.

Wearing taller heels does take practice and possibly exercise, but I've decided that my heel height limit is 3.5 inch (9 cm). I'm satisfied with that. Even wearing 3.5 inch heels is a stretch if I go a long time without walking in them. Women do seem to have naturally more flexible arches than men have, along with less body weight to carry, so it's usually easier for women to wear taller heels.

I think knee highs are particularly unattractive.

Knee High stockings may be "unattractive" if the tops are exposed. If long pants are worn with heels the appearance is the same as if longer stockings or pantyhose is worn. Also, the thickness (denier and gauge) of the hose affects how heels or pumps fit, not the length or style of the hose.

Since plus size garter belts are hard to find and expensive when they're available, thigh highs, stayups as the Brits call them, are more attractive and usually quite comfortable especially the lace top style.

(Garterless) Thigh Highs never stay up on my legs, and there's little point to wearing them if they keep rolling down (then falling below the knee). Gartered stockings look and feel better and I've purchased affordable, quality plus size garter belts.

When wearing long pants, knee high nylons are just fine, as far as wearing heels are concerned.

Please understand I'm not at all devastated by the large number of "unhelpful" votes.

Nothing you've written indicates that you were either "devastated", "sweating the small stuff" or otherwise losing sleep over the not helpful votes. Just mentioning something that any heel wearing man would notice if he reads shoe style reviews doesn't make you devastated.

Also, though my review would omit the topic of acceptance of men in heels, your brief mention of it wasn't excessive. I've read at least one very defensive man's review where the reviewer went on at length about not being a crossdresser and not being gay etc. That was a turn off.

Product reviews are written primarily to inform other shoppers about the product being sold. That is why they are published and some sites indicate how helpful they are to other shoppers. Yours is an aid to men, and some women, who are considering buying that style of shoe/sandal.

Unfortunately, a lot of women don't like the notion of men wearing "their" styles and indicate this with negative feedback.

How could anyone think that the detail I provided is not helpful? Or were the votes from women who were really saying they thought the review was inappropriate because it was from a male, and men shouldn't be wearing women's shoes? None of the other 5 reviews had more than one "unhelpful" vote, and most had none,

What is your opinion?

Having read a lot of reviews of styles marketed to women, I have noticed that reviews by men who indicated that they wear the style do get more "not helpful" votes. I look for reviews by men and there's no question in my mind about this. One site I've visited moves the reviews by men to a segregated area not accessible from the product page. Reviews on some sites are probably removed when visitors report them as "innappropriate".

I like your review and find it helpful. Personally, a product review from me would indicate my sex, but not discuss issues about acceptance of men's fashion choices.

It's incredible that so many poll voters don't realize how much women hate the concept of men wearing high heels or any thing else considered in the "women's" domain. It's either wishful thinking or an effort to not disappoint men heel wearers with the truth that women really don't want men to wear heels. Men ought to wear whatever we like and not just what we are "supposed" to wear. Women dress for themselves, and to impress other women, not men

My shoe size is women's US 13W, but sometimes a 12WW will fit it the shoe has a wider toe box. Needless to say, women's shoes in my size are very hard to find. Payless, for example, now has much fewer styles in that size than it did a few years ago.

Still, I have to be happy with my shoe size. My sized feet support my weight better because they are larger. My feet would hurt more and if they were smaller because there would be more pressure on them.

The real problem is that enough shoes aren't made in my size. If there were more of a demand for my size in heels, there should be more available.

3 inch or lower heels are most comfortable for me. I have owned 4 inch stiletto heels, but they're too difficult for me to walk in. I also now prefer the look of 3 - 2.5 inch heels.